The screens fell away, and I was compelled to walk forward. The hallway finally showed a light at the end. It advanced quickly, faster than it should have when compared to my stride. Soon I was drenched in bright light, blinding my eyes before it began to clear. Once my footsteps were under my control again, I staggered, shielding my eyes while they adjusted to the light. I took a step back and stumbled forward, bouncing up against a hard surface.

Looking behind me, the tunnel was gone, replaced with a wall. The wall was a distorted image, painted like a distant forest. It was a skybox I realized. The edge of a game’s visual limits. It was smooth to the touch and looking up I could just see the seams as the wall piece became a sky piece that was painted blue. Being a god, I can’t imagine Loki didn’t intend it to look this way. Purposely giving the floor's edge a video game-like border. I turned around and took in the sights of this first floor.

It was a forest of ash trees as far as I could see, which seeing as it started about ten feet ahead of me, wasn’t very far. There was a clear border space following the edge of the wall, but beyond that, it was all trees. They weren’t very tall, as far as trees in my experience went. But they were tall enough to create an unreachable canopy above, blocking out sunrays and creating an artificial roof above me. The foliage below the trees was sparse and traversable, almost inviting me to come in and look around. I could spot some berry bushes of undetermined fruits, I wasn’t an expert outdoorsman, but I thought they might be raspberries.

Looking down I noticed my outfit had changed. Something plain and basic, looking like it belonged to a peasant at a Renaissance fair. Some linen pants that tied tight at the calves, a pair of basic-looking rope and leather sandals, and a linen shirt with a deep V-neck that could be cinched closed. A belt held my pants up, but it had no buckle, rather a ring it went through and then tied a knot to hold it secure. As I tugged at the strange belt, I was happily aware that at least the rustic-looking clothing was comfortable, not itchy or chafing as of yet. The best of everything though was the rucksack I wore. I unslung it and found the leather and straps of the bag to be well-made of good materials. No cheap internet resale here. A small runic symbol that looked like a tree was engraved onto the flap, the tree of life. I could never remember its name.

Opening it I found it prepacked with a skin of liquid, sniffing at it revealed probable water. Some small hard-packed bars wrapped in waxed parchment, must be some equivalent of ancient granola bars. And some dried meats, ye olde jerky. The last item was a small knife in a sheath, pulling it out the blade glittered in a rainbow pattern. It was something fancy I knew. Damascus steel or something like that. I could just barely recall a documentary about Vikings, claiming that much of their success was due to their superior blades that were traded for or given to them. Something like that. After a few minutes of fiddling with my new/old style of belt, I got the knife to sit comfortably at my hip and packed the bag back up. Looking into the forest, I guess it was time to wander aimlessly until I found a tavern, like a good starting adventurer.

As I wandered through the underbrush, I sampled some berries. I was pretty solid on the idea that they were raspberries and they tasted good, so I figured I would be fine. I couldn’t collect any, because the thought of turning my rucksack into a squished raspberry jam bag grossed me out. I’d have to find a container of some sort if I wanted to be a berry harvester. Though in my later years of life I became a suburb/city sort of guy, I grew up in the country. Just far enough out of town that we couldn’t get tv reception and the best things to do usually involved getting lost in the woods Wandering around aimlessly in the woods didn’t bother me. I had a vague sense of direction, which I was calling away-from-wall in my head, to go. I wandered that way.

Along the way, I collected a nice sturdy walking stick, which could double as a fighting stick if I found any more dastardly raccoon invaders. But alas, the enemy, wasn’t around. Actually, now that I thought about it, not much was around at all. I stopped and quietly waited and opened myself up to take in any sounds around me. Nothing but the slight breeze through the bushes.

“Where the fuck are all the animals?” I broke the silence with my question.

“Hey, Loki! You forgot the damn birds and squirrels and shit! This forest is devoid of life!” I shouted. Nothing responded. With a smirk and a shake of my head, I continued my journey. Arrogant ass solo developer who forgot his little woodland creatures. Maybe his Kickstarter didn’t reach its stretch goal. I snorted at my own nerd joke. I wonder if it will be a DLC.

After some time, I grew wary. It felt like hours of walking through the forest, and I didn’t think I was going in circles. How damn big was this tower floor anyway? Thinking about how big it seemed from the outside, I guess it was BIG, with capital letters and all. As I walked, I started to think about all the LITRPG books I had read and listened to over the years. If this is modeled after those, and governed by a hideously colored blue box System, I should have options available to me. I started going over all the command words that might trigger things for me.

“Inventory,” revealed nothing useful. “Equipment, Items,” also had no joy.

“Status,” brought up the character sheet I had seen at the end of character creation, so I knew that I was barking up the right tree with my idea. “Map, Help, Tell, Talk, Message,” Brought up nothing as well.

“Report,” triggered a blue slide-down box.

[Would you like to report an issue?]

[Misuse of this feature could result in administrative actions.]

“Hell yes! There are no goddamn woodland critters prancing around the woodlands!” I shouted at it. I was more interested in yelling at the System than actually interested in reporting an issue. Text filled in, speech-to-text-like. And I thought a confirmation at it. Doing that, I realized that I had willed ‘yes’ at it successfully a few times, without even realizing it. Especially when I was creating a character, I manipulated numbers and confirmations with just my mind, does that mean I didn’t need voice commands at all? I experimented with Status, and Report, again confirming my thoughts. While busy with my thoughts and stepping around a tree I accidentally tripped over a high root, face-planting quite successfully.

[You have taken Fall Damage.]

A helpful little box lowered into my vision. Grumbling, I leaned against the tree and brushed my face off, right at eye height a tree limb poked me in the face.

“God dammit,” I cursed and broke the limb off, it came away quite a bit easier than I anticipated and I glared at it. It was a funny limb, very straight with a point on one end and three leaves coming out of its shaft-like fins on the other end. A funny limb indeed. Oh.

I quickly swiveled my head around, seeing nothing but the forest. A faint sound of leather slapping and another arrow blossomed from the tree I was leaning against. Oh. Oh, dear. I thought for a brief moment before flight took over and I started running like a chicken from the axe man. “Fuck you, you fucking fuck!” I screamed like a deranged person as I bolted away from the tree. After about 20 steps of blind terror, a plant monster stepped from behind a tree immediately into my path, not reacting fast enough I slammed right into him and careened off to crash in a heap into a nice big bramble.

[You have taken Fall Damage.]

Cursing violently some more, I scrambled my way to my feet and ripped myself out of the brambles. The thorns latched onto me and tore at my arms and legs.

[You have taken Environmental Damage.]

The monster was hunched up on the ground, not moving. My trusty walking stick was between me and him, so I snatched it up and violently smashed the monster in the head with it. Leaves burst out of the thick tangle of bush that made up its hair/ Nothing else happened, other than a very satisfying thunk noise. As I panted and stared at the monster certain things came into focus. The creature was humanoid, around my size, and a quiver on its hip spilled its contents in a haphazard arc. A bow was discarded an arm's length away. After another ineffective hit to the back of its head, I used my stick to lever it over. It slumped over onto its back, some of the arrows bending and splintering as the weight of the creature bent them at awkward angles. A knife, much like my own, was hilt deep into its chest. Its eyes stared out at me. You did this. It seemed to impart to me.

“Yea, well you deserved it,” I muttered at their silent acquisition. The twig mask had let loose on one side and was showing the dirty unshaven masculine face of a 40-year-old, if I had to guess, man. I grabbed the knife, and it slid out with a little bit of twist and torque. Blood oozed out slowly, not squirting with the power of life, but flowing freely from a wound not quite congealed. I stared at it for a good moment. Spoils of war. I supposed. Ripping and pulling at his weird attire revealed some very roughly made plant clothes. The stench that rose up from them was putrid. From the release of fluids from his death or just his natural odor I don’t know, but it was too much for me to investigate very far. After pillaging his corpse as much as I could, I came away with the knife and sheath, an extra belt, the quiver with about 7 arrows, a pair of plant boots, and his bow.

I wiped the knife clean on some moss I ripped up and stowed it with the extra knife and sheath into my rucksack. The quiver I attached to a hip, and I fiddled with the bow. I knew how a bow and arrow works, but besides a few boy scout camps and odd fair events, had I ever used one? Nope. The boots looked like they might fit but stank of death. Maybe if I could find a stream or something, I could wash them out. The way he made them intrigued me, it was a combination of some bark-like rope, long grass, and sticks. It reminded me of a straw hat or basket, but with improper materials. I used the extra belt to affix the boots to the exterior of my rucksack. God knows I didn’t want to marinade my travel rations in ruffian foot sweat.

A mellow blue, the hideous color of screens, blink was nagging my attention from the lower right of my vision. I mentally pressed it and a half screen popped up to block my vision.

[Congratulations! You have won your first fight!]

It then proceeded with a play-by-play of the ‘fight.’

[You have tripped, you have taken a small amount of Fall Damage!]

[Unknown Ruffian’s sneak attack misses!]

[Unknown Ruffian’s sneak attack misses!]

[Your Bullrush Attack succeeds! You stagger Unknown Ruffian!]

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Bullrush skill!]

[Unknown Ruffian Critically Fumbles Block, Critical Piercing Damage to Unknown Ruffian!]

[Unknown Ruffian falls in glorious battle to Viktor!]

[You have tripped, you have taken a small amount of Fall Damage!]

[You got snared in some brambles, you have taken a small amount of Environmental Damage!]

[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian. Ineffective.]

[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian. Ineffective.]

I gained a skill! Doing a thing would unlock a skill! Sweet. I was going to do all the things! I focused on the skill to see what I was in store for.

[Bullrush]

Unlock Conditions - Run into someone while running at full speed.

[lvl 1] - Causes the target to fumble an action or take damage depending on the situation.

[lvl 3] - Causes the target to fumble an action and take damage regardless of the situation.

[lvl 6] - Causes the target to fumble an action, take damage, and become disoriented afterward.

[lvl 9] - Causes the target to be launched back, take damage, and be knocked prone for some time. RAGDOLL!

My Alpha Tester title kicked in again, revealing the future of the skill. Very handy trick, that title.

I waved the screens away, very pleased with myself. Catching a whiff of the ruffian in the air, I decided to move on.

I trudged along a game path I had found, funny that there is a game path, but no damn game, in this game. It’s okay, it would probably just taste gamey. I giggled at my own foolish monologue. If someone wasn’t going to appreciate it, I would. I fished out my water skin and emptied about half of it. Water skins didn’t seem to hold much, so I decided and chewed on some granola and jerky, sweetened with whatever random berry I came across. It reminded me a little of the summer day’s out I would take with my family on occasion.

As I have alluded, I acclimated to indoor life quite well, however, my wife had other plans when the spring fever took hold. We investigated every day hike, trail, and park without 4 hours driving distance of our home. And funnily enough, these odd ration bars reminded me of her favorite honey and oat granola bars. I had a small smile about it before reality forced it away. I stowed my crumbs and continued on with my wandering. As if sensing the mood, the day started to dim, slowly getting dark. This caused a little anxiety in me being in the darkening forest, I knew the forest lacked critters, but it did not lack danger. I needed somewhere to shelter for the night. I started looking into the trees, hoping to find a good arrangement of limbs to perch on through the night.

The sky was distinctly darker now, and it was getting harder to see even a little bit up into the trees. I mentally berated myself for not starting to find shelter sooner. Just when I was on my fifteenth chant of ‘You’re a stupid dead fucker, a stupid dead fucker, which nobody can deny!’ I saw something. A big chunk of black was spanning between a cluster of trees, squinting at it made me think of a hunting blind. I stopped and stared at it for a moment, no noises or motions were in the immediate area. I waited a little longer, nighttime finally coming in full. Then I waited even a little longer, hoping I could see better with whatever paltry moonlight decided to penetrate the tree canopy. Unfortunately, not so. Grumbling my chant to myself a few more times, I approached one of the trees that was supporting the structure.

It was made of limbs and sticks woven together in a boxy nest. For a moment I was concerned it was a giant nest, but it seemed way too squared off to have been made by an animal or creature. No, this was a human construction, no appreciation taken for the natural shape of things, rather being shaped to fit our will instead.

On the third support tree, I found some wooden pegs and limbs affixed in a pseudo-ladder. Going slowly, as I couldn't see too well, I climbed the construction. Definitely not as solid as some janky redneck tree houses, I had been in, but I sure hope it would do for a night or two. The floor came level to my face, and I let out a gag. Oh, I know who owned this shit hole. The stench was the same as the boots hanging from the back of my rucksack.

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

There was a small platform with a simple lean-to roof, closed on three sides leaving only the entrance side open. I crawled in and winced as the floor beams shifted under my weight. The stench of his bed was horrible. More plant weave material that had been laid out for padding and used as bedding. I didn’t even want to touch it, so I scooched into one of the corner edges of the platform, knocking around various unseeable bric-a-brac, and punched a small hole into the wall for a stream of fresh air. And that was it. My first day in Loki’s Tower was done. I was so done. I didn’t even have time to worry if the bedding next to me was full of fleas and scabies or something. I was tired. I needed like, three days, of sleep and I was out like a light.

The cursed blue-pigmented bastard of a System had other ideas for me. At what I can only guess is the ass-crack of pre-dawn an unblockable flash of brilliant blue box scoured across my vision. I swear it physically hurt. I know it did mentally.

[Congratulations! You survived the night! Welcome to a new day in the afterlife. As with all Norse afterlives, you spent all day fighting, pillaging, and plundering. Some lived, and some died. But all those lives lost are returned, to pillage and plunder again until the Ragnarok decides to come and create the cycle again.]

I cursed aloud at the blue message and rubbed my palms into my eye sockets. The white lines of text were still engraved in my vision. I. Fucking. Hate. Jum…

“Argh!” I yelled as a hard strike took me in a kidney.

[You have taken Blunt Damage.]

“The fuc…” I got out before another one hit me, and I saw a feral grin on a dead man.

[You have taken Blunt Damage.]

Floated down into my vision again. The goddamn Ruffian was back, and he was kicking the shit out of me. ‘All those lives lost are returned.’ Did that mean when we died here, we came back with the new day?

[You have taken Blunt Damage.]

“Argh!” Didn’t have time to dwell on that now. Having a much older brother, I knew how to counter. As he kicked me again.

[You have taken Blunt Damage.]

I grabbed onto his leg with both my arms and rolled into him before he had a chance to kick at me again. I couldn't roll far though, as the platform was as wide as a twin bed. And the fall immediately after was definitely higher than the fall from the top of a bed. Even a bunk bed.

[You have taken Fall Damage.]

I coughed and screamed at the same time, luckily with a knowing crunch of pops the smelly ruffian had broken my fall. I have broken limbs and ligaments in my life. I knew the noise. Even movies or shows that emulated the noise made me shiver. At that moment it made me go cold with fear and I sprang up to my feet with an adrenaline surge. After a quick shakedown, I felt okay, definitely some pain, but everything seemed to function as it should. I never wanted to break a bone or ligament again. The ruffian on the other hand looked a little worse for wear, he landed in a pile of angry large roots, breaking my fall with his midsection. I screamed at him incoherently as I danced around like a crazed gorilla.

“What the hell man?! What the fucking hell?!” I screamed near enough to words that I think they counted. His woven plant clothing had burst open, exposing his deformed body and pale skin. There weren’t many abrasions or cuts, but the quick and scary bruising revealed internal injuries. Mixed with the sounds of breaking cereal he made when we landed, I quickly surmised in the most medical of opinion, he was fucked.

“Why the balls did you try to kill me?! Twice!” I got out, much more intelligibly.

“Heh,” his eyes were set on me, the pain in them revealing all the whites. Whale-eyed, you’d call it in a terrified animal. “I… hungry…” He ground out in coughing gravel tones.

“Hungry?! I could have shared!” I said gesturing at my rucksack, which had made the trip down with me. The quiver did as well, but the arrows were scattered around us like some ritualistic tableau.

“Hungry… for meat… Longpig.” He got out, stretching the word longpig like it meant more to him than any other word in the language. Then he giggled. A raspy dark and bloody giggle. Longpig. Me? He wanted to eat me?! I went red, fuck this cannibal guy! I kicked him in the head. Once, Twice, maybe a few more times than thrice. By the time I was done, I remembered I was kicking him with sandals, and my fucking foot hurt. I decided to sit down and have a nice stress relieving, not hysterical at all, scream. I opened up the persistent blue blinking post-action report notification.

[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal kicks you! You have taken a small amount of blunt damage.]

[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal kicks you! You have taken a small amount of blunt damage.]

[You have successfully Grappled onto Unknown Ruffian Cannibal!]

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Grapple skill!]

[You have successfully Powerslammed Unknown Ruffian Cannibal!]

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Powerslam skill!]

[You kick Unknown Ruffian Cannibal, a small amount of blunt damage to Unknown Ruffian Cannibal.]

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Kick skill!]

[You kick Unknown Ruffian Cannibal, a small amount of blunt damage to Unknown Ruffian Cannibal.]

[Unknown Ruffian Cannibal falls in glorious battle to Viktor!]

[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]

[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]

[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Corpse Desecration skill!]

[You attack the corpse of Unknown Ruffian Cannibal. Ineffective.]

Firstly, it was interesting how the name had adjusted, obviously, he wasn’t just some NPC the System had given a generic name. It was another… player… for lack of a better term at the moment, that the System was using my thoughts to come up with an identifier. Did that mean if I ever knew the freak's name, it would use that name instead? Maybe.

Secondly! Skills!

[Grapple]

Unlock Conditions - Grab someone like you mean it and do not let go.

[lvl 1] - Latch onto someone, requiring them or someone else to use force to remove you.

[lvl 3] - Latch onto someone requiring someone else to use force to remove you.

[lvl 6] - Latch onto someone requiring someone else to use force to remove you, even if you fall unconscious.

[lvl 9] - Latch onto someone and never let go if you don’t want to. MY PRECIOUS!

Nine levels again. Seems like nine was an important number to this System set up.

[Powerslam]

Unlock Conditions - Praise be to the glorious wrestling warriors that came before you and powerslam someone into the ground.

[lvl 1] - Smash someone into the ground after a successful grapple.

[lvl 3] - Smash someone into the ground regardless of grapple technique.

[lvl 6] - Smash someone into the ground so hard that they leave a divot regardless of grapple technique.

[lvl 9] - Smash someone into the ground so hard that they leave a divot regardless of grapple technique and take no damage to yourself while doing it. JUST BRING IT!

[Kick]

Unlock Conditions - Kick someone.

[lvl 1] - Do a small amount of damage kicking someone.

[lvl 3] - Do a moderate amount of damage kicking someone.

[lvl 6] - Do a large amount of damage kicking someone.

[lvl 9] - Do a large amount of damage kicking someone, triple that damage if they are being kicked off of something. THIS IS SPARTA!

[Corpse Desecration]

Unlock Conditions - For some reason, a dead body was beaten up. More than once!

[lvl 1] - Extra damage to corpses.

[lvl 3] - Extra damage to corpses, to such an extent it frightens people who see the corpse.

[lvl 6] - Extra damage to corpses, to such an extent it makes people flee from the effigy.

[lvl 9] - Extra damage to corpses, to such an extent it makes people flee from the effigy and the previous owner of the corpse may reinhabit it to get vengeance. VENGEFUL SPIRITS CANNOT BE SOOTHED.

Grapple, Powerslam, and Kick. I was becoming an unintentional rugby player or WWE star. Might need to stop running into people. Literally. Corpse Desecration… What can I say other than oops… and eww?

The level nine skills were interesting. It seemed like things hit a whole new level, at that point. Ha. Dad Joke. I gave myself a smile and self-congratulations for that one. But anyway. The final level of skills were impressive, and I could see a way they could be manipulated for some very awesome effects.

I let out a huff and went back to reviewing my location. It was very early dawn, small light was filtering in. Birds and critters SHOULD be singing, but it was dead quiet except for my own breathing. Looking at the body of the cannibal. I wondered if he wanted meat so badly because of the lack of animals to hunt, and how long he had to have been here for it to be so. He did look thin and gaunt like he was malnourished. His gear was in the same condition that I had left him in the last time we interacted. Respawning apparently brought your items back with you, providing some individuals didn't relieve you of some of it while you waited.

I decided to skip seeing if he had any more loot and collected up the arrows. One more had broken underneath him, but the other six were fine. I went back into the overhang and rooted around. I violently tossed his smelly bedding out the front. The smell plume it left made me gag a few times before I went rooting around the rest of his little fort. I found a rucksack just like mine but with much more wear and tear. Its bottom had rotted or ripped out. I decided to leave it, not knowing how to make use of it or pack it up without filling my rucksack. It hurt my little pillaging heart.

He didn’t have a whole lot of other items, but I snagged all the useful things I could recognize. A few bundles of rough twine. Various stones, one was a flint that would spark when the knife was dragged across it, and another was a whetstone to fix the knife after using it on the flint. Some of the stones were chipped and shaped into sharp tool heads. Maybe a spear or dagger head with a couple of bulky wedges that tapered to decent cutting edges.

Climbing down and giving the base a closer inspection, I found a completed hand axe. Twine and bark strips had been used to combine a shaped stone with a stick. It didn’t look impressive, but apparently, it allowed him to cut some kindling and small trees down for his little construction project. A selection of dried berries and plants were racked out above the inert fire. After a sudden flash of inspiration, I reclaimed the broken rucksack and started to pick it apart at the stitching.

The flashing blue notification light began to signal me, but I ignored it for now. Maybe it was about to tell me I damaged my finger on one of the stitches that I slipped on and gave myself slashing damage with my knife. After adding some new holes and thinning the rucksack's shoulder straps into cords, I made myself a serviceable drawstring leather bag. I filled it with the berries and plants and hung it from my belt, the extra scraps of leather I stuffed into my rucksack. Mwahahaha! I am a master crafter and inventor! This world will fall before my ingenuity and clever creations!

All that was left was the shack, his bedding, and body. I had the urge to burn it all, body included, but decided it was more trouble than it was worth, and my crafting time had made me use too much of my morning anyway. It would be best to get as far away from here as I could before tomorrow brings this delightful fellow back into my life. Finally caving in to the nagging little light, I hit the blue so-and-so.

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Deconstruct skill!]

[Congratulations. You have unlocked the Leathercraft skill!]

Sweet!

[Deconstruct]

Unlock Conditions - Take apart something that someone else has made.

[lvl 1] - Successfully salvage the basic parts of an item.

[lvl 3] - Successfully salvage the basic parts and know how to make it for yourself.

[lvl 6] - Successfully salvage all the parts and know how to make it for yourself.

[lvl 9] - Successfully salvage all the parts and know how to make it for yourself, even if it was created magically. NOT SO INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY NOW!

[Leathercraft]

Unlock Conditions - Create something with leather.

[lvl 1] - Create mundane things from leather.

[lvl 3] - Create quality things from leather.

[lvl 6] - Create impressive things from leather.

[lvl 9] - Create magical things from leather. BAG OF HOLDING ANYONE?!

Okay, the other skills were cool and all. But these two skills got my blood pumping. I've always had the urge to craft and create. But this seemed beyond imagination for me. Not to mention the later descriptions mentioning magic. I knew Norse lore had witches and seers and magical creations. But alluding that I would be able to wield or create some of those things?! That was awesome. Plus, maybe I could finally put the age-old question to rest. What happens when you put a bag of holding into another bag of holding?

I was quite delighted as I walked further into the forest. Which was a good feeling I was trying to hold on to. Because god damn if I wasn’t bored. It had been a few hours since I skipped out of Cannibalville and nothing of note had happened since. One foot in front of the other, just a fast enough pace to keep going steady without getting exhausted. I had come across a stream and was able to fill my waterskins. But it was so tiny not even a tadpole would claim it as home. “If there were any tadpoles!” I yelled at the sky.

“Fine!” The sky yelled back, and the world paused again. I was frozen mid-stride and regretful of that. If the last instance of world-pause behavior was any indicator, the snap back to real-time was going to hurt. With a staticky ripping noise, the self-proclaimed Loki stood before me again.

“Little Alpha Tester is already using the Report feature in the System is he?!” Loki looked at me menacingly. “Good,” he said with a nod and backed away a little bit. “I knew something was missing on this floor. You will have to forgive me, it has been ages since I have been to Midgard and I figured you mortals would have killed off all the other species of animals by now, you are so good at it after all.”

He gave me a disdainful look. What a prat. At least he had ditched his solo-developer starter kit look and now was sporting something a little more fitting. And by fitting I don’t mean something regal or time period appropriate. Nope I mean fitting like a tight black shirt and skinny jeans. More near jeggings than jeans probably. I guessed that Loki enjoyed people seeing how much he worked out his body. Which was none. The cheating shapeshifter. I was pretty sure he wasn’t wearing socks in his shoes either. His shoes were low top Converse knockoffs with eight-legged horses instead of a star symbol. The gross Millennial-styled Asgardian.

“I do have the Woodland Critters, as you called them, ready to go!” He said with a twist of his wrist and a shine of blue light revealed a stone tablet, covered in tiny runes. With a twist of his other hand, the air tore and revealed a section of the engraved tower. He pressed the tablet into the stone wall, and they combined. It was like watching a bar of butter melting in the microwave, but it was stone melting into the wall. The new runes spread out and patched themselves into the wall.

‘That's one way to apply a patch,’ I said, apparently willing my words worked to make communication possible, even though the world was paused. Loki snapped the hole in the world closed and gave me a smile and nod.

“Good job, Alpha Tester, another bug fixed. I will reward you with something to help you counter that difficult personality trait of yours.” He said with a wink. H proceeded to make two finger guns at me, and with a couple of pew sound effects, shot me and disappeared. The world immediately unpaused and I smashed into the ground. The little notification light was blinking at me again as I listened to a bird sound effect from smashing into the ground. Looney Tunes strikes again. It took me a moment to realize they weren’t just audio sound effects as some birds fluttered around in the canopy above. It brought a smile to my face to see some familiarity in the forest. I guess the lack of critters had been a more oppressive and strange feeling than I understood.

I decided to lay on my back for a bit and just enjoy the sounds of birds and small animals living their lives. I pressed the notification alert.

[Congratulations Alpha Tester! For finding a major issue with an easy solution the Administration has granted you a reward!]

[Loki’s Boon - You have been granted a boon, it will reveal itself when the time is right.]

That seemed… Ominous. A boon from a trickster god may not be all that much of a boon. But there wasn’t much he could do about it now. My ear itched, and as I went to scratch it, I found something there, a big fat spider. With a manly shriek, I got up off the forest floor, calmly wiped myself off, and proceeded on with my walk. Woodland Critters included bugs too.