Woke up to a sensation of being in a car again. Engine was on, scenery was changing, seat leathery and I wasn’t cold. Did I fall asleep on the job? Unusual. There were few clients who even wanted to look at me after the deal was concluded, much less allow a sleep over. And I wasn’t one to relax around strangers like that either. There was a nice older guy who’d paid me just to have someone else in the bed at night, but I did not slumber then either. Wonder what befell the man? Haven’t seen him in what felt ages… and then I remembered why.
My hands clutched something that could have been a rich man’s idea of a decorative blanket for how terrible it was, but shoulders felt chilled so I pulled on it until was sat in a bundle. My open eyes weren’t seeing anything, even though sun was out and blasting in full force.
Being dead sucked. And I was expecting more darkness.
I licked dry lips and first time in ages tongue didn’t snag onto all the empty spaces. Weird.
Little by little I started poking all other hurts I thought I suffered. I could breathe. The cheek didn’t have orifice. Eye - no longer swollen. Arms were no longer charred stumps… but still tied together. Afterlife truly sucked.
Why the fuck was I still with consciousness, able to think these thoughts? I just wanted peace. I wanted not to consider existence without them anymore. Cherry was there from the start, the puny ginger who shared a pitiful-looking sandwich with two boys who’d been about to rob her. Lime was a reckless daredevil who’d join me on stupid escapades Ruby never wanted a part of. And Ruby… God.
I buried face in my palms and tried to scrub away things I was seeing. It didn’t work, never did. The nails sunk in and I dragged them down. Sensation made me shudder. Not from the pain, but sheer recollection of having scratched at warm meat very recently.
So I wasn’t dead. And that sucked even more.
Now I wanted to scream, wail, punch walls. Powerlessness kept me still. Crying never solved anything anyway. Nobody cared. Not anymore.
I guess I needed to bide my time – as I always have - until opportunity presents itself, which it usually did. Perhaps another monster will eat this one, or me. I had to make sure to get absolutely decimated in that case, because apparently this lumbering thing wasn’t lying and could in fact put dead and dying flesh back together. Nothing hurt at all. Not even the aches I carried from early childhood.
Its motivation was laughably clear. Just like the pompous bastards at the villa, he had the power and exerted it. Saw what he liked and took it without asking. Seems like dynamics of power wasn’t just a human inclination but rather a universal truth. How… eye-opening. It explained how the creature found common ground with those people. They were all the same.
Hey, perhaps it’ll drop me dead just in the middle of the road one fine day like that girl? Hell, maybe today was even the day. But who was I kidding? I was never that lucky.
Stared into the blackness of low hanging hoodie. I needed to locate the boundaries. Establish some trust I could take advantage of.
“Unhook my arms,” I demanded flatly, raising them in front of me. This time it carried me with one arm only, the show-off. The other one remained fixed at creature’s side, not assisting with the quick gait in the slightest. Did the demon not figure out how to walk efficiently yet?
“Why bother? Just stick both of them in,” a growling boomed.
“That ship has sailed. No longer interested,” I replied frowning, having not a slightest doubt the creature would shear them off clean this time. Seemed fairly serious about that before already.
Whether I was believed or not, the other very human arm went up and unclasped the hooks one by one. I kept raising my arms higher so the devil could reach further and they came very close to the coiling majestic crown. Just as the last clip released I took hold of a horn firmly.
The demon stumbled. Huh, interesting.
Ran the fingers through the tender bone, which was… much more jagged than it even appeared. Grooves within furrows. I was baffled to find it soft to the touch. I gripped firmer, pulled on the faux bone and creature veered to the side. Growl threatened, but that seemed like future me’s problem. I yanked to the other side and creature stumbled again as though ground stopped being firm. Very interesting.
The free arm of the inhuman monster gripped both of my forearms and pressed lightly. An almost inaudible crack. All four bones shattered like a crispy desert, spilling strawberry jam. My grip was non-existent anymore. Fingers twitched whichever way the deformed muscles contracted them due to all the misfiring nerves. My silent whimper became a scream. God damn you, dildo of consequences…
“My, what big ears you have,” I gasped out through the physical agony, visual revulsion and the mental horror.
Growl ticked louder, as though with irritation. I grimaced. Oh boohoo, poor him.
The monster’s iron clutch relaxed and my flesh followed his. Something moved within and new waves of pain surged as though there were several blades inside, all twisting. It all regained shape momentarily and monster’s human hand slid downwards to its position of useless hanging at the side.
I could suddenly place that disgusting crawling sensation wherever I was touched in passing. Writhing, like that awful carpet… which I suppose was only obvious.
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I shoved at the massive chest and struggled. The arm which held me up didn’t budge. I grumbled and leaned away, using my weight to wriggle out of the grip. Dangling ridiculously I demanded freedom.
“I can walk myself!” I argued.
Otherworldly creature dropped me like a sack of trash and stepped over without slowing.
Ow. Ugh. Ow. I turned over on the stomach and groaned my displeasure for everybody to hear. Nobody cared, as usual. The demon walked on without me. Huh?
Oh. I guess I was free to go and off myself in peace. I smirked humourlessly – as though it would be that simple. Limited roaming range? And it was prime time to test the assumption. Jumped up and took two entire steps the other way. Noise disproportionate to the receding figure thundered down the valley and raised hair on my back, “Did I affix your legs backwards?”
I smiled but there was no enjoyment behind the expression.
Would my knees crack, bend themselves the other way and march me back if I didn’t stop? It was probably best to spread out all the blatant disobedience throughout the day. I feel it would be difficult to come back from being turned into a flesh marionette. And then I wouldn’t have the ability to plunge my face into a ravenous maw.
I was dragging my feet but somehow ended up catching up anyway.
“I’m tired,” I complained after what must have been hours. My bare feet were cut up and I wanted to drink. And sleep. And never wake up.
“You are not,” low tones rolled off the monster.
I glared and argued, “Yes, I am.”
“No,” creature ticked silently and I opened my mouth to be mean when more low reverberations came, “I repaired you again.”
Mouth remained open. Indignation and confusion were bursting out of me but I just couldn’t find right words. An appropriate what seemed to be covered. It was just as the monster had said – upon introspection, I no longer felt physical exhaustion. Was refreshed, actually. Wide awake. My legs weren’t hurting.
Outstanding - I was participating in a forced, ceaseless march and hadn’t even realised it. I suppose monster didn’t mind carrying me, but I had to go and make things worse for myself. I mean, nothing new there.
“I’m tired of walking,” my gaping maw eventually spat out and I turned towards a scenic looking smattering of young trees and fell flat under one. Leaves rustled in the wind and sun played on my closed lids. But all I heard were chains rattling and saw blade flashing near my eyes. My hands gripped the face, trying to protect myself from imaginary weapons. The grooves I carved out previously were mysteriously gone along with all my other minor ailments. For shame.
I curled into the blanket that I still carried over my shoulders. Jerked, shuddering again before I even understood why. Then threw it off me whilst containing a scream within me for the thing moved. Why can’t nothing be normal?
“You seem to have misplaced part of your… something,” I forced out politely, looking for a way to laugh this off instead of screeching like a complete madman. Which I wanted to do very badly. I wanted to force alien creature to explain why there was living flap of skin on top of me, and where did he get off walking around draped in the same thing too. What the fuck was up with that writhing carpet?! Why did it undulate so repulsively and…
“You ripped it off me yourself,” creature informed me calmly and cut off the torrent of my thoughts as though with a knife.
“Oh… Pardon me,” I stammered out. Horned (big eared?) monster stood still like a statue where I’d left it.
“No worries. My body parts are your body parts.”
Charming. I couldn’t tell whether this was a fact or a weak attempt at a joke. It had makings of one. And he did give me brand new teeth. Or were they gently used? Who’s to say? Him. But I certainly wasn’t going to ask and find out.
“Hey, I’m not thirsty anymore. Did you do something about that too?”
“Yes.”
“So is it like… I’m just not feeling thirsty anymore, or did you somehow make me drink?”
“I infused your bloodstream,” monster explained.
“Handy!” I spoke up with way too much enthusiasm. It was interesting information in general, but I just wasn’t feeling it and tried to fake it ‘til I made it. I wasn’t hungry either and guessed something of the sort befell that front too. Did not know what kind of pre-digested meat biscuits it had put inside of me and had no desire to find out.
“Can you make me blond?” I asked with the energy of small child.
“Yes.”
I went down the list of utter nonsense just to keep talking. Extra fingers, eyes at the back of my head, gills, tail, claws in weird places. Whatever.
I fell quiet for a moment and monster asked, “Is that all?”
“What do you mean?” my eyes narrowed with suspicion.
“Is there anything else you want?”
Laughter escaped, “You want to make me into a literal monster?”
“Those are your specifications,” creature stated.
“No, no. It was all hypothetical. And I get it, you’re so cool you can make anything happen,” as long as it involves copious amounts of gore. “No need to prove anything to lil ol’ me.”
“So you don’t want any of that?” Was there a disappointment in that damned growl? Need to flex was strong in this one.
“Nnno,” I said and fell into disquiet. I wanted other things. To be happy. To have my family safe. To not have been so powerless. All of those things were moot now. I needed nothing. I needed to be dead. And this thing was determined to keep me around in good health for his own entertainment. Entertain yourself away, I’ll make it memorable.
“What did Priest get?” I asked with a sugary sweet smile and knew it translated into the tone.
“Everything.”
“Um. Was he like… a busty chick before?” I was confused for the guy looked completely average if not for all that facial paralysis thing he had going on.
Tone of the growl changed into something I could call a hum. Was he thinking? “He is my mouth,” monster eventually said.
“Are you having a stroke?” I asked seriously but without a trace of concern. That’d be lucky, so no. It couldn’t be so.
“It’s what that is called. He is part of me.”
“A… mouth part?”
Monster nodded as though feeling my gape. It must have been very obvious, even to a blind man. “He eats for me and therefore is able to transform his flesh whichever way to accommodate that.”
“So you’re… forcing him to… what? Eat other people?”
“He is autonomous,” growl barked at me as though insulted. I held in a scoff. Of course. Spoken like a true asshole in power.
“So he eats people voluntarily, I getchu,” I gibed further. If the thing was losing patience, it was important enough for me to get to the bottom of – broken bones or not.
“He mostly consumes my kind.” If you must know was heavily implied.
“You don’t get along with your er… species?” I pounced on the titbit of possibly vital information.
There was long pause full of consideration again. Yes, you’re talking to a retarded – simplify it so even I could understand. I waited, making faces at the blind creature. “There are no species as such,” it said eventually. “Most can change themselves to specialise in unique survival strategies.”
Fine, I guess it made sense if they all could just grow whichever way they preferred. “So what you meant he eats monsters, in general?”
“Yes,” creature scoffed at me, holding back whatever else it would have wanted to say.
“Can he die?” I ventured into a very pressing matter.
There was an expressive pause again. “Everything can die.”
Including this horned beast, then. But something else was implied there, for the answer wasn’t just yes. “But you won’t let him,” I half stated, half asked.
Another pause full of consideration and a flame of anger blazed up. Ground my now-healthy teeth, blood and pain free. What understated pleasure. “Why?” I urged on the reply.
“Would you cut your finger off?” monster finally decided on an approach.
“You saw that I would,” I countered, teetering on dangerous edge.
Monster’s growl was unsettling. Thundering. “There is no him. That is only my body part. His human function ceased the moment I consumed him. He has that form because it is useful to me. Whatever thought he has is only because I allow it.”
I grit the teeth. “I’m not a mouth, am I?”
“No,” monster growled low. A scoff? Well, utter contempt to you too. Why am I here, then?
“What, I’m not good enough?” Even I didn’t know where I was going with that one. It wasn’t even teasing. I was slipping somewhere dangerous and couldn’t stop myself.
“I don’t make lunatics I just met a part of myself. Eternity is a long time to put up with so much whining,” monster’s reverberations definitely had distaste now.
I cursed myself for losing my cool. How unprofessional. Shouting first thing on my mind would never be a winning strategy, mostly because that would just be wordless screaming. The last thing uttered did calm me at least. Not all was lost. I just need to be insufferable. Easy.
I digested the discontinued conversation sentence by sentence. It made little sense without grander picture, but creature had divulged a lot.