The sounds of Joysworth McGiggles tearing through the ant defenders and beetle invaders echoed through the halls leading from the pillar room, along with a cacophony of screams and laughter.
I flew through the air like a missile aimed in the direction the Manhunter’s Badge pointed me. The further I went, the more ostentatious the surroundings became, with engraved pillars lining the massive corridors and abstract carvings flowing along the walls. I moved through chambers from which armies of ants surged forward to tackle the devastation wreaked by the Joy Monstrosity. They seemed to be emerging out of pods lining the chamber walls, as though freshly-baked for the occasion. Though, after a brief look, I realized the pods were tube-fed and pulling the ants from other parts of the enormous Hive Ship.
Still, I knew it wouldn’t be enough. If I hadn’t incapacitated the source of happiness juice that the CPS’s strongest fighters relied on, then maybe they would’ve had a chance. But that obviously wasn’t the case anymore. My Appraising Eyes ran across the soldiers and saw how their levels had dropped down to around 20 on average, even though they seemed fit to fight. Even the Aphid-Dogs were clearly affected, both in their levels and power, though I couldn’t quite tell why.
After another hallway, I went through what looked like a kennel of sorts, although it was perhaps more accurate to call it an Aphid-Dog prison camp, given the design of it. There were deep pits in the floor and at the bottom several young Aphids were fighting to the death, even now. It wasn’t hard to guess that the winner would then be elevated to become either the pet of a Collector Captain or an Executioner like the one that’d been dropped in front of Castle Twine.
Although most of the Aphid-Dogs available were already fighting and dying to Joysworth, there were several lying around inside the kennel as I passed through. Some Captains were trying to rouse them, while others lay dead, torn to shreds by their formerly-loyal pets. The turrets atop two languid Executioner Aphids tracked me as I flew by but did not fire. Or rather couldn’t fire.
“For an organization that has ‘Child Protection’ in their title, it seems there isn’t a single individual here, who didn’t exploit the children’s happiness for their own gain,” Panda commentated.
“It’s just like how any country calling themselves ‘The People’s yada-yada” tends to not really care much about democracy,” I pointed out.
“At least the real CPS before the Great Game wasn’t that bad.”
I frowned. “Don’t even get me started.”
From the Aphid-Dog kennel was a series of luxurious-looking areas that seemed like some kind of resort spa for the upper echelon of the Hive, with pools of honey similar to what the Healer in the Mall used to grant Full Recovery. However, the honey was all tainted a sickly blue and smelled like burning plastic. A few unfortunate Collector Captains, two Wardens, and a single Queenguard lay dead in the pools, the submerged parts of their bodies almost entirely dissolved.
The next chamber that followed was like a massive buffet, and there were even slot machines, roulettes, and blackjack tables in a corner of the room, as well as a ball pit, for some reason.
“Bet you they were exploiting the children for more than just the power that came from their happiness.”
“It’s probably the Tinctures,” Panda said.
I brought up the tooltip for the one Tina had given me.
‘Tincture of Full Recovery’ x
Although we can’t tell you what these little vials contain, we can reveal that the Child Protective Services is the only Agency in the GREAT GAME that produces them.
The Queen of the CPS Hive herself is said to consume dozens of these Tinctures daily, in order to keep her rapid aging and countless illnesses at bay. After all, she is the longest-living entity across all of the Agencies.
Consuming this tincture fully recovers your body and restores it to peak condition.
Weight: 1.2 Pandas
image [https://i.imgur.com/ja9SC2J.png]
“I think you’re right,” I replied. “They’re probably also produced from the happiness of children somehow.”
“She might be tough to beat if she has a stockpile of these things,” he remarked.
“If she’s as reliant on the children as the rest of her Hive, I don’t think it’ll be an issue,” I replied confidently. “Besides, Brock makes it impossible for anyone affected by his curse to heal.”
“I don’t know,” Panda said uncertainly. “She’s been mentioned a lot, and it seems she even acts as a Benefactor to some Players. She might be as strong as your old Benefactor, Miranda.”
“I thought you said Demons weren’t scary.”
“Not when compared to Absolutes and their offspring like Messimer, but they’re no joke when compared to humans.”
“It’ll be fine,” I reiterated.
I flew out of the luxury resort area and emerged into a long corridor wide enough to fit the Metro Train monster and still have room to spare. More of the engraved pillars lined the floor in rows of two and led to the largest blast door I’d seen in the Hive Ship thus far. Two towering Queenguards stood in front of it, even taller than the first one I’d encountered, and yet they only reached to about halfway up the height of the door they protected.
The Manhunter’s Badge was pointing right at the door.
“Bingo,” I said and increased the pull of gravity as I adjusted its aim to the guard on the right.
While the pillars flew by me, I spun around so I fell head-first towards my target and got a better look at the two guards. They were probably thirty feet tall, but their posture was sagging and they both leaned on the enormous shields they carried. Their carapaces were far more impressive than the first Queenguard I’d seen, with spikes and patterns adorning them, much like those on the walls. However, their black carapaces were riddled with glowing-blue pockmarks and their shields were completely powered down, while oozing blue goop instead of radiant orange energy.
My Appraising Eyes scanned him as I came within range. Panda immediately started reading it out loud for me.
Level 25
‘#0000000002’
Queenguard x
“My power… Where has it gone, my Queen?”
Job: Queenguard
Affiliation: Child Protective Services
What a sad sight. Queenguards are supposed to be fierce and a true nightmare to any that would seek to harm the Queen’s Hive.
Then you took away the source of their power and it turns out they weren’t really that great to begin with. This is like finding out that Santa is actually just some guy called Bob who has a big belly because his diet consists of Budweiser and pork rinds, and a thick beard because ‘grooming’ isn’t a part of his vocabulary.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m disappointed. I thought for sure this guy was going to kill you. I mean, he’s the second-highest ranked in the entire Hive. But look at him! Weakling can’t even lift his shield!
He wants his steroids back.
image [https://i.imgur.com/YYMeipN.png]
A moment after Panda finished reading it, I hammered my fist into the middle of #2’s body, before immediately flicking my gravity’s direction at the other one and hitting it in the face, then I spun around and settled down on the floor between them.
Two quick pops followed and both of the Queenguards toppled over, one with a massive hole in its torso and the other with its head deleted.
“That was too easy,” I said.
BAD CATCHPHRASE!
You have taken 1 point of damage.
“Ow.”
Then an achievement hit me. I figured I’d get something similar to the Warden Juice from killing them.
Congratulations! You have unlocked an achievement! x
‘Bad Sportsmanship’
Defeated a weakened Queenguard.
Normally, defeating one of the CPS’s Queenguards would be a tremendous feat we’d be forced to award with a seriously-impressive trophy of some kind.
But this doesn’t count. Even the System is backing us up on this one. So you can suck it!
There has been one Player who recently managed to kill a non-weakened Queenguard, which is a first in the GREAT GAME’s history. She received a proper reward for it, but is about to die to the Queen, so it wasn’t worth much in the end I guess.
Reward: Yeah, I don’t think so.
image [https://i.imgur.com/eKlX7c4.png]
I realized that they were referring to Bee and the fact that she’d killed a Queenguard with the Eau de Tonsil-Stone Eye-Bleach.
“Shit, we’ve gotta get in there!” I panicked. “The Queen is about to kill her!”
I put my hands on the massive blast door and started to lift.
The obsidian structure didn’t even budge. It felt like I was trying to pull a building up by its foundations.
With a grunt of frustration, I let go and resorted to the second-best option.
“Brock is great at lockpicking!!” the balloon gauntlet squealed as I began slamming him repeatedly into the enormous door.
For the next three seconds, as I punched the door non-stop, nothing happened whatsoever. But then the delay caught up and the obsidian metal started to bulge inward, one echoing bang at a time.
I kept punching and warping the blast door, pausing only when it stopped deforming from the damage and instead just blew open a hole. The damage from the punches that’d yet to register followed shortly after and the hole grew large enough that I could squeeze through.
“Be careful!” Panda warned as I went through it.
The chamber on the other side of the massive door was gigantic. From floor to ceiling was fifty feet if not more. Thick pillars filled the interior, running down in parallel rows until the far end where something like a massive pool was carved into the floor. Like the pools in the luxury part just outside the chamber, the honey that filled it was corrosive and blue.
Between the entrance I’d made and the pool was an insect hybrid that would tower over even the Metro Train monstrosity. It looked like the cursed offspring of a centipede and an ant doing the nasty. The body was covered in sturdy-looking and glossy carapace, but it was corrupted and completely blue. Legs the size of busses ran along the segments of its serpentine body and six giant pincer-like arms were set into its narrow torso. Its head alone was as big as a Minor Warden and massive compound eyes took up half its size. It had a giant maw full of sharp teeth and there were horn-like protrusions from the top of its head that created what looked like a crown of sorts. Two long antennae grew from behind the crown and four wings hung down its back, though it seemed unlikely that it could actually fly.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
I blinked, unable to comprehend just how massive the creature was. This had to be the Queen of the CPS.
“Gambit! Look!” Panda exclaimed, pointing to one of its giant pincers.
In it hung a tiny wingless moth with broken bones and white blood leaking out of several wounds.
It was Bee.
Without even coming up with a plan, I redirected Fuck Gravity directly at the arm holding my friend and set its pull as high as it could go. The moment I started falling towards the Queen, the G-force of the acceleration made my vision flicker black for a moment.
“BEE!!!” I screamed.
Then my Appraising Eyes brought up the info for the Queen of the CPS.
Level 150
‘#0000000001’
Queen x
“YOU DARE TAKE AWAY MY POWER!?”
Owner of the Child Protective Services Agency
Funny, isn’t it? Despite literally owning the CPS, the Queen doesn’t have a proper name either, just a number. All of the CPS is organized through a power hierarchy, but there has never been any doubt about who is Number 1.
As you’ve no doubt realized by just looking at her, the Queen isn’t an ant, not anymore at least. She also isn’t the ‘mother’ of the ants in her Hive, though she is responsible for creating them. You see, she is quite adept at crafting bodies and cloning them, a carry-over from her own creator.
You might’ve once played around with ants in your backyard when you were a child, pitting them against each other in improvised arenas and trying to find the strongest. Well, it isn’t just humans who enjoy messing around with insects. Absolutes defy the bonds of time and reality, but they also grow bored with their seemingly-endless lifespans, so sometimes they pass time idly by through playing with insects. One such Absolute, who is known to have idle hands and peculiar fascinations, once found a tiny ant and pitted it against others of its kind. It quickly came out on top and, as a reward, he transformed it into a powerful being. The same being that stands before you now.
In case you were wondering, this is the Queen’s weakened form. You might actually have a chance of defeating her in this state, whereas before it would’ve been unthinkable.
She is currently toying with the Beneficiary of an Absolute and hasn’t noticed you yet.
image [https://i.imgur.com/ykZxxYC.png]
As my voice echoed through the space, the Queen turned her attention away from Bee and fixed me with her enormous compound eyes.
“FORCED RETIREMENT,” she said, invoking some manner of spell with a voice so loud it shook the air and hurt my ears.
“Interrupt it!” Panda yelled, but I wasn’t fast enough.
WARNING!
All Skills have been placed on a 40-year cooldown.
“Oh shit!” I gasped as my Fuck Gravity cut out and all my momentum was arrested. Then I fell straight down to the floor far below.
My body bounced once with a loud crunch as my right leg caught my fall and snapped. From how easily it broke, I was fairly sure Silver Skeleton had stopped working.
“Fuck!” I groaned.
“You’ve gotta use ‘throw Exception’!” Panda urged. “It wasn’t affected by her spell!”
“throw Exception( ),” I said, while trying to get up. I still had the Tincture that Tina had given me, but it’d be a waste to use it on just my leg.
‘Forced Retirement’ encountered a RunTimeException!
Debuff failed successfully.
I felt how my bones hardened and got heavier as my skeleton once again became silver. The potential of Fuck Gravity also kicked back in. I immediately pulled myself back into the air, while the Queen started swiping at the pop-ups that my skill had sent her way. Then I set my gravity directly on her head and change the pull to its maximum. I’d pop her head like a pumpkin before she had a chance to respond.
“It seems like your Benefactor knew she had that trick,” Panda remarked.
Before I could get much closer to the Queen, she yelled, “STASIS.”
WARNING!
You have been afflicted with ‘Stasis’!
Time remaining:
∞
My body just froze mid-air, while she returned her attention to Bee, who was apparently unconscious where she hung from her pincer.
“You’ve gotta use ‘wakeUp’!” Panda yelled. “She’s gonna kill Bee!”
I tried, but I couldn’t move. My mind still worked, but my body was stuck solid.
“You have to trigger it with your mind!” he exclaimed, panicked.
I didn’t even have the chance to try and figure out how before the Queen said, in her loud voice, “I HAVE HAD MY FUN. TIME TO CLEAN UP THE INFESTATION IN MY HIVE.”
Then she squeezed her pincers shut around Bee.
I wanted to scream, but my mouth would not move. I just hovered there, a witness to my friend’s murder.
A voice rolled through the Queen’s chamber, while the petals of a purple flower grew from the air surrounding Bee’s body. The flower it formed clasped shut around her like a protective shield and pushed away the enormous pincers.
VILE QUEEN-PRETENDER!
HOW DARE YOU SEEK TO SLAY MY ADORABLE LOST CHILD!
YOUR CROPS WILL ROT IN THEIR FIELDS AND PESTILENCE WILL BEFALL YOUR KIN! YOUR CASTLE WILL CRUMBLE INTO SAND AND A SWARM OF GNATS WILL STRIP THE SKIN FROM YOUR BONES!
AS THE ALL-MOTHER, THIS IS MY PROMISE TO YOU!
Then Bee vanished and an implosion destroyed the Queen’s entire arm in a mist of blue-tainted blood and flesh. The tug of my Manhunter’s Badge immediately vanished.
Congratulations! You have unlocked an achievement! x
‘Divine Intervention’
Witnessed the intervention of an Absolute.
This is against the rules of the GREAT GAME. Obviously. But we also have no power to stop any Absolute that seeks to protect their Beneficiary in this way.
The Player that was just yoinked out of harm’s way should now find themselves within the abode of the Absolute who saved them. Depending on which one it was, this may or may not be preferable to death.
Reward: 100x ‘Game Coins’
image [https://i.imgur.com/XCrNsbO.png]
“CURSE YOU, ALL-MOTHER. I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE ON YOU FOR ROBBING ME OF MY JUSTICE!” the Queen screamed indignantly.
Then she seemed to realize that I was still just stuck in stasis mid-air and lifted an arm towards me, preparing to squeeze me like she had done to Bee. At the same time, the arm she had lost slowly regrew as golden energy rolled through the many segments of her long body and up to her torso. I realized then that her body was like one long cable connecting her to somewhere near the pool at the far end.
“She’s using Full Recovery Tinctures somehow!” Panda exclaimed. “You’ve gotta break free! Use the ability with your mind!”
I concentrated as hard as I could, feeling a migraine blossoming as the pressure inside my brain grew.
SKILL TRIGGER!
wakeUp triggered.
You have broken free of ‘Stasis’.
The pincer missed me by just a few inches as my momentum returned and carried me towards the Queen’s head.
“Cooldown Claymore!” I shouted. Crackling orange energy, much like what the Minor Wardens used, appeared in my right hand. It was the same shape as the original Crimson Claymore, but I could feel that it was somehow more potent now.
“SHIELD,” the Queen said, and the air around her head shimmered as it activated and created a barely-visible magical barrier.
I swung the sword through the air and felt only a weak bit of resistance as it tore through the magical shield. My entire body spun with the movement, and I came close enough to strike her head. A loud sizzle came from the Queen’s left compound eye as my glowing blade carved a channel through it. It seemed the sword cut through immediately, without waiting for my damage delay.
Lifting the blade, I swung it down again, and—
“REFLECT.”
The Queen’s body shimmered again, right as I drove the claymore into her jaw. It moved through her unimpeded and the damage was immediately reflected into my own body.
Panda yelled something as my body separated into two from my right shoulder to my left hip. I lost control of Fuck Gravity and immediately plummeted towards the ground in two pieces. Moments later the Queen activated another spell, and I was hit by solid air. My body flew back towards the large blast door, leaving behind the lower half.
My shiny silver ribcage was exposed where it’d been cut through cleanly. The reflected attack had missed my heart by the width of two fingers, but death would come within seconds if I didn’t act fast.
“Drink the Tincture!” Panda exclaimed as my blood freely trailed from my severed torso, tainted suspiciously-purple.
I somehow managed to stay conscious enough to use the Full Recovery Tincture through my inventory.
Warmth spread through my torso and immediately started reassembling the right shoulder and arm from scratch, along with my torso and everything below. It still felt like I was dying though, and the pain was immense. My Unicorn Suit was also knitting itself back to full, but it was slow going. Fortunately, my Swan-Feather Cape was unscathed.
I blinked and darkness overtook me for a second, but Panda’s yelling snapped me back.
With a single burst of concentration, I was able to momentarily activate Fuck Gravity to slow down my fall.
Then I hit the ground and started to tumble. Fortunately, the healing was still ongoing, so the damage I took from the rough landing was immediately cured.
When I finally came to a rest, a loud woosh echoed through the chamber before lamppost-sized bone spikes rained down around me, embedding themselves halfway into the floor.
Even though my legs weren’t fully formed, I triggered SPRING_HEEL to launch myself to safety behind one of the nearby pillars. It was quickly pierced through with several more spikes.
“This is meant to be her weakened state!?” I exclaimed incredulously.
My feet return as the Full Recovery wrapped up.
“You’ve gotta hit her with everything you’ve got!” Panda told me.
“What about Bee!? What the fuck happened to her!?”
“Don’t worry about that right now! Focus on what’s in front of you!”
I knew he was right, but I had the sinking feeling that it’d be impossible to get Bee back from the clutches of the All-Mother. A part of me also wondered if it was worth it. Perhaps the Absolute wasn’t one of the bad ones, I wondered.
A spike tore right through the pillar in front of me and flew by my face close enough to ruffle my hair.
I concentrated and activated Fuck Gravity again, lifting off the ground to fly around the side of the Queen while using the pillars as cover from her magic.
“I don’t think she has any of her incapacitating or cooldown-based spells left,” Panda said. “She might have something capable of interrupting though.”
A rudimentary plan formed in my head, and I started punching the pillars I flew by, cratering some of them and breaking others. As the broken pillars pulled free of the ceiling and toppled to the floor of the massive chamber, they lifted up dust and debris, creating an obscuring cloud. One of the pillars hit another one and started a domino-chain that ended with five pillars collapsing in a row.
The Queen, although possessing immensely-powerful magic, didn’t seem to have amazing perception and was firing at random with bone spikes and condensed air blasts. Her spells did almost as much damage to the room as I’d already done.
Using the distraction, I fully inflated Brock using the valve. Then I flew up behind her and landed on the ground, running forward with a punch aimed at the bottom of where the torso and centipede-like parts of her body came together.
“Punch.spinTh—!”
“MUTE.”
Warning!
Your ability has been muted!
Time remaining:
59,900,513 μs
I grinned and clenched my fist to trigger the Sea Urchin Ring, which covered my arm in a spiky black shell. On my way here I’d stored up twenty-seven punches. It would be enough. I activated SPRING_HEEL and leapt upwards, swinging my arm at an angle that pointed right towards her head.
“Pow!”
ACTIVATING SCRIPT: Math.pow(Punch)!
Number of Punches recorded in fight: 27
Calculating 27 to the power of Punch
…
…
Calculations complete!
The spikes from the ring fired off, but nothing else happened besides that. I was already flying backwards to escape what was about to happen as a result of my insane multiplication of damage values.
The Queen was slowly turning to track me, while firing off spells. It seemed she had no idea what was coming.
Finally, the ‘Damage.sleep(3000)’ passive caught up.
A gust of warm wind rushed past me, lifting me along with it and cancelling out my Fuck Gravity passive through sheer intensity.
I looked back over my shoulder and saw a bright light and what looked like a beam of solar energy flying from the floor and up through the ceiling of the chamber. It created a massive hole in the top of the Hive Ship itself and showed that we were somewhere in outer space, as there was a backdrop of the Earth, which my beam had just taken a bite out of. As far as I could tell, I’d just deleted parts of the southern Pacific Ocean.
I caught myself on one of the pillars in the room, as the insane damage from my Pow Punch died down. The Queen’s entire top-half was gone, though her long centipede body remained behind.
“Holy fuck, you just did like 50 trillion points of damage,” Panda said.
Congratulations! You have unlocked an achievement! x
‘PETA Hates You’
Killed over a thousand aquatic animals.
We’re not quite sure how you just did that, but your attack managed to kill over a thousand aquatic animals. Just because humans are facing an extinction-level event, it doesn’t mean that you should take your frustrations out on the creatures in the ocean.
Reward: ‘Whale Bacon’
image [https://i.imgur.com/OBPB5zv.png]
A flappy bit of red-and-white meat landed on my head, before being sucked into my inventory.
“It wasn’t enough,” I said with a frown, while sliding down the pillar to the ground.
The Queen’s body was regenerating quickly as golden energy pulsed up along her centipede body.
“Maybe she really is immortal,” Panda muttered.
I knew I didn’t have a choice but to win, so I decided to activate ‘Time Save’.
TIME SAVE TRIGGERED!
All cooldowns have been reset.
Since I’d almost died once, I activated a failsafe as well, while running towards the rapidly-regrowing Hive Queen.
“Rules of Anarchy(Respawn Once).”
Rules of Anarchy Activated!
Passive Selected: Respawn Once
Description:
Upon death, respawn at the beginning
1 Use
“Once more, from the top,” Panda joked.
I gritted my teeth and started punching the air as I ran.