ON THE AUGEAN EXPRESS.
Ñ̰ PICOID, I NEED EYES! CONTROL MY BADGE! TYCHO, GRAB THE FUSE!
Through the eyes of the caboose-clinging woodpecker, Non saw his equine black body radiating sweat and steam as vermin swarmed his head. Looking even worse than it felt, he shook his head violently, anything to dislodge the creepy crawlies in his nose, ears and eyes. A rear hoof found a rung on the side of the caboose to steady himself. Above, his badge hovered, tracking with the train.
The stoat leaned over the edge of the train to aim at the blinded foe.
Ᵽ HERE WE GO.
The badge walloped the stoat’s back. As the rifle spun away into the sea, the musteline’s left arm slid behind three rungs. Non grabbed the inverted stoat’s right leg. He thought to say something rational like “Get these pests off me, please.” Instead, he repeatedly slammed his head against the back and hips of the parasite controller, trying to scrape the carpet of crawling horror off his face.
“Apologies,” was not said as the stoat abated the vermin attack, hoping to move the equine sausage grinder away from the Insanity setting. Ticks and fleas fell away, allowing his head bashing to calm.
Near his right eye, Non saw a rocket dangling from a burning fuse coiled around his staff.
║ I FETCHED IT FOR YOU! HERE IT IS! GETTING HARDER TO HOLD, I’M SPINNING.
He grabbed the rocket, stuck it in his mouth and yanked out the last few seconds of fuse. Getting back into the spirit of fighting, the stoat raked the taur’s flank.
Ñ̰ GUARD ME.
Non dropped the fuse as it burned his fingers, then scraped away the slower vermin off his head. While he ascended, his staff blocked a kick. Getting his torso over the top wasn’t hard. He’d climbed ladders as a colt. Hind hooves helped get his underside up onto the caboose as he pulled the grisly stoat off the ladder. The flesh under his hand squirmed. Repulsed, Non let go and took a step back.
“Why are you here?” asked the scabrous stoat, standing.
Non took the rocket out of his mouth to answer. “I haven’t figured that–”
With a moment to analyze the rocket, Non paused. A signal rocket. 70km nautical visibility range printed right on the side. He screened the coastal rail route, orienteered, then added topography.
‘This position, that mountain edge and the Xanthi dam make a straight line!’
‘Tintin and Force Ten, the movies in Mayhem’s trunk, both had exploding dams!’
‘An exploding dam will wash away the Augean Express in twenty minutes!’
Ᵽ AGENT NAVARONE, WHILE YOU SOLVED THE FUSE PROBLEM, THE STOAT RETREATED AND CALLED OUT AN OTYUGH.
Ñ̰ THE OFFAL MONSTER?
Ᵽ A TOPIC FOR LATER. SINCE YOU CAN SEE, I’LL FLY TO THE ENGINE.
The trains seen in flight comprised ten manure, four cargo, eight passenger, one tender and the engine. Non knew the tentacled otyugh lived in dung piles and sewers from his D&D days. He saw two tentacles rise from the closest manure car and swatted one with his staff as the stoat ran towards cargo. The tentacles derailed his plan to balance on the edges of the manure cars. In the games Uncharted 2 and Hitman 3 he’d fought his way up a train, but that didn’t help here.
‘Press A to win. Help guides. I miss those. How could this get worse?’
Ᵽ DEAD BODIES AT THE ENGINE CONTROL. YLEM. THE GNOLL NAMED MR. CAIRO HAS HIJACKED THE TRAIN.
♫ YOU CHASED DOWN AND CAUGHT A RUNAWAY TRAIN ON HOOVES. ASAP LEVEL RAISED TO +2.
The notification almost ruined Non’s dodge. He slammed the tentacle with his staff.
‘Maybe Culpeper’s book can get me past the otyughs.’ He pulled Portals from his feedbag.
“WARNING! PORTALS WILL KILL YOU!”
“NORMAL THINGS DO NOT LOOK NORMAL THROUGH A PORTAL!”
“STRONG ELECTROMAGNETIC FIELDS CAN–”
‘Safety, safety, safety, skip, skip, skip.’
“FOR YOUR FIRST PORTAL, SEEK AN OPEN AREA AND HAVE A FRIEND WATCHING. CHOOSE ORIENTATIONS AND LOCATIONS. IF THE TENSORS PASS A SAFETY VERIFICATION, THE ENERGY COST WILL SHOW ON YOUR PORTAL INTERFACE.”
Non used Picoid’s location and line of sight on the engine to start calculating the portals but found himself looking up at something wrong.
SLAM. He dodged a tentacle strong enough to shatter the roof, then fell into the caboose. As the tentacle groped through the broken ceiling, Non opened the side door while avoiding the tentacle. One sphere up in front of him on the side of the caboose, another sphere over the engine.
“UPON VALIDATION OF YOUR 2-SPHERE (3D) PORTALS, MAP THE TENSORS TO A CLIFFORD TORI 3-SPHERE (4D) DIVISION AS A MANIFOLD BETWEEN THEM, THEN ACTIVATE THE SUBSTITUTION FRACTAL SPACE-FOLDING.”
He could do this. Location portals relative to the train. SLAM. More roofing splintered. He finished calculations and sent location tensors to the portal interface.
‼ YOUR FIRST PORTAL HAS TUBULARITY WITHOUT INSTANTANEOUS LETHALITY. HOWEVER, THIS IS A MOVING PORTAL. FIND A QUIET AREA AND BRING AN OBSERVER. FRONT: REPELLING. BACK: ATTRACTING.
SLAM. The caboose violently rattled as an axle bent.
Ñ̰ OVERRIDE! EMERGENCY! GET HELP!
‼ ARPANET OUT OF RANGE. OVERRIDE ALLOWED. 5 ♇ ENERGY COST ACTIVATED. YOUR PORTAL IS OFF CENTER.
Quadrilaterals covered Non’s spheres, then repeatedly subdivided using his psi-quad substitution system. His tiled nautilus spiral stretched away as they connected through 4D space. Then, bounded by a smooth psiquad fractal edge, the spirals hyperboloidally joined. The portal showed an off center version of the train engine with wheels warped to the sides. Stretched images of the train made Einstein’s rings. He stared and wrapped Portals back in his feedbag before a tentacle impact interrupted his awe.
Ᵽ SHARING WHAT I SEE—WARPED CABOOSE WITH WARPED EQUITAUR DODGING A WARPED TENTACLE.
The tentacle probed at the shiny thing, starting a blunt yank of the multi-ton otyugh through the back of the back portal to the front of the front portal. The manure car buckled at the sheer violence of it. Past the portal, Non saw the otyugh bouncing alongside the train, coming right at him as the caboose derailed.
Non jumped through poorly with just two hooves on the roof. He summoned his staff for a steadying vector, then turned his head to see the otyugh viscously sluicing through the front of the back portal to the back of the front portal. ‘Why am I falling?’
║ SUMMONS DISABLED WHILE PORTALS ACTIVE. 32 ♇ ENERGY COST SO FAR.
“The DAM!” screamed Non. He hit the ground hard, then yelled “XANTHI DAM” again before the next brutal bounce. He tried to get his hooves under him, but felt gravel scrape away a good part of his right side. His surcingle snapped and fell off, then he bounced into a ladder on one car, mangling it. His grab missed, then he hit the ground again for more painful scrapes at train speed. He needed to get his hooves down and run. Viscera rained out of his front portal, followed by the caboose as the train folded itself.
The front side of the attracting back portal scooped him up. Non saw the back of the repelling front portal appear in front of him before he slammed into the top of a passenger car, then another. He almost grabbed the edge of the next car with a hoof, but the edge just scraped skin off a broken front leg. He recognized the ladder he’d mangled, hit the traintop, slid against the wood, then stopped with his head over the edge. He’d finally regained the velocity vector he’d lost hitting the ground. Also, the feedbag on his shoulder had snagged part of the broken roof.
Ñ̰ OFF OFF OFF OFF OFF!
║ PORTAL DEACTIVATED. 70 ♇ ENERGY USED. 10 ♇ USABLE ENERGY REMAINING.
Non soaked in a growing pool of his blood. ‘This is how you kill yourself with portals.’
He heard a door get ripped open but ignored it. Passengers screamed.
Skin scraped off. Right front leg broken. ‘Stop the train. Save the dam.’ Picoid contacted him.
Ᵽ HOW CAN I HELP, FRIEND? FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, YOU DAMAGED THE TRAINCAR PRETTY BADLY.
Ñ̰ THAT HELPS. WATCH FOR ME.
Non summoned Icosian, used it to get to three hooves, then limped forward with the staff.
“Get off the roof, you’re breaking it!” yelled a passenger.
Non on a train [https://i.imgur.com/zvkfrA3.png]
He heard glass shatter behind him, but ignored it, managing to leap to the next car while minding his broken leg. ‘Just a state of mind.’
Ᵽ BE MORE CAREFUL WITH YOUR STAFF AND TURN AROUND. THE NEMEAN LION IS SNEAKING UP ON YOU.
[https://i.imgur.com/qNYljw2.png]
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
“How DARE You!” roared the Nemean Lion.
“You think I planned this?” Non gestured to his broken body while using the staff to balance.
“I don’t care! Yield immediately!”
║ COMBAT MASTER. LEADER OF NEMEAN FIGHTING ACADEMY FOR 73 YEARS.
Behind Nemean, Non saw the stoat leading an otyugh onto the cargo cars. And Picoid.
“The engineers should have stopped the train. They didn’t because they’re dead! The Xanthi dam is rigged to explode. Look behind you.”
The lion heard tentacle slaps and followed Non’s gaze. “You fiends!”
With a snap of his fingers, Non made a tunnel-shaped screen with a spinning Fraser spiral. He faked throwing his staff to the left before framing the top plane of the train with a shifting checkerboard. Picoid helped to make an illusion match with the lion’s point of view.
[https://i.imgur.com/NfuNi0y.png]
“This is the rotating room illusion. Can you override your senses?”
“I can smell your blood, horse! I don’t need my eyes.”
“My blood is everywhere, Nemean.”
Nemean sprang to slash the torso but clawed through illusion. The liontaur fell through the checkerboard floor over naught but rushing air. Non winced at the close slash, then struggled to maintain balance with his right hooves on his hovering staff and his back left hoof on his badge. He couldn’t see the liontaur landing off a speeding train, but he had experience.
Ᵽ THE STOAT FELL OFF WITH AN OTYUGH.
Mr. Cairo tapped the train top with a halberd, verifying each step. Non returned to the safer roof of the train and turned to look. A sudden solution to the train word problem made him laugh. He tasted blood.
“My dear equine friend, could you calm down? Your balance seems precarious and you’re gravely injured. We can discuss things. You can give me my book back. We’ll have a civilized talk.” The advancing gnoll sounded like Peter Lorre. The last sentence came with a snarl.
Non dismissed his big screens. Then went down to his knees, snickering at his broken front leg.
“Stop that,” demanded the gnoll. “If you don’t stop that laughing, you’re going to end up dead.”
“The math! You botched plan B!” Non put up a blackboard screen with calculations. “No signal flare! You had to stop the train on the bridge if the dam attack got delayed. You can’t! Here’s the math right here! Vector Von Doom!” He laughed more, both hands steadying him atop of the train. The roof cracked.
“A vector won’t help you,” said the gnoll, holding his halberd’s razor edge over the taur.
“I just needed to stop the rocket! I could have skipped grinding myself through the portal!” The blackboard showed his plan to move his staff behind the gnoll.
“I’ll still keell you,” said Mr. Cairo, snarling more now, paying the blackboard screen no heed.
“The portal beat you,” laughed Non, coughing sardonically. “I’m the ejector vector victor predictor.”
The gnoll grimaced at the equitaur’s bloody rictus and raised up the halberd.
“Those are terrible last words, my friend.” As the gnoll brought the halberd down, Icosian shoved the off-balanced biped in his chest. The halberd dug into the roof close enough for Non to feel the vibrations of its impact. Tycho continued pushing, forcing the clawed feet off the roof. As Mr. Cairo hung from the shaft of the halberd, the blood-deprived taur watched the battered traintop disintegrate under him. The halberd blade lifted up as the roof bent down. He heard the claws of the gnoll scrabbling for purchase as the black staff pushed ever downward. The hyenaesque shriek was cut short as the gravel-covered ground shredded him apart at 100 KPH.
“Vector!” yelled Non. Then the darkness claimed him.
----------------------------------------
Lernea’s cave always seemed colder when he couldn’t participate in a gaming session.
As usual, Non had set aside other social possibilities for a chance at some gaming.
As usual, right before the game started, Lernea gave Non a multi-hour emergency task.
“That’s the wrong blindfold!” The gaming group's elite players laughed at session points that, out of context, made no sense. As Non returned, Fakenham praised Lernea Five’s gamemastering.
As usual, the higher status gamers volunteered Non to do clean-up chores. After taking cups and bowls to the wash area and putting books and miniatures away, he got a rag for cleaning up the tables.
An equitaur looking much like Non walked into the cave. This wasn’t part of the memory. An incongruity had dared to intrude on his dream. Something was wrong.
The twin spoke. "Ah, mon frère, there you are. I thought I had lost my bearings in this vast cavern."
“Did I flunk the mind melding thing? Are you Earth or Icarus?”
"Your melding process went without a hitch, Nyah. I'm your brother, Chyron."
On Icarus, most could get genetic tweaks, even identical twins. Chyron didn’t get Non’s fancy follicles and shifting pattern. Non didn’t get the two snakes Chyron inherited from Mama Naga.
“Are you here in my dream, or am I just dreaming about you?” Non looked to his hands for an answer.
"Mama Naga did not say say dodo. That means sleep, and your name means no. I must keep these straight. We sleep side by side, Meláni, aboard the Augean Express."
"You haven't called me Ink in years, but I’ll buy this isn't an Inception. Why are you on the train?”
“When I discovered you lost your Earth spurs, I came to see you at the bookfair. After you left, I simply took the train home.” Chyron gestured to the gaming table. “Shall we tidy this together?”
Non calmed. “Does clean-up matter in a dream?”
“The glymphatic system flushes the brain of debris, a clean-up routine primarily active during sleep.”
“Fine. You can help me clean. But we should leave within twenty minutes.”
Chyron folded a rag neatly. “Why is that?”
Non pointed to the hydra in the cave, still with bandages over the eyes after surgery. Four heads endured the main head playing with a recording device.
“This is two days after Lernea had surgery. See that thing that looks like a Roomba? She’ll coax me over to help with it, and within a few minutes there’s a huge fight between the blind heads. I’d rather not go through that again.”
The equitaur brothers cleaned up the dream tables before Non folded them up and put them away.
“Is Beek here, Non? I know he did the surgery. He also brought that clock there, as per Lernea Three's request.” Chyron pointed to the Earth GMT clock. “Part of his last message to me before he died.”
Non took a look. “The GMT clock has always been there.”
“The real clock harbors a hidden lens. However, la rêverie, in the dream, it's of no consequence.”
Lernea 3 spoke, her voice resonating. “Non, I hear your hooves. Could you help me with my recorder?”
Lernea 5 growled. “Can we review the speech you’ll give when the bandages come off?”
Non sighed, hopelessly facing the impending argument. “Bro, in three minutes, it’s a bloodbath in here. I wish this wasn’t my last vivid memory of Lernea.”
Chyron put a comforting hand on Non’s shoulder. “We're not tied to this dream-scape. We could try your cabin instead."
They dream-walked to Non’s cabin near the obstacle course. Huge futon, bookshelves, music and juggling gear, fold down desk. Very small for two equitaurs. Non plugged a light into the solar battery.
Behind a smile, Chyron's eyes expressed disappointment. "Ah, so very... intimate, Non. It suits you."
“Don’t start, Chy. I’m seldom here and long past the age of acquisition.” Then he sighed. “Sorry for snapping. I hurt a lot. Feels like I’m getting zapped. I got struck by lightning.”
"There's a silver lining even in thunderclouds, Non, and in this case, it's in the form of special cells that conduct electrical current. When correctly aligned, these zaps accelerate wound healing threefold. You ran low on these and other crucial cells, so I stepped in to help, with assistance from your familiar."
“Picoid trusted .. my twin brother, I suppose he would. Am I okay?”
"Answers within dreams invite risk, Nyah. Now then, your leg has been splinted. We both harbor specialized regenerative cells for distinct types of injuries. You only sustained one break, which has already commenced its mending. Despite extensive injuries to your skin and muscle, you will endure. Blood loss presents a concern, yet I am providing you with a transfusion at this very moment."
“I have type Q blood. Right, you’d know that. And you also have it. So you’re asleep next to me?”
"I am uncertain if 'asleep' is the proper term. We both dwell in a state of unconsciousness controlled by the numerous esteemed doctors onboard. I harbor high confidence in our recovery. My current utility is your tranquility. And even though I’m a bleeder, I’m giving you my blood.'"
“A bleeder? What’s a bleeder, bro?”
"A 'bleeder,' mon frère, is a sizeable creature immunized against pathogens and bled for the procurement of serums and antibodies. I specialize in the domain of snake antivenoms. I reap more monetary gain from that than from my clinic."
“Sounds like fun. If the rich docs are here, can they inject me with nanites or something?”
“We have the biological equivalent, an immune system. And we have regeneration, a glorified name for an immune system supplement, with specialized cells made by the scitus. But your injuries used up all those cells, hence, I reside here by your side, donating my own. Allow me to show you how these work.”
Non let Chyron guide him. The leg break zoomed in spongy bone structure with worker cells near a bone splinter. With guidance, the splinter returned to the correct spot, then osteoblasts provided the scaffolding matrix. Chyron helped to tamp down non-helpful cell behavior, such as swelling and pain. Inside the bone, osteocytes and stem cells worked on a damaged area of the mesh.
♫ MEDICINE +1. SELF-ASSESSMENT ONLY.
♫ YOU SURVIVED GETTING HIT BY A TRAIN. GRIT INCREASED TO +3. BODY INCREASED TO +3.
⚷ PARFAIT! AS HIS BROTHER AND DOCTOR, MAY I PLEASE SEE MY PATIENT’S CHARACTER SHEET?
♫ ACCESS TO Ñ̰ GRANTED TO CHYRON.
NAME: NON SEQUITUR. NICKNAME: NYAH (Ñ̰). CLASS: HARLEQUIN. RACE: EQUITAUR.
CONCEPT: TECHNICAL AGENT FOR THE GALACTIC CORE CORPS, MATTERS OF TIME AND SPACE.
TROUBLE: ESCAPIST, EQUIVOQUE, EURION, UNFINISHED PORTAL TRAINING
+4: MATHEMATICS, PHYSIQUE.
+3: ACADEMICS, ACROBATICS, NOTICE, PROGRAMMING.
+2: ATHLETICS, FIGHT, INVESTIGATE, LOGIC, NATURE, PERFORM.
+1: CONTACTS, CRAFT, DECEPTION, DIPLOMACY, EMPATHY, MEDICINE, STEALTH (0), SURVIVAL, WILL.
ACTION STATS: 🎭 DRAMA 1, 💡 IDEA 2, ❤️ CARE 1, 🏃 EVADE 0, 💪 BODY 3, ⏱️ ASAP 2, 💥 GRIT 3
BODY: PILOMOTOR ROTATORS, CHROMATOPHORES, EIDETIC MEMORY (WHEN ACTIVATED).
║ ICOSIAN (536870912): BADGE (BLOCK), SCREENS (POLARIZE), VECTORS, INERTIA, RAISING THE BAR.
Ᵽ PICOID (841): ENTANGLEMENT, BONDED TELEPATHY, SPEAK TO BIRDS, PECKING ORDER.
🥊 AD HOMINEM: THE EQUITAUR WITH VECTOR BAR AND REPERTOIRE CAN KICK AND SPAR FOR AU REVOIR.
🎼 COORDINATION SEQUENCE: HARNESS THE RHYTHM OF BEATS FOR COMBAT MANEUVERS AND PERCUSSIVE FEATS.
💫 CIRCLES AND PLANES: AN EXTENSIVE CATALOG OF CONTACT STAFF PATTERNS FOR STRATEGIC ATTACK AND DEFENSE.
➗ DIVISION: SYSTEMATICALLY DISSECT OBJECTS OR ABILITIES, UNCOVERING AND UTILIZING THEIR COMPONENTS.
🌓 FALSE DICHOTOMY: LEAD A TELEPATH THROUGH A PRIMROSE PATH BLOODBATH OF HIGHER MATH.
🔀 GISH GALLOP: RAPIDLY RELAY NONSENSE. ALSO, ENHANCE MOVEMENT WITH VECTORS.
📚 INFORMATION OVERLOAD: POP-UP DETAILS FOR LANDMARKS, FAUNA, FLORA, AND PERSONS IN A GIVEN LOCALE.
📏 MEASURABILITY: BECOME THE GUIDING PIN ON A DYNAMIC MAP OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
🌳 PECKING ORDER: ENHANCED SOUNDS, SENSES, RANGE, DURABILITY AND MENTAL CONNECTION FOR PICOID.
👁️ PERSPECTIVE: POLARITY & BODY UPGRADE. BETTER SCREEN EFFECTS. EYE-TRACKING FOR OBSERVERS.
🧫 TRUST YOUR GUT: GAIN ZOOM, PHAGEHARBORS, NUTRIGENS, BARRIERS, REGENAIDS AND MORE.