Yuri Worlds

[115] Hope

Kei attentively and motherly escorted Misaki on her way, and Misaki took every opportunity she could to mine little details from Yuka's life and seed them in her mother's thoughts. Wasn't there someone else they knew who liked that certain space show? How did they become acquainted with Naoko and Kosame? Wasn't it strange that there were a lot of extra toys along with a bed and arranged table space in addition to Haruka's room upstairs? And so forth. She pressed without pushing, and the mom had carefully considered but flimsy responses. Kei was intuitive, and something inside her began to sift through the noise and put little pieces of realization together.

Ayame wasn't present at the clinic, but a sign explained that she would be back shortly. They continued to the shrine, where Misaki personally confirmed that it had received the necessary funds not only for a tribute area to Okura Maharu but also to establish a support fund for hybrid human-animal girls. Misaki took some time to offer up prayers to the departed.

She had considered placing her offering at the Okura family home, but the old lady communicated through Naoko that she didn't expect to be around for long, certainly not long enough for the tribute that her granddaughter deserved. The impromptu shrine in the old hotel was respected, but the setup would eventually be moved to a nicer location. This was the most appropriate place.

Going through her bags, Misaki retrieved a set of pressed, preserved sakura blossoms and a gleeful blue monkey yelling while riding a rocket set for space. It would've been a perfect companion for the screaming whale, but it deserved to be here. Besides those things, she left a beautiful, glittering candle that she lit and left with a solemn prayer and a heartfelt wish. That wasn't enough.

She went out into the forest by herself to the cabin, where their lives changed forever. She's gotten permission from the local government and the shrine to place an engraved plaque beside a tree in that clearing. It had Maharu's name and a little story about a princess from a magical land who danced through the forest, and, though she fell, she got up and continued to dance with a smile on her face. As she made sure the plaque was secure, a little light fluttering of the breeze pressed against her hair, and a warmth like a friendly presence bent over her shoulder.

When she stood up, all traces of that presence were gone, but she knew it had been there. She said one last prayer and left.

Hunting around the forest area for where they left their phones was not the part that Misaki looked forward to. The patch at this bright time of day compared to the middle of the night seemed like two entirely different places. Fortunately, they had disturbed quite a lot of moss while running away, and an obvious groove had been retained on the ground, leading her right to the marked tree.

As expected, neither phone turned on, and they were flecked with dirt, dampness, twiggy weeds, and damage to their cases from the elements. But Bianka was skilled, and she was sure the girl would be able to recover some of the photos and data to bring back home.

Cutting across from the forest to the fields, Misaki marveled at the landscape. So many things had tinted her simple enjoyment of this place, but taking in the sharp tones of the sky, breathing in the softly fluttering wind, and standing there with hope in her heart brought back the purity of her first glimpse.

"Be careful."

The words arrived just loud enough to hear, carried from far away but as clear as though they had been spoken right by her ear. Misaki had to look around several times in all directions before she finally spotted Haruka sitting off to the side and staring at the same sky. Her robe was long, flowing, and practically matched the tall grasses stretching in all directions.

She approached Haruka and asked her what she meant.

"The company doesn't care about any of us. All they care about is getting what they want. Whatever deal you and my sister made with them doesn't matter if you do something they don't like. So, be very careful, please."

Misaki agreed without complaint or question. However, she didn't know how much she could do about that warning since she was wholly at the whim and mercy of the company if she wanted to visit her wife. They talked for a short while, with Haruka calmly apologizing as though she were waking from a long dream and listing out her sins within. Everything she did, though, she made clear was by choice.

"I thought that by helping a little bit and making myself useful to them, I could earn safety and security for my loved ones. And we keep making the same mistake. I wasn't allowed to do anything about the danger that Joshua Feland presented to my...biological sibling. I still searched for ways to suggest it to you and others. But it wasn't enough; I secretly did so many things to learn more and find a way. But it still wasn't enough. My penitence shall be long, and I accept it."

Haruka explained that she left the restraints on Yuka just loose enough that she knew she would be able to get out of them. That and a dozen other little ways were how she hoped to move the hands of fate as much as possible. About her grandmother, she noted that she had stopped the old woman from jigai tanto several times, but she doubted she'd be able to stop her forever. Misaki put together that it was a version of what she knew as seppuku.

"Why can't there be happiness for all of us? Why is it like this? Why is there such a struggle?" Misaki didn't expect those words to come out of her mouth, but she felt them, and she couldn't restrain them.

The girl, with usually pristine white hair that looked ever so slightly smudged by where she was, tilted her head back, took a deep breath, and responded, "There was a time when I believed in many things. I was small and young. I knew nothing and everything. I believed in a world of pure happiness. But that is not this world or any other. These are worlds of reality, harsh and cruel. We have to work hard to make them beautiful. And, even then, nothing is guaranteed. Yes, there is the company, but there are always people and things like the company. The cruel exploit the weak because they can and because it serves their needs and wants. We will always struggle against those forces. The only thing we can hope to do is protect one another." She released a long breath and had no further words to offer Misaki.

The notions espoused by Haruka grated against her feelings and sensibilities. Optimism didn't have to die as you got older. No one had to resign themselves to fighting the forces of darkness and cruelty as a battle that could never be won. Her small, frail little sentiment at the end couldn't be all the hope that was out there. There had to be more, but she didn't have the words or energy to verbally tussle with the elder Sasaki sister.

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It wasn't an argument; it was hardly anything, but Misaki took a deep breath and declared, more for herself than anyone else, "I choose to believe in hope and love as the greatest power in any dark, cold world, one that will always bring light and life... Don't forget your adopted moms. They miss you. Take care, Miss Sasaki Haruka. I hope we see each other again sometime, and I hope that is a happy time."

And she left, not looking back to see how Haruka responded to her tightly clutched words with clinging, trembling hands. The girl didn't call out or call her back; it was like she wasn't even there anymore.

Misaki followed a crude road to get back to the main one, taking her to the entrance of the clinic with the sign down and the door unlocked. The inside felt exactly the same as she had left it, although the burned-out light on the side had been replaced with a fresh, gleaming bulb and a pristine cover that cast a sharper, starker light than all the others around it. She squinted and looked around. The slumping, bloated teddy bear with a flopped-over book and cape appeared as exhausted as she felt right then, with all the little worries, feelings, and fears pin-balling around her consciousness.

Ayame wasn't in the waiting room lobby. Instinctually, Misaki braced herself for a distant, shouted diatribe with all sorts of incoherent terminology and meaning, a sure sign that the company was still poking around her quartz-like psychic radio consciousness. But the girl with orange hair, who was older than she looked, casually made her way out of the staff bathroom with a small rectangular phone pressed against her ear and affectionate words spilling out. She had to be talking to her daughters. But it wasn't the most normal conversation.

"Mucus is not going to eat you. The expectorant warriors will take it down. Just keep in your little cave of solitude next to the humidifier. You better watch Blinka, though. I think she's eyeing your cookies. She's probably going to sell them in her secret shop in the worm realm. Be good; don't bother your sisters while they're studying, and I'll make you the best soup you've ever had when I get home. And I'll use my magic touch to make all the bad things go away. Love you and rest... you goofball." The mention of cookies made Misaki realize that the variety sugar cookies that Fiona prepared especially for Naoko still needed to be delivered along with her little sister's travel-safe, best cooking effort to give thanks to the moms for hosting them.

Silvia made it absolutely clear that this was not her full reimbursement for their kind and amazing hosting. It was closer to her first payment in an installment plan and the best that she could send along with her sister. Ideally, Silvia requested that Misaki use those exact words if they asked. She was tempted to surely embarrass her sister by spilling all her frantic, fervent truths about needing to repay her debt. Tempted, although not heavily so.

Setting her phone down on the counter, Ayame spread out her arms and gleefully beckoned Misaki into a hug that felt like half of a Maharu-level professional wrestling move. Misaki wiggled a little as it was clear that Ayame, once she had her in her loving grasp, wasn't going to let her go. They caught up with the broad strokes, details, and minutia of their lives since the craziness in the white corridors and the uncertainty of the deep dive she did inside her soul.

Misaki was sure she had an explanation for what the nurse ran across when trying to fish illness out of her essence. With everything they talked about before in the white place and since through Naoko on the communication device, Ayame understood in broad strokes that her friend Yuka/Cerberus was a chimeric creation of the company blending humanity and a primal dark essence that existed in the seams between realities they tortured and manipulated with suffering until it did what they wanted. Ayame lamented that they couldn't do anything about the young ones in the wristbands still within the assembly line of the company's cruelty.

But the nurse pointed out, "What I felt inside you is complicated for me to understand. It left me speechless and confused for a good while before I figured it out. I agree that it's probably connected to having a part of Yuka within you. But it wasn't just that, and it wasn't something dark you were hosting. I was wrong… As I said, you have a remarkable power and a remarkable strength that I can scarcely comprehend and that I hope you nurture. It's not there because of Yuka, the company, or anyone else. It's you in a very special and unique way. And I'd like to believe that part of you, that fundamental and essential you, is absolutely beautiful, and that's what Yuka fell in love with, not spirit narcissism or some other scientific mumbo-jumbo those fuckers wanna throw out as they try to handle everyone like puppets on strings to shove their disgusting voices through."

That was a beautiful and hopeful notion for Misaki to hear, even though she wondered if Ayame was just trying to reassure her the same way as her under-the-weather daughter. The nurse added that she had been monitoring the others after the little black, protective buttons essence that Misaki gave them eventually wore away. The company didn't appear to have made any more incursions or possessions that she could sense or see, and she was now attuned to that invasive frequency. She admitted that they had probed her a couple times, especially when she was sleeping, but she easily pushed them out.

Clearing that heavy topic, they chatted casually for a while as Ayame made some tea for her guest and then suddenly perked up and smiled blissfully as she noted, "Oh, by the way, congratulations!"

Misaki frowned, bewildered by that statement, turning it over and repeating it a few times. Ayame approached her, set her arms on her shoulders, moved them to her waist, and nodded her head once. She informed her that she had a natural nausea and vomiting aid that she knew worked well from experience.

Still, what she was getting at went over her head until Ayame glanced right at her abdomen and then back up at her eyes.

"...Oh...oh....OHHHHH! Oh, oh, oh! Wha... but... is that possible? There was just… Maybe one time..."

Ayame winked. "Clearly, the intention was there, as was the acceptance. It only needs to happen once. Let me get you those medicines. I can also give you a spiritual boost for the months ahead with just the right treatment."

Misaki agreed to all that, feeling stunned and rather dumbstruck. The months ahead will surely bring challenges, but also joy and hope ready to blossom within. She smiled faintly and cradled herself.

She couldn't wait to share the happy news with everyone, especially her beloved Cerberus.