Rehearsals for the play go on.
“I guess maybe cheerleaders can fall in love with nerds!” Cat kisses Robbie.
“And bad boys!” Trina says. She tries to kiss Beck but he moves away.
“And bad girls.” Tori and Jade don’t look at each other.
“Cut!” Mabel says.
“There is no way Tori and I are going to kiss.”
“I already said you two didn’t have to, but you two need to look like you’re in love. Look at the other couples here: a cheerleader who’s on a study date with a goth girl and they find out they both love poetry, a girl who’s afraid to get kicked out of the cheerleading squad with a nerd to help her with a test. And a goth loner boy and a cheerleader trying to make him see school spirit, what’s not to love?”
“This.” Jade says.
“This is why I need you all to go on a date.” Sikowitz says.
“Okay. There’s no way Tori and I are going to act like we’re in love. Also, what’s with all of the clichés?”
“We’ve done it before, Jade.”
“Oh! So you actually want to kiss me, you sick girl lover!”
“Jade, don’t you think you should tell Tori something?”
“No, Sikowitz!”
“Jade, what did you tell the guidance counselor and me?”
“No!”
“What’s going on?” Tori asks.
“Nothing. This play is stupid and the lines suck.”
“What?” Mabel asks.
“Nothing. I said I love the play and I like being a main character.”
“Look at Cat and Robbie. They’re trying to get in character. Robbie’s helping Cat with math homework.” Mabel points at them
“No. Cat’s just not that smart. Cat, what are you and Robbie doing?”
“Jade, don’t be mean!” Tori says.
“Going over lines. Also, Robbie’s helping me with homework.”
“You could’ve lied for me, Cat.” Tori says.
“I rest my case.” Jade says.
“Cat, Robbie, show them.” Sikowitz says.
“Start at the point where you feel hopelessly stupid, Cat.”
“That’s every day for her.” Jade says.
“Be nice!” Tori says.
“Action!”
“I can’t do this! I’m just a ditzy airhead! I’m stupid!”
“You know, you don’t have to be stupid. Your brain is the same size as everyone else’s. Just keep trying!”
“No one has ever talked to me like that before. Everyone else just gives up on me.”
Jade looks at Tori. No! Stop looking at her! It’s not my fault she keeps helping me. She’s just like that. But … but it does make me feel good.
“Don’t think too much. Well, you still have to think.”
“You’re funny.”
“Look at the tangent line and radius as different parts of a triangle, and solve for the other line. You can do it!”
Cat writes something down. “Is this right?”
“You did it!”
“Yay! I feel so smart! ”
They hug.
“So … do you have a girlfriend?”
“What? Um … No.”
“Do you … want one?”
They slowly lean in and kiss.
“And cut. See. Just like that.” Mabel says.
Cat and Robbie continue kissing.
Just like that. Tori and I kiss … NO! NO! I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!
“Cat, Robbie, you two can stop kissing.” Mabel says.
They let go of each other. “We know.” They continue kissing.
“See that? That’s dedication. They even talked simultaneously. Beck, Trina, Start from this part.” She goes up to them and points at the script. “Action!”
“You could use some school spirit!”
“You don’t know what it’s like. You and your sister are always happy. My sister and I have a horrible family life.”
“You know what happens when my sister and I feel down?”
“You cheer?”
“We talk to each other.”
Beck looks away. “I want to act, but my friends might think I’m weird and my dad thinks acting is for weak men. My mom also agrees with him. They say they can’t have another gay child, so they yell anytime I talk about acting. They don’t know what I do after school. And to keep this guise up, I just act like a loner.”
“Do you want a hug?”
“Sure.”
They hug.
“Maybe when people get to know the real you, they can see a cute boy.”
“You know, you’re so nice to me. I haven’t met a girl who wasn’t so intimidated by me.”
“I think standoffish guys are cute. Everyone expects cheerleaders to go after the athletes. I don’t care about them. They’re all the same. But some people like you deserve attention” They hold hands. Trina sneaks in a kiss on his cheek.
“Good, but not great. Tori, Jade, you two are up.”
“I got to kiss him!”
“It was supposed to be optional.” Beck says.
Tori and Jade go up.
This play is still stupid, but I need to be nice to Tori to stay in a play.
“We’ll start with Tori.”
“Hey, why are you sitting by yourself? You’re missing the pep rally.”
“Because school spirit sucks.”
“You know, there’s nothing wrong with pep rallies.”
“Yeah? Well, they suck. This whole school sucks.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m wrong!”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know how hard it is to be afraid that people are gonna look at you differently?”
“Maybe you just need some cheer to—“
“I’m a lesbian! There! I said it!”
Tori looks down.
“Are you gonna tell all of your cheerleader friends?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I am, too.”
“But you’re a cheerleader and you’re dating one of the athletes.”
“I hang out with them because they expect me to. It’s all fake.”
“Well, what’s your type?”
“Lonely girls who need someone.”
“Stop.” Sikowitz says.
“Come on!” Jade says.
“No. He’s right. I don’t feel it.” Mabel gets up from her chair. “Trina reeks of desperation and Beck is chill. That works out. Cat and Robbie are a couple and that worked out.”
“You two will go on a date like the others.”
I’d call this play stupid again, but then I’d get screwed over and lose my spot with Tori. Wait! I mean … I’ll lose my spot as a main character. Yeah. I’m still right. This play is stupid. I bet Tori’s thinking that.
This play’s stupid. Why’s Jade looking at me? “Why are you looking at me?”
“Why can’t I?”
“And that’s why you two need to go on a date.” Sikowitz says.
“Let’s try the other couple.” Mabel says.
Two girls come up.
“Alright. Action!”
“Wait. You like older poetry, too?”
“You think just because I’m a cheerleader that I don’t understand the complexities of poetry from centuries ago? I like Edgar Allen Poe and Emily Dickinson to name a couple.”
“Oh. Well, I’m sorry for assuming.”
“It’s okay.”
“So, where are your parents? My mom works. My dad’s not involved, so I have to take care of my younger brother.”
“My dad’s dead, so if you thought I was a rich daddy’s girl, you’re wrong. My mom doesn’t stay long because she works too much.”
“I’m sorry for assuming.”
“I’m sorry for being mean.”
“Are you still dating the captain of the football team?”
“No. I just need people to think that.”
“Have you tried being with a girl?”
“No. Why are you asking? Are you suddenly into cheerleaders?”
“I just think that maybe, we got off on the wrong foot. You don’t have to try anything. It’s just that you’re faking being with—“
“Yes. I’m into girls. I’m scared you’ll tell.”
“Who do you think I’ll tell? I’m not that popular.”
“Sorry.”
“So … do you want to kiss me?”
“Um … sure.”
They lean in and kiss.
“Perfect! Why can’t Jade and Tori be like Charlotte and Scarlet?”
“Their names remind me of spiders.” Jade says.
“Scarlet’s Web.” Tori says.
“Oh.”
“And maybe some other book called Charlotte’s Web.”
“Oh! So everyone has to have a web, Tori‽”
“Jade, what’s wrong with you‽”
“I bet you want us to have a web! I bet Jade and Tori’s Web sounds good to you! You want me to give you hickeys! You just want me to suck you and shamelessly moan my name from excitement!”
“Wait. What?”
Fuck! “Nothing!”
After rehearsals, Beck offers Tori a ride over to his trailer to hang out.
“Thanks for this Beck.”
“You didn’t deserve that. I don’t know what her problem is. I could’ve sworn that you two settled things.”
“Yeah. No kidding. What’s her deal? I’ve spent so much time trying to be nice to her, and for what? I feel bad for you for dating her.”
Beck then hugs her. But suddenly, he kisses her.
“I’m sorry. I just—“
Tori kisses him back. They keep going. They take their shirts off and then Tori suddenly stops.
“Were we going too fast? Is it because you got wet too fast?”
“No. Wait. What?” She checks her pants. “Dammit! No. I mean, this just doesn’t feel right. Beck, you’re such a nice and attractive guy, but I never actively wanted to be with you. I just wanted to be your friend. I mean, this definitely felt good; but I think I was only ever into the idea of being with you to spite Jade. And I still kind of want to be her friend.”
“I honestly don’t know why I was dating her.”
“You two weren’t good for each other.”
They both go quiet and put their clothes back on.
“Let me take you home.”
“You know, Trina really does like you. Think about that for a while. She may be weird, but it’s a good weird. Plus, she’s not boring.”
Beck looks at Tori.
“I was joking.”
“You know, if Trina wasn’t so crazy then maybe I’d consider dating her. A little crazy is fine. You know? She isn’t boring, so that’s good.”
“Beck, I already have to go on another date with Jade. I don’t need another reason to be sick. But I hope the date with you two goes well.”
“All I’m saying is I’d date both of you. You two are alike except she’s extra. It’s a nice extra.”
Tori laughs. “Bye!”
“But I’d prefer you though.”
They hug and Tori gives him a small kiss. “Don’t think too much about that.” She enters her home.
“What were you doing?”
“Being a home wrecker, Trina.”
“Wait. What?”
“Nothing.” Tori goes to the kitchen to get something to eat.
“Mom and Dad are home asleep.”
“Okay.”
“Oh. And just know, if Jade ever messes with you again, I will end her.”
“She’ll change.”
An hour passes and then they go to sleep. Tori drifts off into a dream.
Don’t be afraid, Tori.
Who’s there?
It’s me. I love you so much, Tori.
Dream Tori sees a glowing Jade.
I have always loved you.
Jade?
Yes, Tori. Closer. Closer, Tori. I have always loved you more than a friend.
Really?
Yes. You’re a great influence and you help me so much! I love you!
They lean in and pucker up, but Tori wakes up screaming and panting and Trina goes into her room.
“What happened‽ Also, why were you saying Jade’s name?”
“Bad dream.”
“Oh. Don’t scare me like that. Go back to bed.”
Tori checks herself and sees that her panties are slightly wet and she groans. “Why would I have a dream like that with her in it? And why were we about to kiss?” She groans and goes back to sleep.
In Jade’s room, Jade’s asleep having a dream. It’s dark and empty and there is nobody but her.
It’s okay, Jade.
Who and where the fuck are you and why do you know my name?
You know who I am. I love you. I always will, Jade.
Dream Jade sees a glowing Tori.
Why are you here? She pulls out her scissors.
Why don’t you kiss me, Jade? You know you want to.
Why would I ever—
Nobody’s here to see.
Oh. Okay.
Her scissors turn into a bouquet. Dream Jade shrugs.
Are those for me?
They can be, Tori.
She leans in and puckers up.
That’s right, Jade. I love you. You’re so perfect and pretty.
They move in closer with their lips puckered. Jade wakes up screaming and panting and her younger brother knocks on her door but doesn’t enter.
“Jade, are you still alive? Please open the door. Who’s Tori?”
“Fuck.” Jade whispers to herself. Damn! I’m wet! “I’m fine. Go back to bed Max.”
“Okay.”
“I can’t let her know how I feel when I’m such a shitty person.” Why don’t I just be nice? No. Tori has to make me be nice. Wait. Ugh! Why did I say that like that?
It’s Saturday afternoon Tori and her family are in the living room. Tori flips through channels. Drake & Josh is on. Josh and Mindy kiss. Tori changes the channel again and sees more kissing.
“Why does everyone have to kiss?”
The doorbell rings and David and Holly go to answer. Beck is at the front door.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Vega. My name is Beck Oliver and I will be your daughter’s boyfriend for a play that is happening at Hollywood Arts. In order to make things more authentic, we have to pretend to be an actual couple. So I am here to introduce myself.”
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
“We know your name already.” David says
“Yeah, but we have to do this.”
“Which one?” Holly asks.
“Trina.”
David and Holly look at each other.
“David.” Their father says while extending a hand to shake.
“Holly.” Their mother does the same.
“We’re sorry.” They both say in unison.
“Oh look! It’s my boyfriend, Beck!” Trina runs up to him and kisses him on the lips.
“This is just perfect! Ugh!” Jade slams the car door.
“Crap! I forgot!” Beck and Tori say in unison.
“What’s happening? Who’s there?” Holly asks.
Jade comes in and sighs. “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Vega. My name is Jade West and I will be your daughter’s GIRLFRIEND for a play that is happening at Hollywood Arts.”
David and Holly look at Jade and back at Tori.
“Isn’t this the girl who bullied you?” David asks.
“The girl that you two fought?” Holly asks Tori and Trina.
Beck looks at Jade. She’s screwed.
Trina smiles. “Yes, Mom and POLICE OFFICER Dad. This demon is the girl who has been bullying my sweet sister, our sweet Tori.”
“How come you four are paired up like this?” Holly asks.
“You don’t look like you would make a good couple.” David says.
“The play is about opposites attracting. It’s called Opposites Attract.” Tori says.
“And it’s still a dumb name.” Jade says.
“Oh! I get it. This is probably some punishment for them.” Holly says.
“No. It’s for a play that we auditioned for.” Tori says.
“I almost thought you and Jade were lesbians.” David replies.
“But we’ve only dated boys, Dad.”
“Honey, we love you, but you have bad luck with boys. We just thought you’d switch one of these days.” Holly says.
“And you’ve had crushes on bad boys. Remember some of the juveniles I had to watch when you two were younger? The ones I showed you two to scare you into not being bad? You totally kept staring at them. Even the girls. Jade looks like she’s been in jail before high school. I mean, look at her. She’s wearing all black, she has piercings, and I see some tattoos on her. I bet she likes knives or something like that.”
“Um …” Jade looks down. “I like scissors.”
Holly and David laugh.
“What’s funny?” Tori and Trina ask.
“A girl in a play dating another girl who likes scissors?” Holly starts to laugh.
David calms down from laughing. “Oh. Right. Beck, Jade, What do you two do at Hollywood Arts.”
“Act, model, and sing.” Beck says.
“Sing, scriptwriting, act, movie and play production.” Jade says.
“I’m sorry. It’s still funny how Tori ended up with Jade.” Holly says.
“You think I enjoy this‽ Why would I want to be with someone who pours coffee on me and humiliates me on my first day of school because I was being nice to her boyfriend‽ Why would I want to be with someone who tried to kill me with bush daisies‽ Why would I want to be with someone who stole my blood, made me donate more than necessary, and almost made me die‽ Why would I want to date someone who promised she’d take me to school only to drive me to the middle of nowhere and possibly kill me‽”
“Yeah. She almost killed our sweet Tori multiple times. Mother, Father, how does that make you feel?”
“Jade, can we go to the backyard with you?” David asks.
Jade looks down and goes to the backyard.
“Tori, you too.” Holly says.
“Dammit! Why‽” Tori groans and follows.
“I expect to see her in handcuffs when this is over!” Trina starts to kiss Beck.
“Jade, why would you attempt to kill our daughter and make her life miserable?”
“You know I’m a cop, right?”
“Yes.” Jade looks down.
“Tori, why didn’t you tell your father these things?”
“Why would you defend someone who almost killed you multiple times? As a cop, I taught you and Trina about the types of bad people out there and who not to be friends with.”
“I have other friends. Jade just happens to be in that group. She scares everyone else, but I just think Jade needs the right friends. I think she needs me.”
Holly sighs. “You’re too forgiving, Tori.”
“You promise not to try to kill or scare our daughter again? I will arrest you!”
“I promise. And I’m sorry Mr. Vega.”
“Officer Vega.”
“I’m sorry Officer Vega.”
“Tori, do you honestly think you can trust her?” David asks.
She nods.
“That’s not enough of an answer.” David says.
Tori sighs “I can trust her. She has changed a bit.”
“A bit?” David says.
“I’m doing better. We’ve helped each other before.” Jade says.
“Okay. Just don’t kill my daughter. Imagine how your mother would feel if she found out Tori or Trina did those things to you. What if they killed you during that fight? That’s what I’m feeling right now.”
“I’m sorry Mrs. Vega.”
The four walk back inside and see Trina kissing Beck.
“Oh. Don’t mind me. Jade’s utter humiliation gave me a rush!” She gives Beck one last kiss and they leave in Beck’s Car. Once Trina and Beck are at his parents’ house, Trina gets out of the car along with Beck. He opens the door and his parents are inside.
“Hey. This is Trina. She’s—“
“His girlfriend!” Trina interrupts. “His oh so loving GIRLFRIEND!”
“Come in.” They say.
“I’m Noah.”
“I’m Olivia.”
“It’s for a play. We have to date beforehand to build chemistry.” Beck explains.
“You two made a lovely boy!”
“What’s Trina like?” Noah asks
“Oh, I love acting, dancing, and singing!”
“Beck, this is such an upgrade from Jade.” Olivia says.
“And she’s pretty funny.” Noah says.
Beck lets out a sigh of relief.
Meanwhile, Tori and Jade are driving in Jade’s car.
“Alright. We’re going to meet my mom and her husband first and then my dad and his wife second.”
“Good. Your dad’s kind of cold.”
“We’re here.” Jade sighs and opens the door. Her mother is at the front door. “Hi, Mom. This is my stupid girlfriend and we’re supposed to be in a stupid play about opposites attracting or something. Just look at her stupid, pretty face.”
“Stupid? Really?” Tori says. Wait. Pretty?
Damn. Why did I just say that?
“I’m sorry about my daughter. I’m Sapphire. Come in.”
“Oh, is that a friend? Hi.” Jade’s stepfather says. “Steven.”
“Tori.” Tori extends her hand to shake.
“My girlfriend.” Jade says.
“Jade, stop being mean for once.” Sapphire says.
“Who’s here?” Jade’s younger brother comes downstairs. “Who’s she?”
“Maxwell, you’re going with your sister.” Sapphire says.
“Tori.” Tori then extends a hand to shake.
“Max.” They shake hands. “Oh. The name of the girl in Jade’s d—“
Jade covers his mouth. “Say nothing and I’ll buy you something on the way to Dad’s.”
Max nods.
“Wait. What?”
“He said nothing, Tori!”
“Don’t forget to take Max to your father’s place.” Sapphire says.
Jade walks out the door.
“You seem nice.” Max says.
“Thanks.” Tori replies.
“I’m sorry about my sister.”
“I’m sorry she’s your sister”
Jade honks the car horn.
“Nice meeting you all!” She takes Max’s hand and walks out the door.
“I feel bad for Tori.” The two parents say.
Tori and Max sit in the back.
“What’s wrong with the front seat?” Jade asks.
“Nothing. I just want to sit next to Max and talk to him so I can get to know him.”
“Jade, I’m hungry.”
“What’s wrong with sitting next to me, Tori?”
“Why are you getting defensive? I thought you didn’t like me.”
“But why are you two girlfriends?”
“It’s for a play we have to do at school.” Tori says.
“She’s nice, Jade. I’m still hungry.”
“Yes, she’s a big ball of sunshine.” Jade says in a southern belle accent.
“I don’t talk like that!”
“Are you this mean to everyone? Also, can we get food?”
“Yes. She is.”
“You should get her in trouble.”
“Yeah! I could tell Sikowitz right now, and—“
“Don’t you dare!”
“Then be nice, Jade.” Tori replies.
“Yeah! Finally! Someone bold enough to defy Jade!”
“My dad gave Trina and me a lot of money for this date. He’s a cop. They make good money.”
“Hear that? He’s a cop.”
“I know, dude. I got scared straight earlier.”
“So there’s still enough for our ‘date’ tonight. So, Max, where do you want to eat?”
“I’m stuck between tacos and burgers.”
“Why not both?”
“No!”
“He’s a growing boy.”
“I’m a growing boy.”
“But you’re suggesting I waste my time going to two places?”
“I can cover the money.”
“No!”
“Shall I bring back the ‘phone-in-face’ bit? I’ll just tell them you’re not play material.”
“No!”
Tori starts typing. “Read the phone, Jade! Read the phone!”
“Fine! Sikowitz and Mabel aren’t dropping me.”
After eating, they finally arrive at Max and Jade’s father’s house. Mr. West opens the door along with his new wife.
“Hey Maxwell! Good to see you, Son! Jade.”
“Father.” Jade says.
“You brought Tori! Tori, it’s nice to see you again! Being a good friend to my daughter?”
“Yes, Mr. West. Hi Mrs. West.”
“Hello, Tori! You can call me Ruby.”
They step inside.
“She’s not my friend.”
“Jade, she helped you with a play and helped you and me bond a little better. When are you going to admit that you have a friend?” Roy asks
“When are you going to make a good breakfast?”
“Oh, she has more than just me. Cat, André, Robbie, Beck, Trina.”
“Nobody likes a liar, Tori. Your talentless sister, Trina, doesn’t count.” Wait. I couldn’t annoy my mom and stepdad, so maybe my stepmom and dad. “Tori and I are dating.”
“For a play!”
“And I’m going to play kissy face with her!”
“Jade, stop.” Ruby pleads.
“Hmm. Let me think about it. No. I’m going to my room to freshen up.”
“We’re sorry.” Ruby says.
“I’m not.” Jade leaves.
The pet dog comes.
“Aw! A cute dog!” Tori pets the dog.
“More like a yappy dog. Go ahead and touch the dog. I bet you like it.” Stupid dog. Hogging all of the attention. Jade continues to glare.
“What’s wrong, Jade?”
“You’re a strawberry blonde! It’s weird that your hair looks like two colors combined into one!”
“What?”
“And your dog is stealing all of the attention!”
“But you just … Forget it. Your dad and brother always told me you were confusing. Wait. It sounds like you have a cru—”
“DOG BAD!”
“She didn’t mean it.” Tori says to the dog. She kisses the dog.
I bet you like those kisses. Is a dog that much better than me? Wait! What am I saying‽
“Tori, a word?” Roy says.
“Okay.”
“Is Jade blackmailing you?”
“No. We have to do this for a play.”
“Is she trying to, you know, change you?”
“Change me?”
“You met Sapphire, right?”
“Yes.”
“See, Jade’s biological mother and I still communicate from time to time. Max wakes up scared because he hears her say your name in her sleep. Her mannerisms have also changed. I have this suspicion that she might be a lesbian, but she’s dated boys before.”
“Bi?”
“Did you say buy like purchase or bye like goodbye?”
“Um, biromantic and/or bisexual.”
“Oh. Another non-hetero label. Sure. Whatever the word is for them. I just wouldn’t want her to make you gay or anything. A performing arts school is a breeding ground for those people. Now I don’t think someone made her gay, or a lesbian, or bisexual, or whatever it’s called, but I know how liberal my daughter is. I just feel it. She’s probably one of them. I’m afraid she might do something to you. I also don’t want her influencing or confusing her brother.”
“Oh. It’s okay. She doesn’t even like me, so this is why we’re on this date for this play in order to get along better. It’s not romantic.”
“You’ve done this once before. Obviously, it didn’t work.”
“Yeah. But she only hates me less. I think. I don’t know with her.”
“Well, don’t let her change you. She’s a complex woman, but don’t let her change you.”
Jade comes out from her room in a different shirt.
“Ready, Jade?”
“I’m the one driving, Tori.”
“Hey. You’re Jade, your mom’s Sapphire, your stepmom’s Ruby, who else has a gem name?”
“My middle name is Jasper.” Max says.
“Sapphire and I had to compromise. I wanted a Maxwell and she wanted a gemstone.”
Wait. These are the same clothes from that one time at Nozu. Jade’s wearing the same clothes.
“Where do we go first?” Jade asks.
“Nozu.” Tori replies.
“We’re only going there because I want to go there. Why did you bring a change of clothes? Is it because we happen to have on the same clothes as the last time?” Wait. Why did I change into this?
“First, We’re going there to make up for the last time. Second, wouldn’t it be weird that you have a change of clothes too? I see what’s in your bag. Why are you questioning me?”
“Fair point.”
“Your hair also looks the same.”
“Oh! So you do want to kiss me!”
“What? Where is this coming from?”
“Whatever. Hey, what color are your spare clothes?”
“They just happen to be black, white, and gray.”
“So you are trying to—“
“I’m not trying to copy you.”
“I bet you’re—“
“I’m not trying to get in your mind and trick you into kissing me. You’re just being weird.”
Tori and Jade are now at Nozu along with Sikowitz.
“This time I won’t enlist Sinjin and Burf to spy on you two; but if things don’t go well on this date, Tori will still be in the play. Jade, your understudy will be in your place. Tori, the moment you feel like this isn’t going anywhere good, text me. Jade, don’t be a gank. Have a good date. I am off.”
“What makes you think it’ll be my fault?”
“It inevitably will be your fault.” He leaves.
“Do you want anything? My dad gave me money.”
“I don’t need your cop money.”
“Fine.” Tori then places an order. “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Kissing my boyfriend? Taking up my spots in musicals and plays? Making Beck fall in love with you? Ruining my life in Hollywood Arts?”
“Okay! That’s enough! The first one only happened because I was trying to be nice to Beck after spilling coffee on his shirt and then you had to be a fucking possessive bitch about it! I kissed Beck, but to get back at you for spilling coffee on me! My roles were given to me because of my talent! Also, Beck obviously would rather have a girlfriend who is nicer than you! I truly don’t know what I genuinely did to deserve this from you in the first place!”
“Well if—“
“Even after I show you kindness, you still try to kill me, hurt me, and find any way to be mean to not only me, but other people and it’s so fucking frustrating! You still hold onto this one-sided grudge against me that I don’t even care about! As I told you while cleaning up the food after taking the fall from the fight scene incident that you clearly faked, I don’t want to deal with this! I have to see you every day because you just so happen to associate yourself with the people I became friends with!”
“You’re mad.” Jade says with a smile.
“I know I am! Don’t make me hurt you!”
She can throw a punch. “Fine. Did you get it all out? People are staring.”
“Yes.”
“Well, if you weren’t so infuriating, this wouldn’t happen.”
“You know, I got so much of it out that I feel tempted to take out my phone and text Sikowitz that this isn’t going well and then I’ll actually become the bitch that you think I am at Hollywood Arts!”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I would. Not only can I ruin this chance for you, but I can use my popularity and charm to ruin anything else for you. I will reconsider it if you can finally be nicer to not only me, but other people at school because nobody needs a stuck-up bitch! Got it‽”
“Okay. Fine. I’ll stop.”
“Good. Now I’m trying to actually be nice. So if you want something, I will pay for it. Are we on the same page?”
“Sure. I’ll order something.”
“Good.”
Jade places an order and then there’s silence.
“And another thing!”
“What‽”
“I don’t understand how you can simultaneously ask me for help and be such a jealous piece of shit person! There’s no way that four of the prettiest girls in the school can always talk to each other and see each other and one of them, possibly the prettiest of them all, always has to be so nasty and mean to everyone in this school because of her own insecurities from her family life that carry on into her school life!”
It gets quiet.
“Wait. You weren’t just saying that last time we were forced to date? You really think I’m pretty?”
“Yeah.” Tori says softly.
“Am I … am I prettier than someone like Alyssa Vaughn?”
“I’d never compare two girls because we shouldn’t do that.”
“Oh.”
“But just be a nicer person, Jade. Right now, if I would pick between you or Alyssa, I’d date Alyssa even though I don’t know much about her.”
“Hypothetically, if I were nicer?”
“I would pick you because I know you more.”
Their food arrives and they both just look at it for a while.
“Well, let’s eat.” Tori takes a bite.
Jade starts eating and then stops. I messed up. What have I been doing? “Hey.”
“What?”
“Tori, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this.”
“How do you not know?”
“I don’t know. But I know you don’t deserve this.”
“What’s with the sudden switch in tone?”
“I don’t know. I think the reason why I act this way is because I’m angry and jealous of everything you have. Charm, a solid family, happiness, all of that. But when I look back, you’re so nice to me.”
“Well, even as a shitty person, you deserve nice people in your life.”
“And … and I think that I …”
“Yes?”
“I think I …” Jade sighs. “I think I—”
“Uh-oh! Babe sandwich part 2!”
Tori and Jade recognize the familiar voices. “Oh no!” They say.
“Oh yeah!” Chad and Alan say, sitting next to them. They then fist bump. “Badoink!”
Beck and Trina sit in Beck’s car.
“So Beck, what do you want to do? I’ll do anything you want.” She then strokes his face.
“Let’s take this slow. Start with getting to know each other. What do you like?”
“You!”
“Of course you do, Trina.”
“What do you like, Beck?” She starts stroking his face.
“Well, I have things called hobbies. I enjoy spending time with friends and I actually do things like act. But aside from that, I enjoy washing and detailing my car.”
“Oh, well, I like singing, acting, and being pretty.”
“You’re good at one of those things.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment!”
“Okay.”
“Wait. Which one?”
“Being pretty.”
Trina smiles. “My dad gave me money to do stuff! Are you hungry? We’ll go wherever you want! Just say it!”
“Let’s start with maybe doing something that doesn’t cost money. Then, when we’re hungry, we get something to eat. We can go for a stroll in a park or something, then when we eat. You get to pick. I don’t mind where. Sound good?”
“Um … yes?”
“Good, let’s go to the nearest park. We can walk and talk about things that aren’t us.”
Back at Nozu, Jade and Tori still deal with Alan and Chad.
“Jade, intimidate them. Do something.”
Jade pulls out her scissors. “You guys want to stay intact?”
“Look, Alan! she’s got scissors!”
“Well Chad, I guess I gotta throw rock!”
“BOOM!” They both say while fist-bumping.
“Jade, please put those down. We’re on a date.”
“Oh no! Now I’ll never become a surgeon, Tori.”
“My dad’s a cop, guys.”
“NICE!” They say. They try to give her a high five, but she leaves them hanging.
“Hey, guys. My date and I have to use the restroom. Right, Jade?”
“Yeah. Totally.”
They quickly finish their food and Tori grabs Jade’s hand and walks into the restroom.
“I don’t need you to save me all the fucking time, Tori.”
“Do we really have the time for this grudge you have with me? I want them to leave us alone as much as you do.”
“Alright then. Do you have any plans?”
“Well …”
“Out with it.”
“This was my plan.”
“Great plan.”
“Fuck off, Jade! You seriously don’t know how to be nice! Also, I don’t see you making any plans!”
“My apologies, Princess Tori.”
“We could try singing ‘Take a Hint’ again.”
“And then what? Have them dance along like idiots and follow us to our school play like last time?”
“Dammit! I ask you to be nice, you show some semblance of being nice, then this happens and you’re back to your old self! I’m telling Sikowitz—”
“No! Please! I’m sorry!”
Tori sighs. “Apology accepted. What now?”
“Actually, I think I have an idea. Maybe they really need a hint instead of some songy-song action. Just follow my lead.”
“So what? Are we going to act for them this time?”
“Something like that. Just follow my lead, Tori. Don’t mess up.” Why am I talking like this? She’ll never want to do this.
“Why are you still talking to me like this‽ You know what‽ I’m done! Enjoy watching the play in the seats!” Tori pulls out her phone.
See what happens, Stupid? “No! No! Please! You’re a great actress! I can depend on you! You don’t mess up!”
Tori sighs and puts her phone back in her purse. “Are you gonna embarrass me, Jade?”
“Come on, Tori. What do you want from me? I said I was sorry.”
“That’s not enough. I want proof that you are a changed woman.”
“Maybe this will be the proof you need.”
“Positive?”
“What? Do you need a pinky promise too?”
“Maybe.”
Jade rolls her eyes and they link pinkies. “Do you have a breath mint, Tori? I have some if you need some. And it’s for this plan.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not trying to say your breath stinks. It’s all for this plan.”
They both take the breath mints. “What kind of plan is this? You have some crazy plans, so I don’t know what to expect.”
“Just trust me.”
“I need to be convinced enough to trust you.”
“What else? Another pinky promise? A hug?”
“Maybe a hug.”
“Fine.”
They hug.
“I’m really sorry, Tori. Now let’s—”
“Just a little longer.”
“Sure.”
“I just wanted to be friends.” She starts to cry.
“I know. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry.”
“That makes me want to cry more!” Tori starts sobbing.
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“You’re so frustrating! I fucking hate you!” Tori starts sniffling.
“Let’s just calm down.”
Back at the table, Chad and Alan talk to each other until Tori and Jade come back holding hands.
“Hey, I’ll put my scissors down. Right now my girlfriend and I would like to have some alone time.”
“Yeah. So if you don’t mind, can we go back to doing girlfriend things? We don’t need two other boys ruining our night.”
“Yeah. We haven’t even started kissing, yet.” Jade says
“Yeah! Wait. Wha—”
Jade grabs Tori and kisses her. “We need our girl time and I love her so much!” She continues kissing Tori until Tori sees that they left.
“Good plan. Let’s go somewhere else. That kiss was very believable.”
“Believable?”
“Yeah. That was like a stage kiss, right? Except I think you messed up and our lips touched. Plus, you moaned a little and I think we kissed too long.”
Fuck!
“But honestly, your acting is getting better! I’m about to change into the spare clothes I brought.” Tori hugs Jade. “Be a better person.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Well, maybe don’t be sorry this time. It was a good plan, Jade.” Tori goes to the restroom.
“Yeah. Good plan, Jade.” Jade goes to the restroom to change. Fuck! What did I just do‽
They end up going to Karaoke Dokie in their gray clothes. Beck and Trina are there as well. Tori and Jade get off the stage after singing.
“How have you been treating my sister?”
“We’re having a good time.”
“What are your plans with my sister?”
“To have a good time, Trina.”
“Trina, she didn’t do anything bad.” She did something, though.
“And it better stay that way!”
“You two looked like you enjoyed yourselves when you sang together.” Beck says.
“Why are you two wearing similar colored clothes?”
“Coincidence!” The two say.
“Well, fine. You two sang romantic duets. I guess you two were building chemistry for the play. But don’t you dare hurt my sister! Hey! Beck and I should sing duets!”
“I don’t think—“
“Beck, please do this. I’m scared of Trina.” Jade says.
Beck and Trina go up to the stage.
“I liked singing with you, Jade. We sing well together.”
“Thank you. I loved—I liked singing with you.”
After their time spent in Karaoke Dokie, Beck and Trina go to Yotally Togurt.
“You know, you’re a lot like Jade.”
“A psychotic bitch who hates people?”
“No. You’re not boring. You’re crazy, but a good crazy. Unlike Jade, some of it is because you care about others like Tori. I like that about you.”
“Thank you.”
“Ready to go home, Trina”
“Sure.”
They get in the car.
“So how do you think we should act during—”
“Can I kiss you in the performance?” Trina asks.
“Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”
He drives until he stops at Trina’s house.
“I actually had a great time. Maybe one day we can do this again.”
“Can I kiss you now‽”
“No biting.”
They kiss. Trina gets out. Once she gets inside, Beck leaves.
“Wait. He had a great time? We can do this again? What did that mean? What did that mean‽”
Jade drops Tori off at her house.
“I had a great time.” Tori says.
“I also had a great time.” Jade extends her hand, but Tori hugs her. Tori gets out of the car and enters the house.
“How did your date with that psychotic bitch go?”
“I don’t know. It was … bad, then good.”
“What does that mean? When am I beating Jade up?”
“No! No! Two boys were creeping us out.”
“Didn’t you tell them our dad is a cop?”
“Yeah, but they liked it.”
“Freaks.”
Jade enters her house.
“Hi Max!” She then hugs her brother.
“What? Are you okay? Where is this hug coming from? Are you gonna squeeze me to death?”
“I’m not going to do that. I’m just happy!” She hums and walks to her room. Max follows.
“First, why did you do that? Second, have you always been this warm? Third, why are you humming?”
“Tori said I was warm once on our school’s social media page.” I hope she wants to hug me more! Wait. What did I just say‽
It’s the night of the play.
“Is this really just about a bunch of cheerleaders dating different people?” Jade asks Mabel.
“Is this weird for you? I could switch you out with someone else.”
“No. I want the attention. I’m a main character after all.”
“Tori, are you okay with being with Jade?”
“Yes.”
“Okay. Remember, you two don’t have to kiss.” Mabel walks away.
“You’re not saying anything snarky.”
“Well, I had a lot to think about. I have to … savor this moment. Let’s practice our lines, Tori.”
“I like your hair. It looks really nice for your character to have a few different colored streaks.”
“Well, I thought I should do something with streaks instead of highlights. Also … thank you for noticing. You look … really nice with a bow and a ponytail.”
“Ready for this stupid play?”
“You mean this horribly written, cheesy, awful play about opposites attracting with multiple acts? Yes.”
They both laugh and hug.
“Excellent character building!” Mabel says.
Mabel comes out through the curtains.
“Good evening, everyone! It is my pleasure to welcome you all! I hope you enjoy this play! Without further ado, I present Opposites Attract!
The first act is Cat and Robbie’s.
“I can’t do this! I’m just a ditzy airhead! I’m stupid!”
“You know, you don’t have to be stupid. Your brain is the same size as everyone else’s. Just keep trying!”
“No one has ever talked to me like that before. Everyone else just gives up on me.”
“Don’t think too much. Well, you still have to think.”
“You’re funny.”
“Look at the tangent line and radius as different parts of a triangle, and solve for the other line. You can do it!”
Cat writes something down.
“You did it!”
“Yay! I feel so smart!”
They hug.
“So … do you have a girlfriend?”
“What? Um … No.”
“Do you … want one?”
They slowly lean in and kiss.
In the next act, Trina’s character is the head cheerleader who takes it upon herself to show Beck’s character school spirit.
“You could use some school spirit!”
“You don’t know what it’s like. You and your sister are always happy. My sister and I have a horrible family life.”
“You know what happens when my sister and I feel down?”
“You cheer?”
“We talk to each other.”
Beck looks away. “I want to act, but my friends might think I’m weird and my dad thinks acting is for weak men. My mom also agrees with him. They say they can’t have another gay child, so they yell anytime I talk about acting. They don’t know what I do after school. And to keep this guise up, I just act like a loner.”
“Do you want a hug?”
“Sure.”
They hug.
“Maybe when people get to know the real you, they can see a cute boy.”
“You know, you’re so nice to me. I haven’t met a girl who wasn’t so intimidated by me.”
“I think standoffish guys are cute. Everyone expects cheerleaders to go after the athletes. I don’t care about them. They’re all the same. But some people like you deserve attention.” They hold hands. Trina kisses Beck’s cheek. I did it!
The next act has Jade and Tori.
“Hey, why are you sitting by yourself? You’re missing the pep rally.”
“Because school spirit sucks.”
“You know, there’s nothing wrong with pep rallies.”
“Yeah? Well they suck. This whole school sucks.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m wrong!”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know how hard it is to be afraid that people are gonna look at you different?”
“Maybe you just need some cheer to—“
“I’m a lesbian! There! I said it!”
Tori looks down.
“Are you gonna tell all of your cheerleader friends?”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because I am, too.”
“But you’re a cheerleader and you’re dating one of the athletes.”
“I hang out with them because they expect me to. It’s all fake.”
“Well, what’s your type?”
“Lonely girls who need someone to talk to.”
“I think we might have something in common.”
The last scene involves two different girls. Another goth girl has to study with a cheerleader.
“Wait. You like older poetry, too?”
“You think just because I’m a cheerleader that I don’t understand the complexities of poetry from centuries ago? I like poets like Edgar Allen Poe and Emily Dickenson.”
“Oh. Well, I’m sorry for assuming.”
“It’s okay.”
“So, where are your parents? My mom works. My dad’s not involved, so I have to take care of my younger brother.”
“My dad’s dead, so if you thought I was a rich daddy’s girl, you’re wrong. My mom doesn’t stay long because she works too much.”
“I’m sorry for assuming.”
“I’m sorry for being mean.”
“Are you still dating the captain of the football team?”
“No. I just need people to think that.”
“Have you tried being with a girl?”
“No. Why are you asking? Are you suddenly into cheerleaders?”
“I just think that maybe, we got off on the wrong foot. You don’t have to try anything. It’s just that you’re faking being with—“
“Yes. I’m into girls. I’m scared you’ll tell.”
“Who do you think I’ll tell? I’m not that popular.”
“Sorry.”
“So … do you want to kiss me?”
“Um … sure.”
They lean in and kiss.
The end of the play comes up.
“I guess maybe cheerleaders can fall in love with nerds!” Cat kisses Robbie.
“And bad boys!” Trina kisses Beck.
“And cheerleaders can even fall in love with bad girls.”
The other two girls kiss and the audience gives a round of applause. Right before the lights go off and the curtains close, Jade and Tori kiss. When the lights turn on and the curtains open up, they stare at each other. Everyone else faces the audience to bow. Tori and Jade run away.
“Where are they going?” Mabel asks.
Tori grabs Trina and drags her to their parents to leave. Jade runs to Sapphire and takes her car keys and runs away.
Sapphire sighs. “Ruby, can you and Roy drop us off?”
“Sure.”
Meanwhile, in the car that has the Vegas.
“Tori, why—“
“Just drive, Dad!”
“Tori?”
“Not now, Mom!”
“Tori, what happened?”
“No, Trina! Dad, drive!”