Chapter 170: There's (Going to Be) Something Off about Lizardbreath....

"Better yet," Noburi said, "I've got just the right thing for him: essence of betel nut."

Hazō raised an eyebrow. "Betel nut?"

"Yeah," Noburi said, smiling cruelly. "Think about it: assume he actually was taking drugs. What would he be taking? Not a hallucinogen, not if he's taking it at the Academy. Not a feel-good—if they're strong enough to give you much of a high then they leave you lethargic and fuzzy-headed, something else he couldn't afford at work. No, he'd be taking something to help him get through the day, right? So, stimulants. Everyone drinks tea to get a lift, but maybe he needs something stronger. Unfortunately, his latest dose was a hotshot...poor quality control, no doubt. The drug mixer was careless, used a little too much betel nut meat in his wash, ended up with something that would give a chakra panther heart palpitations. Lizardbreath takes some, he starts getting the sweats, can't sit still, needs to be moving. Gets him out of his office and rushing around the building. Walking too fast, talking too fast and too loud, jumpy and angry. The effect will come on over a few minutes as it gets digested. With the right dose, when the stuff hits peak intensity it should send him into a full-on fit of paranoia. A very visible fit of paranoia. Oh, and best of all: the stuff has mild aphrodisiac properties, so he might even get himself in trouble with some of the other teachers."

"You have this stuff on you?"

Noburi nodded. "Sure. It's a basic part of any medkit. In small doses it's no problem, commonly used as a stimulant to get wounded or chakra-exhausted ninja back on their feet so they can run."

"You have not yet mentioned side effects," Keiko said. "What risks would the concentrate pose?

"Well..." Noburi looked uncomfortable. "Nothing serious. Maybe a little vomiting, some diarrhea, chest pain, heart attack, death, shortness of breath, that kind of thing...."

Keiko fixed him with a gimlet eye. "I seem to recall something about causing fatalities being discouraged under the Exam rules."

"Look, it's not a problem, okay?" Noburi snapped. "That's only if you take a massive overdose. I just won't give him that much."

"How would we administer it?" Hazō asked, interjecting himself without any intent to derail the incipient argument, nope nope nope.

"It'll dissolve in alchohol. We just need to spike his booze or coat the inside of his mugs. The oil is a light yellow and tastes smokey, but the alcohol will cover a lot of that."

"Okay, so that part of the plan seems feasible," Hazō said. "What about political consequences? If we did this, would it be likely to have any sort of fallout on Mist, Leaf, or the alliance?"

Both of the boys looked at Keiko. She looked at them in disgusted betrayal. "Really?"

"Seems like a reasonable question?"

She sighed. "Politics is difficult to model. Obviously, so long as we are not caught there will be no political consequences. If we are caught on the way in to plant the drugs then it would most likely be seen as a failed prank. It would be an embarrassment to Jiraiya that we would do such a thing, and a greater embarrassment that we were caught. If we are caught after Headmaster Ichigaya drinks the stimulants, then any injury or property damage that he inflicts, including to himself, will be treated as collateral damage that we caused. The only good news is that he is not a contestant, so when we are inevitably caught and convicted, I doubt they will be able to claim that we motivated another team to cause collateral damage. On the other hand, if Noburi miscalculates the dose and the Headmaster dies then it will be treated as us causing a fatality during this event—Leaf's bond will be forfeit and all Leaf contestants will be ejected from Mist. "

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"Let's avoid that last one."

"Don't worry, I'll be careful."

"What about getting a message to Jiraiya via pangolin?" Hazō asked, looking around quickly before he spoke and then lowering his voice. "I could see this being the sort of bold stroke he'd approve of—shoot, I could even imagine him outing us himself, once the Exams are over. It would give him a hell of a political windfall to be able to say that Leaf in general, and his kids in particular, are such good ninja that just three us were able to shape national policy."

"Are we seriously going forward with this feather-brained idea?"

"Hell yeah!" said Noburi, grinning. "C'mon, you know you want to see Old Lizardbreath get his."

Keiko hesitated before grimacing and admitting, "It would be...not entirely unsatisfying."

"So, are we doing this?" The expression on Noburi's face made clear that this was less of a question and more of a playground taunt.

Keiko glowered at him. "Very well. Yes, sending a message to Jiraiya is a good idea. It can be done securely, and it will offer him an opportunity to either capitalize on our success or order us not to commence. He will be checking in at sundown, so we have about three hours to plan. I am unsure what 'planning' would consist of—we cannot afford to be seen on the grounds of the Academy while wearing our bandanas, meaning that the only practical scheme will be to sneak in after hours without being seen."

"Noburi, can you have the drugs ready by then?" Hazō asked.

Noburi nodded. "No problem. I've got a bunch of the oil in a vial. I'll measure some of it out and then whoever goes in just pours the whole amount in. Which brings us to the real question: who's going in? Two of us need to stay with the old bat."

Hazō was irritated but utterly unsurprised when two pairs of eyes locked on him.

"Okay," he said. "As to who to send in, it seems to me like the logical choice is—"

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Sorry this is short; family ate much of my day today. @Velorien will continue from here, and will be responsible for XP and FP awards.

Vote time! What to do now? You can:

* Do nothing (default option): If there is no relevant voting then Keiko will attempt the burglary tonight, since in an emergency she can have herself reverse-summoned to the Seventh Path in order to temporarily avoid detection. (Note that she must go back to the same place and cannot tell what's happening there, so this is something of a desperation tactic.)

* Suggest that either Hazō or Noburi should be the one to go in. On the one hand, Hazō has Living Roots which might let him detect people coming sooner. On the other, Noburi is actually the medic.

* Hazō's common sense says that sending a pangolin in alone would be unwise, since if one was caught it would instantly reveal that it was your team. If there are at least 15 votes in favor of overriding this opinion then you may do so.

* You can rethink the whole idea and not go forward with it, in which case you should suggest what you want to do instead.

* Write-in.

Voting ends on Wednesday, March 28, 2018, at 12pm London time.