Dear Journal,

I don’t even care about everything that’s been happening to us lately, because I’m in love! And when you’re in love, does anything else even matter?

So, I didn’t write yesterday because my date with Hansen (that was really supposed to be a scavenger mission rather than a date, but come on, it’s not like we can really just stop by the movie theater quick or anything) ran super late. Like, so late that I was really worried that my mom was going to come out of her room and yell at us when we got back. She didn’t even check to make sure that we were okay, though. It kind of feels like, ever since we got here, she hasn’t cared about anything at all, even me, which really sucks because throughout all of this, she’s always cared. She might have even cared too much for my liking sometimes. But she’s never not cared. But it seems like something just pushed her over the edge, and I think that something was Mr. Williams and Hattie.

But anyway, enough of that sad talk! I got up early yesterday because I wanted to make sure that I would be up in time to leave with Hansen. It meant I was accidentally up like a couple of hours before we left - even before the 8 AM alarm rang! But it gave me plenty of time to make breakfast (eggs again, which I was almost already starting to get sick of, but it’s not like there were a lot of other options - my mom hadn’t thought to grab any of the additional muffin mixes when we left the coffee shop, and we’d run out of our last made ones the day after we arrived). While I was eating, Rex came down again, and it’s so weird - we must have like the same exact schedule because he almost always comes down when I’m in the kitchen. But whatever, he made some eggs too, and then came to sit down with me. He asked me why I was up so early, and I said that I was going out to scavenge with Hansen, and he asked if I wanted him to come with. I told him no, because like, why would we want parents to come with us on the one chance we had to hang out? And he said to come get him when I changed my mind, like I would ever do that.

Anyway, Hansen came down a few minutes later, ate a quick breakfast, and then we headed out. But he was kind of giving me weird looks as we were leaving, so as soon as we were out of earshot of the dude guarding the door, I asked him what was wrong. He said that there wasn’t anything wrong, but it was just weird that his dad always seemed to be around when I was around, because his dad wasn’t usually even there, and he’d seen him around the power plant way more since we arrived. I told him that was really weird, but maybe he just decided that he wanted to be around more. Hansen said that was unlikely, and I said, who knows, maybe he’s got like a crush on my mom or something, and that made him laugh at least.

I’ve got to admit, I’ve been on my fair share of dates, but they were usually to like a movie or a football game or something. I’ve never had a date that involved so much walking around and looking for stuff. Or so many dead bodies, I suppose, but that was kind of becoming the norm for most thing.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Anyway, we walked for like a couple of hours looking for things, but it seemed like all of the areas anywhere near the power plant were pretty picked over, so Hansen said that if we wanted to find anything, we might have to go farther and spend the night. Now, journal, I know I just said that my mom was acting like she didn’t really care, but at that point I was still holding out hope that she’d act like my mom, so I told him that I couldn’t, because if I was gone overnight, my mom would kill me. And he was like “oh, your mom doesn’t want you out alone all night with a guy?” And I had to explain that no, she never really cared that much about that, but she just really didn’t like letting me go places on my own in the apocalypse. He seemed a little deflated by that, but like, what did he expect - that I was going to be single for my entire life until I met him??

But anyway, I was thinking back to my breakfast and I was like, well, maybe not tonight because I wanted to be back before dark, but maybe if we got permission, we could make a trip back and forth to the coffee shop to get some more supplies that we’d left behind. I didn’t super want to go back, but I also didn’t want the stuff we’d found to go bad if there was still stuff that we could use, and my mom and Ben had removed the bodies anyway, so it wouldn’t be as bad.

Hansen considered it for a moment and said that he’d be willing to go back there if I was, and I said that I was because of the same reasons I mentioned, and he was like okay cool, but then he got all quiet for a little bit while we walked. But then, all of a sudden, he asked me if I knew what really happened to Mr. Williams and Hattie, and I was like, all my mom said they were killed, but that didn’t super make sense to me because in all this time exploring, there was like no one else that we’d ever seen. And he was like yeah, and then was just kind of sad at that, but at least it made him drop the subject.

We got close enough to see the power plant just as it got dusky, but instead of just going straight back, Hansen stopped me and told me that the building had lights on the outside anyway, so it’s not like it’s hard to make it that far in the dark. And then, he pulled out two sandwiches that he must had made himself before we left! He handed me one, and I swear it was the best sandwich I’d ever had in my life. We ate basically in silence, and when we were done, I started to get up to head toward the power plant, but Hansen just laid down on the ground as though he didn’t care that he was going to get super covered in ash. I pointed that out to him and he just shrugged and said he would shower. And then he said that if I wanted to lay by him, I could borrow his shower too! So obviously I did, and we laid there and looked at the stars above the ruined city together for so long that I almost fell asleep!

Part of me is glad I didn’t, because I really don’t want to have to wake up in the ash if I don’t have to, but on the other hand, maybe that would be enough to make my mom care again.

Anyway, at the end of the night as we headed inside, I was kind of hoping he’d kiss me, but it was also really kind of awkward because I was going to go use his shower, so he didn’t. But we made some plans to go back to the coffee shop and grab anything that my mom didn’t get, so maybe, when we don’t have the shower to deal with or a guy guarding the door staring at us, he’ll actually go through with it. A girl can dream!

Love,

Kayla