We reconnected with Dark after that, who was indeed hemming and hawing about buying the most ridiculous mall ninja knives you ever have seen. I swear there was even a Klingon bat’leth amongst the collection. He had a bloody spot on his forehead as well, so Gorm must have gotten him on his rounds of blessings.
“Which god claimed you?” I asked with curiosity. I expected him to say some devilish thing.
“Baldr”, he answered with a sour face, “you?”
“Loki.” I answered and his face went even more sour. He looked like he was sucking a lemon and squeezing his eyes shut.
“What?” I asked.
“Baldr is the god of joy and light.” He said with a heavy sigh.
I laughed.
“It’s okay papi,” Mave reassured him. “At least Baldr is dead.”
“How do you receive a blessing from a dead god?” I asked curiously.
“They are gods, death doesn’t seem to stick.” Halloway chimed in.
“Does that mean he is undead?” I mused aloud.
“Oh! That is a good point.” Dark said cheering up a little.
“Baldr, the undead god of joy and light.” I announced. He frowned again.
That seemed to break his window-shopping spirit so we made our way back to the fort and our cabin. I stowed all my finds at my bunk and proceeded to beg some sewing supplies from the group. Surprisingly it was Dark who held them. I discovered, I guess unsurprisingly, that he had learned to sew so he could make his own cosplay and goth outfits in the past world.
I took some time to affix one of my patches to the jacket. It wasn’t the best job, but it was on the shoulder and probably wouldn’t fall off.
[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Sewing skill!]
[Sewing]
Unlock Conditions – Use needle and thread to join two objects.
[lvl 1] – You can affix two things with needle and thread to a suitable degree. THIS IS A REAL COMENDABLE SKILL!
A suitable degree was good enough for me. I handed the needle and thread back to Dark who had been hovering close the whole time. When I asked him why he was back-seat sewing he mentioned that the needle had cost him a handful of coins. It made sense, precision instruments must be expensive in hammer and anvil levels of industry.
I removed the feather that Pest had liberated from the priest’s platform. It was slightly disheveled from his handling, and the tip look cut off. I Inspected it.
Name: Quill
Material: Raven Feather
Durability: Slightly Damaged
Value: Average
FLAGS: NONE
Nothing special, just a quill. I looked closely at the nib on the end of the feather. I had always been fascinated by quills, but never had the chance to handle a real one. The ink that it had been used with was a dark reddish brown. Dried blood if I had to bet. The priest must have used this to write out his word scrolls. I wonder if he made them or was a conduit of the gods in their construction. I’d have to get some ‘ink’ and try out writing one, see what happens.
Ryan burst out of his back room and quickly closed the door so I didn’t have a chance to see what he hid within.
“Let’s go,” he said gruffly. “Wear your patches.” He announced and walked out of the cabin without waiting.
“Ooookay.” I said and glanced at my companions. They were hustling to don whatever they had with the patch and follow him out.
“Don’t make him wait.” Halloway said to me seriously. I frowned. Their guild culture was to be afraid of the leaders’ tempers. That wasn’t a healthy situation. I took my time to stow the feather and put on my jacket. I made sure Pest was comfortably asleep within the rucksack and snuck out some coins from underneath him. I was the last one out and Ryan gave me a dirty look from the entrance of the tavern.
“When I say let’s go. We go.” He told me loudly. I frowned and stared at him.
“Got that?” He snapped after a short pause.
“Okay.” I said simply and kept my eyes locked on his. He glared at me like he wanted to shout some more, but just pulled the door open to the tavern and stormed inside.
“Jesus,” I muttered.
“Watch your step.” Halloway warned me. I didn’t respond as we all filed into the building.
They were not kidding when they said it was going to be full and busy. We were the last group into the tavern, and it was nearly bursting. If there wasn’t a reserved table with the Red Wolves emblem painted on its surface, I don’t think we would have gotten a seat. My guess was that Ryan paid for a standing reservation to the tavern.
The Toros were at their table, chatting and drinking and generally looking like they were having a good time. I shared a look with the quiet one and he gave me a friendly nod.
The Vinlanders were quietly simmering at their table in the corner. As Fat Pitbull saw me, bared his teeth and ran a finger across his throat. I smirked at him and pointed at my new Red Wolves patch. His scowl deepened.
The real ruckus came from a large group of tables pushed together. The tavern in that area was raised with a small wood railing ringing it like a fence, keeping it separate from the rest of the patrons. The big guilds held claim to it like their own personal kingdom.
The Krakens were easy to spot, they were all dressed like sailors. Loot must have been slightly themed towards what activity you did. I can’t imagine that the mix of seafarer clothing from different eras they wore were wholly intentionally chosen. Some had Victorian era pirate frock coats, much like mine, while others had dew rags and billowing shirts above short pants. One set of poor souls even had the cliché white sailor uniforms. They all sported a patch of a squid’s head with its legs splayed around and behind it. It resembled another logo I knew of.
“Hail Hydra!” I shouted at them and a few of them raised their mugs in salute. I grinned. This world was full of nerds, and it was awesome.
The final group was absolute chaos. Whereas my group looked like a classic, if oddly dressed, adventuring team. This group looked like a mash of raiders, bandits and soldiers. Maybe they would best be described as a pandemonium of mercenaries. Some were dressed as classic knights in shining armor, some had leather armor and robin hood hats. But the majority had mismatched sets of armor plates, leather pads with a variety of head gear. They didn’t seem to care about cosmetics in the least, if the armor piece fit and they had an open space, it went on.
They were drinking and yelling, challenging each other to games of strength and dexterity. I didn’t know many college party drinking games, but I’m pretty sure they were participating in a few of them. Multiple people were making bets on a duo of large armed men who were grunting and straining in an arm-wrestling match. One group of men were pretty much having a full wresting match while others cheered them on. It was complete chaos.
Ryan growled and shoved through the press of bodies that loitered at the base of the stairs that led up to the platform that house the big guilds. He plowed through like a bouncer on a dance floor trying to get to some rowdy drunks. We followed in his wake until we made it to our reserved table which set in the corner on the other side of the gaggle of hangers-on and all settled in. Halloway kept on his feet.
“The regular?” he asked the group at large.
Grunts and nods of approval answered his question. Only Mave being considerate enough to voice a “Yes, please.”
“What about you?” Halloway asked me.
“You suddenly a waitress?” I asked him.
“No, just trying to be nice, ass.” He quipped back. “If we wait for Karen we will get served sometime never.”
“I don’t even know what, just snag me whatever you normally get.” I answered after some consideration. “You need any help?”
“Nah. It’s all good,” he said and made his way to the bar. I saw a harried Karen rushing about with a few other people I didn’t know, trying to keep up with the demand.
“Damn, they were not kidding about this place being full!” I said, giving voice to my earlier thoughts when we entered.
“Yea, this place gets fun when everyone is in town.” Mave said with excitement.
“And loud.” Dark complained and tried to hide behind his hair better. Mave put a hand on his leg under the table in reassurance.
A loud outburst came from Raid consisting of cheers and groans in equal measure. One of the arm-wrestlers claimed victory and slapping hands congratulated him as they pounded him on the back. Money exchanged hands. I could tell at first look that Raid was a goon squad. One of those groups of people that loves rough-housing drinking and fighting. And if Halloway’s explanations were correct, raiding and pillaging too. They were try-hards of a different flavor. All you needed to fit in with them was to love fighting and partying.
There was a good mix of ethnicities and variation to them, but it was almost exclusively men. I think I spotted maybe two ladies in the group, and they seemed to be kicking ass at beer pong.
The Kraken’s on the alternative were about a half-and-half split of men and women. And I don’t mind a lady in a pirate corset at all. Some of them looked mighty fine. I wouldn’t mind seeing my wife in such an outfit. I took a moment to stew in the thought that I would not see her in any more outfits, unless she managed to die in a spectacularly specific and ridiculous set of circumstances. Thinking about it, it made me think most Chosen would end up being males. Women didn’t die in such spectacularly specific and ridiculous sets of circumstances the same way men seemed to. Most Darwin Award winners were men.
As I thought sad thoughts Halloway made his way back with two fistfuls of wooden mugs. He set them down on the table and spread them out to us. The mug placed in front of me wasn’t the mead I had last time. It was a light brown color and smelled like something sharply alcoholic. I took a sip, it wasn’t grand. It tasted of rotgut and toothpaste.
“What is this?” I asked Halloway.
“Moonshine and mint,” he answered.
“Nice,” I took another sip and pretended to enjoy it. Maybe if I drank enough of it, I would stop caring what it tastes like. That’s how I normally drank beer back home. It was a kind of funny thought that my immortal spirit linked to this fabricated avatar body controlled by various numbers and a brokenish System could get drunk.
“I’m starving!” Mave announced loudly. “How long Hal?”
“Karen said a little bit. She is working though a big backlog of orders.” He answered her.
“I kinda assumed she just had a big pot of stew or something in the back and filled bowls as needed.” I said.
“Normally she does, but on nights like this, it gets too busy for the Sisters to keep up.” Holloway said after a drink from his mug.
“Sisters? I didn’t know people could make it through with their siblings. She’s lucky.” I looked over to the bar again, watching them work.
“They aren’t actually sisters, they are a clan.” Halloway said.
“A secret clan.” Mave stage whispered at me. Halloway chuckled.
“Not quite a secret,” he said, “Just not officially part of the hand. They mostly own and run this fort. I guess they are the ones who got the land from Uhtred and started this whole operation. Karen, Marcus, Vikky, and a few others.”
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
“They are a clan and not a guild?” I asked picking up on the differing term.
“Yea, there is a difference. Guilds are more a business cooperative, clans are families.” Halloway explained.
“Interesting, but I didn’t take Marcus for the sister sort.” I said as I imagined the stout fellow in an oversized sun dress.
“Nah, he just came later, after the group was named.” Halloway said with a grin. “I think Vikky started the whole thing. She is usually in the kitchen, doesn’t come out much. But fits the mother bear persona well. Loves to feed people and take in strays. The others, behind the bar…”
I tried to take in the others at the bar, but the press of bodies made it hard to see. I caught sight of a woman, somewhat homely looking and a thin man. Both looked like they wouldn’t do well in the rugged local atmosphere. Thin and sallow. I wonder where they put their stat points to have that look.
“Well… she collected them and started her own little orphanage of wayward people. Calls it Sisters of Helping Hands.”
“A little on the nose… Or should I say on the hand…” I said while giving him a look.
“I didn’t name it,” he said with raised hands of his own. “There are a couple more of them. Young ones.”
“How young?” I thought dark thoughts, this wasn’t a place children would excel.
“I think the youngest is sixteen. I haven’t seen any Chosen younger than that yet.” Halloway said, probably thinking the same thing.
“Oh ‘dito, can you imagine children here?” Mave put in. “So sad to die so young.”
“You all are young.” Ryan gruffly interrupted. “Go get me another.” He ordered and slammed down an empty mug.
“Yes boss,” Halloway went to stand, I put a hand on his arm.
“You forgot something.” I said.
“What?” Halloway asked.
“Not you,” I pointed at Ryan, whom I was glaring at.
“You forgot something, boss.” I said with a little venom.
“What are you at, boy?” he responded with an edge of his own.
“When you ask a companion for a favor you say ‘please’.” I was staring him in the eyes as I said it. This guy was such a dick.
“Why you lit…” he was interrupted as Karen and the thin man carved through the crowd with a heaped platter of food.
They put down a large stone platter of roasted meats and vegetables. The meats varied from some white bits of something to a nice looking roasted beef steak. The white bits turned my stomach a little, reminding me of my visit from the dark elf. A large white-meat fish filleted down the middle formed a division down the plate, separating the meat from some vegetables. The veggies consisted of a huge portion of sautéed cabbage mixed with leeks and onions. The skinny fellow put down a woven basket that was filled with rounds of bread and a stack of wooden plates. The bread was round, flat, and thick. It looked more like a tortilla than a round of fluffy loaf I was used too. I frowned slightly as I stared at the meat that threatened to ruin my appetite. I wasn’t going to take any chances. Inspect.
Name: Meat
Species: Rabbit
FLAGS: NOURISHMENT
I let out a breath of relief and took a drink from my mug, I winced finding it still tasted horrid. I Inspected it to, to make sure Halloway wasn’t trying to poison me.
Name: Mug
Material: Wood
Durability: Average
Value: Average
FLAGS: DURABLE
Contents: Water, Honey Mead, Flora – Mint Leaf, Moonshine
Contents Flags: NOURISHMENT, ALCOHOLIC
Contents Efficacy: Average
Seemed on the board. As I looked back up, Ryan was glaring at me still. I raised an eyebrow at him.
“May I please have another?” he said as he waved his empty mug at a retreating Karen. She waved a hand in the air in recognition of hearing him. “And put it all on my tab.”
The way he said it, I knew he meant it as a wired flex of his authority. I gave him a small nod and saluted him with my drink. His glare intensified.
“Let’s eat!” Halloway announced, and before I knew it, I had a piece of bread in my mouth and was munching away.
I nearly choked in irritation.
“What the hell is your Charisma score?” I demanded from him.
“Good,” he said with a smirk and grabbed a shank of something to eat. I glared at Halloway, much as Ryan had been glaring at me, but he just smiled back. I glanced at Ryan who was stuffing his face and glowering at me. Yea, I see you dick burger. I thought to myself as I snagged a plate and loaded it with veggies and meats. Specifically avoiding the white-meat rabbit. I took a few flakes of fish as well. I enjoyed fish.
Dinner was a quiet affair at our table, the mood being darkened by Ryan’s hostility and my pushing the limits. But the other tables made enough noise for us. Halloway and Ryan focused on eating, Mave and Dark doing cutesy little couple things as they ate. I was a lonely island. I looked around the room. The Vinlanders kept glancing towards me with dirty looks and a few Toros would catch my eye and give a nod. Luckily the Vinlanders table was on the other end of the raised platform that Kraken and Raid held. The group of fanboys at the bottom of their stairs helped further by creating a wall of bodies to better separate us. Kraken and Raid intermingled with each other in their games and boisterous behavior but ignored the rest of the tavern for the most part.
Karen came by a few times and kept our drinks full, she never said a word to break our solemn behavior. I finished my meal, and a few of the mugs of drink. Eating took longer than normal, as all I had to use for a utensil was my utility knife. The others seemed to have a fork that they smartly brought with them and their own knives to work with. I’d have to make a market run for some basics. My cheeks felt flushed, and I knew that the alcohol had touched on my low tolerance. I got up from my chair, feeling a little light and bouncy.
“I’m good.” I said to nobody in particular and tugged on my jacket lapels to straighten it out. Don’t know why I was wearing it, damn thing was warm. What we do for fashion, aye? I thought with a frown. That sounded like something Loki would say.
I walked over to the stairway that led up to the platform and weaved between the fan boys, they seemed to make less of a barrier then I had thought. I wanted to visit the Kraken people. I loved pirates. They were cool as shit. I carefully ascended the handful of stairs and came to a stop at the top. The party seemed to be winding down as it was a lot quieter all the sudden. That was fine, I was never a real big party guy.
I picked a Kraken at random and tapped him on the shoulder. Damn, he was strong. It felt like poking a wall. I poked harder, frowning as my finger didn’t find any give.
“The hell are you made of?” I asked the solid sailor. I squinted at him. He didn’t look like a stone golem. Why was he ignoring me? “Hey! I wanna ask you about your booty!”
I frowned as someone laughed.
“No, that didn’t come out right.” I frowned again. “I want to know about your loot. And sailing! And piracy!”
I waited patiently for the answers, but they never came.
I blinked at him.
“Mother father, why are you ignoring me?” I stared at him. He wasn’t moving. As a matter of fact, as I squinted around at the group. None of them were moving. A wooden ball, being used in a game of beer pong was floating in the air. Beer pong was a game I knew about, but never played. As far as I knew, one would make a triangle shape of cups on your side and your opponents. You’d toss the ball and if it landed in the opponent’s cup, they would have to drink it. They would toss it back with the same goal in mind. Repeat until too drunk to play or your opponent was out of cups. I thought the whole endeavor quite unsanitary. Since they lacked the classic red disposable party cup, they used wooden mugs. I walked up to the ball and curiously and poked it. It didn’t move.
I glowered at the ball, the pieces finally clicking into place.
“You son of a bitch.” I told the ball.
“You had better not be talking about me,” a familiar and arrogant voice said from behind me. I turned around to see my one and only benefactor, Loki.
“I was talking to the ball,” I gesticulated wildly at it.
“Of course you were, we will not insinuate anything otherwise,” Loki said with a smile. “Are you drunk Alpha Tester Viktor?”
“No. I don’t drink,” I told him and tugged on my lapels. “Much.” I followed up with a glance at my table, where at least two and a half empty mugs sat after I vacated my spot.
“Silly mortals, can’t hold their booze,” he laughed at me.
“You want some?” I asked and tried to pry a mug up from the beer pong table. It refused to budge so I put a foot on the edge of the table and reefed for all I was worth. Loki snapped his fingers and the mug came loose, causing me to fly back and slam into a sailor who was spectating the game. He didn’t move either, so I rebounded off of him and fell into a heap on the floor laying in a pool of spilled mead.
“Are you quite done?” Loki asked me.
“Try to get a guy a drink, and all he does is give you shit.” I muttered as I stood up, trying to brush the wet out of my soiled coat.
“And I quite appreciate the gesture.” Loki said with a little more seriousness than he probably meant to show.
I grinned at him.
“You wanna be my friend!” I loudly announced. “Awwww!”
“Come here buddy!” I approached him with wide open arms. “Give me some love.”
He snapped his fingers again and I found myself frozen in my bear hug stance. I would have frowned if I could have.
‘Not cool, bro.’ I said to him, my head was clearer then it had been a moment ago. My happy buzz gone.
“I told you, no touching,” he said. “Now, about your newest reports. Let us see…” He pulled out three little sheets of memo paper from his pocket. “Grammar issue.” He tossed that one to the side without further comment. The tiny paper evaporated as had the last set I seen him do this trick with.
‘Hey! Grammar is important.’ I told him.
“Then why is yours so atrocious?” He asked me.
‘’cause.’ I said.
“Regicide on a spider?” his eyebrow raised.
‘Yea, killed a spider in a dungeon, got regicide. Didn’t seem very regal to me.’ I answered.
“Indeed, I will have to look into that.” He looked me over, “as a prize you can keep the misappropriated achievement.”
‘Woot,’ I said unenthusiastically.
“Dungeon negative one of one?” He questioned.
‘Yea,’ I took a moment to explain to him how I had invaded a dungeon through my ‘backdoor’ and killed the boss before I was even in a guild.
“Well, that is not supposed to happen. The dungeons should only be openable by a group, that is the point. Group dynamics. The fact that you bumbled into one, dug into the treasure chamber and solo killed the dungeons guardian are all red flags. I would say good job, but I am quite irked you circumvented my beautiful creations so well.” He said with an annoyed look. “You can keep your ill-gotten goods. But again. I am not giving you anything.”
‘Dude!’ I complained. ‘Not cool, Mr. Benefactor.’
“Please, you are the only one with a benefactor so far, so stop complaining, or do I need to remove your transportation?” He threatened.
‘No! I like Finley!’ I said. ‘She is a good horse, strong and fearless!’
“Indeed. She is. You can bet on it.” He said with a little pride.
‘Bet!’ His words triggered my memory, ‘You owe me something! For surviving and making it to civilization!’
“Ah!” He exclaimed and raised a finger. “But did you entertain me?”
‘I totally did.’ I said.
“You think so?” he countered.
‘You were laughing at me just now!’
“Fine, you are mildly entertaining. A fitting reward shall be yours.” I saw him ponder for a moment and then snap his fingers. A small slip of paper was in his hand, it looked like his little memo sheets. I failed to frown again. That was anti-climactic. I didn’t say anything as he slipped it into the pocket on my jacket. I noticed he didn’t touch me with the action, just left it partially poking out.
“That should do,” he said. “Keep up the…. Work,” he finished lamely and snapped his fingers. The unpause hit me like a freight train. I didn’t fall to the ground this time, but I staggered with dizziness. I weaved and wobbled until I had a grip on the railing of the platform that the Krakens occupied. Then I puked. My entire dinner and two and a half mugs worth of Halloway’s special cocktail came gushing out of me in an uncontrollable geyser. The last time I had puked that bad it was because of a norovirus right after I ate onions stuffed with cream cheese laced rice.
And it all landed on the table of a Vinlanders. The jet of detritus hit the center of the table and fanned out in a spraying across all thier drinks and food with a decent amount of the vile fluid dousing their bodies as well. If I wasn’t struggling with vertigo and nausea, I might have laughed. But instead, I just spit up more bile and coughed and gagged.
[Achievement Unlocked – Splash Damage]
[You have successfully hit five enemies at the same time from a single attack.]
[Splash Damage - Benefit] +5% increase to damage caused by splash damage.
The entire room behind me erupted in crazed laughter. The Vinlanders paused for the briefest moment in shock before all five of them jumped up and charged towards me.
“You god damn son of a bitch!” Fat Pitbull yelled, “We are gonna gut you!”
“Sorry, my bad,” I got out between some retching.
Will Bill and Bill Will both tried to grab at me over the fence, their arms about level with my waist with the low rise of the platform. I back-peddled still sputtering and ran into Krakens who were laughing and overjoyed at the spectacle. I struggled to cut through them as many congratulated me on my aim and choice of target. Just before I got to the stairs Halloway found me in the crowd.
“What the hell did you do? What is wrong with your face?” He demanded, not looking any worse the wear for the booze he drank.
“Puked,” I said with a burp.
“Ugh, god,” he covered his face with a hand and winced. “I looked away for one second and you were gone.” He complained like an old wife.
“Don’t feel good.” I got out and hunched over, hands on my knees. A friendly Kraken slapped me on the back in reassurance. I heaved again but nothing came out this time.
“Jesus,” Halloway complained and quickly stepped back. “Don’t puke on my boots.”
Shouting behind him made us both look up. Vinlanders were at the bottom of the stairs yelling at two large men who were blocking their path.
“Puked,” I gulped in a breath to keep my bile down. “Puked on them.”
“Shit.” Halloway said and I nodded in agreement. “Let’s go out the back.”
He led me through the groups of party goes, a few more Kraken congratulating me on a fantastic show, and to a door that was on their side of the tavern. We slipped out of the building without any resistance. It was definitely the back door, large bins filled with debris and trash next to them. A young woman dumping a bucket of yuck into one of them before heading back into another door that was wide open. A peek inside showed it to be the kitchen behind the bar. People inside rushing about and cooking up a storm.
The smell wafting off the bins made my stomach roil and I gestured to Halloway to get on with it, trying to cover my nose and mouth.
Halloway led me over to the summer camp cabins for the Kraken and Raid groups. Thiers were bigger than ours, more the size of an army barracks than a cabin. There was just enough space between them to slip through and come back out on our side of things. We slipped into our cabin with minimal fuss. I shoved my picnic basket and random purchases to the side and flopped onto my bunk.
“I got an achievement.” I groaned from my bed.
“Bullshit, what did you get?” Halloway asked me.
“Splash damage.” I answered. And he started laughing, before long I joined him.
A loud pounding at the door broke our mirth.
“I can hear you fuckers! Get out here right now!” Fat Pitbull shouted from the other side of our door.
“I got this,” Halloway said and went to the door. I didn’t even pretend to get up to help.
He opened the door and the beet red pissed off skin head stood on the other side of the doorframe.
“Get out here you little fuck and let’s settle this like men!” He shouted in a cliché redneck challenge.
“Not tonight.” Halloway said, and I felt weight from his words. Yea, not tonight.
“I’ll come in there and drag you out!” Fat Pitbull yelled at me, trying to see past and ignore Halloway.
“You can’t come in. You know the rules. No passing thresholds unless you are invited.” Halloway told him smoothly. Yea, gotta follow the rules. I thought. I frowned. I never think about following the rules.
“Only if I get caught.” Fat Pitbull started eyeing Halloway menacingly. “And there is only two of you and five of us.” He gestured to the rest of the gang behind him.
“But there is twenty of them.” Halloway said and pointed to a Raider who was leaning against the tavern having a smoke. “Why don’t you go on home now?” Halloway asked politely. Yea, I’ll go home. Oh, wait, I already am. I thought to myself.
“This isn’t over.” Fat Pitbull grumbled and walked away, and Halloway closed the door before walking over to his own bunk.
“Better drink some water, lightweight,” he said to me.
“Fuck you and the mother that bore you.” I told him politely and took the effort to fish my little flask out of my pocket. Loki’s reward paper fell out onto the bunk as I took a timid sip from the flask. I brought it up and looked it over. It was a small piece of his memo paper with three English letters written on it. I. O. U.
“Mother fucker.” I muttered.