“You know her?” Steve asked.
“Well shit,” Panda muttered.
I looked at my old friend from Calm Springs. She’d changed a lot since then. Her pale skin had turned grey like ash and there was a radioactive-green glow to her eyes. Her black hair was shaved away to reveal a smooth bald head and neon-green tattoos swam around on her exposed skin. She was wearing a short-sleeved leather trench coat, shorts that stopped mid-thigh, a leather corset, and high heels. Her entire outfit was black.
Unlike the time I’d seen her on a monitor during the first Event, there were no gnarled limbs sprouting from her back.
I pulled out my Looking Glass and appraised her through its damaged lens.
Level 19
‘Tina & Nina’
Player x
“The lost child is found in the temple.”
Class: Persistent Venomancer
Main Attribute(s): Wisdom & Intelligence
WARNING!
This Player is suspected of being a System Hacker! Please report them to the nearest REPD Agent!
ERROR!
Cannot retrieve background information.
She knew you would be here.
This Player has the following Unique/Rare:
—Skills—
‘Magic 8 Ball’
—Items—
2x ‘Lucky Dice’
image [https://i.imgur.com/69u2SIf.png]
“So that’s what ‘Appears on Appraisal’ means,” I muttered.
Steve had pulled out a Looking Glass of his own and seemed worried. “Why does it say you’re a System Hacker?”
“Nina said you would be here!” Tina informed us cheerfully, ignoring Steve’s question.
“Do you know a way for me to rescue my friend?”
“Nina does!” she confirmed, before slipping into a different persona.
Neon-green hair appeared on her bald head and the glow in her eyes intensified. Her posture and aura changed completely, becoming someone way scarier.
Green energy sprouted from her long black nails and danced around her hands like a living serpent.
“The lost child is found in the temple, when the crestfallen hero gets his revenge!”
“Bee is? What temple is it?”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“Maybe she’s not referring to Bee?” Panda guessed. “What if there’s another Wayward Minor somewhere?”
I realized what he was hinting at. “If there is a different child and we find them, maybe we can get another beacon and use that to board the Hive Ship! No idea what temple she’s referring to though.”
“The World-Eater knows the passage!”
“The World-Eater?” Steve wondered, confused.
“I think she’s talking about the Metro Train,” I said.
“You’re unnervingly-good at guessing her bizarre words,” Panda muttered.
Nina blinked rapidly a few times, before the green-energy serpent disappeared from her hands and her neon hair vanished. Her posture changed again.
“Was that helpful?” Tina asked, a pleasant smile on her face.
“Uh, yeah…” Panda replied, then turned to whisper in my ear, “Don’t tell me we’re bringing her along.”
“Do you want to come with us to rescue Bee?” I asked Tina.
“Sure!”
“Gambit, are we sure that’s a good idea?” Steve asked, echoing Panda’s concerns. “She seems like trouble.”
“Shut up, Steve.”
“We can all be friends!” Tina said cheerfully.
“You don’t wanna be her ‘friend’, trust me,” Panda told Steve.
Tina looked at Panda with the same unerring smile. “If you keep mouthing off about me, I will tear your head off, Pandamonium.”
I wasn’t sure how it was possible, but Panda paled slightly at her words.
“I’m not entirely sure she can’t hurt me somehow,” he whispered in my ear, worried.
“Probably best to stay on her good side,” I agreed.
The neon-green hair flared to life on her bald head, as Nina returned.
“Baptize the Bus and manifest our Chariot.”
“Sure,” I replied and pulled out the Humanbus Brain. I set the pumpkin-sized ball of flesh on the ground, while thinking about a name to give it.
Tina returned, then locked eyes with Lordie atop my head.
“Can I pet that dog? Please?” she asked.
“Meow!”
“I’m not sacrificing you,” I told him, as I peeled his fingers free from my head and handed him to her.
Tina immediately began stroking Lordie atop his body and within seconds he was purring up a storm.
“I can’t tell if everything is weird because of the voices or because of you,” Steve said, glancing at me.
“Best get used to it,” Panda told him.
“That’s not very reassuring when coming from a plushie I didn’t know existed until now.”
“I’ll name it ‘Nicholas’,” I decided, then lifted up the brain and kissed it on its forehead.
Choose your reward! x
Congratulations, you’re now the father to a beautiful baby boy!
Pick one of the options:
‘hole.Worm( )’ | ‘Golfer Dad’ | ‘Horse Girl’
‘hole.Worm( )’ x
Ability
Unfortunately literally.
Summon a Worm that swallows you and up to three other people, then digs its way underground to a marked destination within 1 mile.
Travel duration is always 1 minute regardless of distance.
Cooldown: 15 minutes
‘Golfer Dad’ x
Ability
Go on, neglect your family for a recreational sport that really only exists as an excuse to get wasted with the other washed-up dads in your neighborhood.
Summon a semi-sentient Golf Cart that exists to drive recklessly. The speed of the Cart increases in relation to how inebriated you are, up to a total of 200%, and every Enemy or Player you hit adds another minute to its duration.
Cooldown: 30 minutes
Duration: 10 minutes
‘Horse Girl’ x
Ability
Become a sin against God and embrace the #horselyfe. Disregard your own personal hygiene and adopt a 100% hay-based personal body odor.
Summon a sentient and beautiful steed named ‘Nicholas’, who only understands Spanish and curses like a construction worker. The steed goes faster after being fed Tacos, although he is allergic to cilantro and will die permanently if you feed it to him. His back can stretch to seat up to five people.
Cooldown: 30 minutes
Duration: 20 minutes
image [https://i.imgur.com/z9TNZy9.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/buVUonh.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/swaz2hx.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/G0e5JcN.png]
“Hmm, this is a tough one,” I muttered, sharing the options with Tina and Steve.
“What the fudge?” Steve muttered.
“I want to ride a steed!” Tina exclaimed.
“Think Wormhole is your best bet,” Panda said.
Steve shook his head. “I think the Golf Cart might be the safest one. The other two sound awful.”
“Wormhole it is then!” I immediately decided.