We all sat at the big window and I pretended it was me observing unknown animals and taking notes. Very curious choice in hairstyle, female specimen. Trying a bit too hard for the co-worker, though the audaciousness was probably well warranted in this case. The oblivious man in question was entranced by me instead – which had some potential to be flattering in any other situation besides this. The lab ambiance didn’t let me fully appreciate the wide-eyed wonder in his eyes.

“Can I have some of that hair product, Miss Augusta?” I raked my overgrown fringes backwards. I was still all grimy, so there was very little sex appeal to find but old habits and all that.

Woman’s big eyes turned to glance at me to make sure I was still safely locked away, then narrowed into a contempt and her lips moved. Unlike her, I couldn’t hear it but I was sure she’d reminded me of her doctorate status. She seemed petty like that.

“What’s the harm? You could clearly use less of it, and I could use… well, anything at this point. Underwear, body paint, what have you.”

Lady doctor scowled something fierce and her companion quipped a line atop of mine with a grin, forcing an anger blush on woman’s face. From what I’d gathered thus far she wasn’t inclined to like me anyway, so antagonising only helped to work out the other angles. So far there were none, but it helped to pass the time anyhow.

I was locked up in an airtight room somewhere deep deep underground. A little more of a pickle than the last time. Flirt hard as I might, I really doubted anyone would be adventurous enough to take me out for a stroll. Not even the enthusiastic scientist, as his obsession lied in keeping me under a microscope. For whatever the damn reason. It’s been days but I was still treated like pestilence.

The moment pod slid into its place between all these other solid steel slabs, they demanded I undress and discard all my possessions and was essentially left alone to stew. I sorely regretted complying and playing a grateful fool. Days later that still got me nowhere. The clothes have been soaked through and muddy, but sleeping and sitting on metal was more than just unpleasant. The assholes even objected to me wrapping shirt around the wounds and threatened consequences. Never got around giving me bandages either. The blood has coagulated, mostly thanks to the thick glop than anything else, making it so that the monster inadvertently saved my worthless life yet again. I wasn’t grateful this time either.

Well, at least the assholes were happy.

“Can you play some music here? I could dance,” I asked in my most alluring tone, watching male mad scientist. Bold claim, as I could hardly stand. My left leg was swollen and barely mobile. Just one other thing to allude to the previous imprisonment. This situation wasn’t as bad yet, but neither had that been… until the guests showed.

Request has been sincere, in any case. The piercing silence made my ears ring, and then hear things which weren’t here. I might have screamed in the night just to hear something. That was after I figured out they weren’t going to let me out anyway, so it was a well calculated breakdown.

At times I felt faint vibration of the floor. Some other creature must have been thrashing nearby. Was all this effort to isolate sound even working on them? My monster probably would have been able hear everything they said floors away. My dead, dead monster with all his worthless promises.

Group of new people entered their side of laboratory. Posture of one signalled it was the boss lady from the field. She and the posse sat down at the back wall as if to observe some show.

“This is awkward. I was actually joking about the dance. You see, that requires at least some clothing for it to be fun,” I didn’t even bother getting up. The pain flared up merely thinking about it.

The people spoke behind the layers of glass and I had only vague idea as to the contents. It was enough to not be optimistic. A click signalled that microphone on their end was enabled.

“We know you are a mouth. Time to stop playing games,” the stern woman jumped right to business.

“And here all this time I was being so hard to get,” I muttered with a weak smirk.

“If you wanted to get caught, you have our full attention,” she both condescendingly implied something and dismissed it in same breath. It made me laugh. The absurdity of the situations I keep finding myself in. Unperturbed, she continued, “We have been eager to find entities we’d be able to reason with.”

Lies and pretend-cooperation could be my way out. Except that I had nothing to show for it. I put all my remaining faith into something rarely graced by my lips - the truth. “Ma’am, I look human, talk human, bleed like a human. I’d walk like human too, but you’ve shot me and the pain barely permits me to crawl. It’s hard to grasp, I know, but it’s all because I am a human.”

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The authoritative figure quirked her eyebrow disapprovingly. “Bleed like a human you most certainly do not. Did you not think we’d run blood tests? Or do you not know what that is?”

I brushed the hair off my face, thinking. That must mean they’ve found something suspicious. Which was more than likely, because that bastard kept sticking his tentacles where they don’t belong. I couldn’t just say a monster has done something to me, because that would only prove their theory correct.

“Really, you’re surprised I ate some strange critters after days in the wilderness?” I suggested instead.

“Not at all. Please tell us more. We are all ears.”

Fuck. Of course she’d assume I took a bite straight out of alien beast’s side. “Well, in the field nearby there were frogs, then some seriously mutated mosquitoes. Perhaps you ought to death spray that place too.”

“Ah, yes. The invasive poisonous frogs,” she tapped her finger onto the clipboard impatiently.

Busted at the starting line. How unfortunate. I really shouldn’t spout things I knew nothing about. Nevertheless, I could only double down at this point, after all she could be bluffing too. “No, they aren’t,” I grinned confidently through my pain.

“They most certainly are. Cut this crap. Will you or will you not cooperate?” a man in pristine uniform barked out.

“At your service,” I bowed as much as my aches permitted. The general sent a smirk towards stern boss lady and she hid her irritation well. Today was not my day. Or week. Or a month. Come to think of it, all my problems have started at birth.

One way or the other not one of the numerous predatory eyes believed me. This will be so embarrassing for them when I peacefully pass away sometime tomorrow. Although, perhaps I can manipulate their wish to hear what they wanted to hear and get at least a tiny reprieve, along with a little more time.

I didn’t pay attention to their following prompt and spoke over it instead, “If you want something from me, I need something too.”

The observatory stilled and their attention reached laser focus. “What is it?”

“Water.” I was so unspeakably thirsty. I’d guzzle down bleach at this point.

Augusta turned back to the panel of important people and commented, “He keeps asking for it. We theorise that it’s how he connects to the entity.” The microphone muted and they discussed possibility further, whatever that meant.

Brilliant minds hard at work. So glad I never got to paying any taxes. This was just sad.

Speakers came back to life with a bark, “Is that true?”

I grappled with facts and wondered which answer they’d prefer. “Wouldn’t you like to see?” I employed my smart mouth, figuring the big window was here for a reason.

“Regardless. We’re confident in the holding. We decided to permit it,” boss lady announced. “As a show of good faith.” It was implied there was more where that came from, if I behave. I didn’t even need to delve into my past experiences to decipher this.

Disproportionally tall ceiling opened up and mist of clear water sprayed the walls. There was a hatch up there hiding all sorts of mechanisms. They probably hoped monsters would have harder time getting to it. I doubted it, but I wasn’t a monster specialist and they apparently operated just fine.

I wrestled with the mist in a losing battle until it turned into simple stream in the centre of the cell. I crawled and gulped it down greedily. This must have added a day or two to my lifespan. Perhaps in few more days the chemicals monster left behind would clear out and they’ll snap out of it?

Spa treatment has come to an end. Everyone stared at me with an open-mouthed anticipation.

“Ta-dah!” I fluttered my hands enthusiastically. No, this wasn’t it. I grabbed at my chest and pretended to writhe in pain on the wet floor, which wasn’t much of an exaggeration because I had moved my leg and it was now determined to kill me. Someone in the peanut gallery even stood up to see better. I straightened out, but didn’t sit up anymore. “Sorry, heartburn. It’s what happens when you don’t feed your prisoners for days on end.”

“There’s no need to pretend to be in a weakened state. The only way you’re getting out of here is through thorough cooperation and proving you can be of use to us,” one of the brass dismissed my theatrics.

I got a clear impression it was the truth. This was about furthering their goals, not saving anyone. I knew, and yet had to ask. My tired mind could be imagining an extra layer of despair in this diminished capacity.

“… And if - if - I am but a puny human and you’ve wasted all this time and effort?”

The scornful general was about to confirm my suspicions, but was cut off by the male scientist, “Are you really not aware you’ve been made into a mouth?”

I scoffed with some eye rolling. Outrageous idea – though I only had words of a monster to go by. “Who even came up with that naming? It’s beyond ridiculous.”

“Yet you know what that means,” stern woman’s voice pointed out again.

Touché. “You keep repeating it, would be stranger had I not figured that out,” I replied and diverted attention with some other dangerous topic, “Have you considered that I am… not that?”

The committee side-stepped walking in circles and went on with their grand list of inquiries, “Was the other abnormality a part of you, another mouth or some other structure?”

I scrubbed the face hopelessly. I couldn’t showcase any grandiose feats of a monster. Telling the truth will get me killed, which at this pace is going to happen anyway, so I went for it. “You’re not listening. I keep telling you, it just tried to eat me. You people showed up right on time for me to escape that.”

My version of the story was not believed. Again. Pretty smart of them, since I lied about most everything anyway.

Then there was a slew of meaningless questions I could not even begin to process. My mind drifted through most of them.

“What can you tell us about the coin?”

“How much platinum can you produce?”

“Are you an eye?”

“Did the gas hurt your main body?”

“Is that why you cannot restore yourself?”

“How did you establish contact, communicate with the entity?”

There was finally, something I could actually answer. I muttered, “We just talked. Normally. Perhaps you coulda had nice interview with someone more informed had you tried speaking instead of shooting first?”

“What did it want?”

How should I know? Vacation? A pet. The line of inquiry irked me. “World domination,” I spilled some of that roiling irritation onto my rapt audience. To say they were alarmed was an understatement. My cell was cut off from the discussion again. They acted as though two copies of that spooky monster weren’t already scooped up by ladles and tucked away in another lab.

The roomful of powerful people settled down and proposed a question, “What did it ask about?”

He wanted to know what upset me. How few people have ever asked that. I covered my face to hide from the brutal lights. The all-important visitors kept on badgering me about something but I was lost to the world.

The metal floor punished me harsher than just with passive aches and the cold. Electrocution shook my body. It wasn’t unbearable, but the speaker advised me to get serious. Apparently that was the lowest setting. My leg was leaking anew.

I stared at all the people who’d gathered here today to get their answers no matter what.

“Your way of getting cooperation sucks,” I wheezed out weakly.

“We tried simply talking. It is getting us nowhere.”

“That’s because you’re not listening… If I was some badass monster, I’d so fuck you up.”

The speaker sounded awfully smug next time he asked an irrelevant question I had no chance of replying to, as if expecting me to flip out and reveal my cards. Well, I was in for a bad time.