Boyd awoke in a large amount of pain and a typical amount of confusion. Given his penchant for drugs and drinking, hangovers were a normal aspect of life. The ringing in his head was beyond this typical amount though, which usually meant he’d gone on a bender. He briefly recalled a weird and unfortunate dream that he couldn’t quite remember that involved a nurse and some machines. In this case, he slowly began piecing together the fact his dipshit friend Walker had tried to blow him up.
“Wendy? Sarah? Walker?” Boyd yelled for his prior companions but to no avail. Instead, he looked over and saw what he effectively processed as monsters.
Boyd looked quizzically at his soon to be new compatriots and gave a particularly human response, screaming at the top of his lungs before immediately wildly striking at Gmol. His fist compacted against the mushroom/slime blob, effectively doing nothing other than burning his skin, whereupon he withdrew it and began screaming in pain. He ran towards Fleon in a panic as he was the most human looking thing in the room, albeit dressed as an Arthurian Knight, but was subsequently tripped by the inhumanly fast Salia, who subsequently planted him against the ground with her fist. A ribbon of iridescence flashed up Gmol’s normally green appearance and Boyd’s body became still and stiff instantly.
Salia bristled, “Is this a test? A joke? What is this creature and why was he allowed in this room Fleon?”
Fleon sighed, “I am sorry to say that…”
“This is clearly chattel. Let us eat. Thank you Lord Fleon for providing this meal. Transposition has left me ravenous.” Jellybean Jenkins, Wolf-Lord of the Seven Plains, stretched his neck out and his lower jaw began to grow. As Wolf-Lord, he was accustomed to eating first. He cast the two wickedly bladed axes he held in his hands aside and licked his lips at the meal set before him.
Boyd was unable to protest, and in fact, unable to move. Interestingly, he could still urinate. He could feel it leaking out of him which was probably due to the intense terror he felt at being eaten by a giant white talking dog-man-monster-creature. To give credit where credit is due though, the slime creature, the bird-like lady that punched him, and the human-like creature with the weird neck in golden plate mail were almost all equally terrifying and weird. Obviously, Boyd was having some sort of dream, likely from some sort of concussion due to dynamite explosions. Having eaten LSD many times as a kid, he knew the right action was to blindly accept things as truth and ride out the dream sequence until he woke up.
Fleon extended his sword towards Jellybean Jenkins. “You cannot. While I regret to inform you of this, I must explain myself. The Assembly failed. The responsible party’s life is forfeit already. I took it myself. Zualt will not be coming, and instead, we have been provided this creature. This thing is called Boyd and it is a Human from Earth.”
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
Upon hearing of his former home Jellybean Jenkins took a step back. He smiled wryly and said, “Earth? Explain your failure.”
Fleon sighed. “As you are all aware, the party is Assembled. We are all now Combatants and are linked until we begin the Foray. Boyd cannot be replaced for the meantime. If he is killed, we simply continue as four. The likelihood that we attain the same level of success as a team of four is close to zero, but we four remain formidable. It is simply too much to ask, even of Combatants as highly regarded as yourselves, to achieve the same goals we previously agreed upon, but we can at least make our mark as we can. While I cannot imagine he can provide much, if we can keep him alive long enough to gain some semblance of usefulness, I believe he could at least carry things for us. I simply cannot apologize enough for this unforgiveable mistake. All the same, I remain the Leader of this Foray. My suggestion is that we put this to a vote. Who votes that we allow this Boyd creature to join us and who votes that we end him now and dismiss this Foray entirely? My vote is he is allowed a chance to join.”
Boyd was aware he could understand the languages even though they all sounded quite different. The long-necked human made ape noises, the dog barked and the robot bird-lady tweeted, but it all sounded like English in his brain. He was also aware they were voting to kill him or not, and was hoping he might get a say in the matter, but remained unable to move.
Gmol’s form shifted and a symbol appeared in his stomach. Boyd had never seen it, but empirically understood it meant, “Sadly, no, this one must be Reclaimed. Our bargain was dependent on you providing a Foray with a chance at success. We are now missing a critical member. Put this out of its misery.” The black dots near the top of his form that Boyd thought were some sort of eyes focused on him. Another symbol appeared in Gmol’s chest and Boyd understood this to mean, “I’m sorry, Human.”
Boyd’s only hope was the bird-lady as the Dog-creature was clearly planning on eating him. That hope didn’t pan out. Salia was blunt to the point of flippantness, “He is a Rank 1 Monk and is Unassigned. His stats are pathetic. No. I didn’t come here to babysit and bringing him with us is no different than killing him now. I don’t know what your Assembler did Fleon, but this is a pretty piss poor start to things.”
Boyd, realizing he was about to be eaten, now defecated as well. Jellybean Jenkins, Wolf-Lord of the Seven Plains wrinkled his nose at the stench. “I vote yes. He should come. However if you could kindly remove your paralysis spell Gmol, it appears like this one has befouled the den. Fleon, please have someone clean it.”
Fleon paused, having already assumed that Jellybean Jenkins would be voting in favor of eating the newcomer. “2 to 2. The last vote goes to Boyd I guess then as a member of the Foray.”
Gmol shined iridescently for a brief second and Boyd realized he was again capable of moving.
Fleon extended his neck towards Boyd. “Indeed, he smells of piss and shit. Regardless, what say you then Boyd, Human of Oklahoma? Live and join our glorious combat or die here shitting yourself on the floor?”
Boyd said the only thing he’d been thinking this entire time, “What the fuck is happening and how do I get back to Oklahoma?”