Rehearsals end and Robbie and Cat set off for their date.
“Hey Cat, I know you don’t really like me that way, but why are you so scared of me sometimes?”
“I don’t know. You’re weird.”
“Yeah, but I’m trying to be better. I don’t have Rex here to make fun of us.”
Cat laughs.
“Is it okay to go over to my parents’ house? I have to do something quick.”
“Wait. I need to feed my brother.”
“Okay. We go to your place to feed your brother and then we go to my place.”
“Sounds good.”
“I brought my tandem bike so we could go together.”
They end up at Cat’s house.
“Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad!”
“Hi, Robbie.” Cat’s mom says.
"I'm here to take Cat on a date."
“Don’t do anything weird to Catarina.”
“Giovanni, no. He’s … okay.”
“Bella and I are going. Don’t be weird.” They leave. Giovanni comes back. “Use this.” He gives Robbie a breath mint.
Cat goes to the refrigerator to get a steak. “Here, Boy!” She tosses it to her brother and then follows Robbie.
“Your dad gave me a breath mint. Is my breath that bad?”
“Well … yeah.”
They end up at Robbie’s house.
“Mom, Dad, I’m with Cat.”
“Your father and I are going.”
“Why?”
“Don! Perla! Help me with the internet!”
“That sounds like your grandmother.” Cat says.
“That’s why.”
“Congrats on getting a date! We never thought you could.” Don gives Robbie his credit card.
“Robbie, is that you!” Robbie’s grandmother asks.
“What’s going on!” Robbie’s grandfather asks.
“Robbie’s home!”
“I’m hungry!” His grandfather says.
Robbie’s sister comes downstairs.
“Hi, Rachel.”
“Hi, Cat. Robbie, I’m leaving with Mom and Dad.” Everyone goes outside. “Robbie, take this.” Rachel gives him a pack of breath mints and leaves.
Robbie checks his breath. “How is it still bad?” He takes another breath mint. He turns to Cat. “Well, where do you want to go? You pick. My dad gave me his credit card because he was happy about the fact that I was going on a date with a pretty girl.”
Cat blushes and smiles. “Freezy Queen?”
“Do you want to hop on the back of this tandem bicycle?”
“Sure.”
They cycle to Freezy Queen.
“So, crazy that we’re in that play together. It’s like we’re meant to be.” Robbie says.
“Crazy.”
“You know, when I was going to quit, an option was given to me to be partners with Gabriella.”
“No!”
“Wait. Why did you say ‘no’ just now?”
“Because she can’t have you! That’s why!”
“Um … Okay. Do you want to try meat? We had those tacos once when we were in detention. I’m treating, so it’s not a big deal.”
“Sure.” Cat laughs. “We’re bad vegans.”
They go to Inside Out Burger
“This burger is pretty good.”
“I feel bad for the cow that died for it.”
“It’s okay, Cat.”
“Is it?”
“I don’t know. It’s tasty.”
Cat laughs. “We had dessert before a meal. We’re bad.” She laughs again.
“How are your classes?”
“I may struggle with math, history, science, reading, and writing, but I’m glad you help.”
“At least you’re good at singing and acting. You’re smart in something.”
“How’s family?”
“Grandparents ask for tech help a lot, but that’s fine. My mom, dad, and sister seemed happy that I was with a pretty girl.”
“Who? I’ll kill her!”
“You.”
“Oh. Well, that would be unfortunate if I killed myself.” Cat nervously laughs.
“How’s your family?”
“My parents are fine. They still don’t know what’s wrong with me and my brother. Nona is still around.”
“Your brother’s your pet dog.”
Cat laughs. “That sounds like something Rex would say. I wish I had a sister like you do.”
“Sometimes I wish I had a brother, but I like my sister.”
“Do you hate Jade?”
“No. Jade’s mean, but at least she’s somewhat nice to you.”
“She says I’m not a threat to her.”
“You don’t look like someone who’d steal her boyfriend.”
“Well, nobody does at this point since they broke up … again.”
“What do you want to do after this?”
“Let’s go the park and talk to random strangers and pet their dogs!”
After spending time at the park, they go to the Olive Bargain.
“My family makes better Italian food.”
“Makes sense since you are Italian.”
“What’s that supposed to mean‽”
“Your family is Italian and you all make authentic Italian food.”
“Oh! Okay!”
“Okay. We have finished our food.”
“Yes.”
“I have to go to the restroom.” Robbie says awkwardly as he gets up.
“What a coincidence. Me too.” Cat gets up to go to the restroom.
“Okay. I can do this.” He pops the breath mints in his mouth.
Cat takes a deep breath and pops some breath mints in her mouth. They both exit the restroom and then they leave.
“That was quick.” Cat says.
“Yeah. That was quick.” Robbie nervously laughs.
Cat laughs as well. “Wait.”
“What?”
“What’s funny?”
“Nothing.” Robbie pays and they leave.
They get on the bike and head back to Cat’s place.
“Cat.”
“Yes?”
“Question.”
“Okay.”
“Why do you get mad when I’m with other girls?”
“Because they can’t have you!”
“You didn’t want to go to the Cow Wow with me and got mad that I went with Gabriella.”
Cat sighs.
“Also, you’ve kissed me before.”
“Yeah. The cheek kiss was okay, but the mouth one was gross.”
Robbie checks his breath.
“And maybe … maybe I like the chase. We’re like kids playing tag, but nobody’s allowed to tag you or else. And I’m afraid to tag you. I’m it so nobody else can be. You keep trying to tag me and you miss and it’s fun.”
“But Cat, I can’t keep doing this.”
Cat doesn’t speak.
“It’s obvious you feel something for me. Whether we’re good friends or something else, I don’t care. I just don’t want things to get weird whenever I’m with another girl. I’m not trying to give you an ultimatum, but we have to figure out what we are.”
Cat sighs. “I promise that I’ll be more honest about my feelings. I’ll let you be with any girl you want.”
“Even if it isn’t you? Even if it’s Gabriella?”
“Yes. Wait … yes.”
“Thanks.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.“
Cat kisses him. “I stole your line.”
“You did.” Robbie smiles.
“I’m sorry. I like you. I really do. I was just scared.”
If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.
“So does this mean boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“Sure. But don’t bring out Rex as often. I want your hand around me sometimes, you know.” They kiss again. “Sorry for being weird, Robbie.”
“Well, maybe we’re just two weirdos in love.” Robbie then leaves to go home.
“Wait! Don’t go yet! Come back!”
“What?”
Cat kisses him again on the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you.” He finally leaves.
“Thanks for taking care of your breath. I almost had to make a bad news song about it.”
Robbie laughs and cycles home.
It’s the next day. Everyone is at the Asphalt Café. Cat and Robbie giggle with each other.
“So what’s got you two in such a great mood?” Jade asks.
”Guess.” Robbie says.
“Yeah, guess. I’ll give you a hint; Robbie and I are not a couple.” Cat winks.
Everyone stares.
“I think I just gave it out.”
“Yes!” Tori hugs Cat.
“Whatever. Just keep your pirating to yourself.”
“Why can’t you just be happy for them?” Beck asks
“I think they’re cute together.” Tori says.
“Of course you would, Tori.” Jade says.
“Well, at least we’ll have a functional couple in the group.” Beck says.
Trina runs up to Beck and gives him a hug. “HI BOYFRIEND!”
“Hey…you.”
Trina notices Robbie and Cat cuddling together. “They’re finally a couple?”
“Yes! Finally!” Tori says.
“That’s adorable!”
“Am I the sane one here?” Jade asks. “André, you’re sane. Back me up.”
“It is adorable.” He says.
“Jade, why can’t you be happy for them?” Tori asks.
“Yeah. Now the group has a couple that isn’t toxic.” Beck says
Jade starts to violently stab her food.
“I wouldn’t be toxic if I were your girlfriend.” Trina then tries to feed Beck his food.
“Be careful Trina. Soon he’ll see another pretty girl and forget you exist.”
“I won’t, Jade.”
“So I have a chance!” Trina says.
“Hey … girlfriend.” Tori hugs Jade. “Let’s not get in a sour mood today.”
Tori looks at Robbie and Cat feeding each other.
“Here comes the airplane!” Robbie opens his mouth and Cat feeds him while she makes plane noises.
“You’re turn!” Robbie does the same.
Trina kisses Beck’s face over and over.
Tori has an idea. “Here comes the airplane!”
“I’m not a fucking baby!” Jade takes her food and storms off.
“Damn, girlfriend! Ew. No. No amount of attempting to method act will ever make that sound good. André, why didn’t you audition? You could’ve saved me from being with Jade. You might’ve had one of us.”
“Or both.” Robbie says.
André smiles.
“Okay, that’s enough fantasizing.” Tori says.
They go through class as usual. Then the final bell rings and they go to the Blackbox Theater for extra rehearsals.
“Quick activity before we start. Act like a couple.” Mabel says
“We are going to make sure we see how much you all have changed from the first time. If it is awkward, we will have you and your partner go on a date. It worked for these two.” Sikowitz points at Robbie and Cat as they are kissing.
“I love you, Beck!” Trina says.
“I love you, Trina!” Beck says.
“You said it!”
“We’re acting.”
“I still got you to say it!”
Jade walks up to Sikowitz and Mabel. “Please, you have to let me be with someone else! I’m begging!”
“Jade, you’ve been begging for a lead role for a long time and you finally have one. Also, we wouldn’t have put you two together if you two didn’t say that you’re into boys and girls. Sure, there are others who wrote that, but I see some level of potential. I can’t explain exactly what the coconuts tell me, but I’m certain I’m not wrong.”
“We both saw potential, Jade. Sikowitz also told me you two have chemistry.”
“But how come every opportunity you get, we’re a couple?” Jade asks.
“Does that happen?” Mabel asks.
Tori walks up to them. “Yeah! She was Nancy and I was Walter, then there was that activity when the principal was in our class with Cat as our baby, and now this.”
“So you don’t want to be in my play anymore?” Mabel asks.
“Sikowitz is coco-nuts if he thinks I’m going to pretend to be Tori’s girlfriend.”
Mabel sees everyone, minus Robbie and Cat, act very awkward and agrees. “Maybe I should cut the play.”
“No. There will be no cutting of the play.” Sikowitz says. “Tori, Jade says you two are incompatible.”
“I agree with her for once.”
“If both of you can show us how truly incompatible you two are, you two can either switch partners or leave the play. We will try our best to accommodate.” Sikowitz turns and faces everyone else. “If anyone has objections to their partner, raise your hand.”
Nobody raises a hand.
“How are you two the only ones?” Sikowitz asks.
“Because she sucks!” They both say.
“Well, try to be better. I really want my play to succeed.”
“And I really wanted a happy nuclear family! It looks like we can’t always get what we want!” Jade sneaks out for a bit to gather some things.
“Where are you going?”
“Mind your business, Mabel.”
“She’s always mean. Don’t mind her.” Tori says.
Everyone is rehearsing lines and trying to act like a couple. Jade comes back with a duffle bag.
“Jade, what’s in that bag?” Tori asks
“Oh, just some stuff for this scene.”
“Alright. We’ll practice a scene between you two to see if there was a mistake in pairing you two.” Sikowitz says.
“We’ll start at the part where Tori tries to get Jade to enjoy pep rallies. Action! Did I say that right, Sikowitz?”
“Sure.”
“Action!”
“You know, there’s nothing wrong with pep rallies.” Tori then reaches for a hug.
“Why do you think I hate sports?” Jade says.
“That’s not in my script, Sikowitz.”
“Jade loves to improvise.”
“Uh, because you just said so.”
“I’m dressed like some edgy person and that means I can’t like sports? I’m a goth, but I can be peppy too.”
“Okay, I’m confused here.”
“Well I’m not. You don’t know me. I can be very random.” Jade then reaches into her bag and takes a gallon of water and dumps it on Tori.
Everyone gasps.
“Typical. This is just like the coffee incident.” Beck says.
“Wait a second. You’re not Tori’s friend at all! You’re a bully!” Trina says.
“Congratulations, Trina. You’re not as dumb as I—”
Tori punches Jade. People try to separate them until Trina comes from behind.
“You bitch! This is for my sister!”
Tori slips free from someone and jumps in.
“Someone restrain them.” Sikowitz says.
Beck, André and Robbie take them away.
“Students, I demand you all to boo Jade for being mean as she gets escorted.”
Everyone boos her.
The next day, Tori, Trina, and Jade are called to the guidance counselor’s office along with Sikowitz.
“So Jade poured her drink on Tori’s head, similar to her first exercise in my class. Tori retaliated with a punch and Trina got involved to defend her sister.”
“Jade was the clear aggressor.” Mabel says.
“Thanks, Maple.” Jade says.
“Mabel.”
“Wait! You did this on her first day here‽” Trina lunges at Jade, but gets held back by Sikowitz and Mabel.
“Based on what he says, a fair punishment should be two weeks of detention.” Lane says.
“Fine.”
“And you’re out of the play.” Sikowitz and Mabel say.
“What‽ What about Tori and Trina‽”
“They only fought back in defense.” Mabel says.
“Also, nobody likes you!” Trina says with a smile. “Is that all?”
“Yes. You two can go to class while Mr. Alexander and I further discuss Jade’s punishment.”
“Good. I have a Beck to date.” Trina leaves, but Tori stays.
“Staying to enjoy this moment? Enjoy looking at my actual black eye?”
“Wait.” Tori says. “What happens to my part?”
“Well, we don’t know yet. Sikowitz and I won’t kick you out, but we might have to change you to a different role or give you a different partner.”
“Wait. Hold on. I know Jade can be evil, but there has to be some way we can forgive her.”
“Forgive her? Forgive Jade West? The girl who I sent to this counselor for some guidance?”
“Yeah.”
“You and your sister beat me up.”
“I know. But deep down I know you want this position and you don’t get the chance. You suck, but I can’t let you not have something.”
“Fine. Since Tori is my favorite student, I’ll allow it.” Sikowitz says.
“You seriously have a favorite?” Jade asks.
“Well, just the talkers. You, Tori, Beck, André, Cat and Robbie. But I like you the least.”
“But your detention stands.” Mr. Alexander says.
“Lane is right.”
“Okay.” Jade says
“And I’m making you two go on another date.”
“What‽” Tori and Jade ask.
“Yes. I don’t care if you two think I’m nuts. I will not waver. You two will go on another date or I will actually kick Jade out and recast Tori’s roll as a background character.”
“No, she has main character energy. We’ll just kick Jade out and replace her with someone else.”
“Fine.” Tori leaves, but then comes back to step on Jade’s foot.
“Is nobody going to punish her for that?”
“No.” Lane says.
“Nobody likes you, Jade!” Sikowitz says.
“I’m sorry. I have to leave. This is getting awkward.” Mabel gets up and leaves.
It’s lunch. Since the fight, people have treated Jade horribly.
“Maybe I went overboard with hitting her.”
“What makes you say that?” Trina asks.
“Well, because I retaliated, people got bold enough to treat her badly. Look.”
Girls are throwing garbage at Jade.
“Don’t worry about it, she had it coming. I should’ve protected you those years back. I just learned that she spilled coffee on you on your first day of school; but if I knew then, she’d be dead.” Trina walks over to Jade and dumps her trash on Jade’s head. Trina then opens her coffee and spills it on Jade. “Consider this Tori’s revenge on her first day of school.” Trina then walks away.
“Don’t worry about it. She had it coming. Me dumping her, you fighting her, this, it’s her fault.” Beck kisses Tori and leaves.
Later in the day, Jade and Mr. Sikowitz are in Lane Alexander’s office.
“What did Jade do now, Erwin?”
“I’m the target.”
“Jade’s getting bullied by other students.”
Lane laughs. “Okay. Good joke.”
“Lane, I want to laugh too; but this is serious.” Sikowitz starts to giggle. “Who am I kidding?” They both laugh.
“Still here.” Jade says.
They clear their throats.
“Jade, there has to be some deep-seated reason behind your actions towards Tori. You’ve been getting along with her for a while, why the sudden change?” Lane asks.
“I’ve hated her since she talked to Beck. She made it worse by kissing him.”
“She did that to get back at you. Plus, you break up with him practically every season.” Sikowitz says.
“There has to be something else.” Lane says.
“Fine.” Jade sighs and takes out a piece of paper and writes something down. She gives it to Lane.
“Really?”
“You can’t tell anyone.” She pleads.
“I want to look.” Sikowitz says.
“You should, Erwin.”
Sikowitz reads the note.
“Tell nobody.” Jade says.
“We won’t.”
“But eventually, you will.” Lane says.
Jade sighs.
After rehearsals end, Sikowitz brings Tori and Jade to talk to Cat and Robbie.
“Robbie, Cat. I’m making these two go on a date sometime this week. I need you two to try to get them to try to like each other or get them to at least act like they like each other. Work your magic.” Sikowitz leaves.
Cat and Robbie whisper some ideas with each other. Robbie goes to fetch his guitar.
“So, how are you two doing?” Cat asks.
Neither of them responds.
“Lovely weather we’re having!” Cat says
They remain silent. Robbie comes back with his guitar.
“Ready, Cat?”
“Ready, Robbie!”
Robbie strums a chord on the guitar.
“No!” Tori and Jade yell.
“Well, at least they agreed to that, Robbie.”
“Huddle.” Cat and Robbie step aside and whisper ideas.
“Ooh! I like that, Robbie.”
Robbie puts the guitar down and then he and Cat are facing the girls.
“Hey girls.”
“It’s us again.”
“I’m Robbie.”
“And I’m Cat.”
“You know, every couple has problems.” Robbie says.
“Don’t call Tori and me a couple!”
“I bet you didn’t know this, but before Robbie and I started dating, we had problems with each other.”
“We knew.”
“Cat, you complained to us so about how scared you were. You complained to me and Beck back when we were dating almost every time you could.”
“You complained to André and me several times. You even complained to Trina and me that one time after she drove us to school.”
“But our relationship is going well since we started dating. Sometimes, we give each other compliments. Cat, you look lovely in that dress today!”
“Thank you, Robbie. You look snazzy as well! That shirt makes you look so attractive!”
“Barf.”
“Stop it, Jade.” Tori says.
“Why don’t you just kill me now, Tori.”
“Sometimes, we go on special dates. Like when we talk to the homeless or when he teaches me something cool or when we go out to eat.”
“I don’t think the first one is considered normal. Otherwise, the last two are cute!” Tori says.
“Why can’t you two be normal?” Jade says.
“And sometimes, we argue. Hey Cat, sometimes I think you’re too weird!”
“Well I thought you were weird for holding onto a puppet for so long. Also, you’re gross!” Cat winks at him. “If you two weren’t aware, we’re acting. We wouldn’t want to fight like Beck and Jade.”
“Thanks, for reminding me of my failed relationship, Cat.”
“But in the end, we apologize and forgive each other. Cat, I’m sorry I said all of those things. Also, you have such a cute face!”
“I forgive you. I’m sorry I was mean to you. You’re so cute and adorable!”
“I forgive you too.” They kiss. Tori smiles. Jade places her hand on Tori’s, but then moves it out of fear.
Why did I just do that?
“Your turn.” Robbie says.
“You don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to.” Cat says.
“What’s that supposed to mean‽” Jade asks.
“Isn’t that Cat’s line?” Tori asks.
“Try it.” Cat says.
“Hey Jade, I really love the way your dark clothes match your dark and twisted personality.”
Cat blows a whistle.
“Ow!” Tori and Jade say.
“You messed up.” She says.
“Try that again.” Robbie says.
“Okay. I genuinely like your style. It’s really pretty the way you wear your dark clothes. Also, your hair, makeup, and general looks are … always nice to look at sometimes.”
“Your turn Jade.” Cat says
“No.”
Cat blows the whistle.
“Dammit!” Jade says.
“We’ll tell Sikowitz if you don’t.” Robbie says.
“You’re bluffing!”
Robbie pulls out his phone with Sikowitz’s Slap profile.
“He’s not.” Cat blows the whistle again.
“What was that for?” Tori asks.
“It’s fun!” Cat says.
Jade groans and thinks of something nice. “You don’t look as bad in person as I imagine you do in my head.”
Cat blows the whistle.
“Fuck!” Tori and Jade say.
“No.” Cat says.
“Cat’s right. You have to try again, Jade.”
“Don’t tell me what to—“
Cat blows the whistle. “DON’T TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT!”
Tori and Jade stare at Cat in shock.
“I’m sorry for getting loud. I just love him.” She gives him a kiss.
“Try again, Jade.” Robbie says.
“Sometimes you look … nice in certain clothes. Also, your happiness isn’t always annoying?”
Cat and Robbie turn their backs and whisper to each other. “We’ll allow it.” Cat says.
“Now find something to argue about.” Robbie says.
“Oh! This will be easy!” Tori says.
“I’ve been waiting for this!” Jade says.
“Jade, I hate how demented and twisted you are. You’re unnecessarily mean, and you’re a total gank!”
“At least I’m not a home wrecker and an attention whore, Tori!”
“Why must you be such a massive bitch‽”
“Why did you follow your untalented sister to this school‽”
“Would it kill you to be nicer‽”
“Would it kill you to stop kissing someone else’s boyfriend‽”
“Would it kill you to actually act like a decent girlfriend‽ I feel sorry for Beck, or anyone who interacts with you!”
“I bet you’d love to be with him right now!”
“Asshole!”
“Bitch!”
“Cunt!”
“Don’t push me you dipshit!”
“Eat your pants!”
“Fuck you!”
“Good job on not messing up on Alphabet Improv this time.” Tori gives Jade a pity clap.
“How about you go somewhere, take my words, and shove them up your—“
Cat then blows a whistle and giggles. “I say that it’s now time for you two apologize like you mean it and give each other a compliment.”
Tori sighs. “Jade, I’m sorry that I hurt you. It was wrong of me to say that. You’re a really talented person who definitely belongs here.”
Jade sighs. “Kay. I’m not losing Alphabet Improv this time. Tori, I’m sorry I hurt you too. I’ve hurt you a lot and I’m shitty for it.” She hesitates before thinking of a compliment. “Your singing is really great.”
“Love it!” Cat says.
“Maybe they should hug!” Robbie says.
“No!” Jade says.
“Oh, please!” Cat says.
“Please, Jade and Tori?” Robbie says.
“Quickly.” Cat says.
“Right now.” Robbie says.
Tori and Jade awkwardly hug each other for a while until they separate.
“Still can’t do this.” Tori says.
“Alright. I have to leave. I gave my quota of touching to Tori.”
Cat blows the whistle.
“What the fuck was that for, Cat‽” Jade asks.
“The next letter was T. You’re out.” Cat says.
“Oh. Okay.” Jade walks away and then screams.
“Take me home on your bike!”
“Understood, Cat!”
“I love tandem bike rides with you!”
“I love that you love them, Cat!”
“Wait!”
“What is it, Cat?”
“We both lost Alphabet Improv!”
“It’s okay. We’re going on a date, so we win!”
They hold hands as they skip to the door for their bicycle ride.
I’m by myself. Robbie said “Understood, Cat!” U. So now I start with a V. “Victorious!” Tori walks away. I win!