A Brand New Goth Girl

[13]

My roommates had the door open. Norah stood in the hallway with Kasey lingering by the door and Rhea somewhere inside. It didn’t take long for them to notice us. They looked upon me with expectation and curiosity but also noticed Rosalie at my side. I carried her jacket and braced myself for her to run away or hide.

She actually advanced towards my roommates. It was a movement of inches and she squeezed my hand tight enough that I could feel my pulse fighting through my flesh. No trembling from her but also no breathing. Reminded me of something from an older movie involving people not being able to be seen by spirits so long as they didn’t breathe. Poor Rosa started to waver and she had to gulp the air, followed by a diminutive cough. Her cheeks, already bright from her earlier tears and panic, bloomed even further.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” Norah immediately hustled over and crouched in front of Rosa. Kasey soon followed and poked her head out too. Rosa’s eyes darted madly, but she didn’t pull away. Norah’s hand gently rested on her slim, soft shoulder. Rosa opened her mouth wider, as though preparing to speak, but couldn’t summon any words. The highest pitched squeak eventually popped out before she squeezed her mouth shut. She soon started to squirm and found a way to urgently express with her tiny voice, “…Bathroom.”

Norah swiftly made way and beckoned the petite girl towards the open door. I didn’t have any significant body strength, but I still felt like I could’ve hauled Rosa the rest of the way without her feet touching the ground. Bringing her around the corner, past the sinks, and into our bathroom didn’t take long. I dropped her jacket off on the hanger behind the door. She had to get her bearings as she gulped and stared at the toilet in front of her. I was about to exit and give her some privacy when she turned and clung to me, whispering, “No no no, please stay. I haven’t… I haven’t… I’ve been holding it since before the weight room.“

Considering things earlier with Lily, this seemed fine. But my inkling was to call over Norah or one of the other girls as a supervisor to make sure I didn’t screw this up. However, I also picked up on a clear sense of urgency in her body language. Lifting and bunching up her fancy dress, I urged her to lower her underwear and sit on the toilet. She didn’t seem prepared for that sudden, forward action and froze in place with her legs trembling. Her underwear was bright pink with edges of lace and smiling kittens all over. We ran out of time.

Rosa gave a small, plaintive whimper as she struggled to squeeze her legs together. A stream spilled down her leg and noisily splashed on the tile floor. Her slippers were immediately soaked, but I managed to protect her dress. During a lull, I summoned that theoretical, lifting energy. It was just enough to turn and safely deposit her on the lowered toilet seat. Before she could protest, I pulled her dress practically inside out over the top of her head. Probably not the best idea. Her fancy sleeves wouldn’t let her go, so all this did was blind her.

Somehow, I managed to get her underwear down and out of the way of the next wave. Then, I could work on freeing her from the dress. The door was closed but not locked. I had no idea what my roommates thought of whatever chaotic sounds they might be hearing.

Without too much trouble, I got Rosa to lift her arms enough to undo and slip her out of the rest of the dress. That left her with a small camisole and her bra hinted at underneath. I carefully hung up her dress before allowing myself a breath. The floor smelled and the small pool on the tile traveled down the lines of grout. Maybe I needed some help.

Rosalie looked absolutely broken, like a little clockwork doll wound too far. She peered far into the distance with her mouth slack and her hair slightly disheveled from undressing. When I proposed that I was going to ask my roommates for help, she glanced at me with wide fear in her eyes but ultimately dipped her head and didn’t object.

On the way out, I was quick to discover that my vine top and cross covered skirt caught some splash. So many little crises had to be resolved. Norah met me first, close to the door. All I had to say was that we needed some help and she went to work.

Towels, paper, and even a mop and bucket. She took over with helping Rosalie. I received orders to get a change of clothes for her from her dorm. Rosa reeled when we checked about her room number, but she soon quietly confirmed it. She had given it earlier, but it was better to make sure.

I wove my way through the clustered crowds loitering in the hallway and used the key in Rosa’s jacket to unlock her room. The overall aesthetic reminded me of other transformed places I’d seen today. Strings of colorful lights augmented the limited overhead illumination. A handful of scattered, half clothed men on the walls. Fabric as casual decoration. Comfortable couches. Waves, crystals, and butterflies were the key common room themes. Rosa‘s room was just as she had described it with nail products, a dedicated sewing area, plenty of colorful cosmetics, and lots of plushies.

Pushing open her closet, I grabbed a white and blue dress similar to the pink one she had on, added some random tops, one pair of jeans and a pair of lavender sweats, socks, rose covered slippers, and a stray gray skirt along with whatever underwear and bras settled to the top of her dresser. That was about as much as I could carry comfortably in my current state and clothes.

I dropped that load off on my bed and checked in to see how things were going. Norah had Rosa wrapped up in a massive towel as she led her into our shower. Without too much guidance or trouble, the petite girl stepped in and washed up. Norah set the massive towel on a rack to the side and stretched her neck. Miraculously, aside from Rosa’s hung up clothes, the room was as pristine as before all this happened.

Norah stepped into the hallway and quietly asked me, “So…like Lily?” She elaborated that Rosalie didn’t say much to her. I considered my words. The group in the common room had some clear delineations between girls from before and fledgling girls from today. That distinction likely seemed glaringly obvious with Rosa. At the same time, considering all she had gone through recently, I felt like I was betraying or outing her to say that much. Instead, I quickly shrugged and answered her question, “Just someone who looked like she needed some help.”

My roommate understood that my answer didn’t eliminate her assumption. She didn’t press the matter though. Despite all she had done, her clothes looked perfectly pristine. Mine were still irritatingly damp. She noticed and asked if I wanted a shower after my guest was done. Not that I was averse showers, but I already had one earlier. I opted to wash up a little in the sink and change back into the purple black cats and moons pajamas from earlier. Every variety of spray, soap, and lotion was at my disposal. I tried not to lay on the smells too heavy.

Rhea appeared to be taking care of laundry, so I added my clothes to her bundle. Kasey also busied herself. I felt vaguely useless even though I asked for help. Rosalie didn’t take too long in the shower before I heard the water shut off. Norah and I both met her at the shower door with towels. Her hair, still lightly braided, looked more like distressed rope used to lash down a boat in a storm. Rosa welcomed being buried in the depths of towels. Just a sliver of her face remained exposed. She appeared perfectly fine with wearing that dense bundle in perpetuity, but Norah nudged her towards getting dressed.

As I expected, she had the worst time with the underwear, especially getting past the holding and staring at it phase. I hadn’t intentionally grabbed anything more or less cute but all the bras that I grabbed had a lot more soft ornamentation than the one she started with. The panties also seemed much more silken and glittery. Instead of just slipping her original dress or one of the alternate options on, we put her in a loose top with sweatpants. The combo brought her some measure of relief even though I thought it made her look even younger. From there, the other girls took over with brushing her hair, redoing the braids, and wrapping her in a big blanket. She also received a mug of cocoa to sip.

Warily, Rosa pressed her face against the steam but slowly drank. Contented bliss washed over her. Drowsiness gripped her along with expected exhaustion, but she managed to set her cup on the table before getting too sleepy. Her earnest efforts to keep from drifting off reminded me of one of the videos we played earlier with a baby duck on a desk which just couldn’t stay awake. She even did the same little head shakes to try and clear the cobwebs.

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My roommates soon clustered around her with a variety of questions and comforts. Rhea offered up a heating pad while Kasey conjured up some soup to go with the cocoa. The most Rosa could manage from this onslaught of friendship was to quietly offer up her name. The whole thing.

Everyone remarked it was pretty, but no one made the connection to the school quarterback. Rosalie Eden Beck gave me a quick look of concern, as though she fretted that her life as a man had just been a fleeting dream from which she was now awakened. I could remedy that.

I could easily reach into my pocket and turn a specific beam on her and no one would ever know. It could make her even cuter. A focus on demure, cute, and hyper feminine qualities. My head swam with possibilities. But why? Why did I want to blast her with light so hard that, by the time I was done, she wouldn’t even be able to conceive of what boys had between their legs without blindly grappling for vague myths and blushing guesses? I didn’t feel like myself, if that notion made sense anymore.

A long, slow breath seemed appropriate to the moment without revealing my quiet panic. Rosalie gulped and deepened her soft blanket barrier before responding, “Actually, my name is Derrick Beck. Quarterback of the Cressman Comets…” She then relayed the same account of her afternoon as what she expressed to me.

My three roommates squinted at Rosa, as though if they saw her in the right light then the incongruity between what she was saying and her appearance would somehow resolve itself. Then she relayed that there was a message that appeared out of the air during the meeting. She had the first part of the message spot on. I continued the spiritual section when she got flaky on the details and touched upon the idea of people helping. I did my best to not appear guilty. Rosalie shivered despite the blanket.

“Nut job with some power,” Norah responded. I winced. She didn’t notice. Casey crumpled part of her top between her fingers as she worried about her boyfriend Drake and the fact that he hadn’t gotten back to her yet. She repeated a bit from earlier with the emphasis that he wasn’t a current student, but he sometimes spent a lot of time on campus and audited classes as an alumni with the intention to return to finish up his degree soon. I had no idea if people off-campus were affected or how they had to be tied to the school, but I reminded her of the busboy and cook in the cafeteria who weren’t affected. Some of her tension relaxed.

Rhea sat with us and helped Rosalie perk up and slowly sip the fluids they’d given her. Much of the unease and mortification from her accident lingered with the poor girl. She sought words of apology but Norah brushed off her concerns the strongest, reassuring her it was just one of those things that happened.

A happy, cheerful sweet melody traveled from down the hall. Kasey checked and returned with a glittery, pink phone with tiny, fluff ball baby chicks decorating the back. Rosa grabbed it and swaddled it in the blanket before tapping to respond.

She wrangled up her most confident greeting with more volume than I’d heard her use yet. That energy soon leaked out as her voice sunk to reply, “Hi…mom…”

Rosa got up and waddled down the hallway with the oversized blanket and her phone. While she was gone, my roommates pressed me for more details. I elaborated that we played a board game with birds and Rhea recognized it immediately. She deemed it interesting, but wished it had more “take that” mechanics. She delighted in Secret Hitler and One Night Werewolf. And she didn’t stop there, as she had an entire website pulled up itemizing her favorite games from every niche.

I appreciated this group that fate, choice, or chance may have placed me with. Norah took charge and brushed away stresses and fears. Kasey mothered with care and concern. And Rhea seemed like an exuberant free spirit eager to help out and include others. My only wish was that everyone on campus feeling lost, confused, and uncertain could have people around like them like this trio. We saw positive signs here and there and during supper. I wanted it to be more like them and less like the strange inklings clawing at me like a mad whisper from my benefactor. Help and create, not twist and destroy.

Not that my benefactor was destroying things. She… or he… had their reasons for what they did. But I felt my purpose drifting from what they gave me to what I found in the common room. I wanted to see a smile on Rosalie‘s face rather than so many tears and such fear. The easy way would be to reshape her with the light I’d been granted. But I never really went for the easy way.

Aside from the board game, I passed along that I ran into some former boys that I knew and was considering inviting them over when things started to settle down. At the very least, they both seemed like they could desperately use Rhea’s braiding fu. Norah was particularly excited by the fact they sounded geeky. I alluded to the changes in the RAs. Kasey was actually familiar with Colin and hoped that he was holding up well. Everyone could tell it was more than just Colin on her mind though. The bookstore where Drake apparently worked was in a nearby small town full of rich people who commuted to the Hollywood area. Anthony’s roommate Drew apparently lived there, the one-armed guy in the motorized wheelchair.

It didn’t take too long for Rosa to shuffle back with her phone squeezed tight and her massive blanket not quite touching the floor. We all listened quietly as she drew in a few careful breaths and adjusted her renewed but still slightly damp braids.

“My mom called… and she was checking in because she was confused by an automated call and text message she received from Cressman University talking about an unprecedented event. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t hurt. She called me…her precious little princess. My brothers were there too. Just making sure it wasn’t an infection like legionnaires or norovirus. They heard cases of dorms back East having outbreaks of those. I had no clue what to say, but I guess I said enough that they didn’t think I was being weird. I just used the bathroom again…it was fine. I think I understand how to… am beginning to understand how… So I don’t make a mess again. Sorry.”

She sniffed a little and the other girls made sure she had plenty of tissue as she slunk back over to her spot on the couch. I could hear her stomach making some noisy gurgles, as though it were a trapped cacophony of all the fearful things she couldn’t bring herself to speak.

After taking a careful sip of her soup and then a long one of her cooling cocoa, Rosalie cleared her throat and said, “That wasn’t my family. My mom didn’t want girls. If she had had who I am now… then, I would’ve been adopted to someone else. She should’ve yelled at me, my brothers should’ve acted like they wanted to kick my ass. They were so sweet and cheerful and protective and concerned… And I feel like I plunged down a hole into another world and I’m still falling…”

She continued to sniffle, but the unrelenting tempest of tears didn’t return. Rosa was still desperately broken, cracked, and about to fall apart, and I truly had no idea what to do for her. But the other girls around me had plenty to say. Norah encouraged Rosalie to expressed herself to her family. If she didn’t want to be a pretty little princess, then she had to tell them. No matter how she looked, they urged her that every dream, hope, love, ambition, and joy would always burn inside her. Don’t let yourself be dictated by what others see and what weight the world places upon you.

That warming sentiment not only brought Rosa to relax her grip on her comfortable blanket, but it also instilled me with a faint. treasured sense of peace that I knew would soon trickle away. Behind that feeling, I felt a weird ache on my left side where I had transferred the flashlight from my dampened skirt to the pajama pants. This pocket was no better than that one.

The light wasn’t on, but I could feel something radiating out from it. Like a pulse, like a thundering heartbeat.