The warlock flew off while I started shooting the air. The warlock had already shown me that he could block bullets if he was given enough time to adapt the machine gun’s pattern, but nobody can adapt to omnidirectional bullet fire. The warlock finally landed down and looked up only to get hit by a blast of light from Sam. The warlock raised his sword, and the mirror-like metallic surface of the sword deflected the next blast of light away. His armour was the complete opposite of shiny. Gone was the steam-punk look he had before, and the brass and copper colours that plagued his armour. His new armour was very flatly crimson, as if a shotty coat of paint that didn’t want to stick to a wall was invading the surface of his armour.

“Why do you still fight? You really think you can stand up to someone that has a demon prince empowering them?” Said the warlock.

“I’ve stood up to an actual demon princess. You’re a downgrade.” I technically didn’t really take her down, as she just went unconscious, but still.

“You really are a fool if you think she wasn’t holding back against you.” Said the warlock before choking on his own words.

“Yea! That bitch holds back just to have a good battle.” A second voice attempted to use the half destroyed mouth of the warlock to say something. Their sheer power allowed them to actually project their voice, which must’ve meant the demon who took control was extraordinarily powerful. That and the fact that the demon commented on the demon probably meant that the demon was the demon prince of carnage.

“Silence, Demon! You’re only getting the conversation you want if you behave.” The warlock said, which made the other demon go silent for a bit. What kind of aura must he have given off to silence a demon prince?! There was no way staying silent was part of their deal.

“But it’s true!” Said the prince before shutting up.

“Now, where were we–” The warlock said as the first waves of my bullet barrage hit him. He could barely block some of the ones hitting him straight on, while his flanks and back were completely exposed. Explosions rocked him, but when the second wave came, he was prepared. He got on one foot again and began spinning, but held his sword in such a way that the pointy side faced the ground. The bullets bounced off the sword, so I made them go under the sword before hitting him. He charged forward while still spinning by tilting forward. I couldn’t afford to take the hit this time, as the demoness wasn’t here to distract him while I regenerated.

“Sam, grab my hand.” I said. Sam grabbed my hand as I asked and I flew up. The warlock would be forced to stop spinning to jump up and get me, which is exactly what he didn’t do. He fully tilted forward, almost falling before a jet of steam shot out of his chest. The pressure inside his armour must've been insane, because there was no way steam could propel him upwards by itself. My bullets, which had been harassing him without causing major damage, finally decided to explode, but only to boost him forward even more. I moved them all in between me and the warlock and created a drone to send Sam down as I prepared to tank the hit due to the explosions barely doing anything to slow him down. I would’ve asked Sam to hit him, but the warlock’s sword made any attack Sam could send out worthless.

“Hey! Warlock! Fight someone your own size!” Said the demoness as she finished off her share of adventurers. The warlock suddenly fell to the floor as if an unseen force turned him into a stone statue unable to get off the ground for even a second.

“Ż̷̧̰̪ḩ̵̺̲̮̭̮̳̫̹̹̏̐͛̔̉͒͆̒́̏̚͝i̶̙̙̱̠̲̬̼͍̊̊̀́̑͑͒̑̒͘͠l̸̛͕͍͉͉͍̞̈̔̇̏͂̿̊̈́̔ķ̸̛͈̬̖̺̖̣̦̖̙͒̆͐̐́̒̕̕i̷̢̢͕̲̖͖̥̭̎̀͒̊̽̾̕͝!” The warlock said with the voice of the demon prince. The gurgled sounds turned the ground around him white and black in patches of perfectly even squares. The air looked… upside down? No, that wasn’t right. Or was it? Maybe it was sideways? How could air look sideways?!

“Oh. Nevermind! You can handle this, robot.” The air and ground returned to normal as the warlock took control again.

“You idiot! I told you to not–” Said the warlock before his throat was taken over again.

“My guy, you promised me a conversation with Z̷̧̜̤̻̱̜͛̈́̏͆̀̂͠h̵͉̘̪̬̒̔̊̆́̋̎̃̈́̂̐͝í̸̡͉̮̯̟͈͆́̐͐̓͊̀͆l̸̨̨̢̘̻̩̖̮̙͉͎̻̺̞̃͑̃̎͌̐̉̎̂͒k̵̡̡͎̘̬͎̘̲͖̜͙̹͖̭̐i̸̖͚̮̦̬̙̗̅̅. Everything else doesn’t matter.” I tried rushing at the warlock, but he teleported me inside the ground before I could reach him. “These mortals aren’t worth a second of my time.” I could hear the warlock start walking as I climbed my way out, but then stop immediately.

“No. You yield to me, demon. I’m not stuck in here with you, you’re stuck in here with me. Our contract is very–” The warlock was cut off again.

“Haha! The contract?! You really thought demon princes are weak enough to be forced to obey a contract?! Hahahaha! We’re the dealers, buddy. You’re a good player, but the house always wins.” I gathered a fist full of bullets before making sure I was under the warlock by checking how strong the force over me was. I hit him with them, and the bullets blew up. They temporarily sent the warlock into the air before he teleported himself back onto the ground.

“Who the fuck did that? Come here dumbass.” He teleported me in front of him. “Who the fuck are you? Do you know what you just did, you mortal?” A small tentacle pried open one of the warlord’s armour’s hands, sending a big amount of pressure and steam flying out. The tentacle grabbed me before I could back down, and slammed me into the ground over and over again. “Oh, and you can’t even realise how screwed you are. Take that shitty armour off.” I was already tired by his excessive swearing, but soon felt thorns stab through the nano-chatte and make me bleed.

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“Listen here.” The tentacle yanked me along as the demoness came back to punch the warlock away. “You can talk to me all you want, but stop beating up the robot. That’s my job.” She said before cracking her knuckles.

“Z̶̧̨̨̢̯͖͕̮̤̱̞̺̰͓͒̀͐̋́̍͛͛h̷̡̜̙̯̘͉͔͛i̵͉͂͋̏̽͑͝l̴̳͎͎̘̳̜̜̇̀̄́̂̕k̸̮̝̘̤͚̱̥̹̯͕͚̤͔̏͆̃̀́̈́͑̔̕̚͠͠i̸̫̮̪̭̓̓̈̽̐̀! I knew you’d come back. You always couldn’t get enough of me.” Said the

demon.

“I didn’t come back for you. Let him go.” The warlock’s body looked at me and tilted its head.

“Why? This ridiculous mortal decided it could hurt me. Disrespect is oozing off of his body. I could even feel him trying to slither out.” Shit. I didn’t even realise it but the nano-chatte had been trying to find ways to get past his grasp, but it seemed like its grasp was so strong that I’d need to leave behind half my body if I liquified away. Parts of my body simply refused to melt. His influence was too strong.

“Oh, trust me, you’re worthy of disrespect.” I said.

“See?!” Said the demon as he flung me about.

“I like that. My punching bags need to have good back talk too. Otherwise they’re just mountains that run away.” I felt like the demoness was talking about him in some way, but he clearly didn’t notice it as he threw me towards her.

“Fine. Have your mortal punching bag. I don’t get why you don’t choose someone on your level to beat up. Like, y’know, me.” The demoness burst out laughing after he said that. “H-Hey! Stop launching you masochistic bitch!”

“You? You?! You’re beyond fixing. You fight so sluggishly and are so predictable. What? Are you going to hit me with another barrage that had less thinking put into it than you’ve put into looking good?” Said the demoness as the warlock tried hitting her with the tentacle, only for her to grab it and pull him into the air before slamming him down again and again. He yanked the tentacle back and tried punching her straight on, only for her to look up and stay flat, avoiding the tentacle by an inch. She hit the warlock straight in the face with her two feet and punched the tentacle so it let her go.

“And you’re… you’re… you’re into beastiality! Look at those animals! Humans and their creations are below us. And you still choose them over me?” Said the demon.

“A̷̛͇͙̝̩͙͆͒̄̉̎̒̀̈́̈͘͜͝i̵̤͕̩͊͋̂̋̉̕͝͝v̷̈́̉̒́͛r̸͑͊̋̏͝é̴̐͐͑̊̐z̷̢̫̪̦̬̮̞̻̪̓̌͒͒t̴̀̂͝'̴̝̪̼̰͚̼̺̻̫̱̹̞̰̽ͅų̵̬̠̈̓́̉͗̽͝n̵̛̊̿̏. Beastiality is about being too dumb to fuck. You’re so damn dumb it’d be beastiality to fuck you.” The very names of the two demons distorted space to the point where the sounds left their impact on space and sound, even long after they were said.

“N-No! It’s about animals.” Said the demon.

“You fight like an animal. What’s your point?” The warlock’s body backed away before the demoness went in for a final punch, but didn’t even need to do anything before the warlock backed away even further.

“Wait. What is this animal doing? Cutting me off?! Is he–” The demon’s voice suddenly started a lot more french. “Son of a bitch.”

“Apologies.” Said the warlock, who was fully in control. The tentacle that had grown out of his arm fell off, and he held his hands up in defeat after seeing the slaughtered adventurers. “I’ll have to keep him on a stricter leash next time.” We could hear some mechanism inside of his armour go off and then a high pitch sound akin to a steam train’s whistle went off. I could see the man in black armour show up and teleport him away before the demoness could resume her assault.

“Dammit. Why would he make a deal with that guy anyway?” Said the demoness.

“It really sounded like he liked you.” Said Christian who stopped pretending like he didn’t just hear all of that.

“Wow, thank you captain obvious. He does. His dad and mine are the closest thing two demon kings can get to friends, and the demon liege of lust would just love for two dynasties to be tied together with love, so everyone is pressuring us to get together.” Of course. Politics always ruin everything. Especially monarchical politics.

“Let me guess, he hasn’t beat you in a fight yet.” I said as the demon princess nodded.

“Yea, he hasn’t. It’s really pathetic at this point. He’s been given family hair-looms crafted by twelve dwarves and enchanted by one hundred elves only for him to still lose without getting a single hit in. It’s just our nature. Demons of pain are durable, and demons of carnage do more damage, so it all cancels out to the point where our training is the only thing that matters.” I could only imagine what a battle between them at full power would look like if the mere mention of their names distorted reality. The demoness was clearly always holding back, and the demon prince was only possessing someone, so I’ve only seen a fraction of what they could do.

“So… why do your names cause reality to distort?” Asked Sam.