Backer Update #16 (Financial Crisis)

Hello everyone. I know you are used to Alpha Dog doing these updates, but I, Impala, will be handling at least the next few. We have encountered a major setback and he has asked me to make the reports until he overcomes what he has dubbed ‘the bottomless shame’.

If you have not been following our personal diaries or earlier updates, I will summarize the situation. We recently made a powerful enemy named Woman’s Touch. She is a former colleague of Alpha Dog’s and in addition to controlling a pair of powerful jet-propelled robotic hands, she has allied herself with a disturbed young woman who can summon natural disasters from thin air. They have been hitting engineering labs across the country to steal parts for an unknown machine that we think may be a vehicle of some sort. We attempted to stop her once, but were overcome by her companion’s abilities. In the process Pawn’s body was destroyed.

It has now been two weeks since the event and he has not returned. We do have part of him with us; it shows no sign of either regeneration or degeneration. We are all growing worried as to his fate. We are hopeful that the rest of him has merely gotten caught in some natural loop of wind or water and is just making very slow progress.

Yesterday Woman’s Touch defeated us a second time. This defeat was ethereal and yet it has demoralized us more than the first. With the help of a loose association of cybercriminals who have named themselves (for reasons sane people do not understand) ‘the Poo Flingers’, she has breached our website and the accounts we use to conduct our business. All of the money we had stored there was drained. As a security measure we never store more than two months’ donations there, but she made off with a month and a half of your gifts to us, totaling more than three million dollars. We have no way to recover it.

Alpha Dog, the Unfridgable Girl, and Archive were able to do some damage control. We have arranged for new tighter security measures to protect the funds. We have been assured by some of the most brilliant people in the field of computers, some of them backers themselves who volunteered their expertise, that our system can no longer be infiltrated.

Archive used her vision to scan all of our machines for clues. She was the one who discovered an encrypted chain of messages between Woman’s Touch and the Poo Flingers. One former backer in particular, Swagglerock69, was revealed as the driving force behind the collaboration. He was repeatedly banned from our comments sections and eventually took to the multipurpose site Thinkitch where he started collecting vitriol aimed at the Justice Backers. I don’t spend much time with computers myself, so I was shocked to see the sorts of things posted there. Photos of us altered to appear pornographic. Racially-charged insults primarily directed at Wallflower, Monkey Girl, and me. Crudely drawn homophobic and transphobic caricatures. I am nearly convinced that the physical world is not the one in desperate need of superheroes.

Thanks to Archive and the Unfridgable Girl we were able to identify Swagglerock69 as a seventeen-year-old male living with his parents in Tennessee. His name is Wayne Drudd Newbeck. We reported him to various police departments and cybercrime watchdogs. While he cannot be charged for interfering with what are technically illegal fundraisers, he was quickly linked to more than a hundred other instances of threats, hacking, fraud, and harassment. He has been arrested and is currently being charged.

I know that the team has no right to ask this of you, you who have given so much for the good of the world, but we need a sizable sum in order to recover. We’re down three million dollars. There is an additional expense Eben and I have agreed is necessary. I became aware of our need for it when I witnessed the villainous therapist Dr. Moyne manipulate one of his patients into attacking us. The Justice Backers need someone to fill a similar role, except this person would shine light where Moyne attempts to cast shadow. We need someone unshakeable who can teach us to remain calm and avoid emotional distractions.

We need Orb. Many of you have suggested him as a possible member of the team. Until two weeks ago we could not even confirm his existence. We were surprised to learn he not only exists, but has an E-mail address. We have been communicating with him for a while now and he has expressed a willingness to join our team provided we can cover his expenses. Orb is Indian and has lived there much of his life. He owns and operates an old temple that acts as a place of meditation and healing for the people of his community. Most of his students donate their time but the building still has associated expenses. In exchange for a monthly stipend in addition to his proposed salary that will allow him to keep his temple open, Orb will become a Justice Backer.

His story has been an internet legend for several years now, ever since some uploaded phone footage that seemed to show a man encased in a giant glass marble toppling trees as he rolled through a forest.

Orb has studied the minds of man for his entire life. The Buddhism of his youth has evolved into a universal understanding of the human condition. He has plainly stated that he has achieved enlightenment. This achievement has unlocked an incredible mental power: the ability to shield himself from the world inside a perfect sphere of psychic energy. Inside the sphere he is in a meditative state, a psychic cocoon of sorts, and cannot be harmed. His mind can propel the sphere across the ground at incredible speeds with near-unstoppable force. He is a precise and merciful wrecking ball.

Eben and I are of the opinion that with his help we will have both the physical strength and the emotional grounding necessary to defeat Woman’s Touch and her cohorts. This is what we ask of you. I know some of you have lost faith and others feel sorely tested. Many of you have sacrificed greatly to bring us to this point and there is no denying that we failed you. I’ve read many messages from community college students skipping meals to give that extra five dollars. Some of you have lost parents, spouses, and children to crime and have invested in us so others will not suffer the same heartbreak. It tears at all of us that we may have cracked your hearts more in recent days.

Yet we’re still here. We won’t give up. We won’t hide. If we can raise the missing funds, our usual monthly expenses, and Orb’s fee I am certain we can move on. There is greatness simmering within the Backer Barn and the evildoers of the world need to have its righteous fire thrust upon them. The Justice Backers will rise to the challenge if you allow it!

(Act-of-Goddess Interrogation)

The following is taken from a recorded police interview of the individual known as Act-of-Goddess. She was captured by authorities in the Arizona desert alone and in a disheveled state. Leeryeyed.com would like to credit our source: the Unfridgable Girl.

Officer#1: Can you tell us your name?

Goddess: I am Act-of-Goddess, rightful guardian of Mother Earth.

Officer#2: Your legal name dear.

Goddess: I care not for your laws and labels.

Officer#1: Can you tell us what you were doing out in the middle of the desert with no phone and no water?

Goddess: There were falling rocks here. It was merely a convenient place to retreat.

Officer#1: What were you retreating from?

Goddess: Nothing. A silly argument.

Officer#1: Who were you arguing with?

Goddess: Dr. Moyne. He is my advisor. I rely on him to cut through the illusions cast by the titans.

Officer#2: What the heck are the titans?

Goddess: Embodiments of destruction. They seek to end my kind’s dominion over the Earth. They are giant elementals trapped under the planet’s crust. I can feel the hot churning of their struggles underneath my feet every day.

Officer#1: If they’re trapped how can they hurt you? Why do you need your advisor?

Goddess: Not all beings are as tiny and helpless as you humans. Cages cannot contain them entirely. They create spiritual emissaries who come to the surface and breed with any creature they can seduce. Then their offspring carry out their agendas. It is the titan of illusions who seeks my blood the most. He plagues me by confusing my eyes, altering my memories, and ambushing me with rage, joy, and sorrow when I am not prepared. Dr. Moyne gives me the truth so I do not accidentally destroy myself or the things I am sworn to protect.

Officer#2: How do you know he’s telling you the truth?

Goddess: He is an honest man. Before I started seeing him I did not even know I was a goddess. The illusions had taken root in my mind so strongly that I was convinced I was a human girl in the process of losing her mind. The old me, the plagued me, was being ripped apart by a typhoon of emotions. Ecstasy would pull me to the left. Sadness would claw me down. Anger made me explode into tiny pieces. I could do nothing to stop it.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Officer#2: We’ve seen your emotions in action on TV. It seemed like you were in control.

Goddess: Dr. Moyne has helped me to control it. The titan of illusions knows he can upset me by destroying parts of the Earth because I am connected to it. What he does not grasp is that his tantrums only tickle our mighty mother. All he has succeeded in doing is increasing my divine power.

Officer#1: How long have you had this divine power?

Goddess: It has always lived within me, but it was not until my adolescence that it revealed itself. I noticed the temperature of the air around me changed whenever I was upset. Occasionally I would see spots of other places. It was just for an instant and then I would blink them away. Once the titans increased their efforts and I could not control myself, the forces of the Earth started truly bringing their fury wherever I went. Some of you poor humans suffered as a result. I am sorry for that.

Officer#2: If you don’t want us to suffer why are you working for Woman’s Touch? She hurts people all the time.

Goddess: Watch your tongue. I do not work for anyone. I follow the guidance of my doctor. He insists Woman’s Touch is at least partly divine, though nowhere near as much as I am. He is merely helping her move out from under the titans’ spells as well.

Officer#2: What’s your plan? Why are you robbing all those labs?

Goddess: You shouldn’t waste your time on things you don’t understand. Those pieces are just so Dr. Moyne can build a machine that produces medicine. It will make pills strong enough to free me from the titan of illusions. It won’t hurt you.

Officer#2: Why are you even bothering to talk to us? You could break out of here by spraying a volcano at us right now couldn’t you?

Goddess: The Earth is calm.

Officer#1: Okay… earlier you said you came out here because of an argument. You picked a great place. It’s almost dark enough to see the stars now. They look amazing out in the valley.

Goddess: It is good you know how to appreciate the natural wonders.

Officer#1: Thank you. That means a lot coming from a goddess. Do you mind if I ask what you two were arguing about? Who argues with a goddess anyway? It seems disrespectful to me.

Goddess: Normally, yes… I try to show the doctor a certain respect for revealing the truth to me. He did not have to.

Officer#1: What did he say that upset you?

Goddess: It is none of your business.

Officer#1: I didn’t mean to pry. I just figured that if a genuine goddess is upset it might be bad for everyone. I may not be connected to the Earth but I do live here.

Goddess: I did not mean to snap, but you mustn’t worry. The planet will not collapse over this. It’s just me being foolish. Taking these illusions more seriously than I should even when I know they’re false.

Officer#1: What illusions?

Goddess: They’re not even particularly convincing. They come to me in dreams. I know not to trust dreams. They’ve shown me lies even before the titans. My father you see… my adoptive human father. His mortal life ended when I was very young. It was cancer: that dreaded mortal mold. I always remembered his kindness. My mind tortured me with that, making a puppet of him dance in my dreams as if he was alive. It would let me hug him and talk to him and see his smile. Then it would wake me. It is such agony waking into a world of death. I can only suffer it at the hands of creatures like the titans, but still. His death is still a crying wound.

Officer#1: Is the titan of illusions using your dad to upset you?

Officer#2: Why are you bothering with this? She’s off her rocker. Let’s just get her sedated.

Officer#1: I apologize for her goddess. She doesn’t believe. I’m in charge here though and I would very much like to keep talking with you.

Goddess: Very well.

Officer#1: Were you and the doctor arguing about your father?

Goddess: Just his image. It came to me in the middle of the night. Told me I was being lied to. Dr. Moyne told me it was just another dream.

Officer#1: But you don’t think it was?

Goddess: My father is dead so it had to be a dream, but it did strike me as very odd. I thought… I thought a voice in my dreams woke me and told me to step outside and find him. I thought I was awake when I saw him this most recent time. If the titan can layer my dreams I do not know if I can ever rest soundly again.

Officer#1: Why did you disagree with Moyne?

Goddess: There was something odder still. Hardly a detail, but… the illusion of my father told me it wasn’t my father. It told me it was just a visitor that knew the greatest sorrows of man. It knew of my sorrow. It knows that I still feel… wrong. I still feel like I’m clawing my way out from under a heavy blanket… if that thing was a trick by the titans why would it tell me it wasn’t real? That doesn’t make any sense.

Officer#1: I agree. You’re a goddess after all; you shouldn’t give up on your instincts entirely. Maybe Moyne is mistaken. He is only mortal after all. Maybe you need to think about what that thing said.

Officer#2: That’s enough magic for me. I’m getting some coffee.

Officer#1: I’ll take some too. Goddess would you like anything to drink? A soda? Some water?

Goddess: No, there is plenty of water.

Officer#1: A-alright. Can I tell you something goddess?

Goddess: You can say whatever you like. It does not matter to me.

Officer#1: Well you know I’m a police officer. It’s my job to protect people like it’s your job to protect the planet. I know you’re very powerful but I still feel like I should protect you if I could. That’s why I’m telling you this. All those parts you’re helping Woman’s Touch get aren’t to make medicine. I got a message about an hour ago from the guys at the FBI saying those parts are for some kind of vehicle. It’s mostly experimental engine stuff. No medicine.

Goddess: You lie.

Officer#1: I’m sorry goddess, but it’s the truth.

Goddess: An illusory truth then. One you cannot see through.

Officer#1: There is only one truth.

Goddess: If we are the thieves and monsters then why were we attacked by titan spawn? They stop at nothing to prevent my accomplishments.

Officer#1: Do you mean… the Justice Backers?

Goddess: If that’s what the creatures call themselves. They even wear masks. Who knows what monstrous eyes they’re hiding?

Officer#1: Believe me, I’m no fan of them. They’re not monsters though. They’re just people with weird bodies and brains running around trying to do my job. Where their first instinct is to attack, mine is to question. I want truth and justice for everyone. That includes you.

Goddess: I’m sure your intentions are noble, but you’re just an insect flying mindlessly into a window. You do not have the insight I need. I must thank you. It’s very relaxing confiding in you humans. I can store my secrets in you with the assurance that you will, in the beat of a divine heart, wilt and die with it still a part of you. I’ll be going now.

Officer#1: Hold on a second, don’t… what… what is this?

Goddess: I told you there was plenty of water.

The recording is then drowned out by the sound of rushing water. Satellite images show a collapsed wall on the precinct’s side and a very large puddle.