Here’s a quick synopsis of what happened to most worlds: they developed life, life got smart, they invented technology, and then got sent back to the middle ages when monsters appeared. It was all a game between two gods, and one of them never won. Magic and fantasy was just too appealing to mortals. Technology was abstract, hard to understand. Magic felt more real, as ironic as that sounded.

The first god played fair. The second one didn’t. The first god allowed it, as they thought it would be used to awaken magical power in people, set up some threats to the world, stuff like that. The second god wasn’t satisfied with this, so she used as many loopholes to make magic always win. The first god eventually found out about reincarnated people. They were given “cheat skills” because they weren’t from this world, so they technically didn’t need to be balanced, and would destroy any and all resistance to the magic order. That was the last straw, all gloves were off. It was time for him to interfere.

“Chat, why are all of you spamming ‘go outside’. I touch plenty of grass.” In all my time live streaming, I didn’t expect this to be a problem. Didn’t I have bots to stop spam? Chat just kept spamming it. Some of them told me to look outside. Others were sending me detailed explanations I just ignored, until it was too much and I gave up. “Fine! I’m looking outside.” I pulled the curtains away as I looked outside and saw a giant pillar of light piercing the sky in the middle of the city.

“Jesus christ… What is that?” My cat, Ruby, jumped on my leg, climbing me to get a better look. “What mythology was right and where do I have to convert to it?” I was fully expecting for the pillar to explode, but it just stood there, shallowing the people who touched it. It didn’t seem like this was the only one, as I could see plenty of other pillars in the distance

“Stream is over. Why are any of you watching this instead of going to the giant light pillar? How terminally online are you guys?” I turned off my PC, then walked out with my lumberjack coat on and with Ruby on my shoulder. There was already police trying to quarantine the place ineffectively. I thought for a second, should I touch it? I mean, if it is some sort of rapture, and the thing kills you instantly, we’ll all be dead anyway, but if it transported you somewhere, then there’s no reason not to.

I rushed to the pillar as a riot was breaking out, total chaos enveloping the city. I dodged past a cop, pushed through a crowd, kicked down a makeshift barrier, and was almost there. I don’t know how I managed to run faster than everyone else. It was as if two forces were pulling me in instead of one. I finally touched the pillar, and everything disappeared. I kept falling in the void until a woman dressed with her own incredibly long white hair pulled me out.

“Ah, hello adventurer, and tiny adorable feline. You’ve entered your first dungeon, isn’t that exciting?” I looked around… Oh no… I was stuck inside a bad litrpg wasn’t I? Oh boy, I just couldn’t wait to meet the overpowered protagonist. “What’s with the frown? You get to use magic now! Or a giant sword if that’s your preference.” Wait, this was my hunting jacket, I always had a handgun in it.

“I have a gun.” If it was either living as a side character, or dying as a gunslinger, I chose death. Guns probably did no damage, just like in every story that starts this way.

“Oh? Hilarious, truly. Guns don’t work against my children, the dungeons will need you to use something else. Here, try this bow.” The woman said before summoning a bow out of the aether. “It’s even enchanted! The arrows will burst into fire.”

“Screw magic, I’m using a gun.” The woman looked at me, and burst out laughing again.

“I’ll humour you, mortal. Kill this measly goblin, and I’ll give you my blessing.” She plucked away a hair, and threw it away. It wrapped around empty air before creating a goblin. I readied my handgun, a .44 magnum desert eagle. Sure, I mostly bought it for the cool factor and because my old rifle uses the same type of ammo, but it works if an angry elk rushes at me, which never happens, but still.

I kicked the goblin away and shot it once. The sound was deafening and made the goblin cover its ears, but there was only a tiny dent in its forehead. It was something, and that blessing does have to be worth it, so I kept shooting. I only had a handful of bullets in the magazine, so I couldn’t afford to miss a shot. The gun and I were battling for control, as it dug into my hand. Eventually I got through the skull, at the cost of all my bullets. I desperately dug through my pockets, and felt something… a hollow point! Perfect.

I emptied the mag as fast as possible, and put the hollow point in it. Fighting with the gun to even load it. The lubrication was barely working. I heard metal scraping against metal as I shot it one last time, praying to whoever was out there that I didn’t miss. By some divine luck, the bullet went straight through the small hole and blasted the goblin’s brains to bits.

“Hahaha! Glorious! I’ve never met a mortal this talented! You managed to kill that goblin with a firearm. Here, have my blessing, you deserve it.” She tapped my head, and I immediately felt power coursing through me. “You don’t have your window yet do you? Well, I’m sorry, but you simply can’t get one if you don’t have a valid weapon. How tragic. Fall in line mortal.” She glared at me after the final statement, staring right into my soul. She prepared to grab it, before another hand swatted her away.

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“No, I don’t think he will.” I saw a black feather float around, and another, and another, until they all came together into a humanoid crow. The room, which used to be filled with motion, suddenly went still as he appeared. It felt like I didn’t need to breathe, to think, to do anything. I could just exist, unchanging. Until she tapped my head, and I felt everything go back to normal.

“Lower your aura Coming Quiet! You’re taking all my power out of him. He almost became a vegetable.” The Coming Quiet ignored her and looked directly at me.

“Mortal. You shall be my first soldier in this world. You show promise, and I’m sick of not intervening. The age of magic is over.” Said the Coming Quiet, his eyes emanated anger even when his expression didn’t change.

“But the rules–” The goddess was cut off by the Coming Quiet.

“No. I know you bent the rules. It’s my turn to do the same.” The goddess huffed and turned to smile at me.

“Come on, why are you still using that toy? Don’t you wanna be a wizard? I’ll give you the power of a reincarnator, a harem too while I'm at it.” The Coming Quiet sighed and looked at me.

“You don’t need her, mortal. She’s putting on an act. Reincarnators aren’t unique, and at the pace she’s pumping them out, a reincarnator killer will be on the loose. You’re better off just being a normal, but strong person.” Both choices sucked. I wasn’t stupid enough to fall into an obvious trap. The goddess reeked of manipulation, and the Coming Quiet outright confirmed she was acting, unless he was also putting on a mask, but it seemed unlikely since it looked like he was acting honestly. I already had the blessing of the goddess, so getting two blessings would’ve made me even stronger. I’d be making enemies with a god either way, so the best choice was the Coming Quiet.

“I choose the Coming Quiet.” Her smile cracked for a second as she frowned. She took a deep breath and smiled again.

“What can he even offer you? His champions are either my fallen champions, or entire civilisations, he doesn’t deal with individuals.” The Coming Quiet waves her off, and taps me on the head. I was getting a weirdly large amount of head taps today. A window appeared in front of me the moment it did that. The window was rolling my stats like every bad pay to win game would.

“Oh no no, you’re not getting any of that garbage.” He crushed the window and reformed it, all the randomness removed. “Go on little man, choose.” I had five stat increases, and all my stats were on E-Rank. They had the standard five stats: Strength, Endurance (There was a little note next to it saying “It means durability, the Revifier just likes using misleading language”.), Dexterity, Luck, and the last one was crossed out, and replaced with “Ability to know stuff you have no right to know”, I’m pretty sure that was either intelligence or wisdom.

“I’m guessing I get to choose a class too?” The goddess, who’s name must’ve been the Revifier, jumped in between me and the Coming Quiet, ready for a last gamble.

“Mortal, I haven’t been honest with you about most things, but this is the end of the line for you. If you allow him to create you a special gun class, I will summon more than one reincarnate to this world.” The Coming Quiet stopped, but I didn’t get it. If this was a game, then I’d have the perfect run. I don’t care what a reincarnate can do, I’ve been blessed by one god, and I’m about to be blessed by another.

“Bring it on Revifier.” The goddesses mask fully broke as she glared at me.

“You heard him. Cut your losses.” I could see her struggle to not kill me for daring to disobey her, almost like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum after not getting their way. She teleported out, and I felt the overwhelming aura of the Coming Quiet, which I barely managed to resist. My body felt like it was moving through honey, barely moving around the god.

The Coming Quiet scrolled through my window, then duplicated it. Numbers flowed through the windows, as the Coming Quiet was doing… something. He fused all the windows into one when he was done, and the dungeon shook as the class changed from “Not Applicable” to “Gunner”. The very fabric of reality was trying to get rid of the class, but it remained. I saw my dexterity go up, and found out that my class mostly had bonuses towards manoeuvrability and accuracy, so I was better off with putting two increases in endurance to tank a few hits, one in dexterity just because it felt right, and the class would make me fast enough anyway. I put the rest in luck because I didn’t enjoy gambling with rigged odds, and that was me done.

“Wise choices mortal. I’m guessing you like cats based on the feline on your shoulder?” I nod. “Of course you do. Since that’s the case, I’ll give you this.” He put a green and black box in my palm. “This is a nano-chatte. It’s an artefact from one of my biggest patrons. It can become anything you wish it to be given enough material. It’s also sentient. I’ll leave for now. This universe will probably become a battleground between me and the Revifier, so prepare for that.” I caused all that? Maybe I should’ve just chosen the damn bow.