It was their third day in Portcullis and they had nearly collected enough Mana Nodes. Boyd and Fleon had contributed only a single Mana Node so far, but the others were well on their way to completion. They were sitting in the common room together, discussing the plans for the day.
“Yea, The Queen herself. I was just walking down the street and there she was in front of me and she was like ‘Hey are you an adventurer’ and I was ‘I sure am’ and she was like ‘Ya’ll got a minute, this uhh place down on the Canal District is full of demons and we need to clear it out’ and I was ‘Sure, I can do that’ and she was like ‘Thanks Boyd’ and then I left. Came straight here. Thought you’d wanna know being our leader and all.”
Fleon turned towards the window. He tried to look pensive. “A quest from the Queen herself. You surprise me Sir Boyd. Your legend grows if the Queen of Portcullis herself has requested you. Where might I ask did she send you?”
Boyd pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “It says The Palace of Unbridled Lust.”
Fleon nodded sternly. “Indeed, I have long assumed that this place was filled with demonic power. We spoke of this just yesterday. The disgusting and vile sexual depravity of the demonesses and whores that litter those halls knows no bounds. They offer men pleasure that they could never hope to achieve anywhere else. They facilitate impurity and chaos. Were I ever to enter those unhallowed halls, I would be forced to quell every urge inside of me to indulge myself in their acts of sexual glorification and instead pray and sermonize these poor sad souls on the Grace that my Goddess exudes. I would not slip my armor off and caress their supple demonic breasts, nor would I entwine my neck within their thighs before I gently…”
Boyd held up a hand. “I get it bud. Let’s focus on the quest.”
“Yes, your wisdom exceeds your meager and pathetic statistics. Let us go forth as Fellow Combatants. The gathering of Mana Nodes can wait. We will first purge this palace of sin of its filth. I probably won’t need my armor, so I will just leave that here and proceed only in my skivvies which is a normal thing to do in this case and you should not question this action or assume it is duplicitous. Upon arriving we should definitely split up to make sure that we cover as much ground as possible.”
Boyd’s ears perked up. “Yea, it says here this is a solo mission. It says it can’t be completed by more than just me. By uhh…Queen’s decree. Also man, I think you should find a dictionary or whatever they have here and look up the word ‘repressed,’ you might have some issues.”
Fleon cleared his throat, “I have never heard of such a thing. I am sure you would never lie to me though Sir Boyd and thus I respect your decision. Just know that if you run into any demonesses whose wiles attempt to corrupt your noble heart, I am always available to smite evil. Just as I saved you from that wretched Hag, I will come and purify the filthy demonesses from this land.”
“Sure, yea. Hey look, I will probably need some gold in order to give to all the women that I liberate from the palace? I figure many of them will need gold to get by before we usher them off to church or whatever. So maybe I take like, 1,000 gold coins with me?”
“For this noble task! I will personally donate 2,000 gold from my own war chest!”
Boyd’s eyes got larger, “2,000 huh? Just how big is your war chest?”
“I am High Paladin of the Filary. I control almost unlimited quantities of gold if the cause be just and righteous.”
“Oh yea? Cause for 5,000 gold I could probably liberate even more Souls.”
“Your bravery and charity is immense Sir Boyd. 5,000 gold it shall be!” Fleon counted out bags of gold and hefted them onto the table in front of them. The table sagged under the weight.
"Great, so I am just gonna run on down there and get to proselytizing and whatnot and run them demons off, why don’t you wait here?”
“I shall stand guard for as long as it takes,” Fleon said.
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“Yea, cause it might be a while. I don’t know how many demons I am going to have to fight or how long it will take to convince these poor souls to give up their awful lifestyle and return to the loving arms of… whoever it is you like.”
Fleon stood up, “Take as long as you need Sir Boyd. Your mission’s importance cannot be understated. While I am a Combatant now, I will be High Paladin of the Filary as long as I draw breath. Saving and purifying the Souls of the people remains my highest priority and my guiding light. Please take copious notes of your adventure and be prepared to share them with me upon your return. I will need to know the exact degree to which of these of these sullen whores exposed her body to anyone who would look. I will need to fully understand just how many acts of depravity each woman had performed, and extensive details of how they perform these acts, but only because I will try to atone for their sins directly through offerings to Ioer. If you can provide me with detailed pictures that capture the entirety of the acts, including the more ravenous parts, I will…”
Boyd slipped out the door as Fleon continued to talk.
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Boyd followed the map exactly. The Palace of Unbridled Lust was nothing to note on the outside, but decadent on the inside. A scent he couldn’t place beckoned him forward when he found the door. The perfume radiated throughout the building. It left him tumescent.
Boyd entered a small alcove with nothing other than a single woman at a large desk. The woman was fully nude. She looked largely human, although she was obviously some other race. Her blue skin outlined a number of well-defined curves such that she would be defined as “voluptuous” in human terms. Her thick, long, red and orange hair extended from her head almost to the floor and hid the majority of her body. She was smiling seductively. Boyd examined her top to bottom and tried to ascertain exactly what part of her was for sex and what part of her wasn’t, ultimately coming to the conclusion that she might not be exactly what he was looking for, but beggars can’t be choosers, and if this was the only option, she would do.
“Welcome to Palace of Unbridled Lust. How may I serve you?” she hissed in a sultry voice.
She smiled and flung her hair back, revealing two sets of ample breasts and an additional body part that Boyd didn’t really understand, but looked like it had potential.
Boyd smiled back and hefted the entirety of his newfound fortune on the counter, “What does 5,000 gold buy me?”
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SYSTEM: New Inherent Ability Gained (x3).
You have unlocked a new Inherent Ability: Til the Break of Dawn. What you lack in speed and size you make up for in vigor and veracity. You are unaffected by Physical Exhaustion.
You have unlocked a new Inherent Ability: TAFKaP. You have exerted a surprising amount of control over a Succubus through uncommon and skillful means. You are unaffected by Mind Control spells that rely on Seduction.
You have unlocked a new Inherent Ability: Superfreak. Your openness to new experiences has made you less susceptible to being Surprised. You cannot be Surprised by an enemy, even if you were unaware of their presence before.
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Boyd stumbled out of the Palace of Unbridled Lust nearly a day later. His pores were steeped in a variety of what he had been told were “vital essences” but what Boyd had come to view as “space drugs.” He had little recognition of the previous hours. He remembered flesh. He remembered pleasure. His genitals hurt. It wasn’t just his dick though, pain literally reverberated throughout his body.
SYSTEM: You have gained 540 bonus experience points from… stuff. Seriously, I don’t even want to talk about it. Dude. Gross. Do you even have boundaries? I've been doing this a long time and even I'm a little appalled. Let's just drop it. You got the experience and that's that. No more discussion.
You are now Rank 6 Swordsoul, sicko.
You have gained two attribute points, too bad you can’t spend them on basic decency.
You have gained 5 points of skill in Greatswords.
You are now Rank 7 Swordsoul.
You have gained one attribute point. You should’ve gained two, but I am taking one away because I had to watch that shit and I can't unsee it.
You have gained 5 points of skill in Greatswords. This isn't a pun, don't crack wise with me or I am taking this one too.
Life: 14/72. You are deeply dehydrated. You are starving. You are suffering from Hollylock poisoning, your intelligence has been reduced by half. You are suffering from Cloakweed poisoning, you are hallucinating. You are suffering from Dopaswell poisoning, your agility has been cut by half. You are diseased, you are suffering from Demon Cholera. You are diseased, you are suffering from Rockrot. You are diseased, you are suffering from…
Boyd quit reading. It seemed like none of this would kill him, and thus he decided he would just call it a hangover and move on. He limped back to the inn, desperately trying to avoid having to pee as it cost him several life to do so.