They had broke camp and were now moving forward through the vast caverns and narrow dusty tunnels that marked the current Level.
“We’re here for the same thing everyone else is. Our society uses Mana for many critical tasks. While we don’t have the pedigree of some of the larger groups, this is our competition too and we aim to excel past our previous excellent standards.”
Boyd was confused, “This is your second attempt? I thought it was only once every 30 years?”
“It is, but 30 years is a relatively short time for us. Some races live days, some live months, we typically live centuries. Our view of time is different than yours, but the long and short of it is that assuming we all leave here alive, we will continue to serve our society for many Forays to come. There is nothing quite as valuable as experience, Sir Boyd.” Merlot winked at him and ran his finger-like appendages through his long beard greasy beard.
“That makes sense I guess, so you guys know all about this place, huh?”
Pinot laughed, “While no one knows everything, many of the more prominent groups have centuries of experience. The Cold Iron Dwarves are said to have mapped the entirety of The Maze for more than one hundred Levels. It is, of course, no surprise that they always fare well in this contest.”
“I am supposed to find a town though, so maybe if ya’ll happen to know where the closest town is? I don’t need to know everything, just need to find a town to get back on my feet.”
Merlot nodded, “Most certainly, while we have a Quest to complete prior to arriving at the closest town you are welcome to join us until then. Due to your compromised state, we won’t ask you to participate in combat with us, but you may simply follow along for safety until you are back on your feet.”
“That’s good enough for me. Thank you kindly.”
A magnificent light appeared above Chard’s head and proceeded to persistently light the way down the cavern, easily outshining the bits of light that came in.
“Then follow my little helper and we will be off.”
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They stopped in front of a set of cliffs that extended into the cave wall. The nearby cliffs were buzzing with activity that Boyd couldn’t make out. High atop the cliffs was a massive glowing blue stone that Boyd recognized as a Mana Node. An extremely large exclamation point shone above the cliffs in a brilliant color of yellow. Boyd was fixated on it.
“This is where our paths must diverge for a while Sir Boyd, if you simply continue along this road you will find the town of CavesWall though. Perhaps we will see you there.”
“Yea, perhaps, hey what’s that thing over there?” Boyd asked.
“Ah, you have spotted our Quest. We are in the process of assembling a powerful item for our healers Rosey and Sarah. It requires feathers from the Harpy King, an incredibly dangerous foe that rests at the top of the Cliffs of Agony.”
“I’m guessing those are the Cliffs of Agony then?” Boyd pointed towards the expanse of cliffs in front of them. Water fell over the cliff edges from an impossibly high source somewhere beyond his vision. The rocks glistened having been flattened under the constant pressure from the water. They Cliffs beautiful and enticing. He felt pulled to them immediately, but realized this Quest was not his own. Even more problematically, the Cliffs were exceptionally well lit, and upon them he noticed a number of potential issues. The Cliff path itself looked extremely treacherous, but perhaps more problematically, some of the aforementioned activity was due to the presence of giant birds that looked mostly like large red eagles, but were substantially larger. He focused on the bird as best he could to scan it.
SYSTEM: Rock Roc, Rank 45 - There are many different types of Roc in the world. Rock Rocs are fairly common and mostly non-threatening. They struggle to get off the ground and can’t carry much weight very far, and thus prefer higher altitude homes such as mountains. Really the only way a Rock Roc becomes dangerous is if they can somehow pick you up and drop you from a great height. As long as you don’t encounter one on say, a set of cliffs, you should be fine. Oh wait...
Even Boyd quickly realized the whole Cliffs of Agony were a setup for the birds to knock you off the ledge. “If ya’ll had a way to make yourself really heavy you could walk right past them!”
“Indeed Sir Boyd. We use this exact strategy. I can cast a spell called Iron Toes that makes our feet shod in Iron. It does make walking a bit more difficult, but the spikes allow us to dig into the Cliff walls and protect us from the Rock Rocs. This is not the danger of the Cliffs of Agony though, only an additional inconvenience.” Pinot pointed high on the Cliffs. “Those are the actual issue. Here, use my telescope, it will still allow scanning.”
Pinot handed Boyd an item which he scanned instinctively. He was starting to get the hang of Zenith..
SYSTEM: Telescope of Farscanning - a magically enhanced telescope that allows for System Scans at great distances. Property of Pinot of Merlot’s Merrymakers.
Boyd focused it as high as he could on the Cliffs. The telescope kept trying to scan random things of less interest and he had to unfocus it multiple times, pulling his face back from the lens. Eventually he got a good bead on one of the creatures in question and scanned it. It was part bird and part woman, sort of like Salia, but whereas she was tiny and mostly birdlike with mammalian hands, this thing was basically a human-esque female with wings, feathers and claws for feet.
SYSTEM: Angry Harpy, Rank 42 - “Angry Harpy” is a bit of an oxymoron. They are a cranky bunch. Like their cousins the Sirens, they spend most of their days luring people onto their Cliffs with their Harpy Song. No one knows why, but it seems like their only real enjoyment in life is convincing nearby travelers to do whatever it is they want, which is typically jump off a nearby ledge. Did I mention all Harpy’s are carnivores? And they rarely go hungry.
It was coming together pretty fast for him. “So you plug your ears and then put on iron foot thingers and then can walk right up to the King right? It seems like the whole point of this place is to get past these trap creatures.”
Shard and Rosey nodded, “Trap creatures! We’d never thought of it this way. Brilliant, we love it.”
“It’s a classic mission for a Rogue, and thus Chard will primarily complete this one for us. He will sneak past the Harpys, fight off the Rocs and then ultimately be forced to do battle with the Harpy King. He can then Tap the Mana Nodes and pluck the feathers and we’ll be off! We can support him from down here, but we cannot go on the ledge itself.”
“Why not?” Boyd asked.
“Too dangerous. You’ll see,” Chard said. Merlot began casting a spell. Chard’s feet were rapidly encoated in a layer of pure steel. “These do make the sneaking around quite a bit more difficult I must say. I do wish we had a quieter heavy substance.
The group laughed as a whole so Boyd laughed too, but mostly out of an urge to be accepted.
“Whelp, I’m off then!”
Boyd set down and decided to watch the adventurer in action.
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It was Chard’s third attempt up the Cliffs. The first two ended the same way. He would make it two thirds of the way up the Cliff, whereupon a Harpy would see him and then he would slowly walk off the edge of the Cliff until Merlot or one of the other casters caught him in a bubble and set him back on the Cliffs. He would’ve been dead a long time ago without their help. Boyd hadn’t really said anything til this point.
“Why does he keep doing that?” Boyd asked. “He’s gonna get himself killed.”
“He isn’t doing it on purpose. Chard is a Class called a Light Bard. He’s not truly a Rogue but he serves that purpose for our Foray. While he has all of the normal Bard spells, he can also bend light around him to give him a significant bonus to Stealth abilities. He’s basically invisible to most creatures when he wants to be, but the Harpy’s have extremely keen vision. Whenever he is spotted they send him off the edge. Then we catch him and set him back.” Merlot said.
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“You can do it!” Rosey cheered.
“We got you!” Sarah said.
“What happens if he falls?” Boyd asked
The twins looked disappointed. “We won’t let that happen. We each have a Bubble spell so as long as he doesn’t fall twice in a few seconds or so, we can catch him.” Sarah said.
Boyd thought for a minute. “So how does the Harpy thing work?
Sarah and Rosey giggled, “Everyone finds Harpys very Seductive. It’s their song. It’s so beautiful you will do anything they want.” They both frowned, “Including walk off a cliff.”
“It’s a Seduction? Cause if so, I think I might have a better way of doing this. Why don’t you let me try.”
The party looked at him before Merlot responded, “It is a Seduction Sir Boyd, but while we are aware you are unfamiliar with The Maze, but it would be considered Quest poaching if you were to do this. That is uhh… antagonistic in nature. Please allow us to continue.”
“Isn’t there like a teamwork function or something? Can’t we do it together?”
The Merrymen looked to Merlot. “There is, but there is a large amount of Mana and rewards attached to this Quest. You would have to convince me that your way is likely to be substantially better without us losing much.”
“As long as that Harpy thing is a Seduction spell I got this. Hook me up with those metal boots and if a Rock Roc gets at me then fireball his ass if you can. Tell Chard to come on down. I’m tagging in.”
Merlot nodded and stroked his beard. “Tell me your plan.”
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The Rock Rocs weren’t a big problem. Even at Boyd’s much lower level and without much in the way of armour, they were mostly just big birds. He would punch and kick at them when they came by. The metal shoes that Merlot had given him made his Monk kicks pretty effective against the sleight of frame birds. One kick wouldn’t kill them, but it stunned them long enough for them to fall out of the air and go kersplat on the ground. Unfortunately, he wasn’t receiving much experience for any of the kills as the ground was doing most of the work.
SYSTEM: Rock Roc dies from falling. You gain 12 experience (15% of damage).
Now that he wasn't with Fleon's group he was getting a ton more experience which was nice. The whole thing was going quite well.
He had explained the plan clearly to Merlot’s Merrymen, but they were surprisingly obtuse. The idea that he couldn't be Seduced just didn't seem to register.
“I don’t understand Sir Boyd, how can you possibly hope to resist the Harpy’s Song?”
“It’s a long story. The fast version is that I slung some of this here dick to some Succubus lady with four big ass boobs down on the Canal District Whorehouse and uhhh…” Boyd remembered he wasn’t supposed to mention his Inherent Abilites. “Well, uhh she did a spell to me that made me good at avoiding Seduction. On account of how I was able to please her. It was a Quest. A new one. That’s why ya’ll dont know about it. I figured it out too. You know fellas always assume pleasing the ladies is about the size of the boat, but I really try to touch them in the one place a lady really needs to be touched - her mind - then they just fall to pieces."
Rosey and Sarah shared an odd look, but Boyd couldn’t quite place it. They both put their fingers in their mouth and did a fake gag at that point and Boyd figured out the meaning.
The story was complete bullshit of course. Actually he’d thrown away a few thousand gold in a few hours and then woke up with a new Inherent Ability. He had no idea how he’d gotten it, but assumed that Zina was probably behind it in one way or another. Regardless, it fit the current situation pretty well. As long as he could avoid the Rock Rocs, he could simply walk straight to the Harpy King. He had a teleportation beacon that would allow one of the party members to teleport to him. As soon as he was out of range of the song, he would simply teleport in Merlot who would launch a quick fireball and that would be that.
Boyd was about halfway up the cliffs when he encountered the first Harpy. He heard her song from a distance, but couldn’t make out the words until he got closer.
Rockrot hits you for 5 damage. Rockrot cannot be cured without Essence of Earth.
“Fucking Rockrot,” Boyd thought aloud.
He hid behind a Cliff wall and stared at the Harpy. He quickly realized he actually understood the song.
The Harpy listlessly sang, “I’m bored. I’m bored. Oh my God, this is so fucking boring. Jump off the cliff if you hear this. Or don’t. I don’t care. Someone please save me or just jump off the cliff.”
Boyd jumped out from behind the cliff wall. “Uhh, hi there ma’am you mind if I pass by?”
The Harpy stopped singing. “You can understand me.”
“Yes Ma’am.”
“No one ever understands me. They just jump off the cliff. Oh shit, wait, he’s coming by, hide.” The Harpy cleared her throat. “Jump off the cliff. If you are an adventurer and you hear this, then jump off the cliff. Please jump off the cliff.”
Boyd looked up and saw a slightly larger and much uglier Harpy flying around the area. None of the Harpys wore clothes, but they were generally covered in feathers. In contrast, this fella was packing some serious meat which hung between his legs as he flew over the Cliffs. Boyd scanned him quickly but he knew what this was before he even bothered.
SYSTEM: The Harpy King, Rank 104, BOSS, SOUL CATCHER - The Harpy King is exactly what he sounds like, King of the Harpies. Harpies only produce one male out of every 200-300 live births. Because of this, the whole lot of them are extremely inbred. All it really takes is one dumb Harpy King to fuck up a whole colony. What we have here is a prime example. This guy is as much a ruler as he is an astrophysicist. Basically he eats Rock Rocs while the ladies all sit around and yell at adventurers to jump off the cliff. As a ruler, he sucks. As a dad, he's non-existent. As a husband, he's basically one step above Tim the Toolman Taylor. Unfortunately, what he lacks in brains, he more than makes up for in brawn. I don’t recommend testing how sharp his claws are unless you want the testing article removed permanently.
Boyd pressed himself tightly against the Cliffs of Agony. There is no way he would have a chance against a Rank 104 Boss, particularly with Souldrinker broken. That thing was certain death if it saw him. He tried to control his breathing and hide as best he could. Fortunately for him, the Harpy King was mostly interested in looking for Rock Rocs to eat, and hadn’t considered the idea that adventurers might make it past his horde of screaming Angry Harpies.
Once he was certain the Harpy King was gone, Boyd walked back up to the Angry Harpy. “Hey, do you have a name?”
“Jump off the Cliffs, oh adventurer, jump off the Cliffs.” She stopped singing, “He’s gone for sure. Hey why aren’t you jumping? Also how are you talking to me?”
“Oh, I’m immune to Seduction. Can most people not talk to you? That’s awful sad. Bet you get lonely up here. Hey, do you have a name?”
“Yea, I’m Lisa.”
“That’s…not what I expected you to say.”
“Oh, well, I am Lisa all the same.” She smiled and placed her wings under her chin and batted her eyelashes. Boyd found it cute.
“Ok Lisa, well the good news is that we can talk. You seem awful unhappy with this Harpy King guy. Maybe I can help a bit?”
“Help? With my dad?”
“The Harpy King is your Dad?”
“Well, yea… He’s the Dad to most of us. Our moms are all on the top of the Cliffs. Most of us just take turns sitting here singing while he flies around looking for Rock Rocs.”
“Maybe we could help each other then. What if I got rid of him for you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, I mean like take care of him.” Boyd drew his finger across his throat.
“You’re going to kill my Dad?! Why do you think I would help you with that?!” Lisa’s face turned red and she ran towards Boyd angrily screaming and flapping her wings. A distortion in his vision appeared in his vision where her mouth was.
SYSTEM: You were hit by Harpy Sonic Scream. You are immune to its Seductive effect but suffer 30 damage.
Life 81/111.
Boyd realized he might’ve overstepped his bounds a bit. He didn’t have a weapon but he could still punch and kick using his Monk skills, and his shiny metal foot pads didn’t hurt.
The Harpy tried to slash with her claws, but she was slow and surprisingly weak. Boyd dodged it and punched her a few times. He felt instant pangs of guilt as he had been taught never to hit women. He realized his Momma would be very disappointed in him for this action, regardless of the fact this creature was also part bird and very aggressive. He quickly decided that this wasn’t the course of action he wanted to take and was trying to figure a way out of hitting her again when she slashed his arm.
Life 57/111.
The slash on his arm drowned out his Momma’s voice and reminded him this was indeed life or death. Remembering that a Harpy wasn’t a Human woman, but rather some sort of Zenith generated death machine designed to kill him, he strayed from his Monk skills and went back to his more reliable fighting style, “mimicking MMA shit he’d seen on TV”. He had a solid 100 pounds on the Harpy so he did what anyone with a weight advantage would do and bear hugged her when she got close again. He was strong enough to quickly get around her back and then initiate a choke hold. He expected the standard level of resistance, but the Harpy’s neck was more bird-like in nature. A quick choke crushed her windpipe entirely and she crumped to the ground.
SYSTEM: You have slain Lisa the Harpy. You gain 230 experience. You cannot Assign Ranks until you resolve your Broken Swordsoul status.
SYSTEM: Achievement Unlocked: Asshole, Mark III! You know how there is that one guy who always makes right turns out of the left turn lane on a red light? Or the guy who steals someone else’s drink at the coffee counter because he doesn’t want to wait on his own? There is a word for those people. It’s Asshole. The Asshole Achievement has multiple Marks and it looks like you skipped at least a few of them with your recent actions. To recap: a lot of things have killed a lot of other things in history. It’s an inherently violent world out there. It takes a special brand of shithead to meet something, learn its name, befriend it, and then kill it all in the same conversation though. That sort of instant betrayal gets a name. That name is Asshole. Note: this Achievement has up to ten Marks. Increasing Marks will increase the Reward. Note: receiving this Achievement bars you from receiving any Achievements higher than Mark III in the ‘Nice Guy’ Achievement Line.
You don’t get experience for this one but you do get a title.
New title unlocked: Kind of a Prick.
Boyd didn’t know titles existed but saw that he could add “Kind of a Prick” to the end of his name display if he wanted. He quickly decided against this though, realizing it wasn’t likely to win him any new friends.
The whole encounter was a useful conversation though. He realized he just needed a mild adjustment in how he approached Harpy negotiations.
The voice came through like a megaphone in his ear. “BOYD, THIS IS MERLOT, HAS YOUR PLAN FAILED? I AM SPEAKING TO YOU VIA TELEPATHY. I CAN ONLY DO THIS FOR A LIMITED TIME.”
Life 55/111.
He didn’t know how to respond, so he walked to the Cliffs of Agony edge and waved his hands with a motion he thought would mean “No.” Merlot’s Merrymakers seemed to understand.
“WE UNDERSTAND, PROCEED!”
Life 54/111.
The voice boomed in his head again. He’d end up dying of auditory damage from Merlot’s screaming in his ear if the Harpys didn’t get him.