“How bad was the damage to you?” I asked after a while of uncomfortable crunching underfoot.

“No lethal injuries.”

“But injuries nonetheless?” I pressed for details.

“My being has been fractured,” monster revealed without a care.

“Uhh… that sounds pretty lethal,” I commented taken aback.

“Just some parts of me gaining separate awareness.”

“Uh. That… That’s really bad.”

“Worried?” he asked with slight smile. It was stunning, the mere notion of it on the unfeeling outlandish fiend. “Part of it is self-inflicted. I overextended, and Sensorial sliced a lot of connections apart. I need to find what is me and what shouldn’t be. It will be fine.”

Several parts of such creature vying for control seemed very far from fine, but maybe some other bit of him would just plunge a tentacle straight through my eye?

Would be a pity to lose Mr Reasonable here, I had to admit. He seemed nicer than before. Perhaps people of the olden days were onto something with that rehabilitative brain damage.

“And how is your memory?” I narrowed down my inquiry. After all, the plan was to erase the stolen parts of me and I was extremely curious if it succeeded.

“I know you’re important,” he stated and left a lot of room for speculation.

“So… you don’t even know why you’re doing all this?” Shit. So I’m fuming here and spiting fire and this incarnation of the dunce genuinely doesn’t even have an inkling what the hell for.

“I’ve pieced some of the information back together, but I am hoping you would fill in the gaps.”

“Hah, yea and I guess I can help out with… a several weeks. How’s the rest?”

“Inconsequential.”

“Riight.”

He left my misgivings live their own lonesome life yet again. Watching flakes melt on the red feathers I wondered how much of what he’d said was conversation filler and what was the truth. What if he was just being cautious and didn’t recall much at all?

“Well. There was that time I escaped enslavement and you showed up to tell me that was far from over. Then they got me again, and you were being a creeper whilst we meaningless humans were abused whole night again… I kept waiting for you to join in and frankly was surprised that you hadn’t bothered to stop the fire or at least warn them.”

“You didn’t need my help.”

“But you did that anyway. Help,” I spat out bitterly. “Nobody asked or wanted that.”

“I did. I wanted to keep witnessing you punching well above your weight category. I suspected you’d find ways to get back at me for it.” Monster with human face attempted to smile but it came out weird again.

“Suure you did. Anyway. Then you’ve dragged me back to your worshippers, killing several monsters en route and a bunch of soldiers upon arrival. Oh and also disfigured one cultist to death right after that.”

“Latter was made to last. If he’s dead that’s on him.”

Charming. I must have scrunched up my nose, because red eyes took notice and no-longer-horned monster went on, “Do you want me to raise that child?”

Was he mocking or… oh lord, he was serious. Child? It was, wasn’t it? It fit the rough definition. That meat-surfing nightmare on two legs. Nauseating existence, blessed with parts of sacrilegious god. Creation of mind governed by impenetrable logic. I really wasn’t ready to discuss anything related to monster genealogy.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Shook my head and admitted complete defeat, “I was wrong. I don’t understand a thing. Human concepts can hardly apply to you. Pay me no mind.”

“I didn’t understand a lot, either. You’re providing interesting perspective. Ask, and I’ll explain everything you’d like to know better too.”

He already did. Can’t recall anything he ever chose to keep a secret.

“If not that, what were you unhappy about?” monster wondered.

“Oh, just… The guy was a jerk, but punishment seemed harsh just for throwing several punches at me. There’s a city full of people who’d done way worse and they’re… well, not anymore I guess. Never mind.”

“Is that so?” uncanny human wondered innocently.

“Yeah. Good riddance to most of them, to be honest. Anyway, we stayed in churchtown for like two days and then left to get got by monster hunters.”

Really, quite brief acquaintanceship all in all. How did it come to this?

“When did we have sex?”

“I see you’ve kept important details carefully memorised,” I quipped. “The first day?” I wasn’t sure anymore. Flow of time felt iffy after all that’s happened. “And that wasn’t sex – you just got me off.”

“I was inside of you, and I’ve put you deep inside of me.”

Whoo boy, making an entire copy of me and placing it next to his heart in reality wasn’t remotely as romantic as it sounded. Brownie points for being on top of his flirt game, though.

“Is that a… monster equivalent?” I asked with a dawning understand that indeed it must have been their version of coming together. Brain sharing hazards and all that. “Wellp, good thing that’s never happening again,” I stated firmly but inwardly lamented the loss of another such high. Best experience of my life, ten out of ten, would do it again.

“You didn’t like it. Is that why you sought out a human?”

What a conversation. Chats where my customers wanted feedback were few, but even then I’ve had to smile and lie through my teeth. Here… it felt a little different. He wanted the facts. On the other hand, I could mislead omnipotent being for the rest of Time and that would be pretty hilarious.

“It was too much… and not enough. I wasn’t done yet, and it’s not like you’ve had a dick anyway. What you had instead was this terrible attitude and that turned me off. For a bit. In that way, you did too good a job.”

“So it wasn’t about that human? You seemed to like him.”

I shrugged my stiffening shoulder. “Eh. Not particularly. I needed a place to crash. And owed him some for nursing me back to health that time.”

“That’s good.”

“Why? If you’re gonna try ordering me around or some shit, god help you…” empty threats, but where was a will there was way.

“I won’t; I want you to choose me next time. I’ll refrain from unnecessary comments.”

“Oof, buddy. Don’t push your luck. We’re barely on talking terms.” But I had to admit, I liked conversing with him when he wasn’t incidentally overbearing. And the pleasure was out of this world. Dying whilst having an orgasm was acceptable too.

“Noted. What happened afterwards?”

“After what? Oh. Right. Military. Now you care?” I grumbled, but was happy to have someone to tell this tale to. It was still pretty sore memory and I rather wished it to fade, but the modern cage remained as vivid as the one with metal bars.

“Well, you dropped dead and got all goopy, they shot at me a little bit, then I was canned and put in an aquarium. They thought I am a mouth, because surprise surprise – other monsters stayed well the fuck away from me. Then they took an arm off which again – was partly inhuman and that didn’t help my plea at all. And since I was presumed to be like you, there was no food and barely any drink. So I sat dehydrated and bleeding for… I’ve no idea for how long, but eventually one of the monsters came over for a chat. It asked to eat me and I agreed. I was tired, hurting and dying anyway. I didn’t see the harm.”

“How do you know you agreed?” fashionable man asked, looking only at me and ignoring everything in his path.

“Well… I just do?” I remember it so. I was somewhat aware of the quandary. “It restored me, didn’t it? Could have just waited for you to get to it while sitting on its thumbs all the while.”

“No. Witnessing my flesh merged with the other’s was just an insult. I would have given you new arm. However many you liked,” he said but the delivery was flat and lacking any sense of appropriate drama.

“Now say that again but make it seem like you mean it,” I directed playfully and my tone of voice didn’t fit the sparking anger I felt on the inside, either. I exhaled and went on, “Look… Regardless how gravely offended you were, one of those things would have eventually devoured me…”

“They wouldn’t have. There was very specific warning.”

“Warning. Apft. As I was saying, or I would have just died and humans at the lab woulda had nice field day dissecting me to bits and making smoothies out of it.”

“Which wouldn’t take fraction of my awareness to undo,” creature pouted and couldn’t stop myself from pulling his cheek. He was so cute when unbearably arrogant.

“So you’re telling me I should have just died? Nice. Why can’t I do that now, again?”

“Because…”

It all would have been fine if the creature hadn’t overreacted.

“No. Listen the fuck here. I had something to be alive for then. There was a chance to make it home and I took it. If I can save myself I will always do it. Even now.” I don’t know why exactly I stopped concealing my cards with this guy. I guess there was no hope of lulling ancient intelligence into false sense of security anyway. “For all I knew you were dead in first place. And even if you weren’t…”

“You didn’t think I was coming,” monster finished for me. Yet he had. I might have sounded all dismissive, but part of me still couldn’t help but still be crying tears of joy. Sounded like it was a lot of trouble and that was for… well, over me.

“No,” I admitted the obvious. I hoped, but thus far the only fruit my hopes bore were lemons - which was an odd saying, because those were insanely pricy. “Why would you?”

His chest growled lowly, revealing that this human body was a sham. “I should have given you better nose,” an old, familiar snarl tinted words.

I wasn’t sure how exactly that would have breached the alien language barrier, so just I played indignation, “How dare you! The crook is hardly noticeable!” Not to mention one of the monsters probably straightened it out along with all the other scars. I hadn’t really looked into a mirror all that deeply since this mess started.

The pretender must have been used to my antics and saw right through the concealed confusion. “You would have known. It’s far more acrid. Smell of my main body, which associates with certain death. None of my mouths wear it here. It too violent.”

“So… Between us two… I smell like the real monster?” Gloomy assumptions clouded my mind. “So it was fully your fault the military nabbed me.” I knew they would have anyway and they were well within their right. I wouldn’t have trusted anything that crawled out of dead demon’s body either. But everything afterwards could have been influenced by reek of doom.

It possibly was the thing which kept me alive, too. He’d protected me from his kind, just that the real monsters had no sense of smell.

“It is. I. Am. So. Sorry,” monster pronounced each word firmly as though they were inadequate, but found no others in the process.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I breathed out dejectedly. “Not that bit.”

“It is. I could have killed them all before they saw us.”

I wasn’t one to lament injustices of the two worlds. “Yeah, well, what’s the point in having all that power if you can’t allow yourself to dick around every now and then? Anyway. Wanna know what I did next or that info doesn’t affect your timeline anymore?”

“Tell me,” he commanded raptly.