The king looked at me like someone had just told him his daughter wasn’t as good at bocce ball as he thought she was. “McGee… was trying to lose?”
I smiled. “That’s right.”
The room had been fixed back up to look like a courtroom again. And of course, by a courtroom, I meant there were three shitty tables set out in front of the throne. Yeah.
The king glanced around, a huge bead of dripping from his forehead down his nose. Ugh, did everyone have huge sweat and tears here? Dehydration must have been a huge problem.
When the king realized that he would have to admit he was clueless, he finally spoke. “Does that change something?”
“Uhh… yes. Yes it does.” Did I really need to walk him through this? “If you were cheating, why would you be doing it?”
“Why, I would cheat so that I would… win the game.”
I sighed. “And why would you want to win the game?”
“Because… then I’d look like I was the best.”
“Right,” I said, holding my hands out in front of me. “So why would someone cheat to make their team lose?”
“I… don’t know.”
“Psst…” Violetta leaned in next to me. “I don’t get it either.”
Alright, enough beating around the bush. “For money,” I rose my voice. “People throw games for money.” The crowd stirred. “Do you have gambling in this world?”
“Yes, we do…” the king said. “But what does that have to do with this?”
I motioned over at the blonde blob standing at the witness stand. “Someone paid McGee to throw the game so that they could manipulate bets. If the underdog team wins, they can make a lot more money than they spent to rig it.”
“That… That would explain it!” the king gasped. Everyone in the room started whispering amongst themselves.
Lyili spoke up. “So McGee lost the game this morning on purpose. To Sir Allard I ask… What is your point?”
“My… point?” Uhh…
“This information does nothing to tell us who killed Sir Prowteg,” she continued. “In fact, you have done nothing but waste our time this entire trial.”
“Hey!” Violetta piped up. “You can’t just say that. Ryley just needs to explain.”
“Uhh…” I tried to give Violetta my best ‘help me’ look, but she didn’t seem to understand. Fuck. What the hell was I supposed to say?
“Clearly, I am correct in my assumptions. We have all been made fools of.” Lyili smiled. “Sir Allard, while the trials of your world may be rife with pop star performances and bocce ball matches, they have no place in the demon court.”
Oh god, I could practically hear the sound of every lawyer and lawmaker who had ever lived simultaneously turn over in their graves.
Lyili let out a small sigh. “Your majesty, sometimes, things are exactly as they seem. One thief enters the stadium to steal the safe while the other waits outside in the getaway car. Inside, the thief is discovered and commits a murder.” She slammed her fist down. “Contrary to what Sir Allard would have you believe, that is all there is to it!”
“That… does seem to be the case,” the king said.
“Then I would like to call for the execution to proceed.”
Violetta grabbed onto her horns and sunk to the floor. “Noooooo!”
“V-Violetta!” Minzfel screamed.
The crowd burst into an uproar, but it felt like the room had gone silent to me. This was the end of the line. I promised that I would help Suza, but I hadn’t been able to do anything for her. I wanted to leave. I couldn’t watch this happen.
“I wish… I could just evolve into a grand dragon right now,” I mumbled. “Then I could just fly out of here. And never come back.”
As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt a slimy appendage on my shoulder. In an instant, all of the noise around me rushed back like I had been struck by a wave of water.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Bro.”
“Brad…” I looked at the six-foot-tall ball of slime and eyeballs. Did he… still believe in me?
“I have to come clean about something, man,” Brad said. “I probably shouldn’t have used the word ‘evolve’. It’s more like ‘transform’.”
“…Huh?”
“Grand Dragons, bro. You were just talking about them.”
“Oh.” So much for that. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘transform’?”
“The legends say that once a Grand Slime lives long enough, they gain the ability to turn into a Grand Dragon,” Brad said. “It says they walk amongst us, living double lives. That’s why no one’s ever seen it happen before. Because their identity’s secret, bro.”
“…Neat.”
Hold on a second. Secret identity. Living a double life. Had I been thinking about this the wrong way?
“Brad, you’re awesome!” I yelled in what I assumed was his face.
“Wait, w-what?”
“Why didn’t I realize it before? I’m giving you a fuck ton of ice cream after this!”
Brad’s eyes got all shifty. “…Bro?”
I turned back to my table and welcomed a fistful of pain as I hit it. “Hold everything!”
Violetta perked up. “Ryley!”
“What is it now, Sir Allard?”
“I’ve just realized something that changes everything about this case.” I gave her a confident smile. “You see, there was a third thief at the stadium last night. The one that really stole the safe.”
“Whoo-hoo! Ryley’s back!” Yaika yelled. Fuck yeah I was.
The king leaned forward in his throne. “A… third thief?”
“Nonsense,” Lyili said, an uneasiness in her voice. “Everyone that was at the stadium has been accounted for. A third thief is out of the question!”
“No, they were there. They just had the perfect disguise,” I said. “Because the third thief there last night was Prowteg!”
“Whaaaat!?” the entire audience gasped in unison.
“M-Mr. Allard…” The king was practically falling out of his seat. “But… Mr. Prowteg was the victim.”
“That doesn’t matter,” I said. “My first mistake was assuming that the killer and the thief were the same person. When you think of it this way, everything starts to make sense.”
Lyili’s eyes started to burn. Literally, of course. “Explain yourself then!”
Sorry, Suza. I was going to have to expose your true identity.
“Mel.” I pointed at the lizard girl. “Please remove Blue Diamond’s mask.”
“W-What the heck do you think you’re doing?” Jaim shouted, kicking his feet. “You can’t do that!”
“It’s okay,” Suza said, her voice calm and soothing. “Mr. Allard… needs our help if he’s going to win this for us. Go ahead. Take it off.”
Everyone watched in dead silence as Mel slid the blue masquerade mask off. Honestly though, why didn’t they see this coming?
“Oh my word…” the king gasped. “It’s Suza!” The room exploded into chaos.
“O-Of course.” Lyili held onto her table. “Why didn’t I realize it before?” Yeah. Why didn’t you?
“Mr. Allard is right!” Suza shouted, silencing the room. “I was going to help Prowteg steal the safe!”
“That… That traitor!” Coach yelled. “I should have never let him in on this…”
“Mr. Coach,” the king cut him off. “What did I say about interrupting this trial again?”
“I’m… sorry, your majesty.” Coach sunk back into his seat. “It won’t happen again.”
I gave a thumbs up to the king. It was time to finish this. “Suza, why did Prowteg ask you for help?”
“After a few visits to the orphanage, he confided in me that he had been throwing games for money, and that the proof was in Mr. Coach’s safe,” she continued. “So I asked him if he wanted me to get it for him.”
“What did he want it for?”
“He said he wanted to go public with it. He couldn’t just sit by while his coach robbed his players of all their hard work just to fill his pockets,” Suza’s voice didn’t waver. “He told me… he loved bocce too much for that.”
“I knew it.” Violetta started to sniffle. “I knew Prowteg wouldn’t just let McGee and coach Coach cheat like that!”
“So what was your plan?” I asked.
“It was simple. He would stay late to practice, and after the guard had already made his rounds, he would bring the safe out to my car using one of the carts in the storage room.”
“And what time was that supposed to be?”
“He was supposed to be out at 8:30 so that we could get it done before the stadium closed.” Suza’s eyes drifted down. “He didn’t show up, so I figured something must have gone wrong. I left around 9:10.”
I looked over at the brat. “Did you know that Jaim had stowed away?”
“No.” She glared over at him too. “I had no idea.”
“And there you have it, your majesty.” I turned back to the throne. “Prowteg was killed not because he discovered the thief stealing the safe, but because he was the thief.”
“Incredible…” The king put his hand on his chin. “Then… who killed him?”
“There were only two others that knew about the cheating,” I said. “We’ve already established that Coach wasn’t there last night, so that only leave one suspect left. McGee!”
“W-What?” McGee’s eyes went wide. “Like, I didn’t do it!”
“Stop right there, Sir Allard,” Lyili yelled. “Don’t you see you’ve fallen into your own trap?”
“Excuse me?” Uh-oh, now I was starting to sound like Lyili.
Lyili leaned over her table, her breasts hanging down. Still hot. “Tell me, who was it that won your little bocce game?”
“Oh, I know this one.” Yaika hopped up and down. “McGee did.”
“That’s correct, Princess.” Lyili smiled. “And I seem to remember a certain someone promising that they’d stop accusing McGee of murder if he won. And he did.”
Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I had been so caught up in the fact that I proved he had been cheating to lose, I had forgotten that I needed to win the stupid game too.
“It seems we’ve reached a stalemate then, haven’t we?” Lyili smiled. “But then again, maybe he haven’t. Unlike you, I’m not restricted from continuing to accuse our two little thieves of murder.”
She was right. What had I done?
Suddenly, Violetta slammed her hands down. “If Ryley can’t accuse McGee… then I will!”
“Madam Violetta!?”
I looked into Violetta’s green eyes. “You’re… a genius.” Never thought I’d say that.
She gave me a bright smile. “We’re partners, remember?”
“N-No, I didn’t do it!” McGee started melting again. “Why won’t anyone believe me?”
“McGee!” a voice cut through the air. “I believe you!” Who the hell was that?
It was silent as a man with perfectly parted black hair stood up from his seat. He pushed his glasses up with one finger, walking over to the stand.
“Mr. Sidkik, what is the meaning of this?” the king asked. “I hope you don’t intend to obstruct this trial too.”
“Not at all, your majesty,” Sidkik said. “I intend to put an end to it.”
Put… an end to it?
“McGee didn’t kill Prowteg.” A tear ran down Sidkik’s cheek. “I did.”