How are my favorite backers doing? I have so much to tell you guys about today. So much happened. We had our first mission! I flew the Dogfighter! I made quesadillas! I met a new Backer!
The day didn’t start off all that great. I asked Alpha Dog again if (REDACTED) could come and visit me. I told him we were engaged because I thought that might make him change his mind. No luck though. I can’t even leave the Barn to go see her because he won’t let me tell her what state we’re in. It’ll cost so much to (REDACTED) out to see her that I think we’re stuck doing long distance for now. I can’t spend any money on trips because we’ll need it for the wedding. You guys are doing a great job donating, but the leftovers don’t make for very big salaries. Not that I’m complaining! Alpha Dog says that people ask if they can donate to a single Backer all the time and that me and Monkey Girl are the ones that get mentioned the most. You guys must really like me!
We’re a team though, and everyone gets their fair share. Except for the one I haven’t told you about yet, but it’s okay because she doesn’t need it.
After we had breakfast (I made ham omelets), Alpha Dog went to work on his dogs in his workshop while Impala introduced us to a few people who dropped by the Barn. She said they get consulting fees for working with us and keeping our secrets but they’re not official Backers.
The first one we met was this lady about Impala’s age with bright blonde hair. She had a lab coat, but it was much cooler than a regular one. I think it was made by the same designer who made all our costumes. We’re supposed to call her Doc Donor. (I guess a hero name comes free with the costume.) Impala told us she had powers too. She was born with hers. You can’t really tell but she’s got extras of a lot of stuff. She let me use her stethoscope on both sides of her chest so I could hear her two hearts. She said that she’s got mini organs all branching off her regular ones and if they get removed they just grow back.
She led us into part of the basement separate from the workshop where Alpha Dog had started setting up a little operating room. There was a bunch of medical equipment still in boxes. All the boxes were white, which I guess you’d expect. Who wants their surgery tools coming out of brown cardboard like it’s a shipment of socks or something? Doc Donor explained that she was a universal blood and organ donor as well as a licensed surgeon. Alpha Dog hired her so that if one of us gets injured she can come in and take care of us without us going to a hospital and risking our identities or getting arrested.
She said that if an organ needed to be transplanted she couldn’t be the donor and the surgeon, so someone else would have to do those operations. It took me a minute to realize Impala was looking at me.
“Who me?” I said. I was flabbergasted. I dissected a baby pig once, but that was about it. (It was for school.) The doctor told me that she had videos of a lot of different major surgeries and she wanted me to try and mimic them.
Before I knew it she pulled out this big dummy made of some kind of gel that had fake organs in it. Impala wheeled in a TV and put the surgery DVD in. The doctor gave me a real scalpel and told me to just copy what I saw. Normally people ask me to do weird stuff all the time, but I was nervous around my new friends. Pawn, Monkey Girl, Archive, and Transplant were all watching. I think Wallflower was watching too but she pulled a Houdini as soon as the scalpel came out.
For a second I felt like I was going to cut into a real person. I thought I could hear their pulse and feel the heat coming off of them. I poked the dummy though and it was just weird gel the color of cheap beer. I looked at the video. The doctor in it was already twenty seconds ahead of me, carving like he was just making Thanksgiving dinner. As soon as my knife touched the gel the knack flooded in again.
If any of you are new I think I’ll go ahead and explain it again really quick for you. The knack is what I call one of my powers. It lets me learn how to do things I’ve never done before. A lot of the time I don’t even need a video like the one they were showing me; I can just get a feel for something by touching the tools for it. My parents and I first noticed it when I was little and they signed me up for tennis lessons. I beat the instructor after about fifteen minutes. He was really sore about it. Lots of people get sore about it because they work really hard for that stuff but it just comes naturally to me.
What really gets them is that I can’t even give them a reason. I don’t know what was done to me when I was just an itty bitty embryo. I don’t know who my biological parents are. I just got mixed up like the wrong orders at a barbecue joint. My parents thought they were getting their kid and instead they got me. They’ve been nothing but loving though. I’ll never be half as good at anything as they are at being my Mom and Dad.
Anyway, I think Doc Donor liked the way it was going. I was pulling out a fake lung when I noticed her mouth was just kind of hanging open. She told me I could stop. Then she and Impala took me aside and asked if I would take the time to watch those surgeries and commit them to memory so I could help anybody who got hurt. I said yes, but how could I say no? I’m really just hoping that day never comes. As soon as this diary is over I’m going to watch some of them. I’ve just got to pretend it’s a season of shows on my Showbuffet queue so I can binge-watch them and get it out of the way.
The others were looking at me kind of funny when we came back in. I’d rather they didn’t see me when the knack is kicking in. When people see that I’m good at stuff they just expect me to do it whether I want to or not. How are they going to see me as their friend if they already see me as their chef and their doctor? Nobody’s friends with their doctor.
Doc Donor pulled us aside one at a time to ask a few medical history questions. Then she took blood and skin samples. I guess she wants to study them a little to make sure medicines don’t react badly with any of our powers. Monkey Girl and Archive looked a little uncomfortable with the sampling; maybe they wanted to keep that stuff private. They didn’t say anything. I think that’s because we all saw the fridge with the clear door in the back that was full of blood bags. Doc Donor had already stocked the place with her own blood to help us, so how could we say no? She’d committed more to the cause than any of us already. I don’t know how Wallflower felt about it because I couldn’t see her face. Nothing but her arm appeared when Doc Donor drew blood. It looked like a horror movie prop just hanging in the air like that.
After Doc Donor left Impala took us back upstairs and we met two more people in the Barn’s little reception are. There was a young (REDACTED) girl and a middle-aged guy who looked like a truck driver.
Monkey Girl kind of squealed and ran over to hug the girl. It was really cute. She said they knew each other from the internet. We’re supposed to call her the Unfridgable Girl. She’s like a blogger or a moderator or something online. She handles a lot of our web stuff and looks for contacts to help with financing or maybe even join the team. She was the one Monkey Girl first got in touch with a couple months ago when the Coinhat campaign was still getting figured out. She didn’t have a mask or anything.
“The internet provides all the anonymity I need,” she said. We all talked about computer stuff for a little while: safety measures and other things. We’re supposed to come up with new better passwords for all our stuff and shut down any social media accounts we have that aren’t absolutely necessary. The Unfridgable Girl said I should keep my Connectera page though, since I’m really active on it. “There’s nothing more suspicious than someone shutting down a big digital part of their life,” she said. It’s a good thing she said that because I have (REDACTED) friends on Connectera.
The man’s name was (REDACTED) and nobody had given him a heroic one. He didn’t look like he needed one. I guess I’ll just call him Truck here so you don’t have to hear that computer voice say redacted so many times. He gets the groceries and the things we need from the pharmacy, hardware store, or anywhere else. He’s also the one who’ll drive us anywhere we might need to go since we can’t keep cars at the Barn.
Impala explained that we shouldn’t go into town together much because people will be looking for a group with certain kinds of people in it.
“It’d be best if I only took two of ya’ at a time,” Truck said. “Aside from the reason just mentioned, (REDACTED)’s usually only got three seats. Fourth one’s where I put the big ol’ bag a (REDACTED) I need fer my regular job.”
It’s really great that Alpha Dog got all this technical stuff out of the way so we don’t have to worry about it. I don’t get angry much, but paperwork makes me fume. He did all the pencil pushing and you guys gave us the money. That’s why I hope I remember to thank you for it at least once in every one of these diaries. Don’t let me forget. We finished going over all the important stuff with Truck and the Unfridgable Girl just in time. Alpha Dog came sliding towards us with five of his dogs scrambling right behind him.
“We’ve got a mission!” He yelled. “We’re needed!” Everyone got really excited, but Alpha Dog yelled over everybody and calmed us down. “It’s not for all of us,” he said. “Only those of us most effective for the situation are going. Impala will stay here with the rest of you in case anything else comes up.” Suddenly I felt like I was lined up in gym class and people were picking kickball teams. I always got picked first, but I still got nervous anyway. “Transplant,” Alpha Dog said. He walked forward. I didn’t get picked first. That was new. Now I really know why people don’t like it. He said my name next though.
It turns out the mission only needed the three of us. It was a wildfire getting out of control just outside a national park. Everyone else looked real disappointed, but we couldn’t stick around to console them. Alpha Dog, Transplant, and I went out back to where the Dogfighter is hidden in the (REDACTED). Alpha pressed a button on his arm thingy and the jet’s ramp automatically opened.
“Alright let’s move,” he said, but I think he was talking mostly to the dogs. They ran in two at a time, barking the whole way. Crispy, the firefighting one, was bossing the others around. Alpha said that was because he’d designated it the beta for that mission. That meant if the dogs got separated from him and then from the other Backers, they would gather around Crispy and listen to him. He’d put some kind of red metal tanks on the backs of the dogs. I found out when we got there that they were all full of extinguishing foam.
Transplant and I got on the plane next. We went to strap ourselves into the side seats, but Alpha Dog said I was flying. First a surgeon… and now a pilot! I hopped into the captain’s chair and sank into its thick leather cushions. A bunch of crazy little switches and dials stretched out in front of me like a bunch of gaudy necklaces on a display rack. I didn’t have a clue what any of them did. I told Alpha Dog I’d only flown a helicopter once before.
“I believe in you,” he said. He didn’t sound nervous at all. “Besides, I suck at flying it.” I wrapped my hands around the main controls and moved all my fingers individually. I felt the little bumps in the plastic. I didn’t quite feel the knack, but that’s because I’d gotten ahead of myself.
“Safety first,” I whispered under my breath. I buckled the safety belts across my chest. Seriously guys, don’t ever forget to do this. It doesn’t matter if it’s an advanced stealth jet or a little punch buggy. Those things save lives.
“How’s it going?” Alpha asked.
“I think these clean the windshield,” I said and pointed to a pair of unmarked little metal switches. I flicked them. Two streams of fluid sprayed out onto the glass and washed away the dust. “Oh yeah,” I said. I was really feeling the knack. I picked up driving in a second, but flying felt totally different. It felt more… around me, you know? I felt like I could fly even if there wasn’t a pair of jet engines behind me. I flicked a few more switches and pulled on the controls.
The Dogfighter can do vertical take-offs and landings, which I didn’t know until the tiniest moment before I pulled it up. We lifted off the ground and barely rocked. I took us higher and higher until clouds obscured the Barn. I don’t know how I can describe it to you guys… the knack I mean. It’s not like somebody is pulling my strings like a puppet. It’s like everything anybody ever invented is just a leaf floating in a river and I know how to push the leaves so they don’t get stuck on the rocks that are jutting up out of the water. Does that make sense?
Anyway, I put in the coordinates Alpha gave me and I let the autopilot do most of it for the next (REDACTED) or so. Then he passed me and Transplant these little gray boxes with clips on the back of them. They were cameras. He told us to attach them to the collars of our costumes. When I snapped mine in place I noticed there was a square little pocket for it. I guess he’d planned on us filming the missions since before we started. He clipped his own on and explained that the videos are for people who have donated five hundred dollars or more. I guess if people back us that much they do deserve a few free action movies every now and then.
He went over the plan with us. I was supposed to drop him and Transplant off near the edge of the fire so they could fight it. Apparently Transplant can do this thing where he can connect a bunch of tree roots and then lift them out of the ground so they stir up big piles of dust. He was going to throw the dust and dirt onto the fire to smother it.
Alpha wanted me to follow all the helicopters that would already be there fighting the blaze. He put some kind of deployable bucket on the Dogfighter that I could fill up in whatever lake or river the helicopters were using. I was a little bummed that I’d be in the plane the whole time, but a mission’s a mission right?
It might sound kind of dull, but we made it super heroic. Transplant. That guy is crazy wild. He had me slow the Dogfighter to a hover way above the trees and then told me to open the ramp. Then he just walked out and started falling. It freaked us both out. I turned the plane to watch him go. It seriously looked like he was about to smash against the ground and die. I saw him tuck in his knees though. His costume has bare patches there so his skin can touch plants. When his knees hit the canopy this circle of trees just sort of bent in around him like he’d jumped on a trampoline.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
A few seconds later this big snaking tree trunk grew above the rest and I could see Transplant sticking out of the top of it with his arms and legs sunk into the wood. He didn’t waste any time. The big tree pulled itself across the ground towards the fire like a broom sweeping across the floor. I could barely see the reddish fire through the plumes of smoke, but it still looked intimidating. I could practically hear it crackling and popping as it ate up tons of dry grass and shrubs.
Transplant pulled a giant coil of roots out of the ground and tossed a chunk of earth onto the flames. He kept his tree leaned back out of the smoke and tossed a few more giant dirt clods at it. I could talk about how cool it was all night, but some of you will get to see it through his eyes when the video goes up. I think Alpha Dog’s editing the footage right now.
He had me swing the plane down low, close to the edge of the blaze where all the firefighters on the ground were trying to contain it. He didn’t want me to land though; I think he wanted to try and make an entrance as cool as Transplant’s. I hovered about ten feet off the ground and opened the ramp. Alpha Dog pressed a few buttons on his arm thing and the dogs lined up with Crispy in the lead and the other four standing in pairs behind him. Little pieces of metal lifted off Crispy’s shoulders. The same thing happened on the other dogs’ inside shoulders. Then all the pieces sort of shot backward and released a bunch of metal wire. Alpha caught one of the pieces in mid-air and all the other ones started to snap together and create a shape in front of him. When it was done all the wire tightened and I could see they’d built an instant dog sled!
“Hyah!” Alpha Dog yelled and they all took off running. They pulled him out of the jet, onto the ground, and towards the fire. I watched him for another minute. He dismounted and separated the dogs so they could go out into the flames and start covering everything with foam. He started speaking to the lady who looked like the head firefighter, but then he looked up at me and waved me away. I forgot I was supposed to be doing something too! I’m so used to being an observer. I guess when you’re watching a super hero your brain just assumes you’re sitting in a theater seat and you don’t need to do anything.
I took the dogfighter higher and searched for the helicopters. They weren’t too difficult to find on account of their bright orange color and all the waterfalls they were dropping on the fire. I followed one of them back to this really pretty lake they were taking the water from. Then I deployed the bucket and dipped it in just like they did. I couldn’t quite see it but I think the bucket has a big Justice Backers logo on the side.
After a few hours it seemed like the fire was getting under control. A lot of the land was black and smoking but I tried to think about how much more of it would’ve gone if we weren’t there. It only got about an acre into the national park. I must’ve made fifty trips to that lake and back; that’s a lot more than any of those helicopters thanks to the jet being so fast. If all our missions are this flying-intense we might have to take a pay cut so we can buy enough fuel for this thing. And I hope I didn’t grab any poor fish out of that lake just to drop them into the frying pan.
Since the firefighters were mopping up the last of it, Alpha Dog sent me a signal to drop down and grab him. After that I’d go pick up Transplant, who was back where I first dropped him off doing his best to correct the damage he’d done to the forest. As far as I can tell he was trying to put all the trees, bushes, and roots back where they started. It’s nice of him to do that; nobody told him he had to or anything. People will definitely appreciate a hero who cleans up after himself.
I was going to actually land next to Alpha Dog this time, but something happened. He was shaking hands with that firefighter lady, she didn’t look unhappy or anything, but then they turned their heads. I couldn’t hear the sirens from inside the Dogfighter, but I saw the blue and red flashing lights. I guess one of the firefighters or an onlooker called the cops on us. Technically we weren’t cleared to be there, but it sure looked like the fire-chief-lady was glad to have us.
There was only a dirt road out there and those cop cars looked super uncomfortable rocking and hitching over the grass towards Alpha Dog. All his dogs came running out of the brush in unison and formed the sled again. Alpha hopped on and rode them towards me. I dropped the ramp open and did my best to hold it about a foot off the ground so the dogs could jump into it. The robots got in smoothly but the sled hit the edge of the ramp and tossed Alpha forward into the plane. One of the dogs scrambled to catch him and they both slammed into the back of the seat.
“We’re fine,” he said. “Not the most graceful exit, but fine. Go get Transplant before the cops catch up to him.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I booked it. It wasn’t hard finding him; he was still connected to a tree that was higher than the rest and swaying a lot. He did have a few cops pestering him though. Two squad cars were parked around the base of the tree and I think they were yelling for him to come down. We don’t answer to them though. We answer to our backers.
I hovered at the top of his tree with the ramp open and he suavely stepped out of the wood and onto the metal platform like it was no big deal. What did I say? Crazy wild. He’s going to make me look like a sidekick if he keeps this stuff up.
We just left those silly cops barking up that tree and headed home. At least they didn’t try to shoot us or anything. If you guys can’t afford the videos we took, you can look up that super weird tree Transplant left behind in a search engine or something. We’re already on the news so there are a lot of pictures of it up. I heard some people are calling it the Justice Juniper already. Maybe we should put it on the logo or something.
Anyway… yeah. That was mission number one. The beginning. I think it went really well. When we got back everybody, except Loved One obviously, joined us in the kitchen and we all hung out. The Unfridgable Girl was still there too since she and Monkey Girl were catching up while we were gone. I kind of wanted to tell everybody about it, but Alpha Dog suggested I should make some food for us all to celebrate; it was getting close to dinner time.
“Quesadillas?” I suggested, since I’m not good at saying no. It was kind of nice though. Slinging cheese and peppers and sliced chicken while my super hero buddies talk and brag and laugh behind me. Next time though, I’m going to get you guys a video that’s worth watching.
I just sort of stayed in the kitchen area when people started peeling away for bed. We do have training scheduled after all. Alpha Dog wants us to learn some commands for his dogs and how to work with them since they’re everybody’s support. Should be fun. I waited up just long enough for Loved One to come out and grab his dinner. I tried not to yawn even though it was late. I might be the only one he gets to hang out with since I’ve never lost anybody really. Still got all four of the grandparents. My pet fish died, but he doesn’t look like animals so it’s not a problem. I just see him for what he is. I talked to him about what I’ll tell you guys about now: Dreamweaver.
Remember I said I met a new Backer? I didn’t mean Doc Donor, the Unfridgable Girl, or Truck. They’re on staff but they’re not full Backers. I actually met Dreamweaver the night before the first mission, while I slept.
I was in my dream place. You guys are probably used to all sorts of crazy dreams, but mine aren’t like that. They’re all in the same place. It’s just this sort of gray room. Maybe it’s a room. I never really see any corners but it also doesn’t feel very open. Dreams don’t have to make sense so I’ll just say the room is spherical but not curved. It usually has some furniture. This time there was a gray couch and a gray armchair, but sometimes there’s a coffee table and a lamp too. Then there’s the television. It’s little and it looks like an antique: square with wooden sides and two rabbit-ear antennas.
That TV is the only thing that ever does anything in my dreams. Sometimes things I saw earlier that day play on it like they’re just a rerun. They even have commercials, but instead of selling products they’re just sort of little promo pieces for the people I know. Like, if there was one about Monkey Girl an excited voice would just say things like this: Monkey Girl the amazing! Watch her flip and twirl through the air! One of the original Justice Backers! Order now and she can be your friend too! Like that. Usually the shows and commercials aren’t even on anyway. Most of the time the TV screen is just static.
I was sitting on the couch waiting for a show to come on. It feels like I’m waiting the entire time I’m sleeping. I wish I could sleep without going there because it’s so boring. I looked over and saw someone else was sitting in the armchair. I freaked out and stood up. I’d never seen another person in my dreams who wasn’t on the little screen.
It was a tall woman in her fifties with long black hair. She was wearing a long, gray, modest dress. When she noticed me noticing her she stood up and tried to calm me down. She looked surprised that I could even see her.
“Normally I’m like Wallflower in people’s dreams,” she said with a little smile. “They can only see me if I want them to.”
“You know Wallflower?” I asked dumbly. I didn’t know what else to say. If she was part of my brain of course she would know Wallflower.
“I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said. “Normally I can find something to hide behind in a dream, but this place is nearly empty.”
“Yeah, sorry,” I said. I felt like I needed to apologize for some reason, even though she was the one who didn’t knock. Of course there wasn’t a door to knock on in my spherical but not curved room. “Who are you? And why did you… stop by?”
“My name is Dreamweaver. I joined the Justice Backers shortly after its inception. I applied in Alpha Dog’s dream and he accepted me.”
“Wait… you’re saying you’re a real person? I thought I was dreaming you.”
“I get the impression that you don’t dream people.”
“Well not normally. Sometimes people show up on that TV. A weird dream is more believable than another real person showing up inside one. If you’re real, how did you get into my head?”
“I can transfer my consciousness between people whenever I want to as long as they are within a certain distance of each other. I move via resting brain waves.”
“You don’t have a body? You’re not just the dream you; you’re the only you?”
“That’s right. I used to have a body. I was a powerful telepath until my death in 1975. I never revealed my gifts to anyone and, I’m sorry to admit, only used them selfishly. I influenced men to fall in love with me. I convinced people to change the direction of their lives to something I found more appropriate. Sometimes it helped and sometimes it hurt them. It was one of the people I hurt, a very intelligent mentalist himself, who eventually deduced my abilities and shot me in the back with a revolver.”
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. I awoke when he dreamed that night and realized my powers had moved my mind into his. I instantly understood why he’d done everything he ever did. I knew that I deserved to die and I knew that it was a great injustice for me to stay in his head any longer than I had to. So now I hop between minds and wake when my host dreams.”
“Can you still change people? You’re not trying to change me are you?”
“No, don’t be alarmed. I made a vow to never change anyone ever again. I only use my powers now to grant insight and gather information. Minds are not my property; I’m just a hitchhiker. I apologize for my drab appearance; normally I can gather some fantastical dream colors around me and this dress looks like a dazzling aurora.”
“My dreams don’t have any color really,” I said. I felt my cheeks get a little warm and I wondered if my real-life face was reddening.
“Why do you suppose that is?” she asked.
“I think it’s because I’m not creative.” I’ve never told you guys this… and I haven’t really explained it to the other Backers either. I’m literally not creative. My brain never makes anything new. I’m good at most things because I can feel how people before me have done them, but my brain turns into a brick wall whenever I try to think of something new. I failed art class when I was a kid because I could never think of anything to draw.
I can draw anything so well that it looks like a photograph, but only if I’m looking at it. Otherwise trying to put pencil to paper kind of hurts. It feels like my brain is trying to pull itself down to my wrist through my chest and arm.
Alpha Dog said I could build trust with you guys, so don’t tell the other Backers okay? A lot of the people I’ve told before start to look at me like I’m some kind of robot. They wonder if whatever was done to my embryo back at that fertility clinic somehow sucked out my soul. Sometimes I can’t help thinking that. My dream place might as well be a desert.
“Does this place trouble you?” she asked me.
“I’m usually just waiting for it to be over. It’s nice to have a visitor, but you probably won’t want to stay. I couldn’t imagine not being able to wake up from this.”
“The other Backers do dream more… traditionally.”
“What are theirs like?” I could barely contain the excitement in my voice. I must’ve sounded like some stupid little kid. Super heroes probably have super dreams rather than my sterilized waiting room.
“Monkey Girl’s are very lush. Tropical. Her new DNA brings a certain instinctual bend to everything.” I could tell she was picking her words carefully. I forgot for a moment that dreams are extremely private things. After that I just assumed she was leaving out the most telling details. “Pawn is a calm dreamer, as if he sleeps within his sleep. Wallflower uses hers to explore situations she can’t help but shy away from in the waking world.”
“Wow,” I said. Those all sounded great. The TV crackled to life and started playing a recording of my fiancé and me kayaking from a few years back. “Uhm, this is the show,” I said awkwardly. “It’s pretty much the only thing that happens in here. Do you want to watch?”
She nodded politely and we sat down to enjoy it. I tried to will a bowl of popcorn into existence for us to share, but I couldn’t. I did manage to make one of the commercials about Transplant using his powers in a cornfield. That’s slightly related I guess. Dreamweaver was very polite, but I’m pretty sure she left this morning as soon as I was around somebody else. There’s not much for her to enjoy in my head. There isn’t even enough for me.
This morning I was half-convinced she was just a figment of my imagination so I mentioned her to Monkey Girl. She smiled with those pointy little monkey fangs of hers and snickered.
“So she say hello to you too,” she said. “Dreamweaver is real! Pawn and I speak about her the other day. We cannot all dream the same thing. Did you like her dress? I never see anything as beautiful. Our costumes are like rags if you compare them.”
“Uh yeah,” I stammered. That astonishing, beautiful, spectacular… gray dress. I’m pretty tired guys. It was a really long day. I’ll snag a couple questions from the list here before I head back to my dream place for another eight-hour block.
Darthasthmatic: Why do you guys give special benefits to people who pay more? Would you offer personal protection to someone who paid you enough; and if so, isn’t that justice for the rich by the rich? What about the people who can’t afford to back you? Just playing devil’s advocate ;), totally love my Backer bros and sistahs.
That’s a hard question. I’m not really in charge, so maybe you should ask Alpha Dog or Impala. I don’t think we would do that. We’re not bodyguards. The Coinhat thing is so we can pay for everything, but we’re supposed to help anybody who needs it, rich or poor. My parents spent everything they had just trying to have a kid, so I know what it’s like to not have a lot of cash lying around. I can tell you that I don’t do this for money. I hope that’s good enough!
Swagglerock69: wich gril backer r u gonna bang? u could get any peace of ass with that pretty arian face of your’s! also rate them 4 me. hottest 2 nastiest. ill put it on the JB thread on Thinkitch 4 u so evry1 can c it. i no a mod over there.
Impala told me I’m allowed to ban people who ask inappropriate questions. Don’t come back. Sorry to end on a sour note backers, but there’s always tomorrow. Good night!