What would it be like to be truly blind? What if you weren’t a Jedi? What if your warp-eye had been struck out too? What if you had no other senses besides that of a baseline human, and then lost your eyes? There are probably hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people out there in the far-reaching galaxy afflicted by this disability. How do they get by, unable to see — unable to even sense! — the people around them.
You admire them and pity them. All those people out there, suffering, but still retaining the determination to succeed or just live on. You, on the other hand, are cursed by the constant input of omnipresent senses. Your witchsight, for so long, has fed you the buzz of faraway thoughts and feelings, causing a perpetual headache that you’re only rarely able to escape from. Your telepathy only brought those foreign thoughts closer and made them slightly clearer, and thus has exacerbated the problem. And of course, your warp-eye and your budding Force Sight gives you even more input in staggered flashes. Your loss of eyes is not a non-issue, but it’s significantly diminished by the feedback from all your other senses.
You still wonder, though. What would it be like to be deprived of all your gifts? Would you still remain in the Order? Would you have the support to keep you going? Many people out there can rely on their friends and family, and just as many, if not more, lack even that. What do you have?
You have no doubt you would be well cared for in the Halls of Healing, albeit until you can handle yourself, but would that assistance extend beyond what healing they can actually offer? Would you still be a Jedi, if you’d lost your eyes? Of course you would — eyes do not make a Jedi. It’s the teachings, the way of living, and the oneness with the Force.
But, what if you lost more? What if the daemon had somehow eradicated even your Force sensitivity? Would you still be accepted here, or would you be thrown out into the streets of Coruscant once Master Corr had ensured you could at least stand on your own two feet? You’d like to think that that would not happen. After all, that is not the way of the Jedi. Jedi have compassion. It is one of the tenets you live by. Yet, you’re not sure if you would still be truly accepted. What is a Jedi without the Force?
Nothing.
And so, if you were nothing, then there would be nothing here for you in the Temple. You probably wouldn’t even be given a place in the Service Corps. What would happen then?
You twist the knob until the water stops, then step out of the stall and grope about for the towel you left on the floor. Where is it?
You concentrate your Force Sight, ignoring the extraneous information it gives you and search only in your immediate surroundings for that sneaky towel. Ah, there. You’d accidentally kicked it to the side earlier while lost in thought. You dry yourself, then dress yourself too. It’s still too difficult to make out the smaller details with your Force Sight — why are you able to see through walls with it, but not make out the difference between the inside and the outside of fresh clothing? — and so you open your third-eye to make sure you’re dressed properly.
You pull on your tunic and your pants, then cover both with your Initiate’s robe. Finally, you slip on the new black synthetic gloves Master Corr found for you, and don your mask and headband.
After getting the approval from Master Drallig a fortnight ago, you’d gone and found one of the Temple artisans to help you out with finishing the mask. The artisans typically work on lightsabers, but since your request was simple enough — just a minor change and a repainting of an already made mask — they’d easily acquiesced. The primary modifications to the mask were some resizing to make it fit on your face, the blocking-off of the rectangular eye-slits so that your warp-changed eyes aren’t visible, and a cut across the top, just above your brow so you can continue to wear your headband. On the now smooth face of the mask is an ornate design in gold: a column-like shape with two wings sprouting from the sides and a stylized eye set dead-center. You’ve also kept some of the original swooping filigree to tie the mask back to its origins.
You’re not exactly sure how you came up with this design, but it feels right. It goes nicely with the robe Master Masbau left for you, matching in color and style. However, whenever you walk down the halls of the Temple you can feel your fellow Jedi staring at you. According to your friends, the mask is creepy. What was once an austere, pure mask of a temple guard is now somehow dark. It is, if you’d correctly interpreted the muttering of a Knight you’d passed, almost too much like something a Sith would wear.
That doesn’t stop you, though. This is your mask, and you’re no Sith! You’re a Jedi, which means that this is a Jedi’s mask. They’ll get used to it, and it’ll at least keep the stares off your eyes, your horns, your tail, or your arms. There’s plenty strange with you already, what’s one more thing? So, despite the stares and the advice against it from the Masters you know, you still wear it. Proudly!
And so, you exit the ‘fresher and head back to your room. You’ve finally been released from the medical ward and are now able to sleep in your own bed, and walk about on your own two feet. At last, you can once again listen to the snores of your friends and the clamoring of their incessant puerile thoughts!
You do love them. They’re your friends! You’ve grown up with them, which means they’re practically family, but it gets hard to remember that when you find it difficult to sleep with their constant mental noise. It’s not their fault, but you suffer anyway.
Your arms hurt far less now. You still go visit Master Corr every day though for a checkup and to dip your arms in a bacta bath for a few minutes. However, even though they merely get sore most of the time, your strength has greatly waned. You’ve spent a whole month languishing in a bed, doing the barest minimum of exercise. Master Corr will be putting you on a physical therapy regimen for at least the next month. Hopefully you’ll be able to regain your strength soon. You’re going to need it!
Your friends’ Trials are coming very soon — only about another week to go! — and you hope your own will come next. You need to prepare, and you can’t do so with weak, noodly arms. Once you’ve proved that you won’t be a problem, the Council will definitely let you take your Trials! Master Corr would take you as a Padawan for sure if you asked, and you know the Council is counting on her to be your minder anyway. So, as long as you show her that you’re a good Youngling and are “safe,” then there’s no way they’ll be able to hold you on probation, right?
Speaking of training and preparation, you’ve got plenty more to do, even with the weeks’ work you’ve put in. You’re getting close with your Force Purification, and your Force Sight has significantly improved. However, since you’re starting to get the hand of Force Sight, you think it makes much more sense to learn more about Battle Meditation from Master Lasah than Force Sight. You can learn Force Sight on your own if you need to. It’s just a matter of practice. Battle Meditation on the other hand…
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Master Lasah first started with a historical overview of Battle Meditation and its uses, mostly reviewing what she’d told you the last time you asked about it. According to the stories she tells, however, it is clear to see how effective it can be. A well managed force, even when outnumbered, can outmaneuver and often win battles. Battle Meditation has made this possible in many cases. Not only that, but it has a major effect on morale too — bolstering that of allies and sometimes diminishing that in enemies. It’s a powerful tool, and you’re beginning to understand how lucky you are to have someone able to teach you.
However, Master Lasah, while a Jedi Master, is no true master of Battle Meditation. She is not an expert of old, merely adept at the technique thanks to the teachings of her own master. She is not martially inclined like Master Masbau, and she has not seen the combat or battles necessary for her to hone the technique. She has only ever used it in small scale engagements in her work as an Investigator, and thus does not have the experience to teach you its intricacies. However, she can at least get you started on the path.
A problem with learning the technique is that you will need several volunteers for training sessions. After all, what’s the point if you don’t have a force to command? You will likely be able to recruit your friends for this once their Trials are over. Right now, they’re simply too busy preparing to spare the time. Instead, Master Lasah demonstrates the technique on you so you can feel the effects of it, then has you attempt it on her in return. You repeat this over and over again, but have yet to do more than understand the overarching concept.
Even so, you’re not discouraged. This technique is powerful in the right situation, and finding someone who can teach it is incredibly rare. The fact that Master Lasah is even willing to teach it to you when you’re not her apprentice makes the situation even stranger still. The more you think about that, the luckier you feel. You’ve had three Jedi Masters teaching you powerful Force techniques without an apprenticeship! Who else could boast of that? And, how is it that you’re so lucky to be given these opportunities? You can’t say. All you can do is be thankful and try your best to take their lessons to heart.
You’ll get a grasp on Battle Meditation in time, just like with Stanch, Purification, and Sight. It’s just a matter of practice. Just as always.
≡][≡ ⬦⬦⬦ ≡][≡
“Good evening, Master Nu.” you greet her, while walking up to her desk.
Confusion and apprehension flits across her before recognition dawns. “Is that you, Xena? That’s a rather unique look you’ve got there.”
“Heh. Yeah… Master Masbau left me his mask and told me I could change it and wear it.”
“What’s with the eye and wings?”
“I like eyes. I’ve only got one left!”
“And now you have two.”
“Yeah!”
“And the wings?”
“I dunno. It felt right.”
“Well, I suppose it looks good. It would look better if it were hung on a gallery wall and not on your face, though. It’s a bit…” she trails off.
“Creepy?”
“I wasn’t going to put it like that, but yes. That’s correct.”
You shrug, then continue on. She’ll just have to get used to it.
“Master Nu, I heard that you were advocating for me. Thank you for that.”
“You’re most welcome, but I wish I could have done more. You should not be receiving such ‘punishment’ for your actions. You did not know any better. We didn’t know any better, and still don’t either. I have continued searching through the Archives for something, anything, that could be related to what you have experienced, and I have found nothing. No mention of any such creatures as you have described, and still nothing on those storms you spoke about way back. I’ve trawled through all the records I could get my hands on and went through the Holocron vault again. I’ve even enlisted some help in looking through the more public shelves, and yet nothing can be found.”
“Ah. Um, thank you, Master. I didn’t expect you to go so far in your search.”
“It is nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am the Master Archivist, keeper of great knowledge, and yet I cannot help you in this regard. It is a great disappointment! This Library holds knowledge on nearly everything in existence, yet it is now proven to be missing rather significant information.”
She sighs. “There is, however, one thing I know of that may be helpful to you.”
“What is it?” you ask.
“You use Force Stanch to cleanse corruption within yourself, yes?”
“That’s right.”
“There are other techniques that do the same, but better.”
“Yes. Master Corr is teaching me Force Purification right now.”
“Good. There is also another technique that may be useful. Force Cleanse. Where Purification is meant for the body, Cleanse is meant for the mind and spirit. This is a technique I have some familiarity with, and I would be willing to teach you this. However, it is a very difficult technique to learn.”
“You’re really willing to teach me?”
“Yes, but it would be a significant time commitment on both our parts, and I, unfortunately, have many other duties to attend to. If something were to come up, I may be unable to continue lessons for a time.”
You were just thinking about this, weren’t you? That you’ve been lucky to find so many Masters willing to teach you advanced techniques, when you’re merely an Initiate. And now, another one! You could, and probably should, jump on this opportunity, but what she said about the time commitment could indeed be an issue.
You already have plenty on your plate. You’re currently learning three other techniques, and you’re soon going to be losing more time to your upcoming physical therapy. You’re already learning Force Purification from Master Corr. In her demonstrations of it, you’ve seen it banish warp-taint just as easily as Stanch. Does Cleanse do the same?
“Master Nu, could you try it on me? I want to see if it works.”
“Of course.”
She reaches out her hand and you place yours on her palm. A few minutes of concentration on her part, and you can feel the Force swirl in a great vortex around you. You look out with your warp-eye and your Force Sight, trying to see what is happening, but see nothing except for a great blue roiling wave of cleansing Force. At an unspoken signal from Master Nu, it spirals down into your hand and rushes through your body, tearing away warp-taint wherever it goes! And as it passes, your mind feels soothed.
The constant beating of thought against thought has worn down the barriers of your mind. You had not noticed until just now. With the passing of the Cleanse, the thoughts were kept at bay for just a moment, but long enough for the Cleanse to also repair your walls.
It certainly works, and from what you can tell, it’s far more effective than either Stanch or Purification. But, is this something you can afford to start learning right now? The warp-taint within you doesn’t seem to be a major issue, and Purification will be able to hold it at bay. Then again, is this something you can afford to pass up? The respite it gave to your mind is invaluable!
“Yes,” you say, after a minute more of deliberation. “Please teach me.”