3-23 ROOTS

I think I told you this yesterday, but I’ll just mention it again. We weren’t always one whole squad. At the beginning, it was just Oppen, Drak, Sitch, Avi, and me. Us five; together, since always.

We grew and we trained. We fought.

It wasn’t bad, honestly. It was hard, of course — you can’t be a good soldier if you don’t have the right training, but that doesn’t mean it was terrible.

Hm. You know, it’s a bit strange, though. It was somehow… lonely, in a way. Though we had each other, it felt like we were on an island. We only had each other, despite being surrounded by our brothers. When everybody looks familiar, somehow everybody becomes unfamiliar. It’s odd.

Yeah…. Yeah.

We stuck together, because of that. I think everybody else did the same, at least that’s the feeling I got when our squad was merged with the other. While I learned to love my new brothers, they were just… different.

We’re all different in a way, but the ones we grow up with are always the ones we are closest to. That’s what I felt.

Anyways, how about I tell you a story? A quick one.

We weren’t really troublemakers. I know some squads gave the Kaminoans a real headache, pushing it to the point of almost getting terminated.

…

Yes. Terminated. We’re products, Xena. We’re clones, not people; at least that’s what the Kaminoans said. Of course, I don’t agree, and I’m glad you don’t either.

However, we’re soldiers first and foremost. That’s us. That’s our lot in life.

But, back to the story.

Now, while I just said we weren’t troublemakers, that doesn’t mean we didn’t get up to mischief at times. There’s little things you can do to amuse yourself at the expense of authority, and we understood where the boundaries were. Even during such a regimented life, there’s always things you can do.

This one day, for example, Avi decided he was done with the learning material early. Now, that doesn’t mean he actually learned the material, but he always was the smart one. He learned fast, let me tell you.

He’d learned as much as he could, or as much as he wanted to, on the subject we were studying. Don’t ask me what. I don’t really remember. Probably something dry like terrain affordance with respect to tracked vehicles, wheeled vehicles, or legged vehicles or something like that. Anyways, he felt… constrained. He didn’t want to be there anymore, looking at words he already knew the meaning of. And so, he decided he’d much rather do something else.

We sat in rows with observers and proctors walking around, always watchful for anything. However, Avi was sneaky. He’d wait until they were distracted with someone else, then he would try slicing into the terminal.

Yeah. I don’t know how, but he somehow got or made the tools to do it. I told you he was smart.

Not only smart, but motivated, actually. Motivated by boredom.

Well, Avi pulled this off several times, but almost never got anywhere. Mostly, he’d fail to get past the security systems. However, this one time, he actually got through!

And then, he had no idea what to do.

So he sat and thought. And waited.

And then, this brother of mine — my most intelligent brother — decided he’d write a message to the Kaminoan prime minister telling him that a pair of aiwha were mating above his office. He then signed out of his terminal and waited.

And would you believe it? Nothing actually happened. Obviously, they looked around for who sent that message, but they somehow never found out.

Now, Avi is no real slicer, not like the specialists in the commando corps. And yet, he’d covered his tracks well enough that no one was the wiser. I couldn’t believe it when he told me a month later what he’d done, but I congratulated him all the same.

…That was a lie.

I absolutely hit him and told him he was an idiot for pulling that stunt. He was that close to getting himself “terminated.” If he’d been caught, I probably wouldn’t have ever seen him again.

Yes… I know I can’t see him now. I know.

Not anymore.

I’m fine. I’m fine…

I’ll be fine.

≡][≡ ⬦⬦⬦ ≡][≡

“You’re a good listener,” Tension remarks.

“Oh… uh, thanks.”

“Heh. No. Thank you, again. It really does help, just talking about them.”

“That’s good. I find it interesting. You’re all different, not just in the Force, but in personality. You only share an outward physical appearance.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Tension fidgets, barely holding back from scratching his leg as he thinks. He turns, looking at the curtains separating him from the other patients — the clones and the Jedi.

“Different, huh. We… we knew that. But, it feels nice to have that confirmation, you know? Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Anybody could have told you that, though. Any Jedi, at least.”

“That’s good,” Tension mutters, looking away. “That’s good.”

“Master Corr is on the way now,” you say. She’s finished with the others, having given them all short checkups. From her emotions, you can tell she’s happy with the rate of their recovery. Hopefully they’ll be able to leave here soon, healthy and happy. She’s a little ways out though, so you ask, “Are there any last things you wanted to talk about?”

“Hmm,” Tension frowns, struggling to find something. “I guess I’d like to hear more about what’s been happening with you. Do you have the time for that?”

You glance at Master Corr again, then shake your head. “No. That’ll probably take too long. How about I visit again later?”

“Sure! I’ll be waiting.”

You stand up, making room for Master Corr as she enters the room a minute later. She chats quietly with Tension as she works, efficiently running through the checkup in less than ten minutes. A farewell to Tension, and then you’re off, back to work.

It’s a long day once again. Not as long as yesterday, but still rather tiring. However, you’re finished much earlier than before and so you now have some free time!

What should you do now, then?

Well, you’ve got the Trials coming up, but you’re actually not too worried about it. Your work with Master Lasah covered the third Trial, which you’d been worrying about the most. The others? Not so much.

There is no emotion, there is peace.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

There is no death, there is the Force.

You quietly recite the Jedi Code, emphasizing the words at the end of each line.

Peace. Knowledge. Serenity. Harmony. Force.

You touch your mask, reclaimed and re-placed onto your face. You run your fingers along its surface, feeling the smooth finish against your skin. Your fingers bump up against a ridge, then slide over a smoother, plastic surface. A sticker.

Knowledge.

You have much need for it, and thus you hold it in high regard.

The code is easy. You’ll pass the first Trial with no issue. Meditation? Also easy. You do it every day!

Combat? Less so, but you think you can hold your own. If your second Trial is geared toward this rather than meditation, you’ll most likely still pass.

You hope.

Right now, however, you’ll not be training up for the Trials. Instead, you want to focus on your other Force skills; that is, all the stuff you’ve learned but not gotten the chance to refine. First, you’ll start with Battle Meditation, Force Cleanse, and Force Sight — you can always get better with each. Actually, you haven’t even gotten Force Cleanse to a point where you would be comfortable using it fully! You’ve only been using it on occasion as a tool to clear your mind, making it easier to concentrate and to sleep. You need to practice more, especially now that Master Nu is unable to find the time to teach you.

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Learning Cleanse, of course, is difficult without a teacher. There is a rather good reason why you’d become so frustrated with it in the past. Now, it’s even more onerous to make progress, but make progress you do.

You sit in the corner of the central courtyard, away from distractions. The air up here smells… not clean, but certainly better than down in the city below. High above you, spacecraft soar, gaining altitude and shooting off into the distance toward systems beyond even your sight.

It’s relaxing, just enough to offset the irritation you feel when a spark of Cleanse fizzles away in your hand. Sighing, you stand up. You need to stretch your legs and take a break from this.

You start making your way around the perimeter of the courtyard, jogging to get your heartrate up. It’s a good thing you’d decided to go without a cloak today as the heat from the late-afternoon sun is still enough to make you sweat.

Damnable Cleanse. Stupid Force stuff. It’s always so hard at first!

You look ahead, always semi-aware of your peripherals.

You sigh again as you slow to a walk. You make your way up to the ancient tree, the relatively tiny thing so lonely up here at the top of the Temple. Here is the heart of the Temple, as some would say. You’re not sure you’d agree, but the flow of Force here is certainly strong enough to make it a possibility.

You look up. Searching.

What color are the tree’s leaves? You don’t remember. It’s been so long since you’ve seen it with your mortal eyes.

You remember dancing beneath it with Master Lasah. You remember playing beneath it with your friends, irreverent with naive youth.

Even though you see so much — the whirlwind colors of the Living Force; the dance of atoms and energy; the background wash of thousands of minds and souls — you can’t even see such a basic aspect of the world without revealing your warp-eye.

You hate it.

No, no.

Not something so strong; not when you know you have an easy workaround. However, you definitely dislike it.

You need to better yourself. You need to train your skills. You need to understand Master Lasah’s words.

You need to perceive the Materium as she does.

Forget what you know. Forget light. Forget darkness. Forget sight.

Merely perceive.

What is before you?

The Force tells you it’s a tree, brimming with life and breathing the Force. Though ancient, the tree still stands strong, exposed to the elements high up here at the top of the Jedi Temple. Its roots greedily suck up water and nutrients from the shallow soil, transporting both throughout its body and to the parched leaves above.

Its bark, paper thin at first glance, belies a flexibility and sturdiness borne from an epoch of harsh life. It’s said this tree is older than even Grandmaster Yoda. It’s said that this tree has seen it all — Jedi, Sith, and clashes of powers from an ancient era.

This tree is the Force. The Force is the tree. You see it.

All you need to do is— not look, not listen, but perceive. Let the Force tell you what it is. You need not infer. You need not guess. You just know, for the Force tells you everything.

Everything.

You pull off your mask and wipe at your face, the remnants of hot tears trickling downwards and along the contours of your mouth.

You remember now.

You remember laughing, reaching up toward the branches so high above, trying to pull Tera’s cloak back down for her.

You remember smiling, gazing up past the spiny leaves as the sun fell behind the central Spire, casting you into a cool shadow.

You remember scrambling over the roots and dirt, rushing to duck behind the tree while Nyine was still counting down.

A greenish yellow leaf, falling down upon you and into your giggling mouth. An ugly brown husk, wrought with wizened sun-dried amber. The tree is old, but it is forgiving. It knows its place in the ever fleeting world, and though hunched with age, it gazes down with unreserved kindness.

And then it’s gone.

You blink, though it does nothing other than spit a hiss of steam into the open air. The tree — the world — is as it was only five minutes ago.

Your lips pull downwards, a hint of disappointment weighing down on you. It’s back to work once again, huh? It’s never easy. However, you now know what to look for. You can do it again. It always comes down to practice, and this one is a touch easier to do than Cleanse.

You’ll try again later, for you still have more on your plate. You have more training to do.

≡][≡ ⬦⬦⬦ ≡][≡

You drop down, ducking under Cho’an’s swing with millimeters to spare. As she moves, you mirror her action, keeping time and distance with each lightning-quick step.

A bolt glances off her saber, whispering a word of heat and danger as it passes by the back of your head.

Ignore it. Ignore it.

You jump and twist and dodge and twirl, always keeping Cho’an between you and the droid — not just with your movements, but with your meditation.

Battle Meditation requires a training partner, so you’ve gone and found Cho’an for help as usual. In the warehouse, you’d hid behind boxes as you’d meditated, letting the CorSec officers do their jobs. However, you’re a Jedi. You can’t just sit back while others do the work, right? You need to lead. You need to be in front, or in a position where you can protect.

You need to work with your team.

Cho’an steps backward into a graceful bow. You step forward smoothly, pulling her into a deeper one alongside you as the training droid fires a fan of energy where her head used to be.

Together, you and Cho’an straighten up, then push the droid away to gain some space. You spin again, letting Cho’an cover you as you call your own saber toward you from the side of the arena.

And then, it’s your turn to defend.

You spend another ten minutes training, moving constantly to keep the droid away from Cho’an while just barely holding on to your meditative connection with her. It’s hard. It’s so, so difficult to concentrate, as all you want to do is let go and let your instincts take over.

But, you can’t.

You must be in control. You must be calculative.

You can, and you do, let your body handle the defense, but you must think about where you and Cho’an must be. The Force helps much, but it certainly seems more willing if you’ve got the inertia moving in the right direction already.

It’s good training.

Finally, the droid beeps, warning of low charge. You stop, letting go of Cho’an and breathing heavily. To the side, you hear clapping, but you don’t turn your head to look.

You have no need.

“Very good, the both of you.” Master Lasah strides forward, a small smile on her face. “I am quite happy at your progress. Next time, however, Cho’an should lead. Xena, you already have had much practice. Cho’an needs to catch up.”

“Yes, Master,” you gasp out, still catching your breath. Cho’an only nods slightly, not capable of speaking while she drains her canteen. In between breaths, you too take quick sips from your own bottle, emptying it all too soon.

“Good. Xena, may I have a word with you? I have some news.”

You brighten up, a surge of excitement refreshing your mind, if not your body. “Sure!”

“Follow.”

You leave Cho’an behind, sticking close to Master Lasah as she strolls through the Temple halls. She’s silent, a pensive look on her face that quirks into a smile when she notices you looking.

“Master?”

“Almost there.”

You head upwards, up and up back to the top of the Temple. Back to the courtyard. Back to the tree, now waving in a chilly evening breeze.

“I was here earlier.”

“Oh? Well, it is a nice place to relax.”

“I was practicing. I was using my Force Sight, trying to ‘perceive’ as you told me to.”

“And?”

“I succeeded. Once.”

“Very good!” she says with a courtesy round of applause. You bow low, sweeping your hand out and across your chest as theatrically as you can.

Master Lasah stifles a chuckle as you scramble to pick up your mask, it having fallen to the ground since you’d forgotten to tighten it fully. Your pout is ineffective, failing to silence her and instead causing her to smile wider.

“Any further luck?” she asks once you’ve secured it back on.

“No. I’ll work on it more later.”

She nods, then sits down, her back against the tree. She pats the ground next to her and you follow her lead, sitting as well.

“Master? What did you need?”

“You can probably guess.”

“My Trials?”

“Yes,” she says with a laugh. “Your ‘Trials.’ A joke, at this point. All you will have to do is meet with Master Yoda again and he will judge if you are capable.”

“Isn’t that still… rough?”

“Rough? No. Of course not. You remember he has been on your side this whole time, yes? He will pass you in an instant. You have nothing to fear.”

“Oh! That’s good, then!” you say with relief.

“Indeed.”

You sit in the tree’s shade, the heat of the sun long forgotten. You’re again thinking of your cloak now. You’re getting goosebumps — useless for heat retention due to your lack of hair, though it wouldn’t be much help in a normal human anyways.

“Cold?”

You nod. In response, Master Lasah stands and pulls you up after her.

“No sense in falling ill. Back inside now.”

As you walk, heading back towards the stairs, you turn to Master Lasah another time. “Master, what happened with Ryker? Did you get any final answer?”

“Curious, are you?”

You nod again.

“Good. Well, the answer is still somewhat muddy, but it does fall along the hypothesis you presented. CorSec was able to extract the relevant data from the medical droid’s logs, and it does seem that it did inject Knight Ryker with something. Apparently, the droid believed it to be some sort of over the counter prescription drug — nothing to be alarmed about. Obviously it was far more nefarious than that. Nobody is going to be easily gaining an injection of an over the counter drug without verification of identity.”

“And the oranges? Did that actually end up in the… the narcotic?”

“Yes. Most likely. Using the samples we were able to extract of the oranges and the narcotics, CorSec was able to find traces of the narcotics in the oranges and vice-versa. It is rather clear that they were transported together.”

“So, Ryker did actually die from an allergy attack?”

“That, we cannot clearly say. Everything points toward it, but it is also possible she had a stronger reaction to the narcotic too. There is no easy way to tell now, but it does not matter too much anymore. She is dead, but we did recover the artifact safely.”

“What does the artifact actually do?” you ask. “Does it actually make dreams?”

Master Lasah gives a wry smile, her true-self shrouded by the tell-tale cloak of a secret still in hiding.

“That, I still cannot say.”

“Aw. Really?”

“Really. Now, off with you. You still have to eat, yes?”

You frown, annoyed at the short dismissal. You won’t dig into it! She knows that, right?

Even so, you do nod, morphing the last bob of your head into a bow of good-bye. She bows in return and then you’re off.

You’ll eat, and then you’ll dream.

You want to find out what it is — the thing that other-you is searching for.

Why are you even having this dream? Only the God-Emperor knows, and perhaps this thing in your arm.

You look down and give your arm a wiggle. Nothing.

Ah, well. You’ll interrogate it later — both your dream and your weird arm thing. It’s time to eat!