“Can you fucking believe it?! That damn mortal had the gaul to reject my power. It’s unbelievable! Oh, and the worst part? He did it because of ‘free will’. I’m not free to do everything I want, but you don’t see me complaining.” Said the demon prince of carnage to his maid. She had been eagerly awaiting his return, and had started nodding along to everything he said after returning.
“The audacity! Doesn’t he know who you are?” Said the maid while making sure her back was perfectly straight. She had already practised her perfect posture for a few millennia. She could perform any and all tasks the prince required of her while looking perfect and professional. It wasn’t a job requirement, but the enthusiasm and commitment to the bit amused the king of carnage to the point where he hired her.
“He does. I explicitly told him everything about myself just to get that damn conversation.” The maid’s perfect facial expression almost broke after he said that, but she managed to maintain her usual look. She’d become a master of not showing any emotion she didn’t want to show, whether it be via body language or facial expressions.
“Who is so important to you that you’d demean yourself into making a deal with a warlock just to talk with them? Is it the demon princess of pain?” The prince looked at her for a second before responding.
“Yea? Who else would it be? That damn bitch compared me to an animal when I know she likes getting mauled by me.” Said the prince. The maid thought for a second about how to inform him about the fact that he has never hit her before, nonetheless ‘mauled’ her, without sounding disrespectful. Even the slightest insinuation from the maid about the price’s performance against the princess of pain would get her special privileges removed.
“Did she even challenge the notion after any of your fights?” That question would hopefully get him thinking on the right path. The maid wished she could be a lot more straightforward when talking to the prince, but he didn’t view the two of them as equals, and thus she was walking on eggshells when talking with him.
“No shit she didn’t… or maybe she did? I don’t remember.” The maid resisted the urge to sigh as he completely avoided any amount of thinking in favour of walking into his garden to check on it. The maid followed him in and readjusted each plant perfectly as the prince moved through without a care in the world for the hanging pots. He walked up to his bonsai tree and picked up a pair of scissors to some of its leaves with.
“I don’t get why you picked a garden, my lord. It is uncharacteristic of you.” The prince tried cutting a leaf off of the bonsai tree only to slip and cut the entire thing down. “And you haven’t been very successful at gardening.”
“You’re talking back to me?” The maid briefly panicked internally before looking down to display a false emotion that could be perceived as shame. “Don’t worry. You’ve gotta loosen up sometimes. It’s kinda sad to see you all serious.” The maid tried slumping down, but felt the pain of her straightened spine trying to bend. Her bones had been moulded to never bend, and they weren’t going to stop just because some muscles were pushing down on them.
“Of course my lord.” She looked through the window outside to see that it was getting dark. “Shall I ask the other servants to cook something or are we dining out again?” Said the maid.
“Hell yea! This is the best shit I’ve ever eaten.” Said the demoness as I served her the fifth course of chicken mixed with sauce that had every spice in the kitchen mixed into it. This tavern was slightly more upper class, which meant they actually had spices, and not just a couple, but most of the notable ones.
“Oh yea, this is the shit I’ve missed.” I said while eating another spoonful of whatever the hell I would’ve called this dish before the apocalypse. Everyone else was asleep as usual, but I doubted any of them would actually even like spicy food. The only one that was a toss-up between liking it or hating it was Sam, and he wouldn’t stay up all night just so he could taste it.
“You know how long it’s been since I’ve tasted something spicy? Eons! Who knows how many. My dad always eats impressively bland food. Like… rice that’s purposefully been boiled in too much water, or boiled fat. It always bordered between disgusting and bland. I’d rather die than eat whatever he eats.” I shrugged before setting my empty bowl down.
“Are you gonna do something about that, or are you just gonna keep complaining about your dad?” She set down her bowl and got closer and closer to me.
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“What am I supposed to do about it? Hurt him into being normal?” She playfully punched me. “Talk to him?” She said while making a call sign with her hand and putting it up to her ear. “That’ll go down really well with him.”
“Stop making excuses. You can’t just hate your dad without at least trying to make the relationship work.” I said after pushing her away with one hand. “I’m gonna shut down now. You–” She immediately shook me after I said that.
“No! What am I supposed to do without you to entertain me? Are you bored? Is that why you’re shutting off?” I felt like she was just asking herself questions at this point and only voicing them out loud so she could have her suspicions confirmed.
“You can’t keep me entertained all day, and same goes for me entertaining you. You should try sleeping.” She got on her knees to beg.
“Come on! Please! I beg you. I’m not gonna ‘sleep’. That’s an inferior species thing.” I lifted her up with one hand.
“Did anyone tell you that you act like a theatre kid?” Her eyebrow raised at my seemingly random inquiry.
“No? Everyone just keeps telling me I act like a kid.” I knew what she really was. She was smart enough to not act ‘childish’ if she wanted, so the only reason she’d act like she does would be the fact that she enjoyed theatrics.
“You gotta get those comments out of your mind. Anyway, how about this. I’ll prove how much we ‘superior species’ benefit from sleep by doing it.” I honestly needed a good nap. I only said that I’d shut off to keep up the robot facade. The human mind within me just couldn’t keep up with all the information clogging it up.
“W-What?! How dare you! I order you to not do it.” I noticed that she suddenly got a lot redder. I wondered why the idea of me sleeping got her so flustered.
“You don’t own me.” I said
“YET!” She said with a heavy emphasis. I shushed her by putting my finger up to her lips.
“Stop being so loud.” I said. Me saying that after shushing her had become a habit that would scratch away at my mind if not fed.
“You’re doing that on purpose.” She swatted my hand away after saying that.
“Doing what on purpose?”
“All this! It’s like you’re actually trying to make me flustered. If you’re sleeping, I have to sleep with you.” Wait what?
“Since when? I know you talk about owning me, but you literally don’t and you know it.” She shook her head after I said that.
“It’s not about that. It’s about you beating me in a fight. I still have to marry you after your contract with the red head stops.” I sighed. I honestly thought she’d have forgotten about that, or just not cared about it at all, but I guess not.
“You hate your dad enough to insult him in front of me, but not enough to ignore the rules he sets on you?” She shook her again.
“It’s a society thing! You robots have rules too. Imagine that but for me.” Societal expectations were the furthest thing from programming. How could she even compare the two? Well… she probably didn’t even know what it actually was, so fair enough.
“Ignore them too. Nobody is gonna know that you didn’t sleep with me this one time. Why would demons have rules about sleeping together if you don’t need or want to sleep?” She huffed before briefly looking down in frustration.
“Some of us sleep and… look!” She said while looking at me again. “If I had to learn all two hundred and fifty seven rules just in case somebody beat me, I’ll get to use my full authority to enforce them. Now, do you want me to sleep or not?” She did drive a hard bargain I couldn’t refuse. I’d just need to make sure we slept on a hammock outside so Anna doesn’t find out that me and the demoness slept together. Whenever we met the demon king, she’d likely use the info to not only blackmail me, but blackmail the demoness as well.
“Fine, fine. You can sleep with me.”