Dear Journal,

Guess what? It’s actually the next day! I knew you’d be proud, even if it’s still nowhere near January. At least I’m getting better at something.

So last night, we were in the kitchen forever! I’m pretty sure my mom just forgot that we were even in there, but eventually she came into the kitchen and told us we might as well leave. She and Rex had been done talking for quite a while anyway, and he ended up staying the night, which I could tell my mom was super unhappy about, but it’s not like she could actually force him to leave or anything. Rex has got to be literally like twice her size!

In the morning, Rex said he was going to head back, and Ben actually stood up and volunteered to go with him! He said if he went with, he could go scope out the powerplant and see if it could sustain all of us if we decided to go other there eventually. I thought it was a great idea - not that I totally want to leave the coffee shop or anything, but eventually the food around here is going to start to run out and we’re going to have to move anyway. Not that the food around the powerplant won’t run out, too, but at least Rex lets people go off and try to find food, even if they have to spend the night out of his control.

My mom, unsurprisingly, was super not into the idea, though. She pulled Ben back into the kitchen area where we’d been hiding all of last night, and while we can’t hear what’s going on in the kitchen nearly as well as the kitchen could hear us, it didn’t really matter because the face my mom was making was a face that she only made when I was in super huge trouble. I think the last time she made that face at me was when my friends and I decided to take her car out for a joyride, and we ended up hitting a small pole. The pole didn’t even break or anything, but my mom was all like “this is grand theft auto and that’s a serious crime that will totally affect your future!” Little did she know how little any of that affected anything. I could have been rotting in jail for all it mattered! Although maybe not actually that - I doubt they were fireproof.

But anyway, my mom drug Ben into the kitchen, and he must have gotten the scolding of his life, because by the time he got back, both his and my mom’s faces were so red that you’d have thought they’d been out in the sun for too long. But whatever my mom said apparently didn’t matter, because without saying much else, he and Rex packed up and headed out the door.

I kind of wanted to go with them, but I knew that there was no way that my mom would ever let that happen. And unlike Ben, I’m not immune to her yelling at me. So instead of offering to go with, I just left it as is.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Frankly, though, unless Ben comes back and tells us that Rex’s place is awful, I’m tempted to go join them. And I don’t think it will be terrible - after all, Hansen seems to like it, and thus far, he seems like he’s had pretty good judgement about everything. Well, except for maybe when he tried to talk to my mom even though she was threatening him, but he couldn’t really help that. My mom’s been kind of hard to read since the end of the world.

Speaking of my mom, though, as soon as Ben and Rex left, she seemed super sad, and I didn’t really know why. Maybe she was just upset about losing a member of our already small group? Or maybe she was regretting not going with Rex after all? But that didn’t make any sense - if that was the case, she could just say “hey, I think we should all go with” the next time he comes around. It might be a little hard to get Mr. Williams and Hattie there, but between the other four of us left, I’m pretty sure we could come up with something. Maybe a sort of stretcher system? That’d probably get super heavy as we went, though.

Anyway, I don’t like seeing my mom sad, so once she finally sat down after fully barracading the door again, I went to go sit by her, just like we always did before, expect before it was usually me who was upset about something that now just seems like stupid small stuff while she was the one who would comfort me. But now, it had to be the opposite, because despire her helmet and ripped up clothes, there was definitely something kind of fragile about her that I can’t put my finger on. Anyway, I sat next to her and eventually rested my head on her shoulder as she just sat there and stared off into space for a while, and I don’t know if it actually helped her at all, but I like to think that it did.

I talked to Hattie about it later, because Hattie has lived for long enough that she totally understands like everything that someone could possibly go through (which I know sounds crazy considering we’re all going through something that nobody else has gone through before, but she still somehow has the vibe that she knows just what to do at all times, you know?). I was telling her about it, and she said that she thought my mom might have been upset about Ben leaving, which duh, she got upset right after he left. But then Hattie said that she’d been wondering if my mom and Ben had something more special than friendship going on, and I told her no way - even though my dad had not always been the nicest person to her, she’d always been incredibly loyal to him, and I honestly don’t think she’d start that now. Granted, he’s almost certainly dead, so it’s not like he’d probably mind it anymore anyway.

But whatever. I just hope that my mom gets out of her sad funk and goes back to just being crazy. Crazy I can deal with, even if it doesn’t make sense. Sad, though, is a lot harder, because I don’t know how to help with that. It’s not like I can just play along and pretend to understand her like I can when she’s being crazy. Although I am a little sad that I’m not currently with Hansen because of how ridiculously hot he is, so maybe I can work with that?

Anyway, with Ben gone, my mom wanted us to rearrange and inventory all the food again, so we can better divide it amongst the six of us. I guess that means she’s already decided that Rex’s place is so good that Ben won’t be coming back? I guess that’s progress, at least!

Love,

Kayla