> PoV: Malinka
“And that’s where you get the vicious cycle. Because those people don’t see us as equal, rather as some form of walking disaster they attack us. Because they attack us, some of those attacked snap and go crazy again. And because some of us snapped, we are all branded as a danger to everyone that should be attacked.” Morana’s tone keeps getting angrier with each word, as if this was something she’s been forced to watch many times without any power to stop it.
The room grows colder and darkens as she continues ranting and my heart feels tight, almost as if it’s being smothered. It hurts in a way I don’t fully understand, but I know I feel it because she’s the one hurting. And for the first time she’s letting me see it. My breaths are shallow wisps of cold mists, but… I feel like I can trust her, because I understand this.
She’s like me, she’s also hurt deep inside. “And it’s not even like everyone who goes crazy hurts people. Most just opt to-...” Morana’s speech continues as she seems to blend in with the darkness and grow. It’s almost as if everything around her is being smothered by her, by the cold hatred she’s kept locked and is now letting me see. I shiver, the room’s temperature drops further and further, and her anger scares me even if I know it's not directed at me. When - suddenly - it all stops, and it’s replaced with a feeling of loss. “-to wander off somewhere into the wilderness and are never heard from again.”
My throat is sore, and I feel like I’m about to cry when I notice Morana’s outline in the darkness turn around and face me. Her eyes are the only thing that stands out from the shadows - two white orbs of light looking kind of like snowflakes. I don’t dare to look away even though my heart is rapidly pounding again. Not because of fear, but because right now, I think she needs me to be brave.
I give her the best smile I can muster right now. I can’t find the words to speak, but I know it will be fine when I hear her count out loud. It will help her calm down just like it helped me. “Thanks” I whisper as my mind gives in to all of the pressure from before and I black out.
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When I wake up again, I find myself in the warm fluffy blankets I slept in tonight. I open my eyes, and take a moment to look around the room. There’s a very faint layer of cold mist still hovering over the ground, but the bed is nice and warm. So I don’t really mind, though I do pull the blanket a bit tighter over me.
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I also see Morana sitting on edge of the bed, she looks about as exhausted as I feel. Her black straight hair obscure most of her face, but I do manage to notice that she’s looking up at the window that lets the sun shine into the room. She’s also still wearing that black-and-blue army looking uniform. I’ll really have to convince her to let me shop for her one day.
I frown at the thought and think about it again. Why am I considering going shopping with her? She’s ignored me for most of the time we have been in Ravensbrook, though… I think I forgive her. Yeah, let’s go with that. It has nothing to do with the what happened before… Though that I kind of feel like I can understand it. I missed a lot of the words she said, but eh, I feel like I can relate to the whole thing.
“Finally awake?” Morana asks and I realize I’ve been lost inside my mind again. I give her a small smile and nod. “Yeah.” She seems to hesitate as I speak. I roll my eyes at how stupid she’s being again and take the initiative. “Don’t worry about it. I appreciate that you trusted me enough to say all of that.”
I see her tilt her head one way and then the other, clearly trying to figure out how to overthink everything. “So um, did you figure out where the bath is yet?” I ask her to change the subject. “Yup. Two rooms to the right, Stein’s even got warm water going as well as soap.” She quickly brightens up and mutters something to herself. What a terrible habit.
I decide to not worry about it right now and get out of the bed. When I’m about to reach for the door, Morana stops me and offers me the room’s key. “Meet me upstairs when you’re done, we’ll plan what needs doing and then get to it.” She tries to put on her best ‘disinterested’ tone again, but I can see how she’s smiling ever so slightly.
I look at the key and carefully accept it. It’s quite literally the key to my freedom. I could lock Morana out of the room and never let her in again. Or maybe trap her inside here. Or maybe something else. But… I don’t want to do any of those things. I feel… I feel trusted. And I know I don’t want that to change.
“Alright, see you there in a bit.” I say simply and head off, to a brighter tomorrow. Though just as I’m about to close the door behind me, I hear Morana mutter to herself again, those exact same words from before. “Small steps are enough, right Fen?”