[Congratulations! You survived the night! Welcome to a new day in the afterlife. As with all Norse afterlives, you spent all day fighting, pillaging, and plundering. Some lived, and some died. But all those lives lost are returned, to pillage and plunder again until the Ragnarok decides to come and create the cycle again.]
I love blue. I decided to try to embrace my inner liar this morning. Might as well get all the blue boxes out of the way. I had a collection of them from yesterday's snafu. The remainder of yesterday didn’t last long, Pest and I didn’t do anything beyond take an occasional potty break. I may have peed on a grave. But it can’t be proven.
[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal’s sneak attack is successful! Pest takes a moderate amount of Piercing Damage!]
[Pest is pinned!]
[Congratulations. You have unlocked the skill Basic First Aid!]
[You have freed Pest!]
[Pest bites you! you take a small amount of Piercing Damage!]
[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal’s sneak attack is successful! You take a moderate amount of Piercing Damage!]
[Congratulations. You have unlocked the skill Berserker!]
[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal’s attack is successful! You take a small amount of Graze Damage!]
[Congratulations. You have unlocked the skill Power Strike!]
[Your attack is successful! Unknown Ruffian Cannibal takes a large amount of Piercing Damage!]
[Your Bullrush Attack succeeds! You stagger Unknown Ruffian Cannibal!]
[Your attack is successful! Unknown Ruffian Cannibal takes a moderate amount of Blunt Damage!]
[Congratulations. You have unlocked the skill Boxing!]
[Your attack is successful! Unknown Ruffian Cannibal takes a moderate amount of Blunt Damage!]
[Your attack is successful! Unknown Ruffian Cannibal takes a moderate amount of Blunt Damage!]
[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal falls in glorious battle to your party!]
[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]
[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]
[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]
[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]
[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]
“Unknown Ruffian Cannibal is a mouthful,” I spoke aloud at the System. “Let's change that, aye? U. R. C. Urk. Urkel? Urkel. Let's call him Urkel, System.”
It didn’t respond, but I hoped it would accept the idea. It may be unfair to poor Steve, but this guy needed a name. Urkel would work for the cannibal fuck. Why was he even hunting me at this point? Animals existed now, the deranged bastard should be having a happy BBQ back at his hunting blind and leaving me the hell alone.
The skills were unexpected, but they shouldn't have been. Still waiting to get a skill for sneezing or something. I checked them.
[Basic First Aid]
Unlock Conditions - Aid yourself or someone with an injury.
[lvl 1] - Provide basic aid to an injury, band-aid time.
[lvl 3] - Provide basic aid to a serious injury, splint it up.
[lvl 6] - Provide basic aid to a more emergent injury, sew it closed.
[lvl 9] - Provide basic aid to any level of injury, stabilize someone who is wounded. WALK IT OFF!
[Berserker]
Unlock Conditions - Reach a berserk state on your own.
[lvl 1] - Summon a berserk state once a day.
[lvl 3] - Summon a berserk state twice a day.
[lvl 6] - Summon a berserk state three times a day.
[lvl 9] - Summon a berserk state indefinitely, can be deactivated at will. HULK SMASH!
[lvl 11] - Gain immortality as an infinite berserker. RAGE BURNS ETERNAL.
As Berserker came across my notifications, a glitch played across the screen, distorting and pulling at the box and text. It also had a level 11 and extra sassy tagline added to it. Something didn’t seem right with it. I decided to report it when I was done checking out my gains.
[Power Strike]
Unlock Conditions - Focus on an attack and surpass your limits,
[lvl 1] - Attack beyond your capabilities adding power to your strike.
[lvl 3] - Attack beyond your capabilities adding at least 25% power to your strike.
[lvl 6] - Attack beyond your capabilities adding at least 50% power to your strike.
[lvl 9] - Attack beyond your capabilities adding at least double power to your strike. EAT THIS!
[Boxing]
Unlock Conditions - Hit something with fists.
[lvl 1] - You can ram your meat hooks into things, doing damage.
[lvl 3] - You can perform special maneuvers to injure your opponent.
[lvl 6] - You know that footwork is just as important as the fist, dealing more damage while taking less damage.
[lvl 9] - You can knock out nearly any opponent with a single strike. IS THAT REALLY… THE LIMIT TO YOUR POWER?
More attack skills were a soothing balm to my nerves. Each day I got stronger, which would make me more able to protect what I valued. They were true gains.
Report.
[Would you like to report an issue?]
[Misuse of this feature could result in administrative actions.]
“Something is wrong with the Berserker skill. Glitched out the system on unlock.” I told the System simply and submitted my input. Either I would get a reward for finding something broken, yelled at, or smote. Even bet on all, and I didn’t really give a shit which one, though I hoped for the reward.
I stretched, noticing a complete lack of stabbing pain in my limbs. I still ached, having slept on the ground, but my wounds from yesterday didn’t hurt. Looking at my arm where it had been slashed revealed a healed scar, but no injury. Interesting that it left a scar, but the wound was miraculously healed. My knee was likewise better underneath the rolled up pant leg. Checking on Pest, who was still snoozing, I found his wound healed as well. But the fur was distorted where it had come back. I guess that the System wanted us to remember our failures. I could imagine a rough death completely disfiguring someone cosmetically. I hoped Urkel looked like someone stabbed him in his scraggly little face. I smiled as I envisioned him seeing his reflection in the water and pouting about his new trophy. I followed it quickly with a snort. I knew that stinky bastard never got near the water.
I started packing up for the continued hunt, the new bow that I had acquired was around the same quality as the one I was using. I’d bring it with me back home, one could never have enough weapons. His arrows all went into my original quiver. I Deconstructed the extra quiver for component resources. It gave me some twine and a mat woven out of some plants. I stuffed them into the bag. His backpack had some more of the dried plants that I found before, but had no idea what were, and some nuts and berries. Again, I deconstructed the bag, getting the same materials as the quiver. The victuals went to my harvest bag on my hip. A primitive stone knife went into my bag next, it reminded me of the spear head I left at camp. I’d have to make a few spears when I got back. I was a big fan of spears. Long reach and good defensive item, as well as hunting tool. If I stumbled into some wild pigs, they would be invaluable in scoring some easy meat and materials. Pigs liked to charge at you, I think, and a spear placed well would cause it to impale itself, doing all the work for me.
The last bit of interest was the bag that was around his neck. It was a small pouch. Leather this time, with a simple drawstring closure. Inside were a few coins of different colors. A couple of them were pale gray, and caught the shine of the sun, but were otherwise dull. If it was era-appropriate maybe it was made of silver or lead? They were the size of a nickel and not very heavy. A tiny relief of a wickedly smiling man with a beard was on one side. He was ringed with some runes that I couldn't read. The other side has a plus shape with some swirls on the ends. Some sort of Celtic symbology. A few larger coins that had a green sheen to them were in the bag too. They looked like old pennies, slightly greenish, so I assumed they were copper or bronze. They were the size of old dollar coins that I used to collect.
The relief side sported the same smiling man and runes, the other side had a more intricate carving. A small circle had eight lines coming off of it like the spokes on a wheel. Each spoke had short lines and half circles coming off of it. Another Viking symbol of some sort that was completely foreign to my mind. Could be a symbol for a flower or a torture device for all I knew.
What was more interesting was the fact that the coins existed at all. This has a few meanings that I could immediately think of. On one hand it meant that people existed here, this wasn’t just a realm created with a handful of players tossed in. There was a civilization here, or once had been one. These coins looked old. I didn’t know if that was because the only time, I had seen coins like this were on random internet articles about some dude in England finding an ancient treasure trove in his garden. Or if it meant that Urkel had found them in some abandoned village or something. But then again, if he found an ancient settlement, why would he be living in a tree in the middle of nowhere? He must have stolen or traded for them. Most likely stolen, knowing his MO.
I slipped the coins back into the pouch and put it around my neck. His treasure was now mine. Won by right of combat. And maybe a bit of luck. I decided to put my saved up stat points in Luck and Strength. Seemed like luck was seeing me through, and brute strength was winning my battles. I might as well boost them.
Suddenly my body was slightly different. I flexed an arm and it bunched with muscles. It hadn’t been like this since I was in weight training in high school as a teenager. That magical time where a little working out would pack on muscles effortlessly. It didn’t last long, but my arms still had the stretch marks of when I was swole. Well, I was swole again, and I liked it. Looking at my midriff, however, did not reveal any six packs, only the keg of my dad bod belly. I shrugged. It's okay. I still had the gun show to see. I flexed. If only my daughter was here, I knew she would appreciate the dad joke. I smiled sadly and slipped on my rucksack.
I poked at Pest.
“Time to hunt, buddy.” I told him. He yawned, showing all his pointy little teeth to me and stretched. God damned adorable! I tousled his fur, much to his disgust. He responded by running over to a rock and loudly defecating. He held eye contact with me the entire time. Little weirdo.
We slipped out of the copse of trees with little fanfare, and I kicked the dirt laying over the body of Urkel as we passed. For a moment I considered digging into the mound to see whether the body was still there or not. I wasn’t sure what the System did with bodies after we respawned. Was it still in there, if you killed yourself a bunch of times in a row, would there just be a pile of yous after a few days? But I decided to leave that mystery for another day.
The meadow was still pleasant. A light breeze cutting through doing that magical thing with all the tall grass. It danced. Flowers poked up into the sky, yellows and purples being prominent amongst them. Busy and noisy bees zipped around collecting up pollen for their honey. I wondered how hard it would be to collect a bee nest and relocate it to my camp? That blonde lady on the internet had made it look magically easy.
Pest dove through the tall grass disappearing and reappearing like a slippery seal cutting through the waves of the sea.
“Hey buddy, you safe? Do you need a ride?” I asked him as he breached the grass near me.
‘Pest sneakiest sneak. No rivals will discover,’ he said confidently. I found his style of stealth wasn’t what I thought of when I imagined how to act stealthily. I Always thought of the cliché cat burglar, tip-towing along in a half crouch while slowly testing each footstep for the faintest of sound. Pest’s stealth was moving forward confidently at a steady pace, weaving and flowing around objects without a sound. Even the hunting I had seen him do previously, he had walked right up to the prey with a nearly reckless speed and grabbed hold without a single hesitation.
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He seemed to know what he was doing so I left him about his business. No pun intended. He really did act like a little businessman, didn’t he? A thought struck me, businessmen got paid.
“Hey, Pest!” I called his attention, “Look what I found.” I fished one of the small coins out of my neck pouch and showed it to him. His little black eyes fixated on the shiny coin, and I slowly lowered it to him. He rushed over and sniffed it all over before glancing at me.
‘Remuneration for Pest?’ he asked quietly.
“Sure, little buddy.” I confirmed. Remuneration? Where the hell does a little ferret who can’t seem to form complete sentences or vocalize get this sort of vocabulary. I was starting to think he was smarter than me. What next, a chicken that knows kung-fu? A cat that can sing Wonderwall?
Pest gently took the coin into his mouth and looked around and before he was able to bolt off and bury the coin somewhere I caught his attention again.
“Do you want to put it in the bag, so we can take it back to camp?” I asked him, and he jumped at me almost immediately with his arms splayed. He tried to stick to me like a cat climbing a tree, but his claws didn’t find purchase like a cat’s would. I just laughed and picked him up on my shoulder. After some skittering, scrabbling and digging at the inside of the pack he suicide jumped off my shoulder back to the ground.
With a whump, like a sack of flour, he hit the ground and skittered back off into the grass. Fearless little shit. I just smiled to myself and started back on our hunt.
‘Here!’ Pest announced to me after a short time of stalking along the grasslands. His outline indicator had him a few paces forward and to my left so I stalked up, trying to be as quiet as I could. Hopefully I was using my Sneak skill without needing to crouch walk like an old man with a bad back, like most games modeled it to be. Ahead of Pest was another one of the tall rabbits. Once I got within what I considered was a good range I drew back on the bow with a steady breath. My pull was much cleaner, and I didn't struggle as much holding the tension. My new Strength showing obvious results. I released and the arrow shot off, it wasn’t a perfectly clean shot, the arrow had a little bit of a wobble to it.
It still flew true and slammed into the rabbit in its midriff. Pest shot off after it as soon as I had released the arrow. He was on the rabbit a moment later, biting onto its throat and thrashing like a tiny alligator. The rabbit had to be twice as big as his minute form, but that didn’t stop his fearless attack.
I rushed in behind him, but the creature was already dead. I had a joyous cheer! We wouldn’t starve!
“Fantastic!” I announced it to the world. Pest thrashed at it some more.
“You can let go buddy, we got him.” I told him as I picked the creature up by its long ears and he hung onto it for a moment longer, before letting go and tumbling to the ground. He did a little war dance in excitement.
‘Good deal!’ He announced into my mind.
“Excellent deal!” I agreed with him. I used some twine to tie the dead rabbit to the back of my belt. As I was adjusting the comfort of the hanging creature Pest dove down into a hidden burrow that the rabbit was standing above. A short time later he came back out dragging a small baby rabbit with him. It was already dead. I felt a little bad about it, but Pest didn’t have such compunctions, diving back into the burrow. He did this a few more times, finally coming out without a prize. In total he collected three of the little babies. With a little twinge of sadness, I put them in my harvest bag. There may not be enough meat to feed me on their little bodies, but they would give Pest a couple good meals each. I wasn’t about to relinquish his bounty due to my fluttery heart about some cute little dead bunnies. This was about survival.
“Let’s get a move on, just in case Urkel has made it back this way again.” I told Pest. He was tired and tried to climb me again, so I helped him up into the rucksack. Apparently too tuckered out to play lookout he disappeared into the bag completely. Hunting was what he was made for, and he used all his energy to see it done just now. Time for him to rest. I think ferrets normally sleep for twenty hours a day anyway.
I made my way at a steady pace in a direction that would take me toward the muddy river and away from the copse of trees that I had fought with Urkel at. I didn’t want to give him any better of a trail than I had to. And revealing my log bridge crossing seemed like a serious error. Unless he was the one who built it? But it looked way too old to be built by someone with such an underdeveloped camp site. It was like he only started a short time before me. Just enough to malnourish within a game-free environment, but not long enough to build himself up any serious resources. Unless he just was not motivated to develop himself. Or maybe it wasn’t his camp, just an outpost. But he spawned there, and I intuited that the System would spawn you wherever home was. But that was an assumption.
As my mind wandered around with these thoughts, I worked my way through a rather large copse of trees. More like a tiny forest in the grasslands. A stick snapped to my right, and I swirled in that direction, bringing my bow to bear, expecting to have Urkel breathing down my neck and ready to strike. Before I even consciously thought about it, I drew back on the bow and released. My instincts proved a better shot with a bow than my conscious mind. The arrow flew out smoothly and slammed right into the chest of a little buck. With a squeal the deer took off like a shot. It crashed off into the woods and went out of sight in an instant. I heard it bursting through the vegetation and off into the distance. I stood in shock for a moment. I hit a deer! This was a great victory! Food, leather, bone and horn. The number of supplies I could get from this one deer would keep us happy for at least a week if not more!
Okay, I had to chase it down, to track it. I scanned the area that I had hit the deer in, there was blood spray in the vegetation at hip level. I could see some drips and drops through the area it had left by, as well as broken vegetation. Obvious track marks. I could do this! I followed the trail as best I could. After a few paces it started to get harder. I had trouble finding the blood drops amongst bushes and couldn’t tell if the broken vegetation was fresh or not. I had a solution for this.
“Pest!” I yelled and slung my rucksack down to the ground. I flipped open the flap and snatched the groggy little fellow out. I held him up to my face. “Pest! I need you to follow a trail!” I announced to him and stuffed his face into some blood in a bush. I may have been overdoing it a little bit, but I was excited.
He roughly shook himself and gave me a side eye stare. After a moment of him staring at me and me vibrating in excitement he started scenting. At a sedate, almost lazy pace he started off in a direction. He was moving slowly to punish me, I knew it!
“Please!” I begged him. With a long suffering sigh, he started a little faster.
After a few minutes following a trail that was absolutely undiscoverable by me, we found the deer. It has settled down onto its side and expired. The dirt around its legs was torn up like it kicked at nothing until its legs stopped. A hint of regret hit me, it was a beautiful creature. It was also a tasty and useful creature.
“Thank you for your sacrifice,” I intoned in a serious manner. After a short moment, I set down my bag, which Pest crawled back into, and I set to preparing the animal. I encouraged my skinning skill to help me field dress the animal and my auto-pilot kicked on to remove the animal's entrails. As I pulled out various bits and pieces, I knew some of it was useful, but other than the heart and lungs, I didn’t know what organ was what. I didn’t want to sicken myself by eating the wrong thing, so I just removed everything.
The auto-pilot skill took over doing something with the legs I didn’t understand. I removed the first bone from each leg and then tied the legs together using the remaining skin. It was a bit macabre. As I stared at the odd result of my skill, I stored the leg bones in my backpack. Pest licked at the bones like a lollipop. The little gross heathen.
Bone was a strong substance and would come in handy, I was sure. As I tugged on my backpack, I realized what the odd actions with the legs were for. I set my rucksack down and went over to the deer, using the legs as straps I put on my brand new deer backpack. This would definitely help me get it back to camp. With some struggling I re-equipped my rucksack along top of the deer, as it hung sort of low on my back. I grabbed my two bows and started making my way back in the direction of the log bridge.
No helping it now, there was no way I’d be able to cross the river without it. I’d just have to risk leaving a trail for Urkel. I’d have to make a raft soon. Thinking of making a boat reminded me of that half broken boat I found entombed in the sand. I wondered why that discovery didn't make me think of pre-existing civilizations, but a bag of coins on a cannibal did? Maybe I should level up my Wits with my next stat point.
As I walked, I activated my notifications window which had been blinking with an after-action report since I took on the rabbit. I found it easier to ignore the steadily blinking notification light than deal with the blue screen.
[Your sneak attack is successful! Mother Bunny takes a moderate amount of Piercing Damage!]
[Pest’s Critical Strike succeeds! He does critical Piercing and Crushing damage to Mother Bunny!]
[Mother Bunny falls in glorious battle to your party!]
[Pest’s Critical Strike succeeds! He does critical Piercing and Crushing damage to Adorable Innocent Baby Bunny!]
[Adorable Innocent Baby Bunny falls in glorious battle to your party!]
[Pest’s Critical Strike succeeds! He does critical Piercing and Crushing damage to Adorable Innocent Baby Bunny!]
[Adorable Innocent Baby Bunny falls in glorious battle to your party!]
[Pest’s Critical Strike succeeds! He does critical Piercing and Crushing damage to Adorable Innocent Baby Bunny!]
[Adorable Innocent Baby Bunny falls in glorious battle to your party!]
Yesh, the System was laying it on thick with those names. I sure as hell didn’t pick those out for the bunnies. Poor little things.
[Your attack is successful! Little Buck takes a large amount of Piercing Damage!]
[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Tracking Skill!]
[Congratulations! You have gained one stat point to allocate!]
[Little Buck falls in glorious battle to your party!]
[Congratulations! Skinning has increased to Level 2!]
[Tracking]
Unlock Conditions - Track some form of prey.
[lvl 1] - You can follow the obvious trail of prey.
[lvl 3] - You can follow the obscure trail of prey and know details of its health and speed.
[lvl 6] - You can follow the hidden trail of prey and know details of its health, speed and destination.
[lvl 9] - You can follow the invisible trail of prey and know the details of its health, speed, destination and if it knows you are following you or not. NOT EVEN TONTO WAS THIS GOOD!
A tracking skill, I wasn’t too interested in that. And with Pest’s help, I don’t think I needed to worry about it too much. He found that deer with no trouble, I didn’t know my ass from a blood trail. Leveling up skinning was awesome. I didn’t think I would be anywhere near leveling something up. Maybe it had to do with that new trick it showed me? New experiences leveling things up faster could be a thing. It would make logical sense, if not strictly gaming sense. But there were a few games that penalized people for repeating the same thing over and over to grind experience. Diminishing returns on repeated actions. I would just have to try everything once, for maximum gains. Seemed I was already on a good track.
I made it to the log bridge after an uneventful hike through the grasslands. I didn’t see any evidence that anyone other than I had crossed, but with the mess I had made of the bushes at the far entrance, someone could have just followed my path without leaving another obvious trail.
I tried to coax some of the bushes I had laid waste to before to fill the hole again. Not sure if it worked or not, but it was getting dark, and I didn’t want to dally any longer. By the time I made it back to camp it was dark. Pitch ass black dark. I almost died due to tripping a half dozen times. But I made it. I let down my bundles and took a moment to light the campfire before taking a little rest. I haven’t mentioned it much, because it would be pretty much nonstop if I did, but the bugs were still present and very persistent. I felt ate up by the insects and bathed in the smoke of the fire to purge the little beasts from my presence. At Least I had learned to smack them gently enough not to trigger a blunt damage notification each time I squished one of them.
By the light of the fire, I took the deer and suspended it from a tree. I would have to work it over in the morning. I was worn out, it was another hell of a day. I hung the bunny alongside it on a limb. I ate a couple apples and did a quick wash in the river before bedding down in the dirt of my little hut.
***
Pest did not enjoy yesterday. Someone had holed him! A hole, right through his body. It was not okay. He was considering reporting this to human resources, but he didn’t want to make trouble for the chairman. Pest knew how human resources could be. His mother had been the human resources chairperson in his last business. When infractions came to her attention things did not go pretty.
“Time to hunt, buddy.” Viktor summoned Pest to his shift, he wasn’t late for it, but he would start early if he must. Viktor ruffled Pests fur, which he did his best to discontinue as quickly as possible. He didn’t want Viktor’s smell to ruin his musk blend. He had been cultivating it ever since the washing and had just gotten it to where it pleased him. A mister must have his musk, his father would always say.
Pest did his morning ablutions while watching Viktor. It was odd that he was watching him, but again, he refused to begrudge the man his foibles. So many foibles.
They left the woods and entered the great sea of grasses. Pest liked the grass, he could pass through it with relative ease, not making a sound while being protected from the eyes of any rivals that might be in the area. Had they not been in the open forest, but amongst the grasses yesterday, the so-called Urkel would not have been able to conduct his hostile takeover attempt.
“Hey buddy,” Viktor called out to him, “Do you need a ride?”
‘Pest sneakiest sneak,’ Pest replied. ‘No rivals will discover.’ He knew he was the best at sneaking and would only get better with refinement.
“Hey, Pest!” Viktor called to him as he was sniffing at the grass stalks. “Look what I found.” He pulled the most beautiful thing that Pest had ever seen out of his neck pouch. The light glinted off it in a shine that would light any darkened office. It was a magical disc of commerce. Legend amongst his home business spoke of these, a businessman of quality could use these to trade for goods and services without the risk or need of bloodshed. The optimum trade.
Pest took the scent into himself, savoring it and locking it away into his memory. He would never forget this smell, he would hunt for it until his dying days. Someday with grandkits of his own he would tell stories about this. With great solemnity Pest looked Viktor in the eyes. Could this be for him? A legendary disc of trade for him?
‘Remuneration for Pest?’ He asked, with a great fear in his heart that Viktor would say no, but even if he did say no, his days were forever blessed for the scent memory of this object. But he had done so much, protected the office, supplied the serpent meat, saved the chairman's life from a terrible villain, suffered the indignity of a rinsing of the musk and multiple unpleasant foibles. He asked for nothing in return. But this he asked for and desired with all his being.
“Sure, little buddy,” The words, so simple, a balm to his very soul. The chairman saw his effort and appreciated his work ethic. Pest was a valued associate, he knew it, and now it was proven. Pest took the coin and instantly his instincts screamed at him to hide it from his rivals. Where? Where to put it?! Viktor offered him something, but he didn’t catch it. The nest! It was with them! He leapt and scrabbled at Viktor trying to access his portable nest. Viktor picked him up, he would allow it for this, and he dove into the nest. He dug and buried the prize at the deepest recess of the nest and buried it under every object within. This would have to do, for now. When they returned to the office, he would find a true storage depot for it. He would have to build one.
Pest dug his way free of the nest and in his exuberance jumped from Viktor’s shoulder. Falling through the air he felt free and energized, ready to work diligently for the business. If Viktor wanted to hunt, Pest would hunt! He landed with a thud, but it didn’t even matter, his work ethic driving him to ignore his weaknesses.
Diving through the grass he immediately picked up a scent on a prospective client. The clients were different from the rivals, they didn’t desire the same things Pest wished. They wanted the inedible plants and fruits that infested the world. He didn’t understand it, but the clients made very valuable trade goods and he would take advantage of that. His scent trail wasn’t a very long one, after about one standard bloit he found the client. This client was a large one with very large ears, a prime specimen of its species. Pest liked this client type, they had especially tasty trade goods. A burrow was under the client, full of the product and promised of good deals to be had.
“Here!” Pest shouted to Viktor. He heard the noisy chairman advancing. A thrum noise sounded from behind him, and he bolted forward ready to charge into the burrow and extract the goods. An arrow sailed across the distance and slammed into the client. Pest would have left the client and only taken the goods, but the chairman had other plans, so Pest quickly changed his plans and bashed into the client. His powerful jaws clamped around the clients neck. These clients usually ran away at the sight of a businessman so he latched on as hard as he could and began serious negotiations.
The chairman let out an excited shout, but Pest couldn't hear what was said as he negotiated hard with the client. Soon, much to Pests' displeasure, the client started to raise. He thought he had subdued it and thrashed violently against it.
“You can let go buddy,” Viktor announced. “We got him.” Pest released his grip and fell to the ground, still excited that his negotiations concluded in a profitable exchange and displayed his fighting prowess for the world to see.
‘Good deal,’ Pest concluded.
“Excellent deal,” Chairman Viktor agreed with Pest.
Pest didn’t wait for further gratification and dove into the burrow. It wasn’t a deep burrow and inside he found the goods. Sweet, succulent goods. He gripped the first client-spawn and crushed its throat with his powerful jaws as he dragged it out for the waiting chairman. Without waiting for confirmation of his good work he dove back in to pull the remaining products out. He proudly displayed his bounty to the chairman who graciously accepted them and put them in his bag. After one last trip into the burrow, just to make sure no other goods were smuggled into any hidden crevices, a wise businessman had to be careful of smugglers, he came out exhausted. This profitable day had been very long and fruitful, and now he was ready to end his shift.
“Let’s get a move on, just in case Urkel has made it back this way again.” Chairman Viktor told him, and he agreed. He tried to climb the chairman and enter the nest, and the chairman magnanimously helped him reach it. Pest snuggled deeply into it, burying himself next to his precious prize of legendary trade disc and went to sleep without more ado than closing his eyes.
***
Pest was awoken rudely by the chairman throwing his nest down to the ground and snatching Pest out. They were nose to nose, and Pest grumpily stared at him. This was not okay. His shift was over, and this was his personal time. He really may need to go to human resources after all. This chairman had boundary issues.
“Pest, I need you to follow a trail!” Chairman Viktor announced and shoved Pest’s face into some fresh blood. It was an interesting scent. Something like the big clients, but they were much too large for his small business to have dealings with. Even their trade good client-spawn were too large for businesses of Pests caliber to manage. But maybe this chairman's eyes were bigger than his stomach and desired to try for a larger clientele.
With some scenting, Pest easily picked up the trail for the large client and started to slowly follow it. Most inappropriate, but Pest was a valued associate and would still acquiesce to his chairman's commands.
“Please!” Chairman Viktor commanded Pest. With a great sigh Pest took a moment to count too many. One. Two. A few. Many. Now feeling a little calmer, he remembered he was a professional and started following the scent trail in earnest. It was such a simple trail even a newborn kit could follow it. But the chairman was either, god forbid, inadequate or unwilling to track it himself. This must be one of Pest’s primary roles, he must have decided, so Pest would fulfill the role. After about half a standard bloit the client was found, negotiation already complete. Pest was impressed with the chairman's business acumen again.
“Thank you for your sacrifice,” Chairman Viktor said. This made Pest feel better. It was nice to be appreciated. He had given up his rest period for this after all. With a silent nod of acceptance Pest crawled back into his nest and allowed the chairman to finalize his transaction with the large client. Maybe it was Pest who was the one with eyes too small, and this business would be reaching clientele Pest wouldn’t have imagined possible with his previous business.