Chapter 93: Not Okay
Joseph ducked the right hook from the black-furred male, Jax pulling the fist back in time to block the retaliatory barrage of jabs and straights. A jab of his own forced the Human to retreat, sweat dripping off his nose from the long sparring session.
“So what’s happening with Harrow?” he asked, bracing himself to absorb the kick to his ribs with his braced arms. A quick flick of a foot to the male’s knee buckled it, his returning leg just barely supporting his falling weight to prevent the crumpling.
“She will divulge such in time, Grand Hunter,” Jax huffed, favouring one side over the other. The two circled one another slowly.
“This is going beyond what I’m okay with not knowing, Jax,” Joseph warned, letting the title slip as he pushed aside a punch to get a free shot at the Lilhun’s stomach. The massive male grunted, but managed to keep himself free from a follow-up with a carefully timed strike meeting the air in front of the Human’s face.
“It is her decision,” the black-furred male insisted apologetically. “Were it myself, you would know as soon I had breath in which to share.”
Joseph grabbed a loose straight, rolling himself under the arm and using the height disadvantage to pull Jax over his shoulder, offsetting the weight with a shove of his foot and pulling with his hips. The larger of the two combatants became airborne long enough to slam onto his back, Joseph gaining a full mount and placing a palm against Jax’s chest, a fist held at the ready.
“That’s match,” the Grand Hunter gasped out, the tightness in his elbow reminding him not to try that shit again for a while. He let the fist loosen and the arm fall to his side, resting his weight on the soft, yet firm cushion Jax had become. A wary glance down at the panting male confirmed that he was fine supporting it. “Seriously, she’s been a bit off since Bratik came with the servants, but it feels like every day she’s getting worse.”
“Find yourself wishing for my mate, Grand Hunter?” Jax asked with a chuckle, staring at the ceiling as he controlled his breathing.
“Jax.”
The male nodded, looking off to the side to gather his thoughts. “She will tell you when the time is right.”
“Tell me what?” he protested half-heartedly. If Jax insisted that it wasn’t his business, then it could just be something alien like an estrus cycle or something screwing with his friend. Though he would rather not ask about the particulars of it from her, he supposed he could bring it up with Pan or... No, just Pan. Tel would jump at the chance to say it existed, even if it didn’t, just so she could drag him away from things when she was bored. It didn’t stop her much now, but she at least waited until his work was mostly done.
In retrospect, he was better off not asking at all.
A large black-furred paw rose to rest on his shoulder. “I care for you as much as my own blood-kin, Joseph. If I believed it to be detrimental for you, it would not be a conversation we were having at this moment.”
The Human stared for a few seconds, closing his eyes to exhale heavily, his heart rate finally settling. “I love you too, buddy, but you gotta understand where I’m coming from.”
The rumble of mirth shook him. “I do, my friend. We know you care for us; we just ask for privacy for this matter.”
He glanced down, groaning as he let himself fall backwards, laying down on the laughing furry mat of a Lilhun. “Sure it’s not something I can help with?” he prodded gently, not wanting to give the impression that he was forcing the issue more than necessary. “You know I love her too, right? You shitheads are probably half the reason I’m still sane. If you need anything, just say it.”
“Your groin removed from my face would be preferable,” Jax managed between bouts of chuckling. “Unless this is a Human proposition?”
He patted the side of the black-furred male. “Too sober for this, buddy. I’ll get up in a sec- Ow.”
The Head of Security laughed as he rolled over, depositing the Grand Hunter carelessly on the floor. Joseph stayed motionless on the cool wood, allowing it to drain the heat that the activity had built up.
“You know,” he muttered into the ground, his face pressing into the surface muffling the sound. “You’re supposed to buy me dinner before we start with the rough stuff.”
“All this time, and we neglected to feed you before offering you our bed,” Jax mumbled in faux shock. “I must discuss this with my mate and prepare a feast.”
“Fuck you.”
“I see it is working already!”
An exaggerated growl of resignation came from the crumpled Human, the hours of practice and recent switch to using Lilhun as a primary language giving it a feral and guttural quality. He waited for both of their chortling to calm down before speaking quietly. “You’re sure she’s okay?”
A paw patted his back twice. “Nothing that will be detrimental, Joseph, I assure you.”
He turned his head to look at the male. “Did I do something?”
Jax shook his head, the smile and thankful expression disarming further questioning.
“Just let me know,” Joseph repeated, rolling onto his back. He took a minute before accepting the helping paw Jax extended, grunting as he was pulled to his feet.
“I will be sure to do as such when she is prepared,” the black-furred male confirmed, his singular functioning eye looking at the Human fondly. He clapped a paw on Joseph’s shoulder, sliding it to his back and ushering him out of the Gym. “Come, I believe this sun shall be when the visitors finish our conversation.”
“Can we go back to discussing getting down with you and Harrow?” Joseph whined. “Honestly, figuring that out sounds better than whatever the fuck is going on there.”
Jax snorted, giving him a heavy push forward towards the hub. “Seek us after the meeting, if you are still of the same mind, Joseph. If you still wish to trade both of our manhood to Tel for a moon of curiosity, we can speak of it as much as you wish.”
Joseph rolled his eyes, pushing open the doors and shooting Jax an amused look that faltered, a deep exhale following an averted gaze. “At this point, I’ll be happy not to have the military stomp in and take you guys away.”
Jax caught up to the Human’s slowed pace, draping an arm over his shoulders and pulling him in. “The only thing taking us from you will be the Void, Grand Hunter.”
“I’ll kick its ass, too.”
A secondary squeeze conveyed more emotion than words ever could. “As will we. Come, we should wash off, no? Your sweat has soaked into my fur.”
Joseph patted the male on the stomach. “You wanted to spar without the conditioner on, but yeah, I feel gross. Let’s go.”
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Harrow finalized the preparation for using the exterior speakers of the den for music. She wanted to have it going in time for the last celebration, but some coding issues persisted as she learned the terminal’s programming language. It had still worked out—Joe had played the ‘guitar’ on the spot, and Tel made a surprisingly good singer—but it had taken the wind out of her sails a bit.
Hearing the emotional scarring pour through the excuse of song gave the orange-furred female a sense of perspective of just how badly his previous mate had hurt him, and the occasional conversation about his past completed the picture. Either on their own invoked a morose image, but in combination they tore at her, uncovering years of burying her trauma.
Not that there was much shielding her from the fragile being she used to be after more recent events. It made not attaching herself to him all the more difficult.
The terminal room door creaked, Jax peering in for a while longer than most would take due to his injury. He smiled when he saw her, the bond lightening her own dour mood. He didn’t get much of a chance to speak before she had walked up to him and buried herself into his fur, the scent of shampoo doing nothing to hide what she needed. Deeper breaths sparked a sympathy in her mate, his large paw resting against her back, his claws brushing the fur at her neck soothingly.
“Are you well?” he asked quietly, tightening his hold with his other arm. She nodded, though it was a poor excuse for an affirmation.
“I’m fine. Are they holding the meeting this sun?”
Jax squeezed her, letting her press off his chest when she was ready. “We are having it in the Hall. Will you attend?”
She shrunk slightly, remembering how enraged even the thought of being removed from her new family made her. “I don’t want to inconvenience Joe.”
Her mate smiled sadly. “He asked for you to accompany, actually.”
Harrow stared at the floor, a paw grabbing her elbow.
“He is also worried for you,” Jax continued, cupping her jaw softly, using his claws to bring her gaze level with his own. “I wish not to hide it from him.”
“I...” she started, faltering as soon as breath was consumed. “I will. Just... Not yet.”
“There is only so long until he discovers.” His expression fell as she deflected her eyes from his. He leaned forward, kissing her snout as he rubbed circles into her cheek. “He will be ecstatic, you know.”
“But what if he isn’t, Jax?” she queried, a hint of fear underlining her words. “What if-”
“Then we will have words,” Jax affirmed with a stern scowl, the tension fading as his understanding smile returned. “Have faith in him, as he does in us. It wounds him to have you so distant from him.”
Harrow stared into her mate’s eyes, searching beyond hope for a lie. For any reason to toss aside the stupid yearning that persisted, no matter how much she thought better of it. After failing to find one, she lowered her gaze. “Is he ready?”
Jax imparted another peck of affection before standing straight. “He is donning his armour, now that being shot on sight is less of an issue.”
“But being shot is still on the table,” she muttered, displeased by the involvement of the same organization that raised her—though ‘raised’ was a strong word. She closed her eyes, exhaling the breath that filled her lungs. “Let’s go. He’ll want us there.”
Jax nodded. “And we will wish to be there.”
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“Hey, Harrow!” Joseph greeted as she entered the office, the greymaw eye sat atop a small pedestal on the corner of his desk in front of the increasingly thin tablets. Perhaps it was time to start calling them ‘sheets?’ He flicked down the hood of his ‘Wraith armour,’ letting the moss-wolf skull rest against his shoulder blades.
She returned a wave, Jax giving her a light squeeze across her shoulders before walking over to Sahari and Nalah to chat. Pan watched Violet snuggle into her adoptive blood-father while he tried to remain seated from the intensity of the contact, a smile being her salutation of choice for the orange-furred female.
“Hey, Joe. Are they coming?”
The Grand Hunter pushed the excitable young Queen to a reasonable distance and fixed himself in his seat, a paw resting on the insects back to rub lightly. “Tel is off to lead them in.”
Harrow tipped an ear, easing as the conversation continued to stray smoothly away from her behaviour unlike she had feared. “Why Tel? I get having someone keep tabs on them, but you have the Wraiths.”
The Human shrugged, a smile forming at Violet’s purring, his wandering claws finding a sweet-spot that he wasted no time in scratching at. “She insisted on it. I’m not too thrilled about it either, but she asked me to trust her, so I didn’t have much choice.”
He rolled his eyes in self-deprecation at his admitted weakness to his mate’s wishes. Pan’s serene expression spread to her eyes in mirror of his less obvious emotions, Sahari glancing over with a smirk. The black-furred female paused in her speech to join Joe in his acknowledgement of the matter, a bemused sigh uttered before returning to her conversation surrounding the newest armament the pack was equipped with.
His expression faltered for a moment, Pan’s following suit with a concerned glance. He met her gaze, grinning wryly. “Just wondering how Rob is doing.”
Harrow’s breath caught in her throat, releasing it instead of prodding at him in humour as she intended. “Still nothing?”
“Nah,” he drawled slowly. “I know he’s not exactly stuck on a deadly shit-hole like us, but I can’t help but worry.”
“He’ll call when he can,” she found herself assuring him, a sting of her own lacking sibling contact feeling fresh as the words left her muzzle.
Joseph snorted. “He’s missed a lot. I’m not sure if he’ll rip me a new one, or offer real estate as a wedding gift.”
Pan tilted her head. “Wedding gift?”
His brow rose in confusion. “Oh! Right. Never explained that part.” He shifted in his seat, patting Violet for his freedom. The Atmo accepted the request, nuzzling the white-furred female before joining the group across the room, Jax accepting the den-kit naturally under his arm without thought. “There’s usually a ceremony where things move from engaged to married. People typically give gifts to congratulate the newlyweds. I just figured Rob would do something over the top like giving us our own house or something.”
“Like, back on Earth?” Harrow asked, curious about living on a planet full of Humans with the pack. Joe thought for a moment before scrunching his face in doubt.
“Probably Mars, if I had to say. He lives there, and would have work for us—assuming he didn’t just rain housing and a pension on us to get rid of the cash burning a hole in his pocket.” He winked at the orange-furred female. “Get you and Jax a nice place with a view, huh?”
Her ear twitched as her amusement fell to mild distress, though Joe didn’t seem to notice. “Me and Jax?”
The Grand Hunter chuckled. “Yeah. Something nice and private. Likely stupidly big, knowing him.” He waved a paw at the Sahari and Nalah. “Might need to stick us closer together because of the bond, but you guys will probably have first pick of a newly developed zone—maybe a beachfront property, once those are up. Invite us over for barbecue every now and then. I’m sure he could use a security expert and someone who can shred through learning new systems like you. Might get some cushy job with an office out of it.”
His words tore through what little ease she had established, her panicked protest stalled by the door to the office opening, Tel entering first, followed by the two UM members. Faye and Raine took up positions behind them, their servile appearance giving the impression of waiting for need of their services, while Scarlet brought in a tray of drinks, Joe’s usual tea being the only steaming cup.
Conversational time coming to an end, the pack took to standing closer to Joseph’s side of the room, the Grand Hunter accepting his beverage of choice with thanks. Harrow reluctantly joined her mate, Jax rubbing her back in support after having missed what had her patting down the fur on her thigh as a physical attempt to press down her anxiety.
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“Take a seat,” Joseph offered, though his learned Lilhun conveyed it as an order. Regardless, the dark green-furred male and his purple-furred accompaniment accepted, the male taking the lead in conversation. Violet placed herself next to her adoptive blood-parentage, scribbling a quick greeting that was returned with conflicted nods before they addressed the seated Human.
“Thank you for meeting with us.”
Joe waved it off, adjusting his hood so that the macabre adornment wouldn’t dig into his back as he leaned into his chair. “I take it you’ve finished with what you needed to do?”
Leader nodded, his posture attentive and polite as always in an unnatural way. “We have completed the interviews and read the report you provided.”
The Grand Hunter paused, his cup just touching his lips before he lowered it to hover in front of his chest. “And?”
“Starting with the interview first, since I believe that will be the shortest of the topics,” the male offered, gesturing loosely with a paw to confirm that Joe was willing to accept. Receiving an affirmative, he looked to the female seated next to him. “Tech has the exact numbers, but I believe we have eight Lilhuns who wish to reintegrate.”
Tech agreed, her gaze fixed on the disappointed expression on Joseph’s face. Giving a ‘what can you do?’ shrug, he took a sip from his drink, Leader shaking his head in disbelief.
“Eight percent,” the dark green-furred male murmured, composing himself a moment later. “Regardless, it leaves us at a bit of an impasse.”
The Human adjusted in his seat, leaning forward with a curious raise of his brow. “How so? You asked, and most said no, right?”
“Yes,” Leader confirmed, a claw extended to preface the time he needed to phrase his continuance. “But the issue of your status as an independent party remains—even ignoring the fact that you’re not one of us.” He rested his paws back on his lap, sinking into the chair with a thoughtful expression and a nasal exhale. “As it stands, I’m not of the authority to arrange any dealings with you.”
“Sounded that way last time,” Joseph warned, the pack intensifying their gaze at the implications. Harrow grew worried, silenced only by the Grand Hunter speaking further. “Plan to go back on your word?”
The dark green-furred male’s eyes widened, oblivious to Faye and Raine placing a paw to their weapons in preparation. “No, no. It’s that I must wait for command to discuss how we should proceed.”
Joe drew a breath, placing his drink to the side and interlacing his claws on the desk. “You can take those who wanted to go, but you’re not stripping away people who found a den here.”
“And we won’t,” the male assured, tugging at his sleeve to adjust some apparent discomfort. “But we also can’t promise you what we have to the others.”
“Which was?”
Leader’s speech stalled with an open mouth, Tech voicing the response with much less in the way of reservations. “Trill has bargained for sovereignty—based on the fact that he was never of our structure, much like you. Sunundra has agreed to give us an answer after meeting with you.”
Joseph ignored the annoyed glare that the dark green-furred male gave his other, opting to address the female. “And I can’t have my own little slice of the land because of my species, right?” Tech nodded.
“Though I can’t say for sure what they would say on the matter, I can say that your involvement with the Union will influence their decision on what to do about everything.” She leaned back in her chair, moving her hindquarters forward to compensate for the lack of reclining available. “Their goal will be to inhabit the planet. You being here makes that a complicated issue.”
“As correct as she is,” Leader interjected tersely, giving Tech one last sharp glance, “that, in turn, puts us in a difficult position.” He gestured towards the Human. “We need to consolidate the packs, one way or another. Be it through sovereignty, reintegration, or categorizing them as uncooperative and treating them as a potentially hostile element to pressure into compliance at a later date.”
“And the closest we fit into is ‘uncooperative.’” the Grand Hunter surmised, disapproval slowing his cadence. Though he waited for the tentative nods of agreement, he received a conflicted grimace instead.
“Specifically, your situation is closest to a hostage situation,” Leader clarified morosely, gesturing with a paw to ask for time to expand on the assertion. “You are a member of an openly hostile entity, and are ‘restraining’ our people. Even if the methods seem to be purely beneficial and they show no desire to rectify the arrangement.”
Joseph held back a snarl, his lip twitching until he rested his head against his thumb. “Because there’s no saying if I have some way to influence their decisions that you couldn’t account for.”
“Correct,” the male sighed. “Functionally, no matter what the actual situation details, you are an enemy combatant—one of considerable station, given that you are effectively a representative for your people on the planet. It means that any sort of agreement with you would need to be passed along far above our authority, and only after making it perfectly clear that you have not trespassed in any form.”
“Jesus fuck,” Joe muttered in English. “God, I wish Rob was here to deal with the red tape.”
Pan wrapped her tail around his leg, offering a gesture of comfort. Harrow wanted to do the same, but the need was secondary to making sure the soldiers remained harmless.
“So,” the Human barked in exasperation, reverting to a language everyone could understand. “That’s on hold until people with more guns than sense can show up to point the former at me.”
“Possibly,” Leader acknowledged sombrely. “The report should at least discourage such aggression, but with you being the only one of your kind here, there is no saying if they would simply seek to solve the issue quickly and bury the evidence of it ever existing.”
Tel giggled from the side of the room, one of her daggers being twirled in her paw. “Fear not, my male. Eliminating problems is what I excel at.”
Joseph glared at her, but there was a distinct lack of genuine disapproval visible. Even Pan seemed to ease a bit with the grey-furred female’s declaration of destruction. The Wraiths in the room smirked, knowing that they would be called upon, should the need arise.
“We’ll save the drastic measures for if they try something,” the Grand Hunter decided, surprising Harrow with his acceptance. Jax’s paw moved to her shoulder, squeezing firmly, his stoic expression hardening further. It was clear her mate was ready to lay down whatever was needed if it came to that.
“Which brings us to the aforementioned report,” Leader continued, only a passing regard for the blatant threat moving his expression. He inhaled deeply, his brow furrowing in conflict. “Assuming it was not merely fabricated, do you believe it to be true?”
“What part?” the Grand Hunter asked, massaging his temple. “The Union basically kidnapping people to torture? Killing people just to see what happens?”
“The bonds.”
Joseph blinked. “Well, I can’t say I don’t believe it. There’s two people in this room bonded to me, apparently.” He glanced behind him at Harrow, the return of his focus pausing on Tel and Scarlet with unvoiced suspicion. The two Wraiths raised a brow at his consideration. “Possibly three.”
Both of the UM members narrowed their eyes. “You jest.”
The snort surprised them, Joe gesturing with his paw to Pan and Sahari. “You’ve already talked to them, and I know Pan told you outright.”
A confirming glance to the black-furred female was returned with a nod and a smug grin. “It is true.”
“That...makes this complicated,” Leader admitted, the news deflating him.
“Stealing the gift from us, Human?” Tech provoked, irritation present in her tone. Harrow was about to snap at her when Sahari laughed, placing an arm around Nalah.
“My mate is bonded to me, new one. Who is to say what was stolen?”
The purple-furred female’s mouth fluttered as she tried to rebut, growling softly in frustration when words failed to form. Leader raised a defeated brow at her. “It was as Head Harrow claimed.”
“Doesn’t mean I like it,” she grumbled, crossing her arms after tapping her audio interface twice.
“Like it or not,” Joseph voiced tiredly, rubbing his face with his paws before letting them fall to the desk, one being moved to pet Violet as she grew restless with the conversation. “It’s what happened. I went over it, same as you.”
“Where did you get it?” the dark green-furred male inquired, apprehension on his tongue.
“Friend of the family,” he replied lazily. “We know someone on the inside and they were kind enough to dig up the files.” Joseph patted the den-kit, smiling weakly. “It’s how we found out about what happened with these guys.”
Violet shrunk, cuddling up to her adoptive blood-father for comfort, Pan loosening her tail to join the display of affections.
“Which brings us to Sunundra,” Leader asserted, a curious eye given to the couple coddling the young Queen. A blink was all it took to redirect his attention back to the conversation. “And please don’t react rashly—I am merely the messenger.”
He waited for Joseph to give some form of agreement, confusion showing as the Human muttered something in English about shooting one. With a steadying breath, Joe nodded, motioning for the pack to temper their expectations. Leader nodded, a pause taken to confirm that those around him were little more than irritated, rather than ready to cause a repeat of Rose and Cobalt’s threat.
“Sunundra wishes you to relinquish the Atmo to her possession.”
The bang of a fist cracking the tabletop startled all in the room, save for Pan, Tel and Sahari. The white-furred female placed herself in front of Violet, Tel postured herself to eliminate the two possible threats in the room, and Sahari took a step closer to the door, the Wraiths following suit. A single syllable was all that stood between the soldiers and the Void, and the heartbeat of shock provided ample time for the remainder of the pack in the room to gather their faculties to support the obvious suggestion of them moving to abscond with the young Queen.
“Try saying that again,” Joseph growled, barely restrained fury enhancing the already guttural Lilhun language. The dark green-furred male held his paws up in surrender.
“Not by force,” he clarified quickly, an eye glancing to those in combat stances. There was an analytical edge to his gaze—one that became resigned as he realized how prepared the pack was to spill blood for their den-kit. “She wishes to come to an agreement.”
“So, that’s what she wanted to meet about? My kit?”
“She wishes for a conversation, if nothing else,” he assured, relaxing as most of the pack eased off their aggression. It never returned to the casual atmosphere, the Wraiths were fully prepared to dispose of them at a moment’s notice, but the false sense of peace played to their favour if any ideas were had.
“I refuse,” Joseph spat, not withholding his disgust for the notion.
“Even if she currently has several hundred?”
Silence permeated the room, Harrow’s fur standing on edge at the cold tone the Grand Hunter voiced. A glacial freeze poured out of his lips like evaporating liquid nitrogen threatening to steal the warmth of a soul, Tel’s muted giggle accenting the promise of blood.
“When and where?”
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“Are you sure about this?” Harrow asked, nervously fidgeting with her claws. It was an annoying habit to have, but in the absence of something to tinker with, it was the best she had. Joseph chewed his cheek, checking his equipment and backpack on a table in the hub to ensure he had everything he needed for the trip.
Due to the agreement with Sunundra, the UM members were obligated to transport the Human to the settlement of the Grand Huntress, a trip that would take several suns. Were it to be travelled as they were accustomed, that would reach a time frame that neither Joe nor his bonds wanted to test. No one was excited about him leaving on a military scout ship, least of all him, but he had insisted that he had to go—if only for Violet’s sake, the den-kit having said her farewells the moon before and was currently still sleeping, the sun only just barely rising in the distance behind the walls.
“Nope,” Joseph admitted with a sigh, the stint of rest giving him time to cool down. “But it’s this, or we leave the Atmo somewhere we don’t even know if they’re being treated well.” He fell quiet. “Knowing how Hasen treated Volta when she brought Cobalt and Rose around? Well... I don’t have high hopes.”
“So what are you expecting to happen!?” she demanded soulfully, pleading that he would see reason and change his mind about going. He gave a wry smile, wrapping an arm around her to pull her into his chest, the open coat allowing her to press against the thin fabric over his skin. She stiffened at the sound of his heartbeat, wondering if this would be the last she heard it.
“I’m trying to go into this without thinking about that,” he replied softly, his claws scratching between her ears. “Hopefully, we have an actual conversation, maybe manage to arrange something for the Atmo. Hell, maybe this is what brings our people together.”
“You can’t know that,” she whispered, the sound of footsteps and a closing door telling of the rest of the direct pack approaching to see him off. Reluctantly, she parted from him, the fresh dampness of the fur under her eyes alerting her that her emotions cared not for how presentable she wished to be. Joseph wiped a tear, his smile tearing her in two.
“I’ve had to wing-it the entire time I’ve been here, Harrow. I gotta do what I think is right.”
“Preferably while returning whole,” Sahari opined when she got close enough, pausing to allow the orange-furred female time to distance herself from the Grand Hunter. Joseph nodded dejectedly, grunting in surprise as the ex-Grand Huntress entombed him in a tight hug, utilizing their moderate height disparity to leave his feet dangling.
“Sahari. Breathing,” he wheezed, patting for his release. She did as requested, but took the opportunity to bury him between her breasts, nuzzling his hair and mussing it up in the process.
“You will return to us. That is not a request,” she warned, vulnerability showing for a moment.
“Noted.”
Harrow managed a small show of amusement at the muffled voice, sinking into Jax when he draped his arms around her. Even without the bond, she could tell he was worried for their friend. There was every possibility that the soldiers would do something to him, or that Sunundra would kill him over the Atmo. Yet none could deny the male of his conviction, instead delegating themselves to ensure he knew what awaited him.
“That will not be possible if you suffocate him, Sahari,” the black-furred male quipped, though without his usual energy.
Sahari freed the Human in time for Nalah to impart her own embrace. Thankfully, this one didn’t involve any possibilities of ending the journey before it started. Joe shifted to return it, rubbing her back and separating without any discomfort.
“Hey, I’m not going alone or anything,” he assured them.
“Taking only Tel isn’t making us feel better,” Harrow chastised. “Why can't we go?”
“Because they are of a small vessel,” Pan explained as she walked past, her drooped ears showing how dispirited she was to see her mate leave. Especially after how long he took to return the last time he had left. She passed Joseph an additional change of clothing and some extra dried meat that he quickly added to his supplies, smiling at his thankful expression. “They explained this already, Harrow.”
“I know,” she muttered, deflating as her protests remained unheeded. “But he needs someone to make sure he comes back.”
A tap on her shoulder left her staring into Tel’s unamused gaze, the Wraith having appeared without notice, as per usual. The orange-furred female fought back the yelp of surprise, Tel grinning in response.
“You doubt my ability to deal with issues?”
“You are likely to be the cause of them,” Sahari retorted, her arms crossed, weight resting on one leg. Tel rolled her eyes as she straightened her posture, glancing over her shoulder at the black-furred female.
“I have more to serve than my amusement now.”
“That you do. Ensure you are mindful of it.”
The two stared each other down, suspense building until a shared simper released it harmlessly. Harrow looked between them, unsure of what had transpired, but thankful that it didn’t lead to anyone getting hurt.
“I won’t be gone too long,” Joseph chuckled, shaking his head at the display. “Shorter than the trip to Trill’s, anyway. I don’t even have to sleep in the woods.”
Pan returned an understanding nod, but her disappointment never faltered. “Are you prepared?”
He accepted the light tugs and touches she performed on his clothing, her desire to see him off warming the otherwise stiff expression. “I have my new bracers under the Wraith armour, spare clothes, food, and a crossbow hidden in my coat if I need it for whatever reason.”
“He has myself as well,” Tel added, standing to his side as she adjusted the strap of her backpack, her own supplies pulling on her shoulder.
“We’ll be fine.”
The white-furred mate failed to smile, looking to the floor for a long moment. Eventually, she met his eyes, a slight pain tinting her voice. “Return. Even if they are not well.”
Joseph’s face fell. “Pan, you know I want-”
“We need you,” she implored quietly. “I need you. Our kit needs you.” She raised a paw to cup his cheek, her loving gaze absorbing his features. “Return to us.”
He inhaled through his teeth, holding it before releasing it all at once, resignation flowing from his breath. “You’re right.”
“I love you,” she whispered, letting him follow her paw downwards for a kiss.
“Love you too,” he returned, his half-lidded gaze conveying the sentiment louder than words. “I’ll come back. Promise.”
“I will ensure he does, Pan,” Tel said with a small smirk. “Even if I must drag him kicking and screaming at the cost of myself.”
The Paw turned towards the grey-furred female, conflict behind her eyes being followed by a gestured request for Tel’s ear. Curious, the Wraith complied, met on the descent with the same affection afforded to Joseph. Tel shot straight when their contact broke, blinking and wide-eyed. Pan touched her lips with a claw, refusing to match the startled gazes of those around her.
“You as well,” the white-furred female added softly, the hint of a blush colouring her fur slightly. “I will not forgive you if he is the only one brought back to me.”
Tel opened her mouth to speak, failing after a few attempts. She gave a bewildered look to Joseph, his surprise being all he could return, but he eventually started laughing, the rest of the pack following suit—save for Harrow.
A knock on the hub doors signalled the end of their farewells, and stifled any attempt for prolonged confusion regarding Pan’s unexpected gesture. Joseph gave everyone one last hug before departing, requesting that they don’t burn the place down before he got back. All Harrow could do was watch as the male let the door close behind him, parallels drawn between the last time she had done something similar.
Small, worried, and reassured by vacant vows of return, she watched her blood-father depart to take care of something she was too young to understand. Warm words of prosperity for their den lingered in his wake, cooling as suns turned to more, and those turned to seasons. Each moon was spent staring at where the last sliver of his form once occupied the doorway, desperately wishing he would return to save them from his absence. Each rest prefaced by giving the door her well wishes, hoping he could hear her.
She was walking away before she could process it, silent tears flowing unbridled, deaf to the voices that asked if she was okay. She needed to drown it out. Distract herself. Stop the memories.
The terminal was the obvious choice; her paws shaking and vision blurry, spectres of faded faces telling the young kit that they had not been abandoned, only for those too to disappear, one after another, recollections of smoke listing through the air surfacing when the final form dissipated.
Quickly, she put on something loud and rhythmic, relying on muscle memory and a playlist she used whenever she was alone in a room and needed help to keep her focused. The bass vibrated her chest, stilling the rapid strike of her heart as she fought off a panic attack, her breathing shallow and erratic, the scent of ash and flame assaulting her senses growing more and more vivid.
Thankfully, none sought to disturb her attempts at controlling what wished to reign over her, and she managed some modicum of distance from that which ravaged her soul, the steady drums and electronic melody giving her mind something to deconstruct and analyse without requiring dexterity her worn nerves couldn’t provide.
The music cut off just as she was about to consolidate her rampaging emotions into something she could work with, the terminal screen displaying an incoming call. She answered in reflex, Robert’s office playing a backdrop to the cheerful male wearing unusually casual clothing.
“Harrow! God, it’s been a while, huh?” he greeted with a broad smile, his typical mug of coffee looking to be freshly poured, but the signs of tiredness were nowhere to be seen. If anything, he seemed more alive than he ever did. “How’s Joe? Can you get him? It’s been forever since I’ve had the chance to see what he’s been up to.”
Harrow’s voice cracked, the progress she had made crumbling to dust. She kept it quiet at first, but her tears flowed anew, drops cascading down her fur until she buried her face in her arms, her knees pulled up to support them. Then the control failed, a lonely kit losing the last of stability in her world cried out, bitter and wanting. Wracked sobs turned into keening wails as she desperately prayed not to be left alone again. Not to watch as what she held dear departed before her eyes. For the kit not to lose their den when it was needed most.
Robert’s tone came worried and stern, a panicked edge carried quickly. “Harrow, what happened? Where is Joseph?”
She tried to explain, slurred speech hampered by sharp breaths.
“Harrow!”
“The military has him,” she snapped through a sob, clutching her knees as tight as she could. “I don’t know if he’s coming back.”
The elder brother’s voice steeled, his expression matching with a commanding glare that demanded answers.
“Harrow, tell me everything. Now.”