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Live, Suffer and Hope
25 - Clouded Judgement

25 - Clouded Judgement

'There's no way out. Nothing to do.. no hope..' my thoughts echoed the realization of the futility of it all.

My knees buckled and I collapsed and simply stared at the closed gate. The footsteps behind me grew louder and I couldn't find it in me to care. There was no point in struggling.

I heard words being spoken by the same arrogant voice from before, though they didn't add up to anything inside my mind. A moment later I saw the man in full armor I've seen before walk in front of me. I could tell from his posture that he was gloating - probably saying something horrible about me.

I closed my eyes and just wished he'd already get it over with, there's no point in struggling anymore.

"Or we could kill all." My lips moved on their own, but the voice that came out wasn't mine. I recognized it never the less - a choir of voices. "Their lives, irrelevant, small." I saw reality fracturing - seemingly from in front of my own eyes - as spiderweb of cracks grew outwards. "Kill, and take the fall." The visitor spoke as it stood up - controlling me like a puppet. It's words were a command, bouncing through the inside of my mind amd drowning out all other thought.

I felt my consciousness get dragged back to reality, and the image in front of me was surreal. It was as if time had halted - I couldn't move, but neither could anyone else. Above me, the guard captain's face was a caricature of hate mixed with pleasure. He held his halberd, and was clearly bringing it down to end me right there and then. I'd guess I have about a second of life left if I don't do anything.

The scene reminded me of how David described his power. 'Is this what my power was all this time?' I noticed my thought seemed disappointed - after all this time, after all of the claims that hunters are special, this is what I'll be stuck with for the rest of my life.

The rips in reality widened as series of red eyes opened and glared at me. "Confused in your arc." Their voices echoed inside my mind. "Lamplight alone in the dark." It was painfully loud, but I couldn't move to get away from.. whatever was happening. "Memory's hierarch."

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"Hint to start your path." A hand reached out from one of the tears - a hand I recognized. That very same gaunt creature that visited me oh so many nights ago. "Hope, see light on the warpath." It was moving through the frozen time, and eventually stole a dagger from my fingers. "Make yours, our own wrath." I could only watch in horror as the torment brought the dagger down onto my right hand.

I braced for the pain, but none ever came. Instead, the dagger sunk into the tattoo-marked skin and took the light of the world with it. Despite not seeing this in years, I knew what it was instantly. Morana's - mom's - power. The world was plunged into darkness, and time resumed once more.

I dodged aside to avoid the strike of the halberd, but noticed the movement felt strange - as if friction simply ceased to exist. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the reason why - my body was barely an outline in the shadows, seemingly flickering in an out of existence with each twitchy movement. The beginning of a scream brought me out of my realization and my head snapped towards it - the captain of the guard has finished his strike, and his triumphant roar turned panicked when he realized he hit nothing but air.

The crack in reality was still there where it first opened, and from within it I could see the red eyes watching - and likely judging my every move. It felt as if they were urging me to... to kill him. Before I realized it, my body has already moved and pulled out the second dagger. This form was dangerous, it's control wasn't tied to actions like with my own body, rather each thought forced it to act.

The red eyes in the fracture glared, clearly displeased at the man's continuous existence. I could understand them, I hated him too, but right now... Right now my mind and emotions were sort of... disconnected. I couldn't fully grasp it, but I knew somewhere deep inside that if I'm killing this piece of shit, I'm doing it on my own terms. Not because some mind-controlling freak of a visitor wishes me to.

So I turned, and chose to run towards the gat--- my mind reeled as my surroundings shifted and I found myself where I wanted to be before even acting upon it. I felt nauseous at the sudden change, but willed myself to move. Much slower this time.

Somewhere behind me I could hear the eruption of panicked screams - accusations of witchcraft, of tormenthood and other vitriol from the assorted guards who just a few moments ago wanted to execute me for simply being inconvenient. Time felt strange, as if this form barely bothered to obey its rules. Instead of the solid current that everyone must follow, it felt like a lethargic fog that you must pass through to get to your destination.

The alien sensations I was forced to suddenly process had me stumped, but... I suppose I get to live another day at least. And I'll figure out what all of this means before I act on any of it.