We didn’t need to hurry to complete our mission, so we didn’t. We could’ve teleported straight to Kyiv and started diplomatic talks, but we had a city we needed to visit first. Eastern Ukraine had become a marvel of the world after the Russian peace talks of twenty eight. The ‘Marescallus’ plan made sure plenty of western investment made it to the eastern cities, and the newer architects who learnt from the west’s suburban and car littered messes that could generously be called cities were put in charge of developing the cities up from scratch. Their cities were known to be incredibly livable and scenic, and akin to something you’d see out of solarpunk.
“Thank god these lads still got brochures.” Said Christian as we drove in a car the nano-chatte had constructed. We planned on taking it slower in Ukraine, and teleportation messed with that whole idea. I was put in charge of driving because Christian always found stuff to read everytime we took a stop, Anna wanted to sleep, and neither the demoness nor Sam knew how to drive.
“Find anything interesting in it?” I said. We were going towards Mariupol, which was supposedly the best of the bunch. I mean, it made sense. It was pretty much flattened during the war, so the architects had to rebuild the entire thing from the ground up, which gave them total freedom.
“Yea. The cuisine is certainly… something. The restaurants look cute.” I rolled my eyes as he said that.
“You can’t say that while being British. I know you’re probably sick of Anna reminding you, but you literally like beans on toast.” Christian laughed heartily before responding.
“Have you ever tried it? It’s not that bad. It isn’t the best, I’ll tell you that, but it isn’t bad. What you should try is a roast dinner. That shit’s smashing.” I was suspicious of any attempt by Christian to make me try British food, but it couldn’t all be bad, right? The endless fields of grain stretched out for miles. Our view was only occasionally interrupted by rows of trees surrounding the road and giant occupied houses that only occasionally littered the countryside.
“Reminds me of home.” Said Sam as we drove past a bewildered man who was walking with a couple cows in tow. They likely wouldn’t have seen a car for a whole month at this point. Without oil imports, most oil reserves would’ve gotten used in a week, or got stockpiled and banned from normal citizen use. You’d need to be in an area with oil refineries that wasn’t owned by one of the guilds to get any amount of petrol.
“Yea, because your world was boring.” Said the demoness from the trunk. Christian took up two backseats with his strongman physique and was scraping against the roof of the car, which meant we could fit Sam next to him. Anna refused to sleep anywhere other than the front seat adjacent to mine, so the demoness had to settle for the trunk of the car. There wasn’t a wall in between the back seats and trunk, so she could still see everything.
“Excuse me? Your definition of exciting is torture.” Said Sam. He technically wasn’t wrong, but the demoness still rolled her eyes.
“Your boring worlds are worse than torture. Would you rather live in a world without excitement for a thousand years or be tortured for one day?” I could see Sam attempt to raise one of his eyebrows, but his surprise at her question meant that he raised both of them.
“I mean, it depends. Would the thousand years be peaceful?” Asked Christian.
“No, you don’t get it, you haven’t been to a filler world. Everyone there is made of cardboard so any reincarnator with a small blessing can bulldoze through all competition like it doesn’t exist, and even a rat would be considered a genius so you literally don’t have any type of challenge. You’ll always be the most important and smart person alive, so no, it’s not peaceful until you destroy or strongarm every kingdom into respecting your authority.” Said the demoness while resting her arm on Sam’s seat and looking at Christian.
“Who doesn’t wanna be the best? You can literally do whatever you want. You’re literally a god in that world, woe is you.” Said Sam while making the demoness look at him.
“Nobody likes not having a challenge. Your god split themselves in two over it.” The back went silent all of a sudden.
“Well, this is new.” Said Christian.
“Listen here you piece of shi–” Sam tried yelling at the demoness only to stop himself after Anna moved in her sleep.
“That’s right, stay quiet Sam. You might as well explain it to me like a reasonable guy. Me and Christian don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, so come on, explain it without being a clown.” I said. I could’ve had the nano-chatte tell me about it, but it was unusually unresponsive recently. It listened to my orders, but didn’t actually talk that much.
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“Well, the Revifier and Coming Quiet weren’t always there. They’re not really all powerful either. If they were, then one of them would’ve been dead. They hate each other, and being omnipotent would mean that they could just will the other into non-existence, which hasn’t happened. A good way to explain it is that their power is infinity minus one. Someone infinitely powerful must’ve existed to create the abyss, and people say that someone was a god who split themselves into the Revifier and the Coming Quiet.” I didn’t even know what the abyss was, but I wasn’t about to ask Sam to keep clarifying. I was only faming interest to say what Christian was wondering about, but was too polite to actually ask about them. Nobody wanted another religious debate, but I also didn’t want Christian’s curiosity to not be quenched.
“Aha! Good to know.” Said Christian. I didn’t know why he got excited all of a sudden, but he did. “And when did the god split?”
“A trillion years ago or something.” Christian instantly deflated when the demoness said that. I was racking my brains to think of a reason why he’d be interested in the topic in general, and specifically why he’d care about the date. I could normally sense the emotions of others pretty easily, and I didn’t sense a shred of disingenuousness from Christian.
“Dammit. Let me guess, he split himself into two after his power got boring.” Christian said. He referred to the god as a ‘he’, so he probably thought the god was Yahweh. That was why he was disappointed after the date of the god’s death was revealed. Since there wasn’t a church to dictate christian doctrine, Christian probably thought it was his job to try to mix christianity with the information about gods from outside of Earth.
“Yea. He created everything and then split himself in two because a lack of a challenge is boring.” The demoness emphasised the last part, making sure Sam knew exactly what she meant.
“That’s a pretty nihilistic and selfish god. I mean, look at what the Revifier has done and tell me it was worth it to make her just so you could have a challenge. I would just create an endless and unending utopia for everyone.” I said while we finally reached the outskirts of Mariupol. I could see the pillar from this far away, and see the massive wall keeping people away from it. The houses on the outskirts were still suburban, but the suburbs themselves stretched on far less than they would’ve in any city I’ve been to. The metal gates and painted over brick walls gave the fences a very uninviting yet imposing feeling.
“Finally! How long have we been driving for?” Said the demoness. We had only been driving for a couple hours. We had stopped several times, but the demoness had refused to go outside each time.
“Three and a half hours.” Said Sam. I didn’t know how he knew that, but it sounded just about right. We finally arrived at a stretch of cobblestone roads, and I stopped driving the moment I saw a half rusted ‘one way road’ sign.
“Alright, get out, end of the road.” I shook Anna awake and pushed the car door open. The crisp air outside the car filled up my lungs as my pained stomach adjusted to the fact it wasn’t moving anymore. I was always pretty weak to car sickness, but this was just pathetic. I was hooked up to the most advanced being in the world, and my stomach still hurt like hell.
“Oh, we’re here?” Said Anna with a shred of emotion before returning to her usual self. She, along with everyone else, went outside. The car melted down soon after to be reabsorbed by the nano-chatte. Everyone else was stretching as I looked up at the sky. It should’ve been around two PM. I walked ahead and didn’t even have to look back to know that my party was following me. The architecture was stunning. Marble walls mixed with the red hues of tiny overhangs and the blue hints in the ornamentation gave the buildings an actual feeling of being lived in and cared for. Bells could be seen every now and then, hiding in the endless bushes and greenery of the city. We walked through the shaded streets of the main square and watched as people noticed us and backed away. Our reputation had spread to every corner of the earth, and nobody could mistake us for another party. The demoness made sure of that.
“Alright, we aren’t gonna be able to be normal tourists as long as we look like this. We should buy new clothes.” I said. I didn’t just want to go to a tavern, look scary, and then leave without a proper experience of the establishment. I wanted to actually be a tourist. Plus, it would only be a matter of time before some adventurer challenged us to a duel to prove themselves.
“How are you gonna disguise this smart guy?” Said the demoness before pointing to the still very attached chains on her back.