I stumble due to the tears in my eyes as I start running. I wish to scream, to let out my fears and worries but I can't, as I know that will only attract more attention from those assholes who want to hurt me and... mom. She might as well be. She's the one who kept me safe and helped me realize that there are nice things in this world. And now she's in danger, and I can do to help is to... not be a burden. So I run, I run and hope - believe - she will be fine. She is strong unlike those drunk assholes, she's a hunter and she promised that I'll never be alone. She is winning, and that's that. And all I have to do is run, hide and wait for her. The realization makes me smile and through all of the fear I feel.
I have barely taken a few steps before the world itself is consumed in darkness. The cobblestone street with wooden houses disappears, consumed by the cold dark that floods the world from behind me. My skin pricks and needles due to the sudden change of temperature, but I keep on running because I know there's nothing to fear from this dark - from the shadows. Mom's last words echo through my mind 'Mali. Run, don't look back and remember that I'm a shadow. So you are never alone.' Even now she's worrying about that time she promised me that I'll never be alone again.
Navigating by memory is hard, but I have no other option as the entire town got swallowed by the dark. The featureless void isn't helping my sense of direction either. In the distance I hear people screaming in terror and I get it - I think I would scream too if I didn't know the darkness came from mom. Instead I bite down on my sobs. Steel clashes somewhere behind me but I don't turn around as that would mean I don't trust what my mom said. So I put all of my focus into running instead - just one leg in front of the other, over and over. Nothing else matters, she's gonna be okay.
"Jason! Take Tom and go after the other one! We can't let them leave!" I hear a man shout behind me. No, not just a man, the man who started this. The guy who refused to listen and instead attacked us. But that's not the only thing I hear. "No! I won't let you hurt her!" mom screams. Mom. I feel the dread and fear bubble up through my body, and I do the only thing I can think of that will help. I count in my head, not breaths, but the steps my feet take in this blank, empty and painfully cold void. 'One, Two, Three' my mind echoes my focus and I run further.
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The dark retreats and my surroundings come into view again. I'm.. somewhere. Some sort of dirty back alley behind some of the houses. Peeking around the corner, I don't see those two who were ordered to follow me, so I quietly creep forward. I don't really know where else to go as any sense of where I am was taken away by running in the dark. 'Don't stop moving. Mom said to run, so I can't stay still.' I tell myself. Having a goal helps me stay focused. It's not like I have much of a choice, as travelling through the shadows doesn't seem to care about things like walls and buildings. After all, there's a quite literal wall behind me right now, and I got here somehow.
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My feet fall as quietly as I can make them and I wipe the tears on my face into my shirt. A new shirt, that I bought with mom. A quiet sob escapes my lips, but I manage to choke all of the rest that would come after. 'No, I have to stay strong, for her.' I order my mind, and start moving instead. The little alley leads me around a few corners and through what seems to be a clothes line. All of the clothing is much too large to fit me even if I wanted to take it but that's not a surprise considering my age. I round the next corner and freeze.
The scene before me is unreal. It simply cannot be real. Mom is on her knees held down by one of her assailants, bleeding all over from the wounds she suffered. Her right arm is on the ground next to her, still holding onto a blood coated dagger. Likely from the eight dead people surrounding her. In front of her stands The Man. He's also wounded, but unlike mom he's standing. He stumbles forward towards her as she struggles with what strength is left in her body and raises his sword.
Mom's eyes don't focus on the weapon because she spots me, spying from behind a corner on the distant side of the square where the fight happened. I see her eyes soften as she mouths two words. Two words I don't remember ever hearing before in my life. "Abominable monster." The Man speaks, but I barely register his words. I'm too stunned watching as she repeats the same two words as before, still looking directly at me. She even stopped struggling, seemingly accepting what was about to come next.
'No. No!' my mind grinds to a halt as the sword comes down. The moment seems to stretch into eternity, but my body doesn't move. I want to run over there, to help her. The sword approaches mom's head. There has to be something I can do. I could scream and distract them? My body doesn't respond. 'Move you useless sack of shit!' I curse it internally as the skin on mom's head is pierced by the weapon. Time stops, and the life I cherished, the hope I found in the one person who never judged me no matter how many mistakes I made is snuffed out.
A cacophony of words explodes inside my mind. Her words.
'You’ll never be alone again.' Liar.
'I think I'm a burden' - 'I don’t mind' Liar.
'Most just opt to wander off somewhere into the wilderness and are never heard from again.' Liar.
'Small steps are enough, right?' Liar.
'So you are never alone.' Liar.
The thoughts that haunt me turn against the only thing I have left. Me.
'I hate lies and liars.' My voice from yesterday haunts me. 'I hate Liars! LIARS! LIAR! YOU LIAR!' my mind repeats and screams twisting those previously innocent words inside my head. I feel my legs give in, and my body drops onto the dirt floor of the alley like a puppet with cut strings. I feel my vision fading into white as buzzing noise drowns out all of those screaming accusations inside my mind, and soon there's nothing left. In this silent void, the very last words my mom said to me echo as a whisper on the wind. Those two mouthed words.
'Love you'.
The dam inside me breaks, and I don't even have the strength to cry.