H

One of the most distinct particularities of that one magic I have myself developed is its almost-quasi-autonomy. Only twice in my more than fifteen, no, seventeen years of existence did it work partially in my full control.

That’s it. Unlike most nobles or magical beasts, I almost never had control over that magical power of mine. Instead, it worked passively behind my back, going as far as twisting even my own perception of reality.

One of its first instances of doing so is how I never remembered those frequent illnesses that struck me every two weeks, which now I realize were the instances in which my magic would take over to consume the entity to which I was, through this body, still to an extent connected to.

For more than two years, for me against that thing to which I was connected, it only acted as some sort of auto-immune-defenso-offensive magic.

Even now, I’m still confused as to how it works, but I know that its versatility ranges from one thing to another. In fact, that magic was able to bypass the seal of baptismal. Of course, the seal was still present but wasn’t in any way efficiently preventing my magic from operating as it saw fit. In fact, it was that same seal and its inability to contain it that mostly triggered the fever and the ill-condition I so often and recurrently found myself in. Three forces over which I had absolutely no control over were battling within. It was to no surprise that I often found myself in near-death experiences each time it occurred.

Regardless of how flawlessly my baptism appeared to have gone, none of the magic I had inherited from the twin was bound by the baptismal itself. Instead, it was the magic that I had personally developed, which had acted as a seal from the moment I was born, for it knew what would have happened if I were to use it.

Despite still being not understanding myself the ins and outs of that magic, I know that there was one absolute rule that my magic obeyed: my safety.

Whether it was emotional or from the threat posed by the entity I was passively feeding upon for two years, during my first 9 years of life, this magic manifested itself through the rather un-magic-like and harmless ability to delete, or at the very least bury, memories that it deemed painful to me. A particular case that came to mind in this instance is that one time where Luke revealed to me the possibility that I could’ve done something that I would myself deem unforgivable.

I was not ready to face the truth, so my magic reaction was to attempt to bury the memories of what our discussion was all about, which of course failed given how many external factors were working to remind me of our discussion back then.

It was only a few months after that incident that my magic displayed its other ability, other than the one it had already displayed priorly.

That night, knowing that I was in harm’s way, my magic frantically started to attempt to free itself entirely from Vicar Serena’s baptismal, which explains her strange reaction from that night. Yet, before it could accomplish it, things had already gone south beyond salvation, ultimately resulting in Syrus’s sacrifice.

My magic, triggered by what I felt back then and the time I was given by his sacrifice, was given enough to be temporally unleashed.

That night, for the first time, I unleashed that ability, which was the external manifestation of what my magic was from an outer perspective and was what I, as Han and Hon, referred to as the vessels.

Yes, as to what, or should I clearly say, who was my first vessel, I suppose, at this point, anyone could guess who it was.

Syrus

I fought the Fourteen with the power my magic had amassed over the years of feeding on that thing.

That night, for the first time, I used the three pieces of magic I had in my dispôsition, but it was also there that I realized, though sadly too late, that there was one reason for my magic to act as a seal for the two others.

Though I was able, despite the shattered state I was in, to control the two other magics to an extent, I realized too late that, unlike what one would expect magic to behave, and maybe due to me not being the true and rightful wielder of both magics, these two, despite being in my possession, were something that was beyond me to handle. In the only instance I did, it not only taxed my mana, it taxed both the power my magic stored over two years and me as well.

I knew and realized for a fact that at the pace I was using it, I would eventually be devoured by both of them.

It was in a last attempt to save myself that I ended up witnessing for the second time the Syrus’ vanishing by their hands, and eventually led me to use the very marrow of my own self to unleash that last attack, which ultimately allowed me to retreat into the vicinity of the Iharana great forest.

Using the deathseeker spike, I plunged myself into sleep, in the hope that it would give me the respite my body, in the sorry state it was in, needed, and it indeed did.

I woke up from the lethargic state I was in, but before that, I finally took notice of how unconsciously self-gaslighting I was, as my magic attempted to bury the painful memory of that night.

That time, I also, for the first time, unconsciously and partially, refused to forget. It was simply impossible for me to forget. To forget is to forgive them, something that I couldn’t afford myself. My magic-no, at that point onward, I think that it was no longer my magic but rather my mind itself, to cope with whatever was going on, burying whatever was deemed unworth remembering or too painful to remember. I think it was from there that my path to madness started. The Iharana great forest didn’t drive me insane; I was already on the path to insanity even before everything I went through in these woods.

So I woke up, clinging to my lust for revenge as the last strand of sanity, and kept myself going. Time flew by and eventually, with time and with my rampage in the frozen layer, I managed to stack up power enough to manifest another vessel, but deep down a part of me was afraid and reminiscent of what happened that night, so I couldn't bring myself to use it.

It was when I managed to win over the Deathseeker that I finally allowed myself to manifest it as my self-proclaimed first vessel, but before I did, I once again created and manifested along with a vessel, which was a sign of improvement in my strength, and what I deep down yearned the most after spending one year on my own, a companion.

Thus was born my second vessel, and with it, the lonely duo of Han and Hon.

"From now on, I believe you already know the rest of the story on your own." I said.

Nia didn’t say anything, and instead simply nodded.

"For more than five years, I kept this masquerade going. And now that I look back at it, it felt just..."

"Lonely?"

I was about to say sad, but I guess "lonely" would do as well.

Why did I keep going on with this lie of being two even though I already met people like Nia and company like Heon, I wonder?

I might be asking myself that, but deep down I know that it was most likely to avoid facing the truth of my loneliness and the self-illusory aspect of the promise that kept myself moving forward for years: getting stronger as Han and Hon.

Perhaps I was doing so in an attempt to correct, to return to, or at least to mimic what I once was: a being born from two, and not in the conventional way.

"Freaky, isn’t it?"

I could tell from how she remained silent and how confused she looked that indeed it was. And, in a way, it was that freakiness that brought all of these problems upon me, but in the grand scheme of things, it saved me many times.

After all that time of being silent, she finally said, "... about being freaky. I won’t even try to deny that but---" She reached out her hand to me. As she did, it started glowing with a golden and blue radiance. "It would be rich, coming from someone like me, to say anything about someone's, like you, freakiness."

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Reaching onto her held-out hand, I saw flash before my eyes, an event that I was not there to witness.

What I witnessed were events of things that happened during the two years prior to today and even certain events beyond that, going as far as when we, from back then, met her for the first time.

In her grip, I felt her shivering while her gaze was plastered on me, scrutinizing every expression on my face as if she was looking for something wrong with it.

"You know... when you were asleep, I, too, found some answers to many questions I had left hanging, and I can honestly say that in terms of freakiness we’re evenly matched. "

"You know... when you were asleep, I, too, found some answers to many questions I had left hanging for some time now, and I can honestly say that in terms of being a freak of nature, we’re evenly matched. I learned about what Papa did, I learned about what he knew, and did for me to be here where I stand now. Before I didn't, but now I know what I am. "

"Nia,... you are."

Standing up, provoking Ezra to wake up in alert, a single glance from Nia reassured her of the confusion. She pulled me up and said, "Tomorrow, there is something I would like to show you, but before that." In a child-like manner that was quite a nostalgic sight to behold, she, all smiles, pointed at the giant tree behind us.

****

It was higher than I remembered it being, most likely due to the two years' worth of growth it went through during the two past years I spent sleeping.

"How does it feel?" Nia asked from the chamber above mine.

The first word that came to my mind was "nostalgic."

"..."

Pretty much guessing what she was thinking about, I immediately added, "In a good way."

"I see." After a short while, "I too find this nostalgic."

From how high the tree was now, I could see the moon shining brightly in the starless sky.

For a few minutes, we remained totally silent, to the point that I came to believe that she had already fallen asleep, but I still asked quietly, nonetheless, "Hey, Nia, are you still awake?"

Without even seeing her, I knew from the sound she made that she indeed was.

Last time I was here, I had promised you to come back shortly, and all of this happened... I wasted two of your years here. "I-"

With a yawn and a sleep-drunk voice, she said, "Hey, you know, it’s good to have you back. I won’t deny that these last two years were very... I admit, I was lonely so much that I remembered the time I spent in the dream, and even came to mostly understand how you came to be the way you were with Han and Hon, but the thing is, I wasn't alone; I had her, Ezra, Cyvrae, the other dragons, and even if you were sleeping in your egg, I knew you were still there, so even if I felt lonely, it didn't take me long to realize that I wasn't alone, and that I wasn't on my own."

"I see."

With yet another yawn, she announced, "Besides, I had a lot to do so... I had a task that waited for me to be fulfilled, so I had something to keep my mind occupied and something to spend my time on. "

"What?"

"I will show you tomorrow. But for now, good night... "

"Good night, Nia."

***

The next day, upon waking up, we did what had to be done and headed for the place she wished to show me.

We rode Ezra’s back, upon which we flew at full speed, amidst other flying dragons who behaved in a very peaceful manner at our sight as we headed toward our destination, but even then, it took us something like an entire day to reach the outskirts of that place.

During the flight, I almost instantly took notice of where that place could be as we flew in the direction in which I had for more than half a dozen years headed forward to, Southward,

We were heading toward where the battle against the Primordial Fire Dragon took place, and as we got closer, I immediately caught a glimpse of how much different the surroundings were to what was in my souvenir.

We were still several hundreds of kilometers from where the battle took place when Ezra already landed, seemingly because what Nia wanted to show me was here.

Upon our descent from the sky, Ezra cast us a glance before taking off for the sky. Her action prompted the smaller dragon on Nia's shoulder, called Cyvrae, to follow her, which it did with little to no difficulty despite its small wings.

"Is this what you wanted to show me?" I asked, glancing at what I knew for sure was the thing she wanted me to see.

Nodding with a smile, she ran toward it. "Beautiful, isn’t it?" she said, her voice muffled by the sound of the waves lapping on the shores.

Following her, each of my steps sank me a little bit deeper into the wet and gritty sand. The surroundings, unlike any other part of this forest, were of only two colors: caramel and blue.

I kept walking forward until reaching a place where my knee would be reached by the crawling wave. Upon taking a deep breath, a weird salty air came to my nostrils.

At first sight from Ezra’s back, I thought this was a lake, but soon I realized that with no end in sight, this was probably not a lake, but instead,

"Sea?"

"Yes, but not simply a sea, but it’s called an ocean." She said, spreading her arms wide to show me how enormous this place was.

"An ocean, huh?"

I had never seen one before. In fact, I had never seen the sea either. I only knew that it is believed that somewhere beyond the northern and eastern borders, far and far away, there is that salty body of water that is called the sea, completely opposite to the sky, yet sharing its same blue. However, when she mentioned the ocean, something clicked with me.

As she had said earlier, it was beautiful, but a question was bothering her from the moment this thing was in sight.

"Nia, what happened to the---" I interjected myself, to the self-realization of my question.

My question was concerning the relief, the trees, the mountains, and the volcanoes that used to teem this region for hundreds, if not thousands, of kilometers; it couldn’t have just disappeared like that, replaced by this "ocean", but as I was asking Nia for an answer, I myself realized the answer.

Where?

Annihilated, of course.

By what?

By my actions, obviously.

"Is this the ocean that you've been working on for the past two years?"

Stopping playing with the water, she responded, nodding, "Yes. The aftermath of the battle between you and her was disastrous.

Glancing up to the sky, I saw the small red dragon trying to keep up with Ezra's vulturing flight above the ocean.

"Cyvrae?"

"Him?... While creating this ocean, I found him as an egg in the middle of the debris. He is, I believe, the last of his kind in this area."

"The last of its kind, huh? I see. "

Having revealed the fates of the being living on this place, and upon looking at me, Nia immediately seemed to have regretted having done so.

"...I..."

"Nia, I know. I’m fine, "I reassured.

Though still unsure, she did her best to not dwell on it for long.

I still had questions regarding how she did all of this, but upon glancing at the blue horizon, the scenery reminded me of what Nia did that time in the region I was training in. If she was able to turn wasteland into a grazing forest, then achieving something like this must be somewhere within her capability.

After a while, while I was sitting on the beach, Nia approached me with a strange star-shaped grotesque creature in her hand, which she presented to me with a smile.

"Hey, look at this. This is cute, isn’t it?" She said, trying to cheer me up.

I nodded, but to be honest, I was far from thinking it would be cute.

"The big red dragons,"... It will be a slow process, but life will undoubtedly spring from their ashes and the ashes of everyone who lost their lives that day.She declared that she was returning the strange creature to its proper place.

***

Some time has passed. We were still on the beach, but the blue sky was now replaced by a dawny one.

Still sitting on the beach, to break the long silence we’ve been in since earlier this morning, Nia asked, "What are you thinking of?"

"Uhm? I have nothing... but if I were to say, you, during these last two years, accomplished so much. This is incredible, but—"

"But?"

"I wish circumstances were different, but things are what they are. I want to go back to the human continent. In this regard, I think I owe you a real apology. I promised to take you there two years ago, and here I am, two years late. I didn’t fulfill my promise to take you to civilization, but even if I wanted to do it now, it wouldn’t be for the right reason. I want to meet those people I so hardly tried to forget before it became too late. "

Upon seeing how much changed she was at my awakening, I realized

Within these couple of years, I was out of time, Nia and Ezra had changed so much, in this short period of time that it felt like just a sleep-full night for me. It made me realize that it most likely had been the case for everyone else.

Maa, Mael, Ramia, Lord Emilien, they too must have changed. I am only wondering how much.

"This... this is beautiful. Now I can fully appreciate it. But now I can clearly see it too. There is nothing here for me anymore. I know how selfish I am with this education.

"Fine. Let’s go. " She said, standing up in front of me.

"Huh?"

"I said, let’s go to the human continent. Isn’t this where you want to go? "

"What about you?"

"What about me? Wasn’t it always your promise to bring me there and show me that place. The time has just finally come, what else do you want me to say? "

Reaching her hand out to me, and calling me by my name, she said, "Let’s go."