As I chased after the tug of the Manhunter’s Badge I ran through several chambers that’d housed Children’s Zones. They were now full of empty bulbs and demoralized Minor Wardens knelt within. They didn’t even try to stop me when I ran past them.
They couldn’t stop me. Their energy was gone.
When I realized this, I killed every single one I came across before they could get back up. Although none of them rewarded me anything. Not even an achievement.
The tug from the Badge was moving around a lot, as though Bee was somewhere close by and flitting back-and-forth through the air in one of the rooms.
I flew into another tall chamber with Fuck Gravity. Just like the last six I’d already gone through, a Warden knelt in the center of all the empty bulbs. Unlike those previous six however, this Warden was turning blue. It was as though its body was decaying due to a lack of the orange energy.
I pulled back my fist and punched the Warden in the head as I flew past.
“They lost all their power,” Panda commented as my damage delay caught up. Its head popped off and landed in one of the empty bulbs. “The implications are quite clear.”
“And what are they?” I asked.
Steve flew after me atop his Birthday Pillow, while his horde of enchanted ants marched along behind him. I noticed how the glowing-orange fluid that’d once filled their gasters was now gone. They all looked quite pathetic, though none of them had stopped moving or turned blue.
I felt on the cusp of some realization when Panda put it into words.
“The ants of the Child Protective Services were using the energy of children to gain their power. I’m not entirely sure, but I think they were literally harvesting their happiness.”
“So you’re saying I was decapitated and killed by energy created from happy children?”
“Exactly,” he replied.
“That’s crazy.”
“Is it? I feel like it makes a lot of sense actually.”
“What about the Aphid-Dogs?” I asked.
“I don’t think those were relying on it as much, they’re just freaks of nature. The Wardens and Queenguards were clearly utilizing it a lot though.”
I paused mid-air and cast a glance back at the headless body of the Warden which slumped on the floor.
“Them turning blue is a good thing, right?”
“Definitely.”
“Should make the Queen easy enough to kill then,” I guessed.
“We should try to find Tina before we take her on,” Panda advised.
I blinked. “Shit, I forgot about her!”
At this point my control over my own gravity had grown proficient enough that I easily spun around and floated back towards Steve.
“Oy, Birthday Boy!” I called as we met in the air above the dead Warden’s body.
His enslaved ant soldiers started stabbing the headless corpse with their spears.
“You finally slowed down! I’ve been yelling at you to stop for like ten minutes…”
“Do you know where Tina is?” I asked, ignoring his complaint.
“That’s what I’ve been saying! I don’t know where the hell you’re going, but she’s not in this direction.”
“I’ve been chasing down Bee,” I said.
“Well she’s probably not that way either,” he told me. “There’s a dead-end outside this chamber.”
“What!?” I exclaimed. “Is there something further beyond that dead-end?”
“Sure, there is some kind of massive open plaza, but we can’t get to it that way. We have to go around. The layout here is really convoluted and weird.”
“Hold up,” Panda said. “How do you know all this?”
“I’ve got a map ability,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes. “Since when?”
“Since the beginning?” he replied, confused. “Have you not been listening to me!?”
“No, not at all,” I told him honestly.
He sighed loudly.
“Follow me,” he then said and went back the way we’d come, before turning left down a long hallway. “We’ve got to hurry though, I don’t have any more Sanity Pills left and my gauge just keeps going up. I don’t want to go insane.”
“I think that’s too late,” Panda remarked.
I glanced at the plushie standing atop my stomach as I flew horizontally through the air. “He isn’t going insane because of my Immorality’s Curse, right?” I whispered.
“No, no, that just makes him morally evil.”
“Phew,” I said in relief. “I’d feel bad if it was my fault.”
“Oh, it’s definitely your fault! It’s just not because of that passive.”
I frowned.
“Steve, how much are you at?”
“97%…” he replied.
“Shit,” I muttered.
“Can you see other people or enemies on your map?” Panda asked.
“No,” Steve answered. “Although Tina said I might be able to fuse it with some other skill to make it do that. She said I needed a Golden Fusion Urchin though.”
“She knows about fusions??” I asked excitedly. She was low-key psychic about the future, so it kind of made sense. The realization made me feel profoundly stupid all of a sudden. I should’ve relied on her earlier.
We flew above exhausted-looking ants as Steve led us down a zigzagging and unintuitive journey through the Hive Ship. It seemed that while the CPS grunts weren’t turning blue from the lack of happiness juice, they were still affected by the sudden loss of it. No doubt it was because they’d all been carrying it around in their gasters and at least partially relied on it for strength.
Suddenly my stomach gurgled loudly and cold sweat ran down my forehead. I had a sudden flashback to the tooltip of the Warden Juice.
“You okay, Gambit?” Panda asked.
“Uhh, yeah. I think it’s DOD.”
“What’s that?” he asked.
“Delayed-onset diar—”
“There she is!” Steve exclaimed loudly, interrupting me.
At the end of the hallway we’d been following was a large wall with a sturdy blast door preventing anyone from going further. Tina was sitting with her back to the wall and bleeding profusely. Next to her lay a dead Glitch Hunter with a body full of holes leaking green venom. Slightly further away was a catatonic Minor Warden that’d turned completely blue.
We landed right in front of her, but before I could ask if she was okay, she downed one of the Tinctures of Full Recovery she’d bought in Castle Twine. It wasn’t until the restoration kicked in that I realized her right leg had been torn off at the hip and she’d lost several fingers.
Within seconds, her body was good as new.
She let out a small sigh, then looked me in the eyes and said, “Thank you for freeing my children.”
“I know where they went,” I told her.
“The new moon, right? Nina already told me.”
“Seriously, how does she know all this?” Panda wondered.
“What moon?” Steve asked, clearly out of the loop.
Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.
Tina shook her head, before changing topic. “Nina wanted to tell you something important.”
Neon-green hair sprouted to life atop her head and her personality changed to her alter ego. The more I learnt about the strange Gods that the insects and other denizens of the Great Game worshipped, the more I suspected that Nina’s power and personality derived from one of them.
“Forsake this familial sphere and seize victory anew with the aid of the Planewalker’s Spawn!”
“Seek your loyal Knights in the time before the Children of Stars and the Insects of Show Business lay claim to this world!”
“Unlock the truth within and soon the chains will drop!”
As soon as she passed on her message, Nina vanished and Tina returned.
I frowned. These clues were much harder to discern than the usual ones.
“I’ve got no idea what any of that means,” Panda said.
Steve shook his head. “Me neither.”
To be fair, I hadn’t expected either of them to get it.
“Tina, I’ve got a Golden Fusion Urchin, what should I use it on?”
“Show me your Status screen,” she said.
“Status,” I said, realizing I hadn’t checked it in a while. Then again, I also hadn’t leveled up in over a day, so there hadn’t been much need for me to look at it.
Level -20
‘Gambit’
Game.changer( ) x
---The kind of red that really makes you want to hug your nightmares---
STATS
Health: Isn’t It Great?
Stamina: いいな
Armor: Dinner Plate Armor
Carry Weight: 1050 Pandas
Top Speed: Racing Bike
Mana: Keyhole
ATTRIBUTES
Strength: 2415 lbs.
Dexterity: Death Adder
Intelligence: Strange Key
Vitality: Brisket
Athleticism: 獺
Perception: 1768
Wisdom: (╯˘-˘)╯
Defense: Ceramic
ABILITIES
CORE
PASSIVES
‘I_CAN_FLY’
‘Dungeon-Break’
‘.interrupt( )’
‘Skater Boy’
‘There’s No Escape’
‘Giant-Slayer Soul Blade’
‘[Injection]’
‘Punch.spinTheWheel( )’
‘Time Save’
‘Rootkit’
‘.unicorn’
‘Math.pow(Punch)’
‘Crimson Claymore’
‘Zap’
‘hole.Worm( )’
‘wakeUp’
‘throw Exception( )’
‘unHaunt’
‘unHero’
‘unVirtuous’
‘Glitch’
‘Insanity’
‘Inanimate Voices’
‘BIRTHDAY_SUIT’
‘Reflective Shell’
‘I-Frames’
‘Transition Lenses’
‘Silver Skeleton’
‘Rules of Anarchy’
‘SPRING_HEEL’
‘[Night Protocol]’
‘Damage.sleep(3000)’
ULTIMATE
‘Game.newRule( )’
image [https://i.imgur.com/p3skJAN.png]
Panda tapped me on the side of the head. “Gambit! Look at your Mana and Intelligence!”
“What is that?” I wondered, squinting at it.
“It’s a key and a keyhole! Remember that achievement from when you hit 200% Insanity?”
“No,” I replied.
“Nina says you don’t have the means to use them yet,” Tina told me.
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter right now. Tina, tell me which skills I should fuse together.”
She looked through my long list of abilities and passives, but it didn’t take her very long to come to a decision.
“Crimson Claymore and Zap,” she told me.
‘Crimson Claymore’ x
Ability
A Red Pawn uses condensed hatred and envy to construct its deadly weapon. It is a simple but undeniable power that it wields.
Manifest a claymore made of crimson energy that can cut through anything.
Duration: 1 minute
Cooldown: 1 hour
‘Zap’ x
Ability
Sometimes it’s a little tingle and other times it’ll strip the skin off your body.
All your Abilities not currently on cooldown are put on cooldown for 10 minutes.
Zap a target for damage equal to (Number of Passives) to the power of (Abilities placed on Cooldown).
image [https://i.imgur.com/QM9gNt9.png]
image [https://i.imgur.com/dAbsads.png]
I hadn’t even used Zap once, originally picking it just for the purpose of fusing it later.
“It has to be in that order,” she insisted.
“What, the Claymore first? I didn’t think it mattered since they’re being combined.”
“It matters,” she said seriously.
“Alright.”
I pulled out the Golden Fusion Urchin.
‘Golden Fusion Urchin’ x
Bought from the Wandering Smith known as Shellby for an exorbitant fee.
Consume to form a Golden Fusion between two skills currently in your possession. The resultant fusion skill will become Legendary, giving it the highest potential possible.
Alternatively, this can be fed to a familiar to increase its Maturity by 50%
Weight: 1 Panda
image [https://i.imgur.com/NgSkQa2.png]
Steve’s eyes marveled as he saw it, but I quickly tossed it in my mouth and chewed down. Just like the first time I’d consumed one, it was a delectable treat that had a complex flavor reminding me of the sea. I was able to actually savor it despite Brock’s curse fucking up my tastebuds. It was a good thing Lordie was staying in his cage, since he’d gone crazy last time he’d seen one of these.
ACTIVATING GOLDEN SKILL FUSION!
Choose two Abilities or Passives to combine:
“Combine ‘Crimson Claymore’ with ‘Zap’,” I announced.
COMBINING SKILLS!
Please wait a moment, while we combine the skills and roll for the most favorable traits based on the two components!
…
…
…
Uh. One moment.
…
…
…
New Legendary fusion skill created!
Congratulations!
You have unlocked the new Ability:
‘Cooldown Claymore’
‘Cooldown Claymore’ x
Golden Fusion Ability
This seems pretty overpowered to be honest and that’s despite us preventing a combination of these two skills that would’ve been truly broken.
Manifest a claymore of crackling golden-orange energy that can cut through anything. Every kill made with the weapon lowers the active cooldowns of all your eligible skills by 10%.
Ineligible skills:
-Cooldown Claymore-
-Game.newRule( )-
-Rules of Anarchy-
-Time Save-
-throw Exception( )-
Duration: 30 seconds
Cooldown: 1 hour
This ability appears on your Appraisal!
image [https://i.imgur.com/5E40vAG.png]
“Tina, you’re a genius!” I exclaimed when I saw the result.
“That’s pretty strong,” Panda said.
She nodded. Then she pulled out a lumpy tube-shaped organ that seemed eerily familiar and gestured towards me.
“What?” I asked her.
“I need your blood for this.”
After a second of confusion, I realized it was the ‘Glitch Hunter’s Heart’. She had no doubt received it from somehow managing to kill the beetle that lay nearby.
I pulled out the one I’d gotten myself. “Trade?”
Instead of replying, she turned to look at Steve.
I followed her gaze.
We both grinned as the Birthday Brat slowly backed away.