“You know, threatening to bring the sky crashing down was perhaps not the smartest thing you could’ve said back there.”
“I know, Orrin! I know,” Fizzy insisted. “I couldn’t help it, though. You have no idea how good this feels!”
A Rank Up was almost always accompanied by a temporary sensation of invincibility as the individual’s mind was still adjusting to their vastly increased abilities. The golem’s case was even more intense since hers came with an extra 10 Levels on top due to a phenomenon the adventuring community referred to as ‘overflow.’ Jobs continued to accumulate XP even when capped out, though at a significantly reduced rate. If and when their maximum Level was raised, this pool would ‘overflow’ into it and give them a surge in power. This apparently also applied to monsters that took on more advanced versions of their species’ Job. Admittedly 10 Levels was something of a ridiculous head start, but Fizzy had wiped out somewhere between 2,000 and 5,000 moon-bugs when she detonated the Heart of Fire. She knew that because she had obtained the Perk called Hunter of Moon Roaches - which was how she knew them as - but not its upgraded ‘Butcher’ version.
“You’re right, I do not,” the giant sighed. “I also know nothing of this creature you’ve become. What did you call it? A dynamic golem?”
“Dynamo,” she corrected.
“Right. And is that an actual thing or just a weird name?”
“It’s a device that converts magical energy into electricity. I’ve got one embedded in me, right around here,” she pointed to her torso’s midsection.
“Ah. That’d be why you’re so zappy?”
There was more to it than just a new part. Fizzy’s new race came with two innate Skills attached. One of those was Lightning Affinity, which rendered the construct immune to all damage caused by that element while slightly boosting her own attacks with it. The other, more relevant ability was Static Charge. It allowed her to continuously convert MP into a mild electric current that, as far as she could tell, was required for her new body to operate normally. Distributing that juice was what those glowing cables were for. Static Field also allowed the golem to regulate the rate of her internal mana-to-lightning conversion. She could reduce it all the way down to zero, forcing her frame into a sluggish low-powered state, or increase it several times over, allowing her to viciously electrocute any meatbag stupid enough to touch her. Of course, as an Artificer, Fizzy could think of some other uses for this, but this was the most obvious one. The only downside was that her MP recovery rate was effectively reduced at all times, but that was hardly an issue since all of her Metal Golem abilities were still there. This, of course, included Engine of Destruction.
However, all of that was a huge pain in the bumper to explain to Orrin right now, so Fizzy just confirmed his woefully plain assertion.
“That’d be why I’m so zappy, yes.”
“I see. Well, that explains… some of what just happened. Though, what are we going to do about this?”
Orrin gestured at their surroundings. He, the construct, and Tony were still on the battered and cracked observation platform, with the goblin still grumbling and sulking in the corner. He’d gotten his hopes up that the bossy golem wouldn’t survive taking all those jolts, but he was forced to give that up once he realized Carlin was playing his hand. As for the locals that witnessed all of this happen, they fled the instant Fizzy made her dramatic announcement a few minutes ago. By the sounds of those urgent yells in the distance, they were currently gathering from all over the mountain’s hollow interior. This was not an encouraging development. None of the three outsiders wanted to face an army of angry gnomes, albeit for different reasons. In Fizzy’s case, she needed the manpower if she was to topple Katya quickly and efficiently, but she suspected this development would resolve itself.
“I don’t think it’s a problem. Haven’t you wondered why they call the big boy back there the Heart of Light?”
“I… had more pressing conundrums to ponder. Isn’t it just a mistranslation that never got corrected?”
“That’s probably part of it, but I suspect it goes deeper. Think about it. Tascuna has no clouds. There are no storms here, so thunder and lightning just don’t happen naturally. Most likely they mistook the jolts coming out of the big boy back there for another form of sunlight.”
“Uh-huh…” Orrin seemed skeptical. “Assuming all of that is true, how does that have any bearing on- Oh, the prophecy said something about light and gold, didn’t it?”
“Exactly!”
In other words, Fizzy was saying that if the locals were willing to put their trust into that drivel, then they would surely look to her enhanced form as the manifestation of their so-called savior. The Paladin still believed it was all a convenient load of bull, but it now occurred to her that the God of Miscalculations probably had a hand in it. He expected Fizzy to arrive on Tascuna and take care of business, and he’d be stupid not to maximize her chances of success by subtly influencing the local leadership to be more… receptive of the golem. That said, her threatening to ‘bring the sky down’ without specifying she intended to do so upon Katya was unquestionably a bad move. By the look of things, this relatively primitive tribe worshipped the heavens. In other words, what she said could easily be interpreted as both blasphemy and a threat. There was a chance the locals decided she was a danger to them and would respond in force instead of deluding themselves into thinking she was the hero of prophecy.
So, when Tizoc finally returned with hundreds of armed gnomes following, Fizzy was prepared for things to go either way. It would appear fortune smiled on her, however, as the white-robed welch knelt before her, and the meatbags behind him followed suit like a living wave of reverence.
“Forgive us, Herald of Light,” he bowed his head at the construct. “We did not believe you were the chosen one. I see now my faith was lacking. I beg you, help us repel the new machines and restore peace to our world.”
Fizzy threw a smug look of ‘told you so’ towards Orrin, who could only roll his eyes and sigh in defeat. He also felt a bit irked that she was called a ‘Herald of Light.’ Did these little ones not see him become the literal avatar of the sun just a short while ago? It was insulting. Blasphemous, even. Still, the Priest decided to be the bigger man and held his tongue, at least for now. He didn’t want to ruin this chance at a peaceful resolution.
“It’s your lucky day, Tizzy-boy!” the golem turned to the soothsayer. “I happen to know exactly how to bring the bitch down. I will warn you, though. It’ll require a lot of effort from your people. Are they prepared to listen to my orders and do exactly what I say?”
“That… is a difficult request. Many do not trust in you, for you are like our ancient enemy.”
The look in his eyes conveyed that he, too, was uncertain whether he could put all his faith into her, so Fizzy took a moment to consider those words.
“You mean that old machine stuff you mentioned?”
“Yes.”
That was a whole other can of worms that the golem didn’t want to open right now, but she knew a way around it.
“Well, there’s a saying where I come from. The enemy of my enemy is my friend.”
She personally thought that was a silly notion that shouldn’t be taken even remotely literally, but this bunch seemed gullible enough to fall for it.
“Hm. I have seen this wisdom in the giants’ lessons. I can agree with it, but I need to know what you want from us. I will warn you now, I refuse any demands of blood sacrifice.”
“Oh, nothing like that, just a whole lot of hard work.”
“I see,” he said, relieved. “In that case, I will pledge my people to support you.”
“Well, that was easy,” she quietly mumbled, then turned to Orrin. “By the way, I need something from you, too.”
“Hm? What is it?”
“I recall you secretly took extensive notes of everything Katya showed us. Do you still have those?”
“How did you-? Never mind. Yes, I have them.”
The Priest had lost all of his belongings during the aerial struggle following the Original Artificer’s betrayal, but Tony had helped him recover most of the items in the following days. This included his golden staff and the book he was using to record his observations, which he mainly did so he could later relay this information to the locals. He wasn’t sure how the golem caught wind of that book, though it didn’t matter at this point.
“Good. Those’ll make things easier. For now you’d best come with me and Tizoc, I’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
“We can speak at my home,” Tizoc nodded. “Come, I show you.”
Unsurprisingly, the Skyseer’s home was the biggest of the stone-and-clay boxes around. Which was good, since a certain someone had to fit inside. Once behind closed doors, the golem began to lay out what she intended to do. Admittedly her plan was little more than a vague idea at present, but she had plenty of time to iron out the details. Her primary goal was to disable Katya’s main power generator, which would cripple if not outright disable her ability to defend herself. Once Katya’s power was cut, it would be a much easier task to find and destroy whatever body or machine actually held her consciousness.
Naturally the Original Artificer would have redundancies and backups in place for such an emergency. She wasn’t stupid. She would have certainly set up such failsafes back when she was still setting up her automaton empire, so taking out her main power source was perhaps not going to result in an instant win. However, odds were high that Katya would have failed to update or even maintain those contingencies now that she felt untouchable, rendering them largely incapable of supporting her current needs. Such was the folly of arrogance. It was a pitfall that Boxxy was always wary of falling into, and one that it would never hesitate to exploit if given the chance. Its shiny protege had taken this lesson to heart and was eager to put it into practice.
Of course, getting to that generator was much easier said than done. Everything else aside, they’d have to actually locate it first. Fizzy had some strong suspicions as to where it would be based on what she’d seen from that elevated balcony during her breaks. Thinking back to all the cabling and fuel pipes, two spots stood out to her in particular. The first was the basement levels of New Dragunov’s central control tower. It was an obvious yet practical place to situate it, as it would make the distribution of power to the rest of the city-sized factory much easier on top of being highly defensible. It was, in the young Artificer’s opinion, the optimal location for a power generator, but far from the only one.
The other realistic possibility was the semi-completed super-structure that caught the golem’s eye when she first entered Katya’s domain. The otherworlder often mentioned ‘her work’ as the be-all and end-all of her decisions and actions on Tascuna, and Fizzy had a feeling that enormous construction was it. The golem still had little more than guesses as to what purpose it actually fulfilled, but she had little doubt that it was the focus of the Original Artificer’s efforts. The generator she intended to fuel with the Heart of Light was definitely in there somewhere. Whether it was currently operational remained to be seen, but it was possible. Even if she didn’t have the mother-crystal, she had surely harvested plenty of smaller chunks to feed it.
All of this was ultimately guesswork and conjecture - not the sort of thing to stake an ‘all or nothing’ plan on. That was why Fizzy needed Tony and Tizoc to scout Katya’s fortress and investigate those locations as best they could. The Shaman would take a few native Stonesingers and use their combined powers over dirt and rock to tunnel under New Dragunov and spy on it from below. He had to be wary of getting too close since those depths were likely monitored for any suspicious seismic activity. Meanwhile the Ranker would leverage the copious forms of clairvoyance magic from his Lightbinder Job to do the same from the sky, albeit far more remotely. He had previously used it to keep an eye on Katya’s movements, but so far hadn’t used it to investigate her headquarters since he didn’t know exactly where on Tascuna they were located. He needed the precise distance and direction to his target for his magic to work, and Orrin’s information would help him narrow those parameters down.
While that was going on, Fizzy had the rifle-toting huntress show her how they pieced together those weapons. The gnomes’ armaments would have to pack a far meaner punch if they hoped to stand toe-to-toe against the forces of their so-called Nemesis without the aid of the Heart’s electromagnetic interference. Unsurprisingly and unfortunately, the locals’ arms were indeed produced as Fizzy assumed - improvised from random bits of scrap and held together by magic, luck, and power stone shards. Furthermore, the construct wasn’t the right specialization for this type of weapon since beams of concentrated heat fell squarely into the Flamespitter side of the Artificer spectrum. However, her solid technical knowledge of the basics gave her a good deal of insight as to how this design - and she used that word loosely - could be improved. With the Mentor Skill helping her overcome the language barrier, the golem was able to educate these primitives and slightly increase both the quality of their weapons and the rate at which they were produced.
Of course, Fizzy didn’t do that with tips and pointers alone. She gave the local smiths her Artificer Job, which under her crash-course tutelage rapidly advanced to Level 5 and earned them the Clockwork Expertise Skill. It wasn’t directly related to the production of improvised laser rifles, but it helped refine their craft. Tony was instructed to similarly spread his Shaman Job among the gnomes accompanying him on his subterranean scouting missions. Last but not least, the golem would end up sharing something else with the moon-gnomes, though this ‘gift’ wasn’t as planned as the other stuff.
“Fizzy.”
The incident, for lack of a better term, began when the hunter called Krum approached the Artificer while she was busy studying one of their barely functional energy weapons. She was struggling somewhat as her expanded dimensions and refurbished limbs had some unfortunate drawbacks compared to her previous, relatively more delicate self. Her careful and dextrous touch had regressed to the clumsy and heavy-handed one she had following her initial transformation into a steel golem. This made it all but impossible to apply the sort of manual precision that her advanced craft required. To make matters worse, she had a feeling it wasn’t just a matter of missing months of muscle memory. Like before, her new fingers just didn’t have the necessary range and precision of motion. This type of physical limit could not be overcome with practice. Thankfully she knew of a way to get around it, but it would have to wait until much, much later.
“You shouldn’t interrupt me when I’m thinking,” she glared at him.
“You are always thinking,” Krum argued.
“Exactly. But fine, what is it?”
It wasn’t as if continuing to stare at the crime against tinkering would yield any more secrets at this point.
“I have a question. I remember our fight, and I watched you battle the black knight we summoned.”
He was sounding a lot more fluent than he normally was. This was because Tizoc had used a Lightbinder Spell on him. Called Enlightened Speech, it allowed any creature above a certain level of intelligence - not to be confused with the INT Attribute - to speak and understand the Common language. This knowledge lasted only an hour before fading completely from the recipient’s mind, and had no effect when it came to writing. It had its drawbacks, but the Spell had proven invaluable to the giants of old when they first made contact with Tascuna’s natives and paved the wave for a cooperative exchange of ideas. This was more or less what Krum wanted to engage in, but the topic he had in mind was too complicated for his rudimentary proficiency with Terrania’s Common tongue.
“I saw you dodge attacks before they were made,” he continued. “How did you do this?”
“I have a Skill that makes predictions based on what I see. It’s not flawless, but it shows me with a high degree of certainty what my enemy’s next move will be.”
“So, you also claim to see the future?”
“Pft. Hardly,” she scoffed. “The prediction I’m talking about is something else.”
“How is it different?”
“Well, let’s take this screw for example.”
She used Geomagnetic Grip to levitate the bolt off the table, letting it hover between them.
“What do you think will happen to it if I stop holding it up?”
“It… will fall down?”
“Correct. Do you know why?”
“Uh, gravity?”
“Exactly. So, when an arm coils, a trigger is pulled, a step is made, or anything of the sort, my Skill interprets those tiny actions and predicts the most likely outcome.”
“I see. So it’s science. This is a relief.”
It was the first time the golem had seen this guy crack a smile, which made her realize something about his attitude.
“Hold on, you don’t believe in being able to see the future?”
Krum looked around the workshop. There were several of his people busily hammering away to improve their arsenal before the big assault, but none were paying attention to the conversation. They couldn’t afford such distractions with how hard Fizzy was working them. Not that any would understand him, even if they could.
“I do not. What I believe is that my father is either mad or being manipulated.”
“Ah. I see you’re the brains of this operation.”
“Hm? I do not understand this expression.”
“Never mind. I’m just surprised that at least one of you is rational.”
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Not just one. My sister agrees, but we dare not speak out.”
“Well, believe it or not, you’re actually right on both counts. He’s at least a little mad, though the prophecy itself is definitely a form of manipulation.
“You know this for sure?” Krum’s tone grew harsh.
“Mhm. In case you didn’t get the memo, I work for the guy pulling the strings.”
“Who?!”
“Ever heard of Melissa, Goddess of Gambling?”
“… No. I know not of any Zelhua.”
The gnome blinked rapidly in confusion while Fizzy watched on with a shit-eating grin.
“Wait, not Itzli, I meant Cipac,” he corrected himself, only for his bewilderment to grow. “What is this trickery?!”
“That’s just my god’s influence. Don’t worry about it. I can never say Freddy’s name right, either. Thing is, he wants Katya dead as much as you, but he knew your old man would never accept my help without some nudging. So, he made arrangements, and here we are, about to grind her white butt into scrap.”
“I… do not understand.”
“Tell you what, I’m gonna do you a solid and help you out here. Stand still, this might sting.”
She reached out and grabbed him by the forearm.
“Teach Job: Paladin.”
A serene blue light flowed out of the golem’s mithril frame and seeped into Krum. He froze in shock as the entirely foreign power flowed into him before he could even comprehend what had just happened.
“What?! Why did you do that?” he raised his voice.
“Go kill some monsters, you’ll figure it out.”
Krum kept demanding explanations, but Fizzy repeatedly shooed him off to go grind out some Levels and get some Skills until he got the message and stormed off. She felt this was appropriate since, as far as she was aware, none of Tiffany’s followers had chosen to serve the God of Chance, yet all of them had grown into their role and embraced the faith. The Paladin herself was a shining example of one such unwilling conversation, and she had a feeling Krum would be one as well. If nothing else, the coming assault would be easier if he was more adept at dodging bullets. It also occurred to her that was a good argument for spreading the Job like she had Artificer. The meatbags would, on average, live longer with Champion of Chaos warning them of incoming danger. However, Fizzy quickly discarded that thought. Her faith was not a thing to be spread in such a manner. Not only would it cheapen the religion and dilute its message, but it also might result in an organized Church of Chaos. That just… wasn’t right.
Besides, Fizzy had plenty of divine gifts to spread around once the time for the big push came. As High Templar, she could bestow up to five powerful blessings to entire armies with ease, all of which lasted for 8 hours. The first was God of Earth’s Divine Protection. It was a flat-out, no-nonsense 35% reduction to all damage taken so long as they were standing on natural ground. The second was War’s Righteous Might, which was even more straightforward. It amplified the STR, DEX, and AGI Attributes by a whopping 50%, resulting in a comparable increase to one’s lethality with martial combat. Next was Zephyra’s grand blessing, Boundless Reserves. Under the effect of this boon, meatbags would not feel tired, hungry, or thirsty. They still accumulated fatigue, they just wouldn’t experience it until the blessing expired and they ‘crashed.’ Solus had contributed Lifebinder’s Seal, which increased maximum HP by 600. That was also the amount it would instantly heal anyone should their HP drop to 0, saving them from death. This ultimate form of insurance was, as with most of the Sun God’s miracles, only available once per sunrise per person.
Then there was the questionably named Physics Be Damned. The divine gift of the Goddess of Change made it so 25% of any incoming ranged attacks that would miss instead of hit, and 40% of those would be returned to sender. The boon’s name was likely a reference to how its effect would momentarily bend logic and causality in a way that only divine magic could. Magical projectiles swung around a target, beams of energy refracted impossibly through the empty air, rocks bounced off skulls as if they were made of rubber, and arrows pulled instantaneous one-eighties as if someone flipped their movement a vector on a whim. Fizzy had never seen these ridiculous phenomena in person, but they seemed awfully close to what she’d heard about the luckiest little box in existence. Whether there was some deeper connection between Geoffrey’s blessing and Minic’s singularity-like luck was a question best left unanswered. All in all, this five-fold cocktail of divine energy would render anyone two to three times harder to kill, though its offensive boosts were rather lacking.
On a more personal note, Fizzy now had access to two War Golem Skills in addition to Lightning Affinity and Static Field. Since she was in no rush, and she rightly assumed that the new Main Job would advance much slower than its predecessor, the construct did not want to rush into any choices. While the preparations for the attack on Katya were underway, she spent hours upon hours discussing her options with Plus and Minus. The first Skill had been rather obvious, as it addressed a long-standing issue the golem faced in combat time and again.
[Magitech Cannon]
Acquisition of two (2) built-in energy discharge weapons optimized for medium-range combat engagements.
Requirements: Level 5 War Golem, INT 150, DEX 100
Type: Active
Activation Time: 0.5 seconds
Cost: 200 MP
Range: 40 Meters
[Effects]
Fires a bolt of concentrated magical energy, dealing fire damage to the first target struck.
Increases the base damage of this Skill by 2% for every 5 INT.
This Skill may not be activated more than once every 2 seconds.
Reduces the MP cost of this Skill by 15 MP for every 2 Levels of this Skill.
Reduces the cooldown period of this Skill by 0.5 seconds for every 5 Levels of this Skill.
This the basic, straightforward, and effectively infinite ranged attack of Fizzy’s dreams. No improvised projectiles, no augment crossbows - just a piece of miniaturized magical artillery built into each bulky forearm. Now whenever she needed to blast something out of smiting range, all she had to do was point and shoot. It wasn’t perfect, of course. There was a small delay of about a second, during which her hand from the wrist down would swing to one side on a hinge and a metal barrel would pop out. This would also force her to drop anything she might be holding with that limb. Then there was the half-second charge before the Skill released a glowing blue bolt of face-melting plasma that flew about as quick as most projectile-based Spells. That meant that hitting a moving target at range would be tricky. It also had the upside of being surprisingly easy to aim since a faint outline of her shot’s trajectory would appear in her eyesight whenever she readied the Magitech Cannon. She had no idea if that was part of the Skill itself or whether it somehow interfaced with Champion of Chaos, but she was thankful for it nonetheless.
In short, it wasn’t perfect, but far better than any other ranged option she’d had to use thus far or the other options at her disposal, so picking this up was a no-brainer.
[Lightning Warp]Acquisition of one (1) lightning-aspected spatial distortion device intended for instantaneous short-range omnidirectional movement.
Requirements: Level 10 War Golem, Lightning Affinity
Type: Active
Activation Time: Instant
Cost: 300 MP
Range: 5 Meters
[Effects]
Teleport to a desired location within range and line of sight.
All targets within 1 meter of the departure and arrival points will take Lightning damage.
Increases the damage dealt by this Skill by 15% per Level of this Skill.
Increases the range of this Skill by 1 meter per Level of the Lightning Affinity Skill.
This Skill may not be activated more than once every 10 seconds.
This was her second choice, meant to address another significant issue the Paladin repeatedly came across. Very often she would be just out of reach of smacking someone, or fail to dodge something she saw coming because her frame was too heavy for sudden movements. Admittedly both of those boiled down to her inability to effectively pummel someone beyond her reach, which the previous Skill helped alleviate. However, Magitech Cannon was ultimately a back-up, and the sheer amount of force she could exert in melee was absolutely ludicrous now. Getting in close and liquefying her enemy with one monstrous swing was still her preferred method of combat. The fact that Lightning Warp also dealt a bit of damage in an area around her was icing on the cake, though also something of a double-edged sword. It could prove hazardous to her allies, especially a certain shapeshifter that she hoped to reunite with.
As great as it seemed, she still struggled between Lightning Warp and another Level 10 Skill called Physical Augmentation Module. Put briefly, the P.A.M. would allow her frame to take on alternative, predetermined forms not unlike Katya’s transforming multitool. Among those was one that would surely address the clumsiness of her new fingers. It also stoked her curiosity since it had Level 25 Artificer as a prerequisite. But, as attractive as this was, she ultimately decided that taking down Katya was more important, and Lightning Warp was far more useful in that respect. She would still get it once she got War Golem to level 15, but that would most likely have to wait until the Tascuna situation was resolved.
Besides, it wasn’t as if she was completely incapable of building things. She could still hold most of the tools without crushing them and put together relatively simple contraptions. And seeing as she had a lot of downtime while the meatbags did meatbaggy things like sleep and eat, she decided now was as good a time as ever to challenge herself. So, she started construction on a little something-something that had been in the back of her mind for months now. She inevitably had to get her Artificer students to help her with the more delicate components, but at least she could rely on them. They were gnomes, after all, and this sort of finicky, delicate work came to them naturally. Communication was also a non-issue since once they figured out how to read the blueprints and schematics she prepared for them. There were certain things that were beyond their abilities, of course, but Fizzy had gotten a lot of practice at improvisation. The only thing she couldn’t find a workaround was the power source, but she could fill that gap herself. So, all things considered, her passion project was primed to receive its first, barely functional prototype on Tascuna, and Fizzy was eager to test it out on Katya.
Speaking of which, a big part of her plan to take down the Original Artificer involved a lot of demolition work. She needed explosives to make that happen, ideally something that wouldn’t go off until it was primed and set. This time the local artisans were able to show off their abilities by presenting her with a curious multi-colored crystal prism. They called it ‘vibroglass,’ but the stuff was essentially a bomb that remained inert until it was sufficiently charged with MP. Each piece had different effects depending on which flavors of power stone were magically fused to create it, but all of them had a generous payload that would more than suit Fizzy’s needs. There was a slight hitch with the production rate, however. Creating a piece of vibroglass was a long, delicate, and involved process that made it impossible to create more than two or three pieces per month. Thankfully, the gnomes had been stockpiling these things for decades in preparation for an inevitable final showdown against the Nemesis. And since they now had a big, tough, and shiny savior chosen by the gods themselves to lead them to victory, they were more than happy to contribute several hundred vibroglass bombs to the war effort.
More good news arrived on day six of the preparations. Tony’s team reported via rocky-talky that they successfully tunneled their way to under New Dragunov without attracting attention. The Shaman was then able to use Tremorsense to detect powerful high-frequency vibrations coming from what he was fairly certain were the basement levels of the central control tower. This all but confirmed Fizzy’s hypothesis regarding a central reactor. It was around the same time that Tizoc, with the aid of his new Lightbinder disciple, Orrin, was finally able to remotely peer into the suspicious super-structure. It had taken longer than anticipated for the two of them to successfully calibrate the welch’s clairvoyance magic so it was situated just above the half-buried tower. After extensive observation, Tizoc detected no magical fluctuations within the ongoing construction project. This meant that, if the power-stone-fueled reactor Katya mentioned way back when was actually inside, it was either offline or unfinished. It wouldn’t be much of an issue either way.
It was at this point that Fizzy decided to stop and went down the list of preparations she had compiled over the past week. It looked a little something like this:
Wash self ✔
Pick new Skills ✔
Gain the locals’ trust ✔
Whip meatbags into fighting shape ✔
Have Tony power-level some Shamans
Kick Tony’s butt for being slow ✔
Test Crusade blessings ✔
Polish self ✔
Upgrade gnome weapons ✔
Review gnome tactics ✔
Locate power generator ✔
Smash some bugs for target practice ✔
Smash some bugs for teamwork practice
Smash some bugs for fun ✔
Find someone to make a crystal mirror ✔
Appreciate self in mirror ✔
Have Tony power-level some soldiers ✔
Kick Tony’s butt for slacking off ✔
Bully Krum ✔
Bully Krak
Convince Tizoc he’s an idiot (refuses to listen)
Buff out scratches on left index finger ✔
Make sure Orrin isn’t slacking off ✔
Kick Tony’s butt on principle
Secure means of mass destruction ✔
Come up with cool one-liner for when I smash Katya’s smug face in
Finish personal project ✔
Wash, polish, and buff self ✔
It was a long, erratic, and mostly completed list. There were some other things not on it that were taken care of as they propped up. All things considered, the High Templar was more or less ready to launch her brief yet blindingly brilliant crusade. The meatbags were in high spirits, too. This was the first time in their generation that they’d take the fight to the enemy directly, and not just hide under the blanket and occasionally bite at her toes. Indeed, there would be an all out assault on New Dragunov, using the tunnels that Tony’s team carved out of the rock to get the drop on her. Naturally, their chances of actually taking down Katya’s heavily fortified murder machine factory in a frontal assault were slim to none, but they didn’t need to know that. All that mattered was that they served as an adequate distraction to pull the otherworlder’s forces out while the Paladin led a small team in a surgical strike against the generator. It was a classic ‘divide and conquer’ plan.
Admittedly calling it a ‘plan’ was still too strong of a word, but at least she’d upgraded it from the ‘vague idea’ she started with to more of an ‘educated guess in motion.’
“Fizzy.”
The golem was about to go tick one of the things off her list when Krum entered the workshop. It was the same one as before, though all of the meatbags had turned in for the night.
“What did I tell you about interrupting me?”
“But you are always thinking,” he pointed out yet again.
“Nope, still doesn’t get it,” she shook her head. “Anyway, what is it this time?”
The meatbag had popped in on several occasions after his crash course in Paladin-ness, which had all been little more than pointless distractions. This instance would likely be no different.
“I wish to thank you.”
“Oh… kay?”
That was so unexpected it actually threw her for a loop.
“For what?”
“I get it now. Cause and effect. Push the wrong pebble from the top of the mountain and you cause a rockslide. Or the right one. You cannot know the future, but you can affect it if you are clever. I always knew this, but only now I am beginning to truly understand, and for that you have my gratitude.”
“Don’t mention it. Now buzz off, I have stuff to do.”
“… Understood. I will return to my training.”
“Come on, Fizzy! Give the guy some credit. He’s trying to make the most of himself, just like we were!”
“Who cares?! Unless he’s here to polish our boots he’s no use to us!”
Those comments from Plus and Minus made Fizzy realize that perhaps she shouldn’t dismiss him out of hand so easily. If nothing else, he was still one of the tribe’s best fighters, so he’d be a prime candidate for her strike team. It was stupid to antagonize and belittle him before Katya was a molten puddle of slag. Cooperation was a two-way street, after all.
“Actually, how is that going?” she called out to him. “What Level are you at?”
“… I am at 17,” he turned around.
“Really? That was fast.”
“I joined Tony’s hunting parties. This power-leveling thing is very strange, but effective.”
“Yeah, that’s how people back home do it when there’s a war on and they don’t have time.”
“I have been meaning to ask about your wars. I am curious what place golems serve in them.”
“Uh, none, really.”
“But you said you were a general in a war.”
Fizzy had boasted about her part in the Calamity Conflict previously, though in the process she ended up blowing her involvement slightly out of proportion.
“I’m one of a kind. All the other golems down there are just brainless workers.”
“So, the elders’ stories of the old machines are also a lie?”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely.”
“How are you so sure?”
“Well…”
Fizzy and Orrin had discussed this topic a few times since it was, to put it mildly, quite the extraordinary claim. Machines ruling the world in ancient times? Absolutely preposterous. If that were true, there would surely be some evidence found of this over the past four thousand years of recorded enlightened history. Ruins, cogs, plates - there was nothing to suggest these ‘old machines’ ever existed. Fizzy would know. She had extensively researched golems back when she and Boxxy were first settling into Azurvale. Much like the doppelganger, she wanted to be informed on what people knew of her monstrous species. She didn’t remember all the details, but was certain that there was absolutely no mention of anything resembling ‘machine-men’ before metal golems were invented roughly six centuries ago.
At least that had been the case before she came to Tascuna and saw those ancient murals on the pyramids, but Orrin had a very good idea about how those came about.
“Do you know what dwarves are?” she probed Krum.
“Yes. We do not have them here, but I heard about them from Tony.”
“What did he tell you?”
“Compared to us, they are taller, fatter, slower, and stronger. Also they are constantly drunk, and many are inbred.”
“Well… he’s mostly right, but he neglected to mention that dwarves hold armor in high regard. Every dwarven family has at least three sets of steel plate in their house.”
It was an exaggeration, but, like Tony’s, not too removed from the truth.
“This armor covers them in metal from head to toe. You’d only see their eyes in thin slits in their helmets. You probably would think they were a golem at a glance. Furthermore, if I remember my history right, they started doing that at around the same time that the Highland Feuds were at their peak. That’s a bloody period of history when dwarves and gnomes were at each others’ throats, killing themselves over territory disputes and familial feuds.”
“So the dwarves are our enemy?”
“No, not right now. The stout-folk all get along peacefully in this day and age, but back then? Oh, boy! New race war every week!”
Yet another hyperbole that was grounded in reality.
“Anyway, the point is, historically the dwarves were ahead of gnomes in terms of technology. Not in making machines, but smithing and metalworking. That meant that one side had full plate armor and the other did not. You see where I’m going with this?”
“Uh… Hmm…”
Krum was a bit startled to be quizzed so suddenly, but he gave it some serious thought.
“So, dwarves in heavy metal show up, massacre our ancestors, who then flee to here?”
The matter of how, exactly, the gnomes wound up on Tascuna was yet another in a long list of mysteries that were largely lost to time. Fizzy wasn’t too bothered by this one since she knew it could be explained as ‘Norman did a thing.’ That aside, Krum was right on the money.
“Exactly,” the golem nodded.
“But even then, why would we remember these as machines and not men? I can’t imagine that everyone made a misunderstanding like that.”
“There’s a saying back home - history is written by the victors. It means that whichever side wins a war will make the records show they were just and correct, and that their enemies were evil and wrong. Thing is, the defeated side does that too, and it’s what happened to your ancestors. Imagine all that hatred and fear they must’ve felt towards an enemy that they could never defeat. Those feelings festered here in isolation. Every generation tells the story to the next, adding their own resentment to the grudge until the truth is lost beneath layers and layers of spiteful lies they tell each other to feel better.”
This was a trend that Orrin found among his own people’s records of the fall of Percepeia. Many would exalt their slain comrades while condemning the Boneshaper as an irredeemable enemy of all life, but other sources showed that things weren’t quite as black and white. In these gnomes’ case, their belief of ‘old machines’ was little more than an advanced symptom of systemic truth enhancement in defeat, otherwise known as being sore losers.
“And that’s how you end up with soulless, heartless men of iron slaughtering you for no reason, when in truth they were people of flesh and blood.”
“If that is true, why would they slaughter and hunt us so much? Such hatred for a fellow man is unnatural.”
“Not unless your ancestors did something terrible first, invited their own doom, then tried to cover it up.”
“Hm. I see. I hope you are right. I wish to explore the world below once all of this is over, but I’d rather not fight any more chaotic killer golems. Uh, no offense.”
“I hear you, I wouldn’t want to fight me either. I mean, how could I possibly harm the radiant embodiment of power and beauty? Utterly unthinkable! You’d have to be a troglodyte of the lowest order to even think of committing such a sin!”
Krum saw the tsunami of self-praise looming over the horizon and opted to make a hasty retreat.
“I will be going now.”
“Wait,” Fizzy stopped him. “Before you leave, I have a quick question for you.”
“Oh… Sure, what is it?”
“Do you happen to know where your sister is?”
“… Is it urgent?”
The golem quickly glanced at the sheet of parchment on the nearby table, then back to Krum.
“I suppose not.”
“Then no.”
“Alright. I’ll see you later, I guess.”
As Krum walked off with a wave, Fizzy somewhat regretfully crossed ‘Bully Krak’ off her checklist.