Chapter 44: Leaving
“I’ll ask again. Why am i the one doing this?” She asked, stretching forward on her knees and bracing a paw on the roof.
Joseph laughed as Harrow fiddled with the wires to the panel box with her free paw. “Because if i tried to teach anyone else, I’d spend the whole day explaining the circuits to them before they would even be able to touch these. Someone’s gotta do the checks while I’m gone.”
“Are you sure it isn’t so you get to enjoy the view?” She teased, wiggling her hips from her knelt position as she dug around for what she needed.
“I’ll smack you.” He replied flatly, though not bothering to deny it. She didn’t need to look over her shoulder to tell he blushed a bit, but she did anyway because it was funny to look at. She was about to make a suggestive comment involving that particular threat, but unfortunately, she had forgotten that it wasn’t a great idea to handle electricity while distracted.
She grumbled as another spark flew from two wires that needed to be rejoined, remembering the explanation for working with live lines being related to needing to reset the whole system. It would knock out the atmospheric regulators long enough to freeze out the Atmo and was discouraged because of it. Joseph had apparently dropped the amperage to negligible levels while she was working on it so as only to sting should she get shocked, but it didn’t make the experience any better. “Why are we doing this?”
“Because if you guys are going into the terminal to listen to music for hours at a time, we need to make sure the banks don’t run dry over night. This place is entirely solar and the strain on the system would empty them before sunrise.”
“So?” She asked, shooting him a glare in annoyance.
“So, we’d have to come out every morning to purge the capacitors and reboot the grid.” He replied with a smug look.
Harrow finished the join, allowing time for the self-healing polymer to forge the new connection between the two sheaths over the components. “And why haven’t you done this before?”
The Human shrugged. “Didn’t need to. It takes a while and it was getting cold.” He stared at her as if it answered every question she could ever have on the matter. It did, for the most part, which annoyed her a bit. It also sucked that she had to be up here to do the maintenance, but he had a point that she would be the only one reasonably expected to work on it. Jax had some experience with software, but the physical stuff was never his area. She didn’t like being on the roof as much as Joseph didn’t, but the implications of the task at paw did spark a follow-up question.
Her ears perked as she grinned at him. “Can we play those games now?”
Joseph frowned. “No. Sadly. It’s running the pod’s system through the outposts system as a shell. Really it’s like running a fast food business out of your living room; there’s only so much traffic it can support without major renovations and the container was never built for it. If we stressed the shell, the outpost system pulls several times its intended load and stresses the grid. Stress the grid, we pop a fuse and you’d have to spend hours trying to figure out which shade of blue is the fourteenth lighter in the spectrum from ‘true’ blue to sort it right. Unless you can detect colour by wavelength, I’d call that a pain in the ass.” The flat expression was marred by a deep aggravation. It wasn’t much of a stretch to think that he had been through it already.
“And there’s nothing we can do to circumvent it?” She asked hopefully, making sure to give him her dopiest expression by flattening her ears to the side and pouting up at him. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he chuckled.
“Unless you can make both thicker wire to support the current and larger capacity cells? No.”
She sighed, defeated and disappointed that she wouldn’t get to try out the entertainment. A curiosity crossed her mind. “You know a lot about this.”
The male shrugged, leaning over her to guide the wire back to its resting place as she sat on her haunches to stretch her legs. “Worked under a few techs of various fields for a spell or two. They often got called to fix fuck-ups like what you suggested from people who thought they could stress systems just a little bit harder than they were. We’re lucky that those places dealt with Union systems fairly often.”
“You quit?”
“Let go.” He corrected with a slight wince as he slapped the panel closed. “Figured out that they could hire students and use it as a tax write-off. Spent four months teaching my replacement. Nice kid.”
“You switched jobs often?” She asked passively as he helped her to her feet. The tightly wrapped harness dug into her fur, causing her to attempt to free a pinched tuft.
He relieved her of her plight, loosening the portion around her stomach to free the patch. “As often as they found reasons to ‘can’ me, yeah.”
“Bad worker?” She prodded with a grin.
“Bad timing.” He clarified, giving her a disapproving smirk as he started towards the ladder, Harrow following a half step behind. “Always ended up finding places that were desperate for workers until they noticed how much cheaper it was to run without those positions when they could just foist the bullshit onto someone else who was under-paid.”
They climbed down from the roof, Joseph untying the orange-furred female and wrapping the rope for storage in the small closet next to the farm. He had to jostle a hoe out of the way when it tried to escape as soon as the door opened.
“At least you learned a lot.”
The Grand Hunter considered it for a moment as he tossed the harness into the storage space. “I learned a bit. Broad but shallow, if i had to say. I’m pretty useless past the more surface level stuff, but i know enough in most areas to know when to call a specialist.”
Harrow hummed in agreement. “I only ever worked at a few things. Hard to really explore your career options when you grow up military.”
The Human raised an eyebrow. “I figured you were drafted. Struck me as an engineer or something before you got tossed into paperwork.”
She laughed, a slight melancholy staining her tone. “We can talk about my life story some other time, if that’s okay.”
He gave her a pained but understanding expression, resting a paw on her shoulder. “No rush, Harrow. We all have our demons.”
She stared at the ground, the yellowed grass beginning to come to life now that the snow had melted considerably. “Thanks, Joe.”
That caused a raised eyebrow and a soft chuckle. “Joe?”
Harrow perked up, slight confusion and mild abashment worn clearly on her face. “Sorry, Robert always called you it and it seemed pretty close so-”
“I don’t mind.” He affirmed, pulling her under his arm with a squeeze. “Just wasn’t expecting to hear that from you.”
She eased a little, returning the lopsided hug briefly. “It just seemed like something a friend would call you.”
He hummed loudly as if to agonize over her usage in that context, making sure to screw up his face in faux displeasure until Harrow jabbed him in the stomach. He laughed, releasing her to cough in an attempt to catch his wind. “Why is everyone so abusive lately? But, yes. You can call me that if you want.”
“You’re a smart-ass and you deserve a reminder.” She answered the rhetorical question to make sure he knew what he did wrong, pausing for a long moment with a genuine smile. “Thanks, by the way.”
He stretched out, bracing a paw against the storage closet to keep his balance. “For what?” He coughed again as a lighter punch connected.
“No reason.” She replied with a coy smile. “Now! We have to make sure you guys have enough ammo.”
“God, what have i done to deserve this?” She heard him mumble as she walked away. Harrow called out over her shoulder towards him with amusement in her lilt.
“You woke up. Come on!”
A strained laugh escaped him as he worked out the discomfort, one paw rubbing his side. “Yeah, can’t say i disagree with that assessment.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Everyone ready?” Joseph asked the gathered group at the gate. The weather had been accommodating enough to see them out under clear sky, the ground sporting only patches of the white powder and remnants of ice as the constant rain and warmer temperatures had worn it down. Harrow stood next to her mate, both quietly watching the Grand Hunter visually confirm the attire and supplies for the trip like a worried den-mother. He would make sure that everyone’s packs were secured properly, check the fitment of their armour, and recount his own supplies over and over lest he forget something.
“My equipment is all accounted for and my portion of the rations are stored.” Sahari confirmed with a small smirk at the male’s habitual inspection. Tel affirmed her status with a nod, a claw absently catching the ropes tied to two of her daggers as if confirming they were still in place. A curious choice for a weapon, if she had to say.
It was a unique idea to Harrow, the knives would be pulled by the line tied through the loop and swung using the centrifugal force with redirection based on where and when her paws intercepted the arc. She didn’t think it would be particularly useful, but a small demonstration left her jaw hanging as Tel accurately pierced several practice targets within seconds. The concern of the excess line dangling and dragging around behind her was remedied by using several thin sheets of circularly wound ironwood to act as a spring to recall the rope into a container. Joseph claimed it was inspired by a tool he had worked with called a ‘tape measure’ but Harrow had little to no experience with any line of work that would require the device he described, so she had to trust his expertise on the matter while noting the design in case she thought of any uses for it in future.
The armour that the three of them wore would not have looked out of place in any privatized military, it consisting of formed ironwood plates that were backed by palm so as to absorb shock from impacts and styled in geometric shapes to redirect blades or spears into glancing blows instead of gaining purchase. Their upper and lower limbs each had the protection in segments designed to not reduce range of motion, with Tel’s set being modified to be severely reduced in size and thickness by request. The Grand Hunter wasn’t happy about having her be less protected, but a quick argument about her focus on mobility and some very direct flirting disarmed the male enough to acquiesce.
“We are able to proceed upon your signal.” Mi’low affirmed as the cook secured her backpack for her. Their equipment was barely better than what they were wearing before, though Pan’s workmanship ensured the result looked far better. Harrow knew for a fact that the weapons that they had been allotted were of the best that Joseph had made, the two spears each taking a collective fifteen hours, so even if the High Huntress insisted on looking less able, they held a comparable force to the rest of the unit as far as melee potential went. It was a far cry from the tools that the Grand hunter and his two guards had available, but it would ensure they wouldn’t be left wanting in the middle of something.
Satisfied that they would be as prepared as they were going to be, Joseph turned to address the members who were able to see them off, his trench coat over the relatively thin armour swaying as he pocketed a package of rations for easier access. The pack had gathered in their entirety, Atmo in fluffy gear included, while the High Huntress’ send off was limited to Atrox and his mates, the rest being preoccupied with one activity or another. That, or they were using the lack of supervision to slack off.
“Looks like we’re good to go.” He stated weakly, the hesitation clear in his voice, but resolved to see the actions through. “Come here, fuck-nuts. I’m not leaving until i get a hug from each of you.”
Harrow laughed with her mate as they were once again reminded of how touchy his affection could be. None of the pack minded, even going so far as to be appreciative of how readily he communicated how much he cared for them. She took her turn first, closing the slight distance and pulling him in tight while avoiding the hard ironwood coating his chest.
“Work on getting bows and crossbows for the whole pack, okay? I know it’ll suck with less of us here, but at least make sure you guys can defend yourself when shit goes sideways, alright?” The Grand Hunter spoke quietly, wrapping his arms around her while tussling the fur between her ears. “And take it easy on Jax, no need of wearing him out when he’s trying to train up the new pack.”
Harrow glanced up at him, meeting the smirk of the male. She smiled, a little sad that her friend and pack leader would be gone and leaving her to simply expand on his previous ideas instead of being introduced to new ones with dubious use until they proved an interesting solution. “Stay safe, Joe. Though, no promises about Jax.” She ended with a wink that drew a defeated sigh from the Human.
“Close enough. Stay safe, you orange fuck.”
She separated from him and stepped back to allow the next person an opportunity to say some final farewells. Nalah approached for her moment, the two exchanging a surprisingly close embrace. The meaning behind the exceedingly close proximity became even more obscure as she apparently whispered something into his ear that caused a shocked expression, followed by a warm and knowing smile. The Grand Hunter responded quietly in turn, patting the blond-furred female on the back with a firm nod.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
“What did you say to him?” Harrow prodded, curiosity brimming within her.
“I asked him for a favour while he was absent.” Nalah replied as she regained her place for observation of the proceedings, her tone clearly stating that it was all she was going to say about the matter. Harrow frowned, but figured that it might have something to do with Sahari, so left it as it was.
Jax claimed his turn next, the black-furred male almost picking the Human up, much to Joseph’s amusement and distress. Once properly grounded again, Jax leaned in, placing a paw upon their leader’s shoulder and subtlety flicking his tail towards Tel while speaking at a low volume. Harrow burst out laughing as her mate received a none-too-gentle punch to the stomach that was used to communicate the disapproval of the comment rather than showcase any anger, an assertion bolstered by the flushed and embarrassed grin the male sported.
Harrow had been awake the moon that Pan had rushed back into the den. What’s more, she had noticed the scent that clung to her fur as the Paw briskly walked to the baths, unaware of the proximity of the orange observer. There was a very distinct lack of a particular smell in the concoction that stained her coat, so she was able to connect the dots and was more than eager to notify Jax that their white-furred female had taken a step closer to finalizing the pairing, but had not completed it. Jax was likely talking to Joseph to convince him to bed Tel so that he wouldn’t lose the bet that came from Harrow’s revelation.
She eyed her mate as he returned nursing the site of the impact. “What did he say?”
“I was told to ‘fuck off’, as expected.” He replied with a laugh.
“Think you’ll win this time?”
He absently scratched his chin as he thought. “Perhaps. Time will tell.”
“You’ll be rubbing my back for a long time, Jax.”
The male shrugged. “I believe it far from the worst consequence.”
She giggled as Mama and Violet approached as a pair and sandwiched the Grand Hunter between them with a hug, the Human laughing as he attempted to return both with little success. “Think that they’ll be okay with him gone?”
“They have us as well.” Jax assured her softly, a paw of his stroking her back soothingly. “Joseph will return before long. We must simply provide the affection to accommodate.”
She glanced up at him. “You really have grown to like them all, huh?”
“Your bond should tell you as much.”
She nodded, a small smile forming across her muzzle. “I know. I’m just glad that you’re happy.”
He leaned down to deliver a soft kiss, surprising her slightly as she melted into the warm emotions. “You are the reason i can be.” He grunted when Harrow punched the same spot as their Human.
“Sap.” The insult and embarrassed patting at her ears to control the flicking caused the male to laugh.
“That is mildly unexpected.” Jax commented while looking back to the Human once his chuckling had subsided. Harrow followed the gaze to see Atrox participating in their ritual while talking to Sahari, likely to translate. She looked amused as Joseph answered with a soft shake of his head, though the response to the possible query was a favourable one as the brown-furred male excitedly rejoined his mates, the two of them giving him an exasperated smile of support despite the method of asking. Or perhaps despite the request?
“Wonder what he wanted.” She pondered aloud, Jax shrugging when she checked for his input.
Pan went forward next and, curiously enough, pulled Tel aside for a private discussion while Joseph struggled to subdue the clingy den-kit who took the opportunity to receive a second round of hugs. The two females discussed something that seemed to have a serious tone to it, Tel looking to be mostly at the receiving end of whatever Pan had to say, before there was an exchange of sharp nods that left the Paw walking away with a smile and Tel rejoining Sahari with a placid expression.
Harrow tipped an ear in curiosity but didn’t have much time to formulate a guess as to the contents of the exchange before her mate patted her back.
“It seems it is about time for them to leave” Jax spoke at a low volume, oblivious to the conversation that happened between the females.
Pan approached her mate, surprising everyone by pulling him low for a rather passionate kiss and whispering something into his ear. The bright red face and excitement behind his eyes told Harrow that it likely had something to do with the moon that Pan joined him for his fire watch. She noted that Sahari seemed to fidget with her gear, the black tail swaying somewhat erratically behind her.
The two making a scene embraced one another tightly, the moment stretching for as long as was comfortable until they hesitantly separated. The Paw approached the two escorts, standing rigid in front of them with an air of authority that Harrow wasn’t expecting she was capable of.
She stared them down and spoke in their language, much to Joseph’s curiosity. “You will see him back to me safe and able. Such is your duty and your oath. Do i make myself clear?”
Sahari returned with an amused salute. “Of course, Huntress Pan. His safety over my life.”
Tel silently nodded, pawing to check that her assortment of weapons were stashed exactly where they were moments ago in a rare display of unease.
The Paw nodded in turn, relaxing to give Joseph one last kiss. “I expect to hear positive things when you come back to me.”
The Grand Hunter dismissed any confusion he had, smiling down at his mate. “Of course! I’ll talk your fluffy little ears off. Love Violet for me while I’m gone.”
Satisfied, she nodded before joining the rest of the pack as they watched the expedition group pick up their gear and make their way towards the west, Violet nuzzling into her chest while Mama rested her blades over her shoulders.
Harrow reached out and squeezed her paw when she noticed a tear in Pan’s eye, the Paw seeming so sorrowful while cradled so tenderly by possibly the two most deadly beings in the den. “They’ll be back soon.”
“I know.” She whispered, absently petting the den-kit as her mate walked out of view.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
“It has been but a small time, yet you seem ready to return already.” Sahari commented when he looked over his shoulder towards where the base had been again.
“Kinda, yeah.” He admitted, adjusting the strap for his bag. It was a bit of a pain in the ass to make five of these backpacks, but they were better than previous renditions in every way, so it was worth it in his mind, regardless of the soreness in his hands from countless hours weaving. “I’m not exactly looking forward to stepping into enemy territory.”
The black-furred female looked down at him for a moment, chuckling to herself before returning her vision to lazily scanning the forest for anything of interest. “We know not of their temperament, Grand Hunter, but must we assume the worst?”
“Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.” He responded dryly. “I hope that they’ll offer us friendship and a trade agreement. Hell, I’ll take being unmolested during our trip and returning quickly. Honestly, anything above being shot and stabbed seems like a pretty decent outcome.”
“We have much in the way of time before such thoughts are relevant.”
“And yet everyone else is spread out like a weird security detail.” Joseph looked around at the group. Tel had gone on ahead some distance, though close enough that a shout or sharp whistle could recall her. Mi’low and her guard were hanging back about the same amount while talking idly amongst themselves. Sahari was the only one to remain somewhat nearby, her company being the only thing at the moment stopping him from nervously scanning the trees for wildlife. He still did, but it didn’t look like he was paranoid.
“Tel is to ensure the way forward is safe while the High Huntress and her guard are to protect our path from that which may follow.” Sahari stepped over a root while using her spear as a cane. Her oversized crossbow was strapped to her back along with an angled quiver built into the armour, giving her a very ‘power armour’ vibe, much like Mama once had when they first left for the pod from the cave. The only difference was that Sahari was significantly shorter and had ranged weaponry. Though maybe that sold the image better.
“So why are you so close?”
She smirked at him. “To protect you from boredom.”
He blinked. “Let me guess; I’d get myself hurt if i was left to my thoughts for too long.”
“Of course!” She patted him on the back, the offset in weight causing him to stumble. “Though, it is perhaps more accurate to say that i am here to ensure that if something were to attack between the two other postings, i would be here to assist.”
“Keeping me from walking off a cliff is just a minor duty, huh?” The Human replied, recalling exactly that.
Sahari shrugged, failing to keep the amusement out of her voice, the light french accent sounding far more relaxed than he felt. “We are lucky that said cliffs are not nearby, so i am not of mind to expect such for now.”
“I suppose that’s good news.” He commented absently before a thought came to mind. “What did Pan say to Tel? Our forward guard out there seemed a little quiet.”
A shake of the head was returned for his inquisitive look. “I was not within range to hear, though i would assume it to be a personal matter.”
He nodded, unsatisfied but accepting the response. “Well, i suppose it’s fine. We got a couple of weeks to take it easy.”
“Happy to have escaped the chains of leadership?”
Joseph snorted a laugh. “Sure, I’m only walking somewhere on a diplomatic mission while dragging along a group of people who need my permission to shit in the woods. I’m a free man.”
She shook her head with a chuckle. “i see your sarcasm is telling of your condition.”
“If i stop complaining, I’m dead. Seems like a pretty solid marker for my health.”
“Indeed.”
The comfortable silence prevailed for a few hours, broken by the occasional comment and break for food. The pace was quite a bit faster than the trips with the Atmo, pauses only being required every four or so hours, so the chances they did take to relax lasted a bit longer to allow everyone time to stretch out or sit as needed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Find anything?” He called out, ignoring the curious glance from Mi’low and her guard. The group had removed the larger and less comfortable pieces of their gear to set up for the night that rapidly approached. He stretched his shoulders to enjoy the freedom of his chest as Tel shook her head from the tree, herself still fully armoured.
“Nothing worth hunting. Everything was scared off by us.”
“Well, at least we brought enough for most of the trip.” He mumbled, setting his pack down next to the fire Sahari started. He rubbed his shoulders to ease the strain that the weight of the bag had imparted on them. “Fucking heavy though.”
The soft thud of paws on solid ground preceded Tel claiming a seat next to the flames. “I’ll take watch for tonight.”
Joseph raised a brow. “Which one?”
“All of it.” She replied flatly while digging out some jerky from her pack.
“What? No. You can take a watch, but I’m not having you do a death march.”
“We were requested to keep you safe. I am the most qualified to maintain surveillance.”
He plopped down next to her, pushing away the tail that started swaying lightly. “You’re resting. Take first watch if you want, but we’re splitting it after that.”
She swallowed the meat she was chewing on, sighing as she made eye contact. “I have gone longer than a few moons without rest.”
He jabbed a finger at her, tapping her snout with a light touch. “I’ve done a week. It fucking sucks. You’re no good to me as a zombie that only reacts to the most base of stimulus.”
“Oh?” Tel grew a sultry lilt and leaned forward, causing him to lean back at the unexpected closeness. “You want to use me?”
“I... That’s...” He held a finger up to act as a barrier while he struggled to form a sentence, the conversation with Pan brought to mind being a small saving grace for his self control. “I need you in top shape.”
She shifted her her knees, bracing her weight forward on a paw while the other threatened to stroke at his thigh. “Hmm, I’m not opposed to being-”
A snickered comment from Mi’low cracked Tel’s expression, forcing it into a disdainful one. She quickly retreated to her previous position and nursed a water-skin. Joseph, equal parts relieved and disappointed, shot her a raised brow as he righted himself. “What did she say?”
Tel waved him off, her mood apparently ruined and leaving her to take a break without torturing him further. She finished her meal and stood back up, heading out to scout out the area while suggesting they all get some sleep.
Mi’low and her guard quickly took to the advice, the two curling up around the fire. They would have to take last watch then, since it was just barely dark. It’s easier to operate these things without someone being crabby from having their sleep disturbed night after night. He wouldn’t have minded napping himself, but he felt he should wait for Sahari to return before humouring the idea.
As if summoned by mere thought, the black-furred Lilhun in question returned from the brush holding two rock-worms, a curious glance directed at the sleeping fur-balls was met with a shrug from the Human.
“I take it Tel has volunteered for first watch?” She asked, placing the two grey stone creatures upon a flat rock over the fire pit.
Joseph salivated slightly, the winter had drastically reduced the amount of the enigmatic delicacy and he was very much looking forward to continuing his revenge for the impromptu sky diving accident that happened so many months ago. “She wanted to do the full watch, but i told her to take first. I don’t know if she’ll listen though.” His eyes bemusedly followed a rock-worm with a surprising amount of will to live, though the thought of it possibly being cruel passed his mind. If he knew of a way to kill it first, then he would make an effort to do so. As is, he lacked the tools and knowledge for it. He offered a small prayer to whatever deity oversaw weird rocks.
Sahari chuckled, replacing the attempted escapee back over the fire. “I believe she will insist as much for the duration of our journey.”
He shrugged a shoulder, giving in to the forces of a determined woman. He would just have to allot more breaks to compensate for her. “Was she like this when you two worked together?”
She flinched, easing after confirming the other two around the fire were well asleep, even though they didn’t speak a lick of English. “Our tasks were of such that if one was not ready for such sacrifices, they would no longer be able to make more.”
“Do or die?”
A soft nod accentuated the forlorn expression on her face.
“Sounds rough.” He commented weakly as he stared at the flames, the crackling doing wonders to ease his nerves. A stray memory of Violet’s pearlescent scales dancing in the light made him smile. “How’d you end up as a mercenary?”
She stared at him out of the corner of her eye before exhaling, a brief contemplation taking place behind her pupils. She shifted her gaze back to the cooking food, her ears drooping heavily. “I lost my bond.”
“Ah. I’m sorry.” He blinked a few times before examining her body language to get a read on if he could ask about why. He really didn’t know a whole lot about their pasts, minus his girlfriend. “I remember Pan telling me a while ago that those who did often ended up... Well, they didn’t make it for very long.”
She gave a mirthless laugh. “Yes, i was expecting to be much the same. Quite an unfortunate fortune that i remain, it seems. Though i am relieved to know that it was not the end i anticipated.”
“Can’t say i disagree.” He chuckled, reaching over to pat her back in support. “I wouldn’t have you guys if you gave up so easily.”
Sahari looked at him, a sardonic expression playing at her muzzle. “I tried, but it seems my fury outweighed my sorrow, if only just.” She shifted her gaze skyward, the glimmering of stars winning out over the diminishing remains of sunlight.
He stayed quiet for a while, allowing the implications of the conversation linger. “So what changed?”
She glanced at him again, fetching the rock-worms from their stone to cool. “It seems that the Hunt Mother had more in store for me.”
“Has it gotten easier?”
A raised brow was directed at him, it devoid of judgment but asking for clarification.
“Missing them.” He supplied. “The hole left behind.”
Her eyes searched the empty air for an answer to give him, the effort ending when she closed them slowly. “In a way. I know he will never return to me, though much of my being wishes he would. The wound has mended but the tissue remains scarred.”
He nodded, a faint smile forming. “Have you thought about loving someone else? What that would mean for you?”
The female gave a dry chuckle, pulling him into her side. “I believe you have your paws full as is, Joseph.”
He allowed the embrace, taking comfort in the soft fur and presence of someone who has experience a loss somewhat similar to his own, though he wasn’t ignorant to the separation between the severity. “You know what i mean.”
“I’m afraid that i remain ignorant.”
A soft disapproving pat was delivered to her arm. “I’m not blind, Sahari.”
She breathed out heavily, her paw absently rubbing his shoulder after ignoring the assault. It was a nice sensation to contrast the conversation. “I thought it folly to consider another. No one would replace my mate.”
He strained himself to look up at her. “Thought?”
A chuckle accompanied the slight squeeze. “I will allow myself to say that you are not the only one thankful for us finding you.” She winked at him. “Though you will have to petition the Hunt Mother herself if you wish to court this one.”
He tried to bat at her again for the joke, but a short struggle was all it took for him to surrender. “Anyway. You wouldn’t be replacing him. It’s what i tell myself anyway.”
“Ah, your old mate.” She spoke softly, a shared pain brought to light.
“Yeah. I know it’s hard to think about, more so with yours passing, but it doesn’t have to be all there is for you.”
“One's pain is not quantitative, Joseph. None can be compared to another by value.”
He nodded. “So have you considered letting yourself look at someone else?”
She remained quiet for a moment, though he could feel her arm tighten on him. “I have lost mine.”
“Does that really mean the end though?” He countered, meeting her eyes, the reflective fire glimmering within. “I think you know what i mean.”
She broke eye contact, her expression placid but pain radiated throughout. “I have regained a portion of what i had torn from my grasp. It would be avaricious to try to lay claim to more. I would spurn the generosity of the Hunt Mother.”
He gripped her cheek with his palm, reaching out from under her arm to complete the entrapment. His annoyed expression was mostly directed at the shadow of himself he seen within her, but it was an intense disgust on display nonetheless. “Be greedy. Grip your happiness by the fucking balls and rip it out of whatever deity dares take it from you. Tear the throat out of whomever the hell dares to steal it.”
His hold on her weakened as he averted his eyes, the passion lessening as he realized that he was talking to himself more than anything. “Don’t... Don’t let your hatred for yourself blind you to the affections others offer. I know it can be hard to think you’re worth anything after losing something like that, but you are.”
She stared at him wide eyed for a moment, a sad smile forming as she soaked in his words. She surprised him by kissing his forehead and pulling him into her breast, her arms encapsulating him. “Thank you. I will ruminate on your words further.”
He didn’t have the mindset to blush, even when he knew full well what laid under the soft fur on his cheek. It wasn’t that kind of hug. She needed someone close, he could understand that. He rested his hand on her back, idly playing with the fur as he rubbed it in a soothing circle. “No rush. We have lots of time.”
A deep growl vibrated in his ear, causing him to burst out laughing, the sound only muffled by a quick redirection into the cushions he had his head rested on. He pulled away, a tear at his eye from the intensity of the it, his stomach cramped from the force of trying to subdue it so as not to wake the others. “Okay, food first. Then you can think about it.”
She chuckled as well, her general posture much lighter than it was before as she handed him a rock-worm and bit into her own. He smiled, watching her as he took one of his.