“This… is the greatest book… I have ever read!” said Horan between sobs.
“Then I guess I picked well.” Mark peered ahead as he thought he saw something on the horizon.
“The back says this is the first in a series. I need the rest. He just wants to be with her… But everyone says he’s a monster! Because he is one!” He broke down. “It’s just like my life!”
“Well, maybe you can find the next one here. We’re coming up on a city.”
Horan looked out the window. “Is it populated?”
“No clue. Either way, keep an eye out for demons.”
“I already have an eye out, idiot.”
“Oh, shut up.” Mark stopped the car at the crest of a hill and motioned for Horan to follow. The hill overlooked a ruined city which Horan surveyed while Mark checked his map. Mark checked in after a minute.
“See anything?”
“Well, something’s moving down there. Could be humans, could be demons. You figured out where we are?”
Mark looked at the coast. “Well, the road signs on the way here call it ‘Antakya’, and my map calls it Antioch.”
“They’re the same city, the name is just in different languages. Probably.”
Mark put the map down. “Oh. Wait, how do you know that?”
Horan shrugged. “Eh. You humans invented language barriers yourselves, Primoi don’t bother with it. D-did you not notice I was speaking English when we were talking to people in Arabic?
Mark raised his arm defensively. “I thought it was a bilingual thing, get off my back!”
Horan snorted. “Did you just ignore that? How are you never confused by anything?”
Mark huffed. “I’m confused by a lot, I’ve just learned that asking questions just out of curiosity only gets you more confused.”
“You have a truly bizarre worldview.”
“I live in a truly bizarre world.”
“That’s true.”
Mark got up and folded up the map. “Alright. Think we should head over there?”
“I don’t see why not.”
The two got back in the car and began driving towards the city. As they approached, three specks in the air emerged from the brush and moved to the road, about 200 feet from the city limits. As he approached, Mark realized that the three specks were very distinctly demons, with their various animalistic faces and armour that looked like they came from a convention being a dead giveaway. Not taking his eyes off the demons, Mark hissed to Horan. “Demons! Get down!”
Horan looked around the largely empty car interior. “Get down under what?”
Mark sighed. “Just… shift into a bird or something and don’t draw attention to yourself.”
Horan quickly shifted into a falcon and crawled under the driver’s seat. A few moments later, the demons held up their hands and signalled for the car to stop. One of them walked to Mark’s door window and motioned for Mark to unroll the window. “This area is currently not under the control of Lord Thel, civilian. We advise you to turn around and go somewhere else. Seriously, place is filled with a bunch of whackjobs. Three of our patrols have already gone missing around this place”
Another demon walked up behind the first one and snapped her fingers. A small spark flickered into existence just in front of her. The demon waved her arms, and the spark flew in front of both of Mark’s eyes, causing him to blink from the brightness. After a few seconds, the demon snapped again, and the spark faded out of existence.
“He’s clear. Both real.”
Mark sucked in a little breath. “Why, uh, why would I not be clear?”
The first demon shrugged. “Ah, don’t worry about it. It’s just Thel told us to be on the lookout for some guy called Horan. I think he’s his brother or something. I don’t know, I’m not paid enough to care.”
The third demon walked over. “Li, we aren’t paid anything.”
Li sighed. “My point exactly, sir.”
The second demon chimed in. “We’re just checking people who pass by for no left eye. Apparently, it’s a dead giveaway, even if he’s shapeshifted. You appear to have both eyes, so you’re good to go.”
Mark grinned nervously. “Yup, all fine here!”
The third demon, apparently the leader, leaned on the hood of Mark’s car. “This isn’t why we’re here. We’re just a checkpoint to keep an eye on those ruins. They’re a pain to conquer, and Thel’s sending every demon he’s got to India or Greece. We’re just waiting until he sends someone to help deal with them. The best we can do right now is try to starve them out, so we’re blocking all travel into and out of the city. So, you can’t come in.”
Mark nodded. “Alright, you got it. Not touching it.”
Li stepped away from Mark’s car. “Alright then. You can be on your way now, and remember to be on the lookout for a seven-foot-tall guy with one glowing blue eye. Him being gone is less work for us and it’s a solid reward for you.” He pulled out a papyrus scroll with a full-body drawing of Horan on it. “The other details Thel gave us aren’t very good, but I think from the drawing that he can turn into a chicken.”
An indignant squawk came from under Mark’s seat, which made Mark jump in his seat. The demons looked at him with confused suspicion. Li spoke first.
“Uh, what was that?”
Mark panicked. “What was wha- Nothing, I, uh, I farted.”
The third demon looked unimpressed. “That noise came from you?”
“Y-yeah! You, um, you know us humans. Bodies always acting up.”
The second demon looked through the rear window. “Sounded like a bird. Do you have a pet?”
Mark leaned back and tried to obscure her view of the car’s interior. “Yup! Pet bird. But, uh, he’s shy, he doesn’t like strangers looking at him.”
The demon looked away, dejected. The third demon stepped forward and put his hand on the open windowsill of Mark’s door. “Alright, get out of the car.”
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
Mark gripped the wheel. “Wh-why? There’s nothing, um, nothing in here.”
“Fine, then. Thanks for making this so much harder than it has to be.” The demon pulled up the lock thing on the inside of the car door and tried to pull the door open before Mark grabbed the other end and held it shut.
“Really! I can just leave. Yeah, let me do-“ Mark stopped when Li held his sword up to Mark’s neck through the open window. He let go of the door as the demon opened the door and motioned for Mark to step out.
Mark’s racing mind was interrupted as something in the city briefly flashed, causing him to blink. A split second later, he realized.
Mark ducked under the console as a bullet passed cleanly through The first demon’s head, killing the demon instantly. The other two demons scrambled for cover, a cry of “Sniper!” coming from the second one.
Four figures ran out of a building on the edge of the city, aiming wooden recurve bows at the remaining demons. The second demon went down before she even noticed them, while the third took to the air before being shot down like a clay pigeon.
Hunched behind the wheel, Mark watched through the open door as the third demon, arrow in his shoulder, attempted to crawl away desperately before a masked, hooded figure ran up and pinned him down. Drawing a kitchen knife from their boot, the person neatly sliced the demon’s throat before sheathing their knife and standing up.
Mark quietly opened the glove box and pulled out a pistol, aiming it at the stranger. Horan crawled out from under the seat and shifted back into human form, banging his head on the ceiling. “Gah! Ow! What’s happening?”
The person turned and looked at the car. Mark aimed his gun at their chest, and Horan shook his bruised head before getting up and looking through the rear door window. “Wait, are they with us, or...?”
The person waved over the other three people, who readied their bows and approached the car slowly. Mark gripped his pistol and called out in Arabic. “Don’t come any closer, or I’ll shoot!” When the people looked between each other and shook their heads, he said the same in English, still to no effect.
Horan unrolled the rear window and leaned out. “He says he’ll shoot you if you come closer. I believe him.” This convinced the people to stop. Horan climbed out slowly, arms raised.
Mark tried to grab Horan and missed. “We’ve been over this, you’re being an idiot again!” he hissed.
Without taking his eyes off the strangers, Horan responded calmly. “I don’t think these are people we want to get into a fight with, and you don’t exactly have a way with words. Lemme handle this.”
The first stranger spoke in Turkish, with a woman’s voice. Mark couldn’t understand a word she was saying, but Horan understood her perfectly.
“You’re right on both counts. Now tell your friend to put the gun down before one of us does something we’ll regret.”
Horan gestured at Mark to lower his pistol.
Mark kept his gun trained on the woman. “I’m not putting anything down until Robin Hood and her merry men here get rid of their toys.”
The woman didn’t know what he said, but understood the meaning. “He knows we have a sniper. Tell him to put it down or else we take both of you out.”
Horan saw the glint of a scope in his peripheral vision and sighed. “Just put it down, don’t get us killed.”
The woman stepped forward. “I think you’re supposed to translate it for him to understand, you’re still speaking Turkish.”
“Uh, no, he can understand me. See, I-“ Horan was cut off by Mark clearing his throat. Horan turned to look, and Mark was frantically gesturing for him to be quiet. Horan turned back to the group and continued. “I’m not here to cause any trouble, and neither is he.”
Mark lowered his gun hesitantly, but stayed hunkered down in the car. “We’re just here to pick up a few supplies, and we’ll be on our way.”
After Horan translated, the woman huffed. “We don’t usually let outsiders in. You’d best just go around and leave us alone.”
“I mean, there’s nothing to fear with us. We’re not demons or anything. Speaking off…” Horan gestured at the corpses strewn nearby, turning to Mark. “They do this?”
Mark nodded, which made the woman cock her head. “Seriously, does he speak Turkish or not?”
“Yeah, about that… If I told you that one of us has a bounty on our head placed by Thel, would you turn it in?” Horan said over the frantic shushing noises made by Mark.
“We’d be more impressed than anything,” said the woman.
Mark got out of the car, keeping an eye on the spot where he thought the sniper was. “Horan, don’t you da-“ he groaned as Horan shifted back into his true form. Reaching back for his pistol, Mark stopped as the people dropped their bows in awe. One of the strangers muttered “That’s a lot taller than a demon…”
The woman stepped back, looking Horan up and down. “What… are you?”
Horan grinned and puffed out his chest slightly. “I am Horan, true pharaoh of the Egyptian Primoi and the guy who’s going to take down Thel! Please, one question at a time.”
The people looked among themselves. The woman spoke up. “Can, uh, can we have a time-out? Just a chance to think about all this for a second?”
“Sure, talk about it for as long as you want.”
Mark rushed over and grabbed Horan by one arm. “Hey, while you talk about whatever, lemme just borrow this guy for a second.”
As the people huddled, Mark dragged Horan to the other side of the car. Horan opened his mouth, but Mark immediately spoke over him.
“Right when I start to think you’re not a complete idiot, you go ahead and pull something like this? Unbelievable, Horan, now we have to run before they turn that sniper on us!”
Horan scoffed. “Don’t be so paranoid. They said they wouldn’t turn us in, didn’t they?”
“Have you not heard of this little idea called lying?”
“Of course I considered that. Unlike you, wandering aimlessly across the empty desert for what few years you’ve been alive, I have been living an active social life for the past several millennia. I’ve learned a lot of ways to tell when a person is lying, and that chick wasn’t lying.”
“You couldn’t tell when Thel was planning to betray you. Or when I scammed you into signing the contract. And I’m a horrible liar.”
Horan limply raised an arm. “Yeah, well, I… I’m not a polygraph, I’ve just learned to read people’s tells, okay? Just let me handle this one, and try not to mess it up.”
“Don’t come crying when they start shooting you.”
Horan walked out from behind the car to see that the people were lying prostrate on the ground. Mark stepped out and looked at the people in confusion. “Did-did I miss something?”
The woman spoke, not taking her face off the ground. “Someone has finally come to the aid of Antakya. Mighty Heron-“
“Horan.”
“Mighty Horan has descended to our world to defend us from the demons consuming the planet! We are sworn to serve you for as long as you keep our loyal city from being swallowed by evil. Will you protect your devout followers?”
Horan’s eyes widened. He looked back to Mark, who simply shrugged. He turned to the people, who remained unmoving. “Uh, can you give us another second to, um, think? About this?”
“Whatever you wish, Your Brilliance.”
“Awesome.” Horan grabbed Mark and walked backwards behind the car. Once they were out of sight, he grabbed the side of the car. “Okay. Alright. What do you think?”
“What do I think about what? What did they say?”
“Oh yeah. So, I think I started a cult. They’re calling me ‘Your Brilliance’ and asking me to defend the city from Thel and stuff.”
“…Okay. That’s a development.”
“Exactly. So, what do you think? Should I stay?”
Mark paused. “Well… Don’t we still need to get to the Greeks? Thel is still a problem.”
“Didn’t you hear those demons? They sent an army to deal with them. Either the Greeks are already dead, or we have to get past thousands of Thel’s goons. It’s probably best if we just stay here and avoid getting noticed.”
“I… Alright. Let’s just… check these people out. See what the situation is. We don’t have to make a decision just yet, and we could get something out of these people while we’re here.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Horan stepped back out from behind the car. The people were still on the ground, completely silent. After looking at them for a few seconds, Horan cleared his throat.
“Alright humans, I’ve decided to humour you. I’ll come with you to wherever you live, and see if it’s a place worthy of my presence. You, uh, you can get up now.”
The people hastily stood up and picked up their gear. The woman spoke up. “Um, thank you, Your Eminence. We hope our settlement is to your liking. Keep it together, guys.”
Horan walked between the people. “Alright then, lead the way.”