“What are we gonna do about James?” Steve asked, as I tried to think of the best place to use the flare. I wasn’t too familiar with Madeville, since it wasn’t a place worth visiting, so I was struggling to come up with a good place with lots of space to fight Aphid-Dogs and Minor Wardens.
“I hadn’t really thought about that,” I replied.
“You definitely can’t bring him with you!” Panda insisted.
“There is a Safe Zone in Madeville’s town hall,” Tina said. “We can take him there.”
“Was that the one made by Matthew Twine?” Panda asked.
“Yes, his girlfriend is the owner.”
“That means Gambit’s not invited,” the plushie realized.
“Don’t worry, if we can find a human corpse, I have a way they won’t notice me.”
“If we go to the Safe Zone I can finally get some Sanity Pills!” Steve exclaimed excitedly. “Wait… Why do you need a corpse?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
Tina suddenly squeezed the pillow in her hand, then smacked it into my face. A second later, her fluffy weapon evaporated into butterflies. James’ eyes widened and then he started laughing.
“What’d you do that for!?” I asked her.
“The pillow told me to,” she said.
I inspected the reward from the Dungeon and realized what she meant.
‘Dreamer’s Pillow’ x
To unlock the power within this item, you have to do the only thing you’re meant to do with a pillow.
We promise that this is not a fetish thing!
Weight: 1 Panda
image [https://i.imgur.com/l0sdLUX.png]
Without any hesitation, I smacked Steve in the face with my pillow and it exploded into a cloud of feathers that quickly vanished. James laughed loudly while Steve cursed up a self-censored storm of expletives like fudge, mother-father, dagnabbit, heck, and frick.
Choose your reward! x
Look. Clean, fun, and amusing. Nothing even remotely sexual about—
Aaaand we just sold the footage for more money than all our previous fetish clips combined…
Turns out that Sloth Demons really like pillow-related stuff and these guys are freaking stacked, willingly forking out a lot of moolah for this clip!
Pick one of the options:
‘wakeUp’ | ‘Night-Night’ | ‘Is this real life?’
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‘wakeUp’ x
Ability
It was all just a dream.
Break free of any metaphysical shackles that bind you.
Cooldown: 5 minutes
‘Night-Night’ x
Ability
Weaponized NyQuil. Bet you never heard that phrase before!
Ehh… I’m being informed that you people have been overdosing on that stuff for decades… Some people even used it in cooking!? What is wrong with you? And what the hell is NyQuil Chicken??
You know, the whole “maybe we’re the bad guys for turning your species’ extinction into a gameshow” argument has finally met its match. It’s like you humans were already trying to make yourselves go extinct…
Target a humanoid and force them to sleep. If their Wisdom is higher than your Intelligence, the spell rebounds. If the target is caffeinated, the spell will fail.
Any damage to the target will wake them up.
Duration: 10 minutes
Cooldown: 15 minutes
‘Is this real life?’ x
Ability
Sometimes you just can’t tell.
Summon a spinning top that will spin indefinitely if you aren’t in reality.
To be honest, we don’t know how this is useful. Like, let’s say you use it and realize you aren’t in reality. What now?
image [https://i.imgur.com/Je5cpou.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/J1eanYM.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/t4gDYEg.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/Dw1rO3y.png]
Without needing to consider it a lot, I picked ‘wakeUp’, since it had the most potential out of them all. As soon as my choice was locked in, Steve took his own pillow and swung it for my head, but I dodgerolled through him and he whiffed. As I emerged behind him, he looked torn between whether trying to hit me again or going for Tina.
“I will gut you,” she warned him.
Steve spun around and swung for me again, but I hopped out of the way. As he chased after me with the pillow, yelling at me to stop, James continued to laugh loudly.
Perhaps thanks to the infectiousness of child laughter or maybe due to our ridiculous display, the people who’d been ejected from the dungeon all seemed to light up a little. Within a minute, a full on pillow brawl was underway, while everybody laughed and shouted loudly.
I was standing atop the longboard, as we went towards the Madeville town hall. Tina was riding her neon-green serpent with James seated in front of her. The boy seemed to have opened up more, although it was clear he had lost his memories, but maybe that was for the best.
Steve was using the ability he’d gotten from smacking some random woman with his pillow, after giving up on hitting me. It was a floating couch-sized pillow wrapped in what looked like a 90’s arcade carpet, with the associated stink of old pizza, floor varnish, and cigarette ash. Printed on top it said ‘Happy Birthday, Steve!’.
The other people from the challenge dungeon were following behind us. Despite the Birthday Brat inviting some of the women onto his new ride, not a single one of them took him up on the offer.
There were very few enemies on the road to the town hall and Tina said it was because the Players here were diligent in defeating the various dungeons before they started releasing monsters. Apparently, the satyr William Twine and his raincoat-angel brother, as well as Logan and Ophelia Maximillian, had created a robust group of people that taught the weak how to fight back and earn levels.
“Just think,” Panda mused. “If you hadn’t screwed everything up, Castleburg could be like this as well.”
“There’s no way that would’ve happened,” I told him, as I rolled closer to the green serpent. “Hey Tina, is the Humanbus in this area still alive?”
“The Satyr is hunting it,” she replied cheerfully.
I frowned. I wanted to capture it and use my Safe Zone Sphere to make it into a mobile base, but right now Bee was more important. As soon as we got to the town hall, we’d find somewhere to drop off James, buy the supplies we needed, and then head out to summon the hive ship with the flare.
“We’re here,” Tina said, when we rounded the end of a street and were met with a large red brick building. Above the door it helpfully stated ‘Town Hall’.
There was just one issue. The Twine brothers hated me for killing Ophelia and Logan, so I was 100% a persona non grata in the Safe Zone.
“Time to go corpse hunting,” I said. “I need a disguise.”