Chapter 29: Gifts
Jax leaned on Violet’s door in the dorm wing, his spear propped against the frame behind him as he crossed his arms and patiently waited. He fought off the yawn that his early rise had burdened him with and ruminated on the progress of their updated security measures.
Sahari had suggested an honour guard of sorts that she may act as when otherwise unencumbered by duties to ensure that Joseph remain protected when possible. Every member of the pack was aware how potent a foe he was, though his lack of weapons had compounded their worries to some extent. Jax would have written the suggestion off as purely unnecessary but the storm some suns ago and the subsequent telling of events from the involved parties had since brought to light the issue.
He initially suggested himself to perform the task but Sahari insisted that she be the one to act on account of her, for now, hidden bond. She claimed that she would be able to act more effectively due to siphoning his already alarming detection ability for her effect. It was a hard point to counter, so eventually they agreed to split the duties when possible since Joseph would be uncomfortable being followed around constantly and it would waste precious man-hours that could be spent preparing for the next task.
Which brings Jax to where he stands, bored and following up on a loose observation he had noticed the last few moons. He mulled over if it was even worth waiting here or if he should go assist Sahari with the expansion of the fence, it needing to be thickened and heightened to survive any more persistent wildlife that seemed to grow bigger with each passing sun as the pack’s presence slowly failed to deter them.
Joseph suggested they increase the size of the tempering fire into a longer, more rectangular pit instead of a smaller circular one and cover half with boughs on occasion to produce smoke that would drive animals away should they feel too curious. It showed promising results so far, the tracks from the ‘badgers’ have all but stopped encroaching on the territory due to it, so they made a habit of placing a layer on at dusk to continue the deterrence.
Eventually a soft click emanated from Joseph’s door, quickly followed by the gunmetal-grey silhouette of a Lilhun being barely illuminated by the dawn breaking through the skylights above. The motions were obviously practised, each flowing into one another with nary a hair of fur brushing against the surfaces involved, but the sheer desolation of sound put him on edge.
Tel silently closed the door behind her and allowed the latch to settle into its position, only exhaling once the barrier between her and the room was established. Her careful and controlled movements relaxed as she turned her back to him, not noticing his presence.
“Early rise today?” He commented flatly, causing Tel to flinch and stiffen in place for an instant. She glanced at him over her shoulder without moving before relaxing, spinning on her pads and sauntering up to him with a slightly more exaggerated swing to her hips than usual.
“Oh my, Jax. Curious what goes on in the Grand Hunter’s bed?” The words were poured out with a sultry and half-lidded expression. Her lean towards him seductive in nature as her eyes traced his body, lingering on his spear for a moment before returning to his face. Jax shook his head.
“Not as much as you are implying.”
Tel straightened up, tilting her head and clasping her paws behind her back. “No? I believe the situation speaks for itself.”
Jax narrowed his eyes. “That you have been sneaking into the Grand Hunter’s chambers? Yes. That you may have bedded him? No.”
“Oh, Jax.” She dragged out the syllables in a sing-song voice, closing the distance between them and propping his chin up slightly with a paw. “You needn’t be jealous, you do have Harrow after all.”
He snorted a laugh. “You smell of nothing but nerves, Tel.” Her tail flicked in time with an ear. Her voice shifting from a droll to a sharpened blade.
“You forget your injury.”
“You did as well.” Jax smirked. “Why have you been visiting his room by moon?” He rested his right ankle over his left while shifting his weight against the door. Violet was sleeping with Mama, so he did not care to soften the small impact on the wood that creaked against his mass. Tel stared daggers at him, shifting focus from eye to eye before snatching her paw away.
“Security must be boring for you to concern yourself with me of all people.” She took a step back, tail moving low and slow.
“I feel unauthorized entry into our leader’s room fits within my purview.”
“You guard his sex?” She snapped, ears almost flattening against her skull.
Jax pushed off the door with his shoulder, grabbing his spear in his right paw. “I guard him from those with unknown backgrounds intruding his rest.”
She twitched a paw to her hip, claw hooked slightly under her fur. “Quite the accusation, Jax.”
“I feel it appropriate.” He replied dryly as they sized each other up, both resting a mere vellication away from bringing their weapons to bear. He glimpsed the yellow of a quill beneath her fur that a claw had caught. “Tell me, Tel. You have refrained from being so forward until the storm, despite your flirtations. What changed for you to exhibit this way?” He relaxed his grip on the spear and allowing it to only rest on his claws, deciding that engaging in combat between pack members outside of the Grand Hunter’s abode would not bide well for either of them. Tel lowered the paw after a moment, her motions reluctant to abandon the defence.
“Nothing of importance, i merely enjoy going where i shouldn’t.” She ended the sentence with more confidence than she started it with.
He hummed a short reply. “Then i suppose i should discuss this with him.” He stepped past her on his right and reached for the door. A paw grabbed his wrist as he was about to turn the knob.
“Don’t.” He looked at her through the corner of his eye, her stiff posture and worried expression gave him pause.
“Why would i not?” He asked cautiously.
She held his gaze for a moment, then shifted it to the wall. Her words came out airy and soft. “He needs his rest.” He allowed the repeated implication of bedding to remain unaddressed.
“I believe knowing that he has a regular visitor counts as important enough to disturb it.” He loosened his grip on the knob.
Tel glared at him, removing the paw from his arm and cradling her own. “He can’t sleep since Pan separated from their routine. It is troubled and sporadic at best”
He abandoned his approach on the door, opting to face her with question in his regard. “So you inserted yourself in her place without approaching him first?” Tel dropped her gaze to the floor, tightening the grip on herself.
“It wasn’t supposed to be a regular occurrence.”
“You should not have been in there to begin with without invitation, and we both know he has made a point to deny your advances.” He stated pointedly. Her other arm mirrored the embrace of the first, words whispered.
“I was just checking up on him.”
He allowed his left leg to relax, shifting the weight to his right. “And that lead to you spending the moon? What, you ‘accidentally’ lay in his arms while confirming he did not perish from hypothermia to ensure the same fate not befall you?” His voice gained a growl in his doubt.
She leaned against the opposite wall, taking interest in a door down the hallway past him. “He pulled me in.”
Jax found himself caught off guard. “He forced his hand?”
She shook her head slowly. “Nightmare.” His eyes widened before shifting into a skeptical expression.
“I will humour the assertion. The subsequent moons?”
“More of the same.”
“And you have failed to bring this to his or our attention?”
She lowered her arms, defeated. “What am i supposed to say, Jax? Should i have just told everyone that he’s terrified of losing what he has gained since he landed? Repeat the terrors he has muttered?” She turned her head to look at him, all defensiveness removed. “I was surprised when he pulled me into his arms, Jax. He... He needs someone there.” She finished quietly.
Jax fought several reactions, settling on a concerned tone and softened brow. “And Pan has abandoned her self-asserted post entirely?”
She nodded softly. “She sleeps with the insects. I’m not sure why.” She glanced towards the hub doors. “He mentioned it in the cave. He feels he may have done something to distance her.” She gave a dry laugh. “Amazing what one will divulge when they assume you know not what they say.”
Jax twitched an ear, shifting his posture. Only him and Sahari were aware of her sync, yet due to Sahari’s request, they decided it prudent to let Joseph discover it himself since it did not impede his ability to lead while Sahari remained as she was. He ignored the comment to address the issue at claw. “To my knowledge, they are not bedding one another nor courting, it was simply an arrangement of temperature and mutual comfort.”
She chuckled quietly with a hollow inflection. “He would not allow himself to humour more. It seems he only allows such actions because she initiated... Now, with that gone, it eats at him.”
Jax lowered his head, scanning the floor as he thought about the correct course of action. “You do not think it important to request your presence?”
“Would he admit to being so vulnerable?” She challenged lightly with a defeated scoff.
He huffed, abandoning confrontation. “No, i suppose not.”
“He only just started taking his position sincerely, i wish not to discourage it.” She walked up to him, placing a paw on his cheek and guiding his eye to her. The pain behind her pupils gave him pause. “Let me soothe him. For now. Until another can do it openly. Please.”
He stared at her, taking a deep breath and slowly removing her paw from him. “I do not recall you acting like this before the storm. What happened?” She rested the hanging paw at her side, looking around the hallway and answering in a wistful tone.
“I’ve been told to do much, Jax. ‘Make it through this, with or without me’ has never been included on that list. Never has a handler endangered himself for his charge as he has done.” She met his questioning expression with one of certainty. “I will do all i can to ensure that he can command me further. Just let me protect him from the shadows, even like this.”
Jax stood straight, cycling a deep breath. “I feel your motivations have changed, Tel.” She nodded firmly, relaxing as he walked towards the hub. He called over his shoulder, quiet enough as to not disturb the resting. “Good. Speak to him about this. Ask him. I expect the next time i question it to be returned with a punch to the arm and being told to mind my own business instead of confusion.”
“Must i?” Her voice strained against her throat with the question.
He turned around, pressing his back against the push-bar and cracking the temperature seal on the door. “Either that or you ascertain why he rests alone, it matters not to me. I only care that he not be distracted by the avoidable.” Tel remained focused on the floor.
“He tried to kill you, Jax. Do you really consider him so fondly?” Her voice lacked an accusatory edge, merely curiosity was conveyed.
He laughed, swinging the door open and stepping through with his words following the closing entrance. “He is a male who has earned my trust, Tel. I consider him well. Perhaps a friend, even. Though i wish he would simply bed someone for his own sanity.”
“I tried that.” She muttered as the door clicked behind him. He simply shook his head and prepared to make his rounds outside.
“I guess it’s time to change your approach then.” He whispered to himself with a chuckle.
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“Stay still!” Joseph called out while trying to restrain Violet long enough for him to work the shell polish onto her carapace, the command weak due to the laughter that leaked through. “You were the one who was oh so curious about it.”
Violet chittered, splashing him while enjoying the rare shared bath experience with him. He managed to grab two of her legs, pulling her fleeing form back to him. “Jeez, almost swear you didn’t like me.” He chastised her with a smirk. She quickly spun with large paddle-like motions and used the sparse purchase with the tub floor to launch herself at him, sending the two floating towards the edge with a giggle.
“Okay, okay! I surrender!” He spat some of the water from his mouth, petting her head to subdue her watery attacks. “I love you too, but we need to finish this so you’re nice and clean for your new clothes.”
The mention of the recently completed attire pacified the Atmo, leaving her to dance in the water and push waves around while he worked the wax over her shell. He worked his fingers roughly over the carapace while smoothing the residue over her scales with a light scratching motion and enjoying the bonding time they lacked as of late.
Pan had only just completed a ‘winter-wear’ line of clothing for the two insects in preparation for a suggested bonfire to relax the tension the pack had built up over the weeks of endless work. Mama had been rather thankful for the return of an open fire in which she didn’t need to simply watch from a window and the ‘den-kit’ shared the enthusiasm.
Violet’s fidgeting broke him from his thoughts, shifting under his hands as he worked the wax into the base of her legs and arms. “Still. I’m almost done, then we can rinse you off in the shower and you’ll be nice and shiny to compliment whatever Pan has done up for you. Be sure to thank her, okay Violet?”
Violet purred in assent, allowing him to work through the last of the polish and final scrub. He quickly set the shower to a warmer temperature and instructed her to rest in the falling water for a while until all the excess wax had rinsed off while he bathed himself.
The door to the baths opened as he dunked himself under the water, rising from the depths revealed that Jax had entered and stopped to allow Violet to nuzzle him. His low chuckle and soothing cooing in his language rumbled the air.
“Hey Jax, we ready for tonight?” Joseph greeted the Lilhun, removing some hair from his brow with a casual flick. Jax nodded at him, taking a minute to rinse his fur down in the shower. The muscled form underneath showed that he had taken his training seriously and that although his own human form compacted his weight into dense muscles, Jax absolutely outclassed him in raw strength.
“The area has been cleared and the wood set. The weather looks to be cooperative as well.” He finished wetting the fur on his arm, forgoing the shampoo dispenser and simply joined Joseph in the tub. “I expect the pack will enjoy roasting the cuts of ‘deer’ that Tel has prepared for everyone. I believe she has managed to include a new seasoning.”
Joseph laughed, making himself comfortable in the water. “Hopefully she hasn’t managed to work out how to recreate a carolina reaper this time. I knew that berry tasted like roasted rubber but i didn’t want to know that drying it and crushing it into a powder turned it into a spice bomb.” Jax joined in his jovial display.
“No, we all requested that she not make more of that.” He glanced over his shoulder at Violet who was busy inspecting her now much shinier shell. “Though the Atmo seemed to enjoy it.”
The human scoffed. “Look at her. She’s either adorable or terrifying. I think eating five portions of that stuff fits into both.”
“Very true, Grand Hunter.” Jax acknowledged, settling himself across of Joseph.
“So, did you prepare something for Harrow?”
Jax leaned back against the edge, draping his elbows over the edge and allowing his head to dangle backwards. “I had Mama help me make an accessory for her. I took one of your suggestions since anything i could have thought of would have required either a computer or unknown technology.” He raised his head and smirked. “Of course, the last possible option was waylaid by a certain Grand Hunter needing rescue and subsequent improvement to our defensive options.”
Joseph grimaced. “Yeah, sorry. Seriously though, the last thing i want is for one of us to get eaten by ATV sized honey badgers. Best we expedite the recurve bow that Harrow’s been working on and get our fences high enough to discourage the animals. I promise you guys some time after the bonfire.” He put his palms in front of him to show he had no other intentions.
“As long as you do not intend to give her that gift yourself.” He ignored the extended finger from Joseph. “Have you decided who to give a gift to?”
“I got something small for everyone.” Joseph replied lazily, working some wax from between his fingers. “Not really much someone like me can offer, but i hope the thought is enough.” He chuckled to himself with a slight nervous edge. Jax waved the concern off, scratching his ear.
“I am sure everyone will interpret it as them being courted. At least you will not be alone during your rest tonight.” He finished his scratching with a grin.
Joseph opened his mouth, eventually releasing the breath as a sigh. He focused on Jax with a sharpened gaze. “Jax, bed me.”
“Nah.” The Lilhun replied with a grin.
“Darn. There goes my plans.” Joseph swung a crooked arm in front of his chest. “Guess I’ll have to ask your girlfriend.”
Jax chuckled. “Get in line.”
“Queue’s too long.”
Joseph dived to the side to avoid the splash Jax sent his way, both laughing as they carried on with meaningless conversations and jokes. Jax had proven that crass humour was a bit of a salve on Joseph’s nerves, a realization that the human much appreciated. He still felt guilty whenever Jax would need to turn his head more to look at something or the small look of regret on his face whenever someone mentioned the smell of something, but the Lilhun had assured him on multiple accounts that it was something he wouldn’t hold against him and his willingness to carry on with Joseph spoke loudest to that.
The gift exchange was prompted when Jax explained that mated groups would often give small trinkets to each other during times of celebrations and Joseph suggested that getting the base up to operable standards should be celebrated. Joseph offered several ideas for small accessories that Harrow may wear openly without interfering with her work and Jax seemed accepting of the input, having since been working with Mama on something for her. Joseph himself decided to set some time aside to carve out some items that could be distributed in thanks for their hard work.
“I guess we should go and get the Atmo set up.” Joseph suggested, standing in the water and making his way to the towels. Jax grunted in agreement, scratching Violet’s head gently before joining him.
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Pan adjusted the coat on Violet, quickly hemming any stray fittings that escaped her notice on the test-fit previously. Satisfied, she pulled the hood of the jacket over her head, the deer fur coating her with a thick layer of thermal protection.
“Let us show Joseph how pretty you are, yes?” She cooed at the Atmo, the latter bouncing in circles and admiring the black leather that hid the auburn fur that kept her warm. Pan chuckled aloud and directed her to join Mama in the facility wing hallway, pushing the door to allow the two to join the rest of the pack.
“Yep. I want one.” Harrow confirmed with a nod, testing the material as it hung from Mama’s arms and stroking the matching base cover.
“Pan, did you make them little booties?” Joseph sat on the floor, smiling as he inspected the fur coverings on their legs. Violet’s flared out with the contours of her form and had proven rather difficult to design compared to her mother’s more conical appendages.
Jax and Tel stayed back, one standing behind Harrow as his mate’s tail threatened to fly off in the excitement and the other sat on a table with elbows propped on her legs. Sahari stood behind Joseph and smiled to herself as he gave Violet a rub and told her how well it suited her.
“Yes, since the snow would take their heat even if they are near a fire. I thought it would be a good use of the material.” Pan replied softly, a small pang of guilt ran through her as she consciously decided to remain far enough away to dilute the intensity of the bond.
Joseph turned to smile at her, his face beaming. “Thank you. It means the world to me that you would do this for them.”
The distance did nothing to stop her heart from skipping a beat and her cheeks flushing when he looked so thankful to her. “I just thought you would like to spend some time with them by the fire since you mentioned it.”
His bright and enthusiastic demeanour changed to a soft expression full of gratitude as he whispered. “Thank you...”
“Of course.” She fidgeted for a moment before deciding to leave the area before she made a decision she might regret. “I will gather the meat up while the rest of you prepare your parts.”
His eyes opened wider for a moment when she finished speaking, a faint disappointment shown through. “Ah. Yeah, sure. See you outside.” He quickly cleared his throat and went back to pampering Violet.
She fought off the urge to embrace him and left the hub, walking to the kitchen and grabbing some leaves so that they could lay out the cubes for members to eat at their own pace. Her guilt for almost forcing herself on him had driven her to seek rest with the Atmo, the two proving to be accommodating to accepting her additional warmth when the temperature management system lacked. She fought with herself constantly in order not to simply lay paw to him and confirm his affection since the push and pull he exhibited emotionally and physically left her wanting his touch, yet fearing the repercussions it would have on him.
His attentions that were displayed wildly shifted between a deep longing and apprehension, as if he himself would burn should he wish for more than the slightly touchy friendship he allowed with every member of his pack. The instinctual pull she felt towards him clashed with the battle he himself waged within and she was not confident that she would be able to resist taking him in the brief moments that their wills coalesced. As such, she felt it best that the risk not be present and had removed herself from him for his sake when resting.
The remembrance of his sleeping yet wandering hands caressing her stomach while her fur danced between his fingers and his breath tickled her ear caused warmth to pool under her scar. The thumping heartbeat on her back would cause her own to push harder in response, his body heat seeping into her when she pressed against him. Her hips matching his in the light of the moon accompanied by soft moans when his grip lazily found its way to her throat, the grasp gentle yet firm, causing her to melt under his touch when his thumb traced her jugular. The deep frustrations within her demanded no fabric lay between them while she squirmed with ragged breaths.
She wrapped the first packaged of diced deer meat, each piece covered with a finely ground powder. The package was laid to the side as she allotted the second batch on its own leaf, regretting her decisions to separate from his intoxicating touch but knowing that he would be far more hurt if her willpower dwindled during those moments. She shuddered to imagine feeling that amount of betrayal.
The packaging was completed within enough time for her to decide that there exists little better time to ask him the nature of his affections than when everyone else has retired for the night, him expressing a desire to simply watch the fire die out by himself to ensure it is thoroughly extinguished in place of anyone else. He stated it was to allow everyone to get the proper rest but his hesitation was shared through the bond, so she wanted to stay with him and use the chance to talk.
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“Jax, I love it! Thank you!” Harrow launched herself into her mate, nearly removing him from his seat while everyone watching laughed. The silver band around the base of her tail almost glimmered the orange light projected from the fire, the intricate designs engraved into it highlighted by the flickering illumination. Her expression soured as she considered something. “I didn’t get you anything.”
“It was Joseph’s suggestion.” Jax offered, struggling to maintain his balance while still hugging the excitable Lilhun. Harrow removed her face from his chest to look at Joseph with a playful smirk.
“You missed your chance, no use buttering me up now.”
Joseph raised his eyebrows with his own grin. “Not quite done doing so. Here.” He handed her a silver ironwood choker from a bag next to his seat. The material was a mix of ashen black and shined metal, evidence of the tempering process that had been done with care. “I wanted to thank you for pulling so many hours trying to refine my half-baked ideas, so i made you something i thought you might like and wouldn’t get in the way.”
She reached out for it with an empty expression, lightly grasping it to inspect it before gingerly placing it over her neck. The clean split on the back allowed the wood to separate wide enough for her to don it and the flexible material regained its shape around her. She traced the accessory slowly along the rounded edges while sat on her mate’s lap. “Thank you, Joseph...”
The Grand Hunter nodded. “I know it’s not as fancy as what Jax got you, but i made it myself, so hopefully it’s up to your standards.”
“Nothing for me?” Nalah joked, drawing attention from the suddenly quiet Technology Head. Joseph reached into his bag again, retrieving another item and handing it to her with a smirk.
“A little utilitarian, but i know how much of a pain in the ass it is to constantly misplace tools. Thank you for helping me with my projects.” She accepted the slotted tool belt, currently outfitted with an assortment of ironwood implements for various tasks that would require them. She fitted them to her leather pants and ensured it would stay.
“At least now i won’t need to worry about losing shit in the snow.” She replied, downplaying her excitement and borrowing the swearing habit that Joseph imparted onto her. He grabbed another item, this time wrapped in a leaf, and handed it to Tel.
“I wanted to extend a further thank you. You really did save my ass that night and i couldn’t think of anything you might like, so i may have played into a stereotype from home. Hope it’s usable, i don’t have experience with them.” She unwrapped the bundle, revealing a thin rectangular holster for six blades with holes at the base of the thin handle. The implements rested at a forty-five degree angle with the rings facing up. “You use the flexibility to strap it to your thigh and the blades are pretty multi-functional. I think they were called ‘kunai’ but i was honestly going from memory. They feel balanced to me but, again, no experience. I’d be happy to make you better ones later once you played with them and find issues.”
As instructed, she used the large clasps to attach it to her leg, testing that it wouldn’t pinch her fur or move while not cutting blood flow to her leg. With surprising ease, she hooked a ring with her claw and spun the dagger around before effortlessly resetting it into its pocket. She remained uncharacteristically silent but quietly nodded, eyes focused on the ground while her tail wrapped around herself.
He lingered on her for a moment, a slight hint of hesitation and doubt lingered through the bond. He nodded, handing Sahari the next item, pausing when he noticed her crestfallen expression that lightened when she noticed it was her turn to receive something. She tentatively accepted the gift.
“Hardened knuckle wraps. You and Jax are our hardest hitters and that often comes with a risk of breaking your hands. Hopefully you’ll never need these, but if you do, I’d feel better knowing that you’d be safe while kicking ass.” His voice didn’t have the same energy as it exhibited before, but the care was still as present as ever. “I got Jax a set as well, sorry for the unoriginal gifts but I’d rather you both not hurt yourselves.” He tossed the second set to the Security Head who accepted it with a nod.
“Shame my gift was not you.” Jax replied dryly, testing the fit against his knuckles and nodding in approval.
“As much as I’d love to Jax.” Joseph ducked the snowball that Harrow tossed at him with a laugh.
“Mine!” She proclaimed lightly, grinning at the male’s jokes.
“Yes, yes. You can keep your boyfriend.” He reached into the bag, handing out two tablets to the Atmo. “These will let you guys hold your sculptures with less difficulty. Hope it helps. Both of you have been instrumental to... Well, everything. Thank you.” The two tablets had a slot that fitted over their blades and featured a shallow divot to act as a hold for whatever the two felt like working on so that they needn’t use additional support to manoeuvre their projects. Both of the Atmo accepted the gifts and nuzzled him with deep and thankful purrs.
Pan fidgeted in her seat in anticipation, only slightly curbed by the bonded hesitation as Joseph retrieved the last item in the bag. With a pause and a breath, he handed the last bundled item to her. She accepted it, carefully unwrapping it to observe whatever he decided to arrange for her.
“I noticed you have troubles with your coat getting tangled sometimes and stuff getting caught in it, so i tried to make you something to help with that. It was a bitch to temper, but i think it turned out pretty well.” The uncertainty showed in his voice as he watched with a baited breath.
In the bundle was a carefully crafted brush. Two lengths of bristles populated the head, one set longer and with rounded tips while the other was shorter with flat tips. The design was fairly simple but obviously made to be as comfortable to use as possible given the limited tools. It featured a crescent moon engraving on the rear and three symbols below it that must have taken hours to engrave and many broken chisels given the size and hardness of material. The bristles barely flexed but gave way under a moderate pressure so as not to hurt her nor snag on a tangle.
The group was silent, Joseph’s doubt growing into a moderate fear as the seconds ticked away.
“Um...” He swallowed, glancing at the pack. “Did i break a taboo or something?”
Pan placed the bundle to the side, rising from her seat and walking over to him. His seated height matched her standing one, bringing them eye level with one another. The pack watched quietly, Harrow gripping Jax’s paw while Tel chewed her lip. Sahari seemed to be a conflicted mix of expectant and cautious. Pan stared into his eyes and brought a paw to his cheek, him flinching on the contact.
She drank in every iota of him that the bond afforded and supplemented the rest with touch, her eyes wetting as she contemplated her decisions.
“Pan? You okay? I’m sorry if it was a bad gift or something, i just thought you would-”
His apology was cut short as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. She cupped his head with a paw, allowing the faint scents wash over her and the pump of his hesitant heart resonate within her. His tense muscles relaxed as he slowly returned the hug, confusion tinting the returned affection. Tears ran down her face, dampening his shirt as she tried to bury herself in his neck, a faint keening cry escaping her. Her grip tightened and the soft sobs gave way to an unabashed wail as she gave into her emotions, pawing at him to keep him close to her when he attempted to separate to confirm her well being.
“Pan, what’s wrong? Fuck, i can’t even give a gift right.” He grew angry with himself, guilt thrashing throughout him. She shook her head fervently, maintaining the encapsulation.
“I love it. I love it so much. Thank you. Thank you so much, Joseph.” The words came clipped as she fought another wave of blissful tears. Her heart flooded her with emotion in time with his own rhythmic life.
He stiffened. “I... I didn’t think a brush was this big of a deal...”
She broke into a relieved laugh between the sobs, murmuring into his neck. The stifled words falling mute despite the proximity. His scent filled her, the only pheromones she could ever detect. The one thing that she wished for from the depths of her heart now rest in her arms and she was too scared of losing it to the point where she willingly let it go. His scent obscured by wood smoke still carried every mote of the addiction he fed within her.
Joseph struggled to process the situation, rubbing her back gently and looking to the rest of the pack for an explanation only to be met with riveted and expectant looks. Pan drew a deep breath to stabilize herself, soaking in the faint musk of her bond with the ambient winter air.
“What’s wrong? Seriously, I can’t understand you and I’m worried i fucked something up on a colossal scale here.” He asked with trepidation coating his every word.
She drew back slightly, just enough to bring her muzzle parallel with his neck. She traced her tongue from the base to his ear, his taste like ambrosia that healed her wounds with a soft pulsing under it. The movement was slow and methodical, ignoring the flinch at the unexpected action and ending with her pressing herself to his ear to whisper her long discovered realization for him alone to hear. Her blood roared in her ears as her thumb traced his jaw on the opposite side, the hairs abating their stiff existence under her pressure. She did not need to consider the decision. There was no hesitation remaining of her own origin. She simply spoke the raw emotion that cried from her soul, uncaring of the result. She drew a stiff breath, pouring herself into him in the only way she knew how.
“Joseph, I love you.”