Chapter 54: Muted Colours
Pan severed the stray thread as she pulled the final stitch, finishing the pants she had been working on to distract herself. She held the item up for inspection while thinking of the other pair that had failed in a unique way during a test of a particular design. She wished to allow a large range of flexibility so as to still wear them during her more acrobatic moves in sparring, but ended up with a pair missing a critical section.
Her cheeks flushed as she thought of why they still remained as such.
“They are excellent, Huntress Pan,” Volta complimented from her position by the door.
Pan glanced to the new female, a slight pout wiped from her face. The cleaner had assumed more of a ‘maid’ role than the Paw would have thought prudent, often working as an assistant and escort when she had finished her main duties. She knew Joseph would have simply sent her to relax when she was not working, and Pan herself had tried much the same, but Volta seemed to prefer to serve when she was not ensuring the cleanliness of the den.
It was claimed as repayment for the new attire that Pan had crafted for her, but something about the lingering glances she often caught from the corner of her eye said different.
She didn’t mind the female’s presence, despite the first sun that she had arrived being somewhat unorthodox in their interactions. Volta was efficient and skilled in her field, her work thorough and completed swiftly. The only complaint that Pan might have would be the reverence the new addition seemed to have for her.
She laid down the item next to the top that she had completed the previous sun, the two items were designed to emphasize her form as opposed to simply providing warmth. Harrow’s comment about clothing being for their mate’s enjoyment as much as their own had stuck with her. She knew Joseph enjoyed her fur, the comfort he felt while idly playing with it was quite evident in the bond, but she also remembered the burning gaze he gave her on the rare occasion that her coat clung to her flesh due to rain or such, so she designed these articles with that in mind.
“I am merely excited to see my bond’s reaction,” she answered softly, a small smile being all she could reasonably force upon her face. He would be returning this sun or the next, and she wished for nothing more than to welcome him personally while donning what he may find attractive on her body.
The weak expression was due to the numbing she felt as the suns progressed, each moon the motions becoming more and more foreign, the colours of the world around her becoming desaturated and less inviting. Were it not for her kit and Harrow’s company, she feared there might not be much for her mate to return to.
“He would be a fool to be anything but captivated,” Volta assured firmly, the warm expression seeming impossible to copy in the moment in spite of the complement being a rare acquisition for the defective.
“He is many things, Volta. All i can do is present to him my best and hope that he enjoys my efforts.”
The blue-furred female gestured to the garments she wore of Pan’s design, a scaled down version of attire that she had been planning for Sahari for quite a long time. The two shared quite a similar build, save for Volta’s smaller height, so she was a material-efficient model. The only change that is to be made between the two sets is that Sahari’s would be using a treated healroot insert to accent her natural beauty with a gold glow. I was about time she repay the old favour as well as the newest of accompanying her bond to ensure his safety.
“If this is any indication of your skill, Huntress Pan, then i can only feel envy that such would be presented to him.”
Pan gave her an amused furrow of her brow, the flirtation from one of her own extrinsic. “Do you perhaps know of Harrow’s progress on the repairs?”
Volta exhaled softly, her advances rebuffed yet again. “The last i saw of her, she was complaining to her mate. It seems that the electrical here is quite the enigma.”
The Paw nodded, not faulting Harrow for failing to fix the latest issue that the Head herself caused, but still wishing Joseph was here to do so. He would likely have had it fixed within a short while of the occurrence. The power to the facilities wing was not the worst issue they could have had, the weather warm enough to facilitate the preparation of their meals over the fire outside, but the lack of a terminal after the female’s experiment meant that Robert would not be able to contact them until Harrow was able to sort the issue.
They did manage to complete the scans for Silva, a process which instantaneously sent the information apparently, but it sparked a curiosity within the orange-furred Lilhun. She immediately tried to make an outbound communication to Robert, once she had figured out the menu in order to do so, and the process blew the newest fuse upon attempt. It seemed that receiving was much more power efficient.
She blinked away the threat of tears as she remembered the moon with Joseph where they enjoyed a moment alone with naught but each other’s company, the lack of music to remind her of the time with her Human being a sorely missed addition to her suns.
“I shall deliver the blanket to Harrow then. I may as well ask for a detailed report while i am there.”
“Shall i accompany you?”
Pan shook her head as she gathered the large black pelt of a ‘mono-deer’, the thick fur soft after many treatments. “I would ask of you to extend your tasks to encompass the new constructions as well as the existing buildings, if you would like. There is no need to strain yourself, but they have been somewhat neglected as demands grow.”
Volta returned the request with a somewhat dismayed smile of acceptance. “Of course, Huntress Pan. As you command.”
The female turned on her pads and left before Pan could respond, a somewhat guilty feeling overcoming her. She knew that Volta had been working quite fervently to gain a proper place in the pack, if not simply to impart a good impression upon the Paw, but the constant flattery had made her somewhat uncomfortable and she wished some time with one whom would treat her as she was.
A slight sigh slipped from her lungs as she left her work area and went to deliver the item to Jax’s room. She heard a series of soft clacks when she entered the Hub, her kit noticing her entrance and approaching with a bounce to her step. Violet held a tablet for display.
[Back now?]
Pan situated the blanket to fit under one arm as she stroked her kit’s head. “He should return this sun at the earliest, yes.”
Violet flipped the tablet, another prepared question presented. [Gate?]
She tilted her head as she tried to place the single word within a more complex inquiry. “Are you requesting to await him at the gate?”
Violet nodded, fidgeting with the tablet anxiously. Pan felt a warm smile appear, a rare occurrence recently.
“It should be warm enough for you now. Would you like to go together once i have finished my errand?”
The Atmo bounced excitedly, a burst of colour in the otherwise dull world that had invaded the Paw.
“He may not return quite yet, but we best be ready to receive him regardless. Just promise to return to the den if it becomes too cold or otherwise uncomfortable, okay?”
Violet nodded again, nuzzling into Pan before walking off to continue whatever she was doing before she was disturbed. From the pile of tablets, Pan assumed she was working on her English lettering and Lilhun script to communicate better. She felt her heart warm as she continued onward.
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Not finding Harrow within the den, she decided to leave the pelt upon their bed and search elsewhere. Soft plods above and a disruption of the skylights suggested she was overhead to continue her attempts at repairs.
Pan exited the dorms to the farm plot, taking a moment to appreciate the work that some of the pack had put into planting several crops. None had produced anything of value yet, but some of the plants had sprouted and Astra, Atrox’s mate, has proven their profession true with her efforts.
“Hey Pan! I figured it out!”
The white-furred female turned to look at the voice which came from on high, Harrow waving down to her with a harness fashioned from ironwood rope. The excitable movement caused her foot to slip, sending the Head careening off the roof. Pan’s eyes widened until a breath of relief was allowed as the harness did what it was supposed to, Harrow dangling upside down with a series of startled blinks.
“So that’s why Joe insists on ironwood over palm.”
Pan couldn’t find it within herself to laugh despite the casual remark being at odds with the potentially dangerous mistake. Harrow righted herself, climbing the rope to the roof and sitting on the edge while running a claw under where the harness had pressed into her skin.
“Joe made some adjustments after my fur got caught. Looks like it worked. Still sucks to have it dig in though.”
Pan smiled weakly at the mention of her mate. “I am also relieved that it worked. You said you figured something out?”
Harrow brightened. “Yeah! I’ve been rerouting power for the past few suns based on what Joe said he hadn’t done yet. I found something neat while i was poking around, too! Should make for a nice ‘welcome back’ present for him.” She glanced back at the panel she had left open.
“Thank you for fixing it.”
Harrow waved her off. “I wanted to listen to music anyway. It’s just a bonus that we can help Joe find out what’s going on. At least now Rob can call.”
Pan nodded in return. “Violet and myself with be waiting for Joseph at the gate later. Would you be able to take any communications should they arrive?”
“That won’t be a problem. Send for us if you see him!”
“I will. Do try to remain on the roof this time.”
The orange-furred female grinned. “As much as i love getting hurt, i suppose I’ll have to humour you.”
Pan caught the mildly concerned gaze as she left, but she was far from a state to reiterate how she felt in the moment. Something itched in the back of her mind, compelling her to venture out to find him. It wasn’t a rational thought, merely an instinctual one pressing her to action. It felt unnatural to be without his influence for so long and it was beginning to tear at her core.
Regardless, she was expecting him back soon and Violet required a caretaker since Mama has been with the other new Atmo helping along various projects, whenever she wasn’t being conscripted by Atrox for whichever artistic pursuits the male seemed to have imparted a fondness of onto her, that is.
She made her way to Joseph’s room, forcing herself not to spend an unreasonable amount of time simply touching the items he had left behind as she dressed in her new attire, a long coat thrown over to ensure that he would be the first to see it.
Satisfied with the way it fit on her, and it then promptly hidden, she left to gather Violet.
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Given her increasing time isolated within the den to prepare for Joseph’s return, many of the extended pack actually acknowledged her presence, though it was mostly just a glance and the occasional nod in her direction. Cohesion in the settlement has been established, more or less, so her intervention hadn’t been as needed. It was nice to have the time, but it also led to prolonged periods of anxiety in the isolation.
None of that mattered for the moment, however, because Violet was in the process of walking up to all who would so much as enter her sight to hold a tablet in greeting, bouncing excitedly when each offered a vocal one in return, though some seemed more perplexed than others upon being presented their language by one whom they had only seen once before.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Violet had prepared several basic plates that would be used more frequently and had them secured to her shoulder for ease of use. They were mostly for answering simple questions or saying ‘hello’, but they served as good practice as well as to introduce others to the fact that she would be able to communicate more efficiently soon.
The joyous kit returned to her side as they passed another construction that was taking place slightly outside of the general arrangement they had settled into, it being another den to finally clear out more of the barracks. The warehouse had been completed for a sun or so it seemed, so they had moved on with more expansions that may be required. With more Atmo to work on things, a walkway had also been started on the perimeter wall, allowing the pack to patrol the edges once it was completed. It barely had enough room for more than a single Lilhun to stand, but it was progressing steadily, if slowly due to the nature of the work.
Arriving at the gate without running into Jax or Nalah was odd, or would have been, if not for the blond-furred female leaning against the wall and gazing into the trees with forlorn eyes.
“I see i am not the only one to await their return,” Pan commented as she approached, Violet quickly presenting her greeting to Nalah when she turned to acknowledge them. The female smiled at the small Atmo.
“Hello Violet. Pan.” She glanced back into the woods before adjusting her stance to rest her back against the structure instead of her shoulder. “Yeah, I’m waiting. They should be back this sun at the earliest, yes?”
Pan wore a wooden smile as Violet fetched another tablet to display her affirmation. [Yes]
“They should, assuming nothing delayed them. A reasonable expectation would be the next sun, though i remain hopeful.”
Nalah cycled a breath as she observed Pan, a mirthless expression returned. “I would hope they return sooner, but i doubt we would be so lucky.”
“As long as they come back to us, i will be grateful.” She fixed her coat as it threatened to part. “Regardless, i will wait for them.”
Nalah spared another glance to the forest. “I will return to my duties then. Whistle when they get here, if they do show up.”
“I will.” Pan nodded as the planner left with hesitation, leaving just her and her kit to await her bond’s arrival.
But he did not return that sun.
Or the next.
Or the next.
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The rain fell lightly for a change, the usual heavy thrumming across the buildings instead being nearly absent in all facets as the mist wet the buildings. Nalah sighed, conceding that it would be a free sun for everyone who would otherwise be working on the recent constructions. It wasn’t that she wanted to work them into the ground, but that she was distracting herself.
She had been away from Sahari before, that was nothing new, but she had gotten used to having her near for quite a while now. The muting sensation left her weary and tired, unsure of herself in most situations without her bond to covertly confer with by merely knowing how she felt on a subject. It made her feel empty.
Then there was Pan.
The white-furred female seemed ready to tear the forest apart by claw to find her mate, the only thing stopping her being the den-kit coming out to visit her since she had not left the gate since she began waiting on the second sun. She wasn’t returning to rest nor eat, Harrow bringing out food for her when it became apparent that she was determined to remain outside.
Joseph was late by several suns in his return. The first sun was merely an optimistic estimation that could be proven hopeless by even the smallest inconveniences. The second sun was a reasonable expectation, should all go well. The third was much within the same vein as the second, and the fourth was a pessimistic prediction based on several issues arising.
The current fifth sun was one of worry, enough so that Nalah almost wished to join Pan in her endless vigilance.
She knew that the Paw would remain outside and wakeful again, Pan hasn’t even been resting recently, but staying out in the weather would not bode well for her health, and Joseph would be upset with them all if they allowed her to fall into illness due to none assisting her.
Nalah donned her coat, taking a moment to appreciate how hard Pan has worked to ensure that at least the main pack were able to be warm and dry in the environment they found themselves in. There was plans to extend such luxuries to the extended pack, but there was much hunting to be done to collect the material for that to happen. Jax was planning on taking some of the members out, but the delay of the Grand Hunter has, in turn, postponed the excursion until either he returns or...
There was no need to humour the thought further.
She exited the den, passing the four Atmo as Mama led something of a sculpting group with Violet, the latter quickly displaying a tablet in greeting towards Nalah which the Lilhun responded to as warmly as she could with the additional stress.
Violet seems to remain cheerful, though expectant of her surrogate blood-father’s return. The second sun in which Joseph did not return was met with Robert calling, a communication to which Harrow answered in lieu of Pan or the Grand Hunter. The den-kit was brought in after a short while and left with a smiling Harrow following closely behind, some arrangement met without her telling anyone else due to it being a ‘surprise’. Nalah was more than happy to allow them their secrets, especially if it meant that the overall mood of the den would remain high.
The doors closed behind her, the soft ticking of droplets landing on her hood being louder due to the material, though far from enough to be unpleasant. The ambient air smelled strongly of earth and more than a hint of pairings enjoying their personal dens during a sun of rest. The soft yearning for her bond struck her as she passed the buildings.
Sat by the gate on the wet ground resided Pan, the female clutching herself and staring out into the woods. She gave no reaction nor acknowledgement when Nalah approached, only turning an ear when she placed a paw on the female’s shoulder.
“Come inside, you will fall ill at this rate.” Nalah crouched as she spoke, an attempt to gauge the Paw’s reaction given.
She remained silent for a long moment before eventually responding. “I will wait for him.”
“He will be distraught if he returns to you being sick.”
She flinched, eyes temporarily breaking from the trees to consider. “I would rather see him as soon as i can.”
Nalah sighed softly, trying to think of how to convince the female to oblige their concerns. “Would you have him see your fur muddied and matted?”
A blink was given, followed by a cursory glance to the stained coat that the rain had allowed dirt to bleed into. Her steadfast determination wavered as she internally debated her response, but Nalah struck while the thought was fresh.
“Come. I will assist to ensure you are most presentable for when he returns.”
Pan opened her mouth to argue, but Nalah pulled her to her feet with minimal resistance.
“I will hear no argument. He will be delighted to return to his mate at her most radiant, no?”
The Paw gazed downwards with a small but pained nod. With a weak smile of satisfaction, Nalah escorted her back to the den, calling to a wandering pack member to watch the gate in their stead. A mental note was added to construct a room into the gate to allow those who were to watch from it a place to shelter from the elements.
She guided the female inside the den, turning to enter the dormitory wing and proceeding to the baths. More assistance than would normally be required was given, the female lacking the will to do more than exist.
Nalah helped her disrobe, noting the new garments but choosing not to mention them. She took the time to assist Pan with lathering her fur and washing out any mud that had worked its way into her coat. The seamstress remained silent, her gaze focused upon the abyss. Nalah felt an itch when she observed the female, a pang of loneliness striking.
Her extended absence from Sahari had left her much the same way, but she had kept herself driven in her goal of reuniting with her saviour. No sun went by where she remained idle, each often populated by bouncing from job to job to schooling within her hectic schedule, only small blocks of time to rest were had before she needed to reach her next destination.
Warehouses, construction sites, janitorial work, and even customer service. She had worked anywhere that would humour her requirements and pulled in as many within a sun as she could, frequently studying while on her breaks so that she could gain the qualifications needed to join the military in the field she sought. It wasn’t the most glamorous of pursuits, but she would have smiled every moment of manually cleaning toilets while being yelled at by superior officers as long as she could be with Sahari again.
She helped rinse out the soap, adding conditioner to both of them in a small attempt to bring normality to the Paw while assisting her own efforts to be presentable for her bond. Silence that had been disrupted by the falling water returned until Nalah felt the need to speak, if only to comfort the female.
“Were you aware of how i met Sahari?”
Pan glanced at her, some of the efforts showing a small effect at her attempts to sooth the white-furred Lilhun. “I only knew that you were previously acquainted.”
Nalah snorted a laugh, leading both of them to the baths to relax in the warm water. “One could say that. She rescued me from a pirate base on a neglected portion of a derelict planet.”
Pan blinked, a genuine curiosity playing behind the otherwise muted light in her eyes as she seated herself on the submerged ledge.
“She brought me to a small town that owed her a few favours and dropped me off at a facility for people like me. Those who ended up with a bad set in life through no fault of their own.” Nalah looked to the skylights, the waning light speaking of the falling sun. “It was a warm den, in spite of the type of people that ended up there. Everyone just wanted to escape their past and work for a better future. It worked, for what it was. They helped me through the nightmares, the trauma, and assisted in getting me my first job. It wasn’t much, barely a job at all really, but i was given cleaning equipment and pointed at a small storefront. It gave me something to do. Something to distract from my thoughts.”
She looked at the Paw, the latter nodding in understanding while staring into the water.
“Sahari remained for a while, though i suspect it was out of a feeling of responsibility for the female she had dragged along with her rather than any affection for me. Regardless, the talks of how i was adjusting warmed my frozen heart.” She took a breath. “I fell for her fully, and shortly after, bonded wholly.”
Pan’s eyes lit with recognition, actually absorbing the meaning of the topic at paw. “You feel as i do?”
Nalah nodded, though suspected that her initial separation had eased the impact to a great degree. “She left after less than a year, but i was hers by then. I never told her, simply wishing that she would notice and reciprocate. It was a foolish desire, in retrospect, but one i held dearly nonetheless. It was years until we were dropped here and i finally seen her again. Even just her presence made everything i went through worth it.”
“Years... I do not think i would be able.”
“I doubt i would be as composed should that occur again.” Nalah clarified quietly. “I have grown too used to her warmth. Her touch. The joy her laughter brings me... I would rather reach the Void than be separated for so long.”
Pan silently thought, her dull eyes watching a small wave caused by their movements. “She had lost her bond.”
“She did. She had also lost her love in the process. It was no expectation of mine that she might feel for me as i do her. I still do not expect such, but i relish the contact she allows between us.”
“She bonded to Joseph.”
Nalah nodded solemnly. “I know. I worried that he might take place within her heart and leave all my efforts worthless.”
“Do you worry still?”
A soft laugh escaped her. “Not so much now. It has become apparent that she sees him as an important person, yes, but not as one she wishes her own.” A grin formed on her muzzle as she regarded the Paw. “Though i hold little doubt that she would deny if he were to pursue her for a moon.”
Pan cracked the smallest smile, a great victory for Nalah. The blond-furred female refocused herself with a breath.
“I followed her once i could. Admittedly, it may have been an unsettling move, but i couldn’t think past seeing her again. I poured my all into finding her, where she was going, and how to join her. The draft made it rather easy to narrow down the possibilities. Money made the rest work.”
“I think that i would lack the strength to do what you did.”
“It was hardly strength,” Nalah dismissed lazily. “It was escaping my past by feverishly pursuing one who wanted me not. Even now, i can do little more than pine for beyond that which she allows. I suppose i should just pray she finds one whom she may take comfort in and support her from the side.”
“Perhaps it may be time to tell her?” Pan’s eyes held the slightest spark, though it quickly extinguished as Nalah shook her head.
“I couldn’t do that to her. We are of little options with the size of our pack. I wouldn’t wish her to feel forced due to the circumstances.” She sunk into the water, eyes closing slowly. “I don’t want to hear her say no.”
Pan opened her mouth to respond with a pained expression on her face when the baths door banged open, Volta breathing heavily and speaking with a hurried tone. “A group approaches the gate. We need Huntress-”
Pan flew out of the bath with no concern for the words of the blue-furred female, a towel hastily acquired on her way as water fell from her fur. Volta jumped to the side to avoid being bowled over by the rushing Paw, glancing at Nalah with confusion.
“Smart decision.” The lead planner commented dryly, the splashing of water echoing throughout the room as she exited the bath herself to dry off. “I have little doubt you would have been maimed should you have remained in her path.”
The cleaner furrowed her brow, unconvinced or unsettled by the assertion. “Surely you jest.”
Nalah returned a deadpanned stare. “She suspects her bond has returned. I pity any who would be stupid enough to disrupt her.”
“The group is of greater number than the five you had sent.” Volta disputed.
“Good.”
“Good?”
Nalah smiled, leaving the baths to fetch clothing so she may join them. “It would mean that he has succeeded in many ways.”
Volta frowned. “And if you are wrong?”
The blond-furred female pulled a shirt over her head, taking a moment to consider what would occur if the group was anything but friendly. A sharp nod was given when she quickly reached the conclusion. “Then Pan will require another bath.”
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Pan ran as hard and as quick as her body would allow, hastily securing the towel to her person as naught but a single thought raced through her mind in time with her claws digging into whatever her feet landed on to gain purchase.
Please be him.
A flash of hope. A scream of need. An isolated desire to reunite with her bond burning like acid through her veins. There was little more that her consciousness could process other than the primal push to keep him in her claws no matter what.
Her legs burned, her lungs struggled, her heart raced. All pained like no other but were eclipsed by the agony within her without him. A gnawing infection of stagnation without his influence.
So she ran, bursting through the outer doors and increasing her speed on the muddied grass that had been trampled into loose pathways as members travelled from location to location. A route to her loved one. A guidance to her healing, should all be as she prayed.
Naught but the wail of blood through her ears could be heard, the flushed adrenaline pushing her heart to its limit to reach him. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. It was her very soul willing the world around her to cease as she moved.
The frame of the gate filled her vision as she approached it, her goal nearing with every step. Her pupils strained her eyes as they filled themselves with everything they could capture within her sight for the slightest hint of him, renewing their efforts when she still did not.
Her steps slowed, the entrance reached. Her vision was a haze of exhaustion and insufficient oxygen reaching her system through hyperventilated breaths. A low voice called, the sound the clearest she had heard in many suns. The rich bass and warm presence like a salve to her ears. She didn’t know what was said. It didn’t matter. All she could do was rush to the origin, driven by nothing but instinct.
She crashed into someone, a moment of rage at her goal being obstructed being muted as the first scent reached her.
Joy. Confusion. Worry. Relief. Guilt.
But above all: Love.
She cried, the searing heat of the moisture burning her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him, her claws piercing the armour she held herself against, her paws desperately holding him close lest he evaporate in her grasp. Her body trembled, her legs giving out under her. She was gently lowered to the ground to rest on her knees, her bond following her descent.
He didn’t question her for her actions, instead wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling her into his neck, the Paw breathing deeply to internalize his scent yet again as tears mixed with the rain through her closed eyes.
“Sorry I’m late.”
She trembled at his words, pulling herself into him tighter as if to merge with him where they kneel. The sound of his heart pumping more comforting than any sound she may have otherwise heard in her life, her ear pressing itself to his throat to be closer to the origin.
“It’s okay. I’m here now.”
His voice rumbled through her, the sensation as familiar as breathing and just as necessary to her yearning soul. A muffled prayer fell from her as all became right with the world.
An excited clicking came from behind her, yet she did not separate. She felt her mate shift his head to look towards their kit, the bond transferring the pleasing warmth of him seeing Violet again, until a deafening roar of joy and sorrow struck him, only to be overwhelmed by affection.
She felt their kit join the embrace, a natural addition to her instincts, so they did not fight the intrusion, instead welcoming it openly.
Joseph cried as he pulled Violet in tightly. It was a choked utterance of emotional overload, but not one iota of it negative. Nothing existed but fulfillment within him, and in turn, her. The two sobbed without concern for the small group that joined them to observe the meeting.
“What did she write?” Nalah inquired, the slight aspiration suggesting she had run to catch up.
Harrow laughed, her own voice strained. “Robert offered to help her learn English. When i mentioned that she wanted to make a sign for Joseph, he taught her a phrase that he thought his brother would like.”
Pan could hear Jax laughing, his breathing the easiest due to his more stamina based endeavours. “And what might our den-kit have written?”
Harrow’s voice grew warm, yet wistful. A slight crack to her voice as longing mixed into her response.
“Welcome home Dad, i missed you.”