“I’ve something pressing to talk to you about,” all-important devil man said out of the blue, dismissing all my qualms as trivial. Since I had no power to influence monstrous mind, I just sighed and gestured him to go on. “Sit,” he commanded and I rolled my eyes. The asshole was taking this too far.

“Just get on with it. I’ve no patience for dramatics.” Correction - I had patience for the entire drama theatre, just not from this puppet master.

“I can bring some of your friends back,” he said and I felt like I was falling. The homey living room spun or I wobbled. Knees weren’t into standing so much anymore. Perhaps I did need to sit down. Carpet was cushy.

“What?” I stammered out dumbly. My thoughts raced underwater. So much tension left me that I felt part of my soul depart with it. I felt liberated. Free. Less guilty. “If you do that I…”

Imposing man raised a hand to cut me off and I braced for the bad news. Terms and conditions? Who cares!

“What I mean by that, I can definitely restore the bodies. If I find them. The minds won’t be the same, even when I track all of the matter down. I didn’t consume them with intent to preserve. Some are damaged because they contained memories of you. That’s how…”

“Oh,” I know I said that and afterwards didn’t hear a thing anymore. High pitched tone overwhelmed my senses.

This was my fault. I ruined scraps of a chance to get them back. Not that I could have suspected this to be a possibility at all.

After initial wave of emotions subsided, my analytical mind took over - to begin with, the phrasing, the intention behind it was suspect. I would do anything for this and he knew. The memory wipe was my fault and this was no benevolent god bestowing me grace. He wasn’t doing this out of goodness of his heart and I had no choice in the matter, whatever it was he wanted. This was just another way to pull my strings.

“And what would you desire for that?” I wondered sweetly and as diplomatically as humanely possible. Execution was flawless.

It didn’t impress ancient horror. “There is nothing you can give which I can’t take. Even now,” monster’s tone was stern and blood red gaze - intensive. Uncomfortable. “This is not an exchange.”

Really, it never was with him, but nevertheless - everything was an exchange. Such was the way of the world. Favour? Those too bore hidden costs. However, if the crafty demon wanted to play that game, I would oblige. I will do anything for this.

“I apologise.” With just a hint of consequences, all my manners made a grand return. Leverage does that to people. Monster remained inscrutable, at least to my inept eyes, but silence stretched. “Pease go on,” I urged, instead of asking what was behind that fixed stare.

“So you want their remains back.”

What? “Yes!” I nearly screamed. I also vaguely assumed they’d be moving?

“Very well. You shall see for yourself.

Not ominous at all. Before I could even have reservations, a shape took form on the couch next to him. It looked like a rapidly growing fruit and was just as eerily silent, at least to my ears. Bumps formed, shape took form. I recognised who this was even before completion.

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One of Ruby’s girls. She’d even taken name after him - Citrine. Long dirty blond hair, now reduced to a closely cropped halo. Sharp features, made harsher due to the circumstances. Those were improved now, fatty padding landing in all the right places. Face not marred by ingrained unhappiness or badly healed blemishes.

The difference in how she was then and what she would have been under normal circumstances made my gut clench.

“Is this not one of them?” monster asked watching me intently. I was sure he would have been blind to the facial cues even if I wasn’t on top of my self-control, so that means he was spying on something else. I’d have to learn to control even invisible tells. Annoying.

I exhaled the words, “No, it’s her.” And not at all. Was the personality adjusted accordingly, rough bits lost along with the matching looks? Accidentally or on purpose? Or would the change commence upon being observed? No way to know but to ask. “Wake her up, please.”

Eyes darted around under the lids and then they fluttered open. For a hot moment she looked drowsy but upon seeing there was company, bleariness cleared away immediately. Girl crossed her arms, smirked and addressed us, “Is gunn cost extra for both of ya. We clear on that, aight?”

I froze, because it was her. The speech, the flirtatious tone was spot on. Even the clasp of her arms told me this was no empty shell. It was defensive hold, even if the tits got enticingly propped up. Well, that was all of us at some point. She did not want to be here, was confused, outnumbered and scared. Worst of all, there was not a drop of recognition in young girl’s eyes.

My hand rested on her naked knee. The touch burned us both and I moved it away. I thought I had a fair share of difficult conversations and yet I couldn’t fathom how to start this one. Couldn’t I spend three god damn minutes thinking of what I’d say, instead of trying to outsmart an ancient oceanic life form?

“Aw hyel, fine. Since ya both hot, I can lower the rate,” girl spoke again and I saw right through the façade. Of course, the eerie silence in an unknown situation would be more terrifying than whatever real fact I could share right now.

I gave her my happiest disarming grimace, “Oh. Haha. You’re hilarious. Sorry again for spilling that bucket. It’s really an odd lodging, this was all I could find. Funky, isn’t it?” I stood up and twirled the bright coloured bathrobe, then dumped it onto her lap. Of course, that now left me naked, but nudity hasn’t bothered me for ages, and perhaps the obvious lack of interest on my part could work to reassure reluctant guest. Citrine curled up under the article of cloth and seemed to relax into my gibberish.

I twined one of the curtains around me as I babbled on about weather just to keep thawing the atmosphere. Purposefully didn’t leave a lot of room to reply. Gave her all the explanations and excuses. Should I really keep this dialogue so one-sided? Provided too much time to think. What if she noticed all those holes in the memory? Surely, I wasn’t the only thing missing there.

“A party?” girl asked, getting comfortable enough to actually wear the damn thing. My brain must have stopped at the same time the mouth did, I had no idea what she was asking. I must have said something about how or why we ended up here.

“Yeah! More of your friends should be coming soon.” Hm, very generic of me. Those could be anybody – even the jackoffs from the mansion. Dropped few names just to add legitimacy to my flimsy claims, “Amber, Mia. I’ll… I’ll go look for something else to wear. Excuse me. You, come with me. Please,” I stared pointedly at the demon. He probably wasn’t one to chat with the rabble, but didn’t want the unfeeling statue to make her uncomfortable again.

I walked off and impatiently swung my arm forward to urge him, but monster didn’t budge. Once sat, that behind wasn’t going anywhere, it would seem.

“I discontinued the cognition. You may speak here.”

My uneasiness turned into horror, then mild distaste, then anger. Throughout it all I kept the same expression and did not spell out the wrongness excessively loudly.

“Excuse me,” I said and left the warm sitting room for one of the bedrooms past the kitchenette and stairs. Jumped up, because when I tried to close the door I found it blocked by an unseen predator that stalked right behind me.

“You might as well speak with words, too. I much preferred it.”

Should I? Should, I?

The bastard already smelled my agitation.

“And if I do not do what sir prefers?”

He never punished me even when I’d lose my cool. In fact, it was precisely why it got that far and allowed my real personality to emerge in its full glory. Paradoxically, keeping my peace seemed to cause tension. At least I wasn’t the only one feeling that way for once.

“If you think I’m recreating them to control you, I might as well scrap that project into the seas. Perhaps one or two will find their way back to you through a sewer.”

Well, fuck.

I vaguely recalled monster being unhealthily attached to all his bits. “You wouldn’t do that to yourself.” Could he do that to me? Either way, this prompted another dilemma – what sort of life would that spell for them? Unsuspecting mouths? Or, worse – aware appendages to a real monster? Was I making a mistake in my selfishness?

… Can’t I be allowed to be greedy, just once?

“I will have to. There’s too many.”

Right. That.

“So you’d let them go? Just like that?”

“Yess,” he hissed – whether insulted or annoyed, I did not know. It didn’t matter. I didn’t care.

Clutched his lapels and whispered pleadingly, “Don’t discard them.” Bargaining never worked here, but sometimes he just did what I asked.

“Help me fix them instead of quietly panicking and I won’t.”

He won’t. I believed the empty words. They were what I wanted to hear. I gripped monster’s leather collar tighter and decided to bury my misgivings. To begin with, my whole vendetta was about these people. If he restored them, what do I got left to be angry for?

“Okay,” I whispered strangling a sob, which would have escaped with louder words. No conditions were voiced, but I’d be willing to agree to anything anyway. This was fine. I wanted to live that lie for fifteen minutes. This was as close to pure happiness as I’d been for what felt like years.