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17. RUN LIKE HELL

ONBOARD THE ZEPPELIN ERYMANTHIA.

║ 1 ♇ ENERGY ADDED. A PLANCK DOES EQUAL A LIGHTNING BOLT! ARE YOU COGNIZANT? YOU FELL INTO CARGO. I SLOWED YOU TO 8 M/S. I CAUGHT YOU! YOU’VE BEEN DAZED FOR 160 SECONDS. I FOUND SOMETHING! I DRAGGED IT TO YOU.

Non’s ears rang. In the dim light of the sparsely filled cargo area, he made out a Doctor Mayhem plaque on a fancy steamer trunk. He opened it while assessing injuries. The trunk held long fuses, surgeon tools, Adventures of Tintin, bandages, Force 10 from Navarone, a property deed, letters, clothing, Of the Blue Colour of the Sky by OK Go, clothing, bottles of water. He sighed and flipped through the deed and letters as fast as possible to commit them to memory.

Ᵽ YOU’RE BACK! TWELVE ASSAILANTS PUT ON PARACHUTES. WE’RE OUT OF THE STORM. THEY’RE JUMPING.

Ñ̰ GET THIS EXACT LOCATION AND WATCH FOR WHERE THEY LAND. CAN YOU FOLLOW?

Ᵽ LOCATION MARKED. I’LL WATCH. WE’RE RANGE LIMITED, SO I CAN’T FOLLOW THEM. IF YOU CAN WALK, GO TO YOUR FATHER.

The freight elevator took Non and the rolling trunk to the bridge-level deck.

║ ARPANET AVAILABLE. 37 NOTIFICATIONS AND MESSAGES. FETLOCK SENT CRIME SCENE REPORTS. KANE INQUIRER WANTS THE EXISTING LERNEA FOOTAGE YOU MENTIONED. AGENT CULPEPER SENT A LINK FOR IMPACTOR STATUS. LAGEN SENT A MESSAGE OF LOVE THAT WAS WAITING FOR ARPANET. CHYRON GAVE UP, IS HEADING HOME ON THE AUGEAN EXPRESS.

“Wet equine, I am Head Chef Argos,” said an anthro canine at the wheel. The canine hadn’t even turned around to look at him. “Our attackers left five minutes ago. They made a deal with Taranis to get them through the storm alive.”

Ñ̰ SEND LANDING LOCATIONS TO FETLOCK AND FICHET ALONG WITH OUR VIDEO OF MAYHEM, DEEDS, LETTERS AND ALL DETAILS KNOWN ABOUT ASSAILANTS.

Ᵽ GOOD TO SEE YOU LUCID. TREAT YOUR FATHER.

Lagen, kneeling, held a towel to his head’s left side. Ahead, on one side of Mount Olympus, brightly colored houses filled the walls of a fortress. A blue anthro-jay waved a flag to guide them to a docking post. Other bluejays boarded the ship in flight. In closer proximity, Picoid looked at Lagen with concern.

Non knelt to bandage his father, showing thanks and reciprocation for the message’s sentiment nonverbally. Even with regeneration, gruesome. In return, Lagen treated Non’s battered head.

“You look bad, too. Pull lever three down a half, turn the wheel right forty degrees,” said Lagen, adjusting other settings. Then he smiled dangerously. “A little bird told me you were alive. Now we need to deal with air pirates. It’ll be okay. Let the thunderbirds secure the craft. They may take things.”

An anthro jay walked in. “Where is Silver Screen? Big wet horse guy, back up.”

Non backed up. “Mayhem left on a parachute eight minutes ago. Get a map and I’ll mark where.”

“This trunk is mine now.” A different jay dumped the fuses, bandages, water bottles and clothing.

[https://i.imgur.com/vm3LEN9.png]

“How many are boarding?” asked Lagen.

“Twelve,” said the first jay. “Are you the pilot that agreed to Silver Screen’s bond?”

“Yes, I am.” On seeing Lagen’s gruesome surgery, the jay backed away, but Lagen pulled him back by the vest, his voice lowering. “Have you verified the murderer’s bond?”

The jay looked down at the bloodied hand holding him, nodding nervously. “We have. The bond is under lock. As one of the distress declaring parties, you may not change terms.”

Ᵽ THESE ARE THE THUNDERBIRDS. WEATHER-CONTROLLING MERCENARIES. LEGAL PIRATES. WE NEED TO LET THEM BOARD.

‘Can I get my Dad out of here? Do I need to fight them? Do I need to fight a whole town?’

The fuses reminded him of the Siege of Iskorosten. ‘“Give me three pigeons and three sparrows from each house.” They released the birds with long burning fuses. The nests set the entire city on fire. Picoid could talk to smaller birds and–’

Ᵽ HEY, AGENT OLGA, DECLARE AN EMERGENCY. NOW! OVERRIDE THE DEAL. TYCHO, SHOW THE BOX.

A GCC Situation Screen appeared, listing the zeppelin as his active case. A box asked, “Update status?” Non looked, then spoke: “Emergency! Our situation depends on an injured pilot.”

║ DECLARED. AGENT TARANIS ON SCENE AND BEING HELD BY YOUR FATHER.

♫ YOU MANAGED TO TRICK A GROUP OF TERRORISTS AND A MIND READER. IDEA LEVEL RAISED TO +2.

The “back up” jay checked an invisible screen then turned. “Ah, Agent N. I’m on-call Agent Taranis. Do you understand that the fifty kiloplanck bond will be lost upon confirmation?”

“Yes! Yes he does!” shouted Lagen, maniacally gleeful. Taranis winced.

Non sorted the discussion and notification. ‘Dad is dead set on dismantling this deal.’ “I understand.”

The bluejay Taranis moved away from Lagen, then poked at invisible screens. “Everyone, we’ve been paid. Fifty kiloplanck added to our account. We’re on rescue now. Make a safe path to Dion.”

“Take that you eye-hacking bastard!” yelled Lagen. Non had never seen his father like this.

“Can you last ten minutes, Lagen?” asked another jay, handing Lagen a canteen of water.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Lagen drank, then twisted his head to see out the window with his good eye. “Turn the wheel to port, Argos, push the green levers up. Fly over the train station.” He ignored the question.

“Everyone, damage check, keep me apprised,” said Taranis. Down below, the city of Dion nested at the base of Mount Olympus. “The tower down there, blue-white lights, that’s the airfield. Agent, does this resolution satisfy you?”

“Why did an agent help capture us?” Non resumed replacing his Dad’s bandages.

Taranis sighed. “Silver Screen captured the Erymanthia and requested storm assistance in exchange for salvage rights. I forced better terms when no one could put a verified name on a deal. Have you gone through Agent Intro? I’m an agent when I’m paid. We downsize weather disasters. For tomorrow’s impactor event we’ll provide nothing but blue skies from now on,” said the bluebird.

“Couldn’t you rescue people for free?”

“When Disaster Strikes, We’ll Be There. That’s our motto,” said Taranis. “We don’t cause disasters, that would be terrible. We predict disasters and provide warnings. For those that tempt fate, we arrive with reasonable offers. Free rescues lead to carelessness and more rescues than we can manage. Risk requires rental fees.”

‼ PRIORITY VIDEO CALL FROM FETLOCK HOLMES ACTIVATED.

“I saw you fly over me, Non,” said Fetlock on an eyescreen, walking under a Central Station sign. “I rode the Aegean Express, that train you worried about. I searched it and spoke to the passengers. I deboarded a few minutes ago and just left the Dion train station.”

“Love you, Dad, gotta go.” Non rushed while using his wrist camera. “What did you find?”

“Lots of millionaires, your brother Chyron, the Nemean Lion and that gnoll that admitted to killing She-Taurus. Nothing of import. I’ll meet you at the zeppelin when you land,” said Fetlock.

“Keep the train at the station!” said Non, reaching cargo prep and pulling the lever.

Ñ̰ BUY ME A TICKET.

“Why? Eyes on the crime, Non. Could you fill–”

“Eyes on the criminals, Fetlock! That’s the next target!” Then he leaped from the zeppelin. He saw a train leaving the train station while plummeting. Picoid took flight, not trusting the equine’s solo flight skills.

“Do you have evidence?” asked Fetlock. “Hey, did you just–”

║ YOU WANT ME TO SLOW YOU DOWN, RIGHT? HOLD ON. ARPANET SAYS THE AEGEAN EXPRESS HAS LEFT.

Hands still slick with blood, the staff slid out of Non’s hands. The badge on his surcingle could only partially slow him. He summoned the staff to lose it again, then moved his hands to call Icosian under himself. Using the wrong angle at speed put him into a spin. Each time he summoned the staff, he smashed it hard and lost it again, falling with changing yaw, pitch, roll and torque.

Park grass stopped his fall as Non roughly landed on his side. Fetlock stepped over him, offering a hand while switching the video screen off. “I saw that on your wrist camera. Are you alright?”

Non took Fetlock’s hand and got to his hooves, his inner ears whirling. “We have to stop the train.” Then he pulled the hat off the head of the centaur detective before a dizzy stagger.

“Oh, come on. I’m clean. And why? I’ve checked it. You just pretty much fell off an invisible sequoia.” Fetlock took his hat back, then spoke to the arriving woodpecker. “Is he okay? I sent my notes.”

Picoid wing-shrugged from atop Non’s head as the taur tried to walk.

Ᵽ AGENT TREEFALLER, ICOSIAN IS IMMOBILE. LET IT GO IF YOU WANT TO MOVE.

║ SORRY, WAS HELPING TO HOLD HIM UP.

“We have to stop the train,” Non repeated. He went from a walk to a trot to a gallop, trying to think of train-stopping justifications as he ran off. Picoid took to the air again. A few minutes past the train station, Non saw the train. Out of the city, he galloped next to the tracks as the train stayed stubbornly ahead. He shut screens to focus more on running.

Ᵽ I’LL FLY TO THE TRAIN. I LOVED YOUR PERFECT THREE-POINT LANDING EARLIER.

“Use Gish Gallop to help my forward vector!” He held his staff next to him.

║ ADJUSTING. DOUBLE SPEED POSSIBLE WITH PRACTICE, PLACEMENT, PIVOTS AND PERTURBATION REDUCTION. TRYING FOR +5%. I AM CURRENTLY MOVING RELATIVE TO YOUR SMOOTHED BARYCENTRIC PATH.

After a few stumbles, Non got the extra speed right only to watch the train moving away faster. He tried for more speed. ‘I’m running too fast.’ His instinct to slow down kept haunting him.

Ᵽ SOMEONE TOOK A FALL OFF THE TRAIN.

Non saw the roll up ahead on the side, then a human stood up to look at the departing train, before looking back at the approaching centaur. ‘Stop? No, run on.’ As the human waved an arm for help, Non reconsidered, but switched to the other side of the track.

Ñ̰ IF THAT’S A GUN, THERE’S A FALLACY AND AN ALGORITHM FOR DEFLECTION.

║ GUN DRAWN BY DETRAINED HUMAN. MOVING BADGE.

The gunshots dampened his terror of speed. He waited for a wound to register.

║ 7 MISSES, 3 DEFLECTIONS. IT’S THE NAVIGATOR COLLISION AVOIDANCE PROBLEM.

Ñ̰ THAT’S CORRECT! RELATIVE MOTION PROVIDES A BEAUTIFUL APPLICATION OF VECTORS.

Ᵽ A PERSON CLIMBED THE CABOOSE WITH A RIFLE. YLEM, A VERMIN. A STOAT VERMIN.

‘Vermin bond with lice, fleas and other parasites. Useful for parasite control, but yuck!’

Ñ̰ CAN YOU STOP THEM?

Ᵽ FRAGILE BIRD HERE. MAY I USE YOUR SCREENS? MOVE BACK AND FORTH. THEY’RE AIMING.

║ GIVE PICOID ACCESS TO SCREENS?

Ñ̰ YES! ASIMOV’S THIRD LAW WHENEVER APPROPRIATE!

As Non switched back and forth on the track, deftly dodging the rails, wood, and bullets alike, he saw a grey screen behind the train. His badge floated fixed ahead of him as gunshots started.

║ GIVING FRONT COVERAGE. 2 MISSES. 3 MISSES. 1 DEFLECTION.

Non chose to move further left as the deflection count increased. ‘I need to move faster. How? Imagine uphill and downhill. What’s fast enough? The Benedetti tuning puzzle. The quarter notes aren’t the same due to a comma pump. Tempo, Tuning, Timbre, Spectrum, Scale. Accelerando. William Tell. Chopin pieces, Waterfall, Torrent, Winter Wind. Faster. Circus Galop Balancing Act.’

Non gallops [https://i.imgur.com/jCUTJKF.png]

Ᵽ AGENT LIZST, I’M IGNORING YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS. TRY CHANGING TO A BLACK BODY TO HIDE BETTER.

Ñ̰ WILL DO. I’LL CONTROL SPEED. TYCHO, WHEN I REACH THE RUNGS, HELP LIFT, THEN GUARD ME.

The taur’s coat pattern turned to a black midi of overlapping notes as he ran faster and faster. He let the impossible music drive his cadence, tempo and rhythm.

Ᵽ BRIDGE COMING UP. THE VERMIN STOAT LIT A FUSE.

Non summoned every resource to propel himself, a count of ten to get alongside ladder rungs. At nine, the bridge started. He released his staff to grab rungs, then felt Icosian smack hard under him. ‘Right, I asked for that.’ Hind hooves banged on bridge tracks as he got a foreleg over a rung. The caboose rocked side to side on the tracks as his equine body hammered into it. He hauled himself up before he lost a leg.

Non looked up just in time to see the stoat lean over the ladder to aim down at him. Non threw his badge to knock it back. That worked, but a mass of ticks and fleas fell in a cascade over Non’s face.