“Which of the Guards are we gonna kill?” Boyd asked. “Also I think I get a reward for all the shit with the Harpys so if we can avoid pissing off the whole town it might be good.”
Sarah giggled, “You’re so funny Sir Boyd.” She flew over to him and gently punched him on the shoulder before batting her eyes at him. “Why would we ever hurt one of the Guards?”
“Uhh, I thought that was the easiest way to get past the Guards?”
Merlot’s Merrymen all collectively laughed.
Merlot clapped Boyd on the back, “Why would anyone ever kill one of the Guards? You just have to show your paperwork and you can walk right past them. Where is your paperwork Sir Boyd, I hold all of the paperwork for the group so we can just show the Guard a single time. It just makes things simpler for them and we try not to waste their valuable time.”
Boyd was unused to hearing Guards spoken of in this way, “Where do you usually get paperwork? What happens if you don’t have any?”
Rosey looked at him with concern, “You do have your paperwork right?”
“I don’t think I ever got paperwork.”
Sarah gasped, “Everyone has paperwork Sir Boyd, how could you even get into Zenith if you didn’t have paperwork showing who you were?”
“Well when I got kidnapped by the computer lady…”
Chard and Rosey gasped again, “Oh you poor thing!” They floated over and held his hands before he could continue.
Merlot ran his hands through his long beard. “I bet we have a way to fix this. Pinot, maybe you can assist our new friend?”
Pinot laughed and performed a grandiose bow and then pulled out a piece of paper. “As Uva’s finest poet, I am sure I can come up with something.” Pinot extracted a pen from his hat and he began writing on a scroll. His pen glowed brighter and brighter and he began to write. What once started as words became frantic scribbling as his hand moved faster and faster. He scribbled on the middle of the page, but words began filling up all points and places. After a few seconds, he produced a document that extensively credentialed Boyd as a Combatant in this year’s Maze, and suggested he be allowed safe passage to any place available to the year’s Combatants.
"So all I need is this piece of paper?”
Pinot bowed extensively and doffed his cap, “This is the least I can do for our honorable new friend.”
When they approached the Guard, he casually accepted their papers and the group marched into town. Boyd had assumed they would leave each other at this point, but Merlot was insistent they share a drink together. They set off towards the local Inn, which was where Boyd had intended to go either way. Eventually they wound up at a place called “Glipglaup’s HipHop House Flip Flop House”. It was marked by a large red circle with a single line through the middle, which Boyd couldn’t process as to how that sign would ever indicate anything related to the building. Unlike the previous Inns, this place was more akin to a Russian discotheque than a traditional high fantasy Inn. It featured what Boyd thought was most closely related to House music with occasional flashing strobe light. It had a dance floor in the middle of the room, but curiously, everyone was sitting at tables eating casually like it was fine dining. The juxtaposition of what Boyd imagined a European rave would look like and the casualness of the diners left him confused, but he followed along anyway, happy to be included. The group set a large table together and ordered drinks and food, although Boyd had no idea what any of it actually was. They regaled each other with stories of combat for a few hours as they drank and ate together. It was the first time Boyd felt like he had actual friends since he had come to The Maze.
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Merlot’s combat abilities were far exceeded by his drinking ability. Boyd was stone cold drunk at this point in the evening, whereas the Merrymen were largely untouched in comparison. The thumping bass from the music was driving his drinking ever onward, despite the fact he had no idea where the music was coming from.
Merlot yelled across the table, “Sir Boyd tell us of your prior adventures. What fool would ever banish you from their company? I am surprised that anyone could ever possibly not see the value in a fine friend such as yourself.”
Boyd yelled back, “Yea, so I showed up and then I killed a bunch of these Slender thing, well, actually my buddies did most of it. They ain’t really my buddies I guess. I thought of them like that, but they weren’t like me and Walker or nothing’ so maybe I need to figure out something else to call them. They each split up and just wasted these little dudes in like no time flat though. Then we had to walk to Portcullis, which took a long time because I was only Rank 3. I did kill some Gorplings. Then when we got to city we killed the Guard like I told you about, and then I went lookin’ for Mana with Fleon. We ended up getting some, but then I…”
The music played on but the table stopped talking.
“Hold on a second,” Chard said. “Who did you go with?”
“I’m gettin’ to the best part. I used a big ass stone head to squish this dude named Demondread and I took his sword and did some Multi-classing, but I think I told you that Fleon broke my shit so I can’t Rank up right now. Then I was killing Weevils and ya’ll showed up…” Boyd realized he had drunkenly let the name slip again, and now hoped he could just brush past it.
Merlot raised his hand. “Explain to me again, to which Foray did you belong?”
“Oh, I was part of Fleon’s Fine Foray for the Filary.” Boyd looked at the faces around him sag. Even through his drunken haze he knew what this meant. The table grew immediately cold. He saw each of Merlot’s party stare at each other and then to Merlot himself. Merlot clenched his beard and his then rubbed his fingers from his moustache to the tip of his beard.
He spoke after a few seconds. “I see. This is Fleon of the Filary, correct?”
“Yea, you know him or something?”
“You could say that. Many know of him, although I have never met him myself.”
“Oh, yea, he done kicked me out over some bullshit so I’m trying to figure out how to get the fuck out of here on my own.” Boyd belched loudly.
“Indeed. Well, best of luck to you Sir Boyd. I believe my band of Merrymakers has another appointment on the other side of town. Unfortunately, we will need to pay our tab and leave.”
Boyd felt the tension at this point. He looked over and Rosey and Sarah, but they wouldn’t meet his stare. Chard was already standing and was halfway out the door.
“Dude, did I do something wrong? What happened here?”
“Nothing at all Sir Boyd. Nothing at all. Best of luck in your Quest. I hope to meet again some day.” Merlot and the rest of the group were donning the rest of their attire to leave at this point.
“Wait, I thought we might be able to join up. Even if I can’t be in your Foray we can just adventure together right? We shared some Mana just then?” Boyd asked.
Pinot turned around, “I won’t have the ire of the Filary on our Foray, nor will I associate with their companions.” He spat on the ground.
“Easy brother,” Merlot said. He leaned forward close to Boyd and whispered, “Be careful with that information Sir Boyd. Not everyone will be as forgiving as Merlot’s Merrymen.”
As quickly as they had saved him, the group left. Boyd set a table with six empty plates of food and six full mugs of ale. Again, he was alone. He drank the ales by himself, and picked at the food, but it was mostly inedible in his view. The waitress came to his table after a few minutes and demanded the full amount for the ale and food. Boyd paid her with the gold coins he had from the prior battles and stood up. He was drunk and could barely walk. The waitress thanked him and handed him a piece of paper with an eye towards the bar. A man was staring at him.
“Mr. Glipgaulp wanted to speak with you,” she said. She curtsied and walked away.
The bartender was wiping down the bar as all good bartenders do. He gave a head nod towards Boyd who sauntered over to him. He turned his back as Boyd arrived and walked towards the other side of the room. The man sitting at the bar stuck his hand out and smiled. Boyd shook it after a few misses. He eyed Boyd up and down and then said, “Did I hear you say you were with the Filary?”