Close Encounters of the Bus Kind
[27]
Nadia felt woozy. She still wasn’t processing the events unraveling before her. The Sapphic love necklace that Erin gave her didn’t even register in her mind as a problem or something to conceal. This sort of thing only came up once with her original family, in the most bewildering way.
Her mother had the Lifetime Network on all the time back then and Paul wound up with a decent exposure to The Golden Girls, Designing Women, and China Beach. For some reason lost to time and memory, Paul’s mother asked him how lesbians even “do it”. Wandering through college and still stirring the possibilities of what might have been with Erin Reeves, Paul had not the faintest clue what to say in response. He could’ve said a lot of things pieced together from the Internet, but none of them were things he wanted to utter in front of his mom.
“I don’t know…” was probably the best answer. It didn’t stop there though. His mother then launched into what he suspected was the main focus of her questions: Are you gay?
Paul could say without qualification or hesitation that he liked women and spoke sincerely to his mother about that. He just had no idea how to advance from greetings and friendship into something more. It was always friends or being nice or hanging out. He didn’t even really have anything in mind when he made that flower for Erin. He just thought it would be nice and make her smile.
“Don’t be gay. Please, don’t be gay. It’ll make life so much harder for you to be gay. So, don’t do it,” she declared.
He always idly wondered a few things about his mom, especially with her disregard for his father and every uncomfortable hint about their sex life. So, he did his best not to be gay, not that he was trying to go in that direction or away from it. But his position and…things had been changed by becoming Nadia.
She wanted to explain that to her new mom in a way that didn’t feel nuts, but how? Even though she revealed that it was a gift from Erin, she hadn’t admitted one way or the other what it meant. The only witness to the conflict was Luna. In the back room, her half-sisters were watching a movie. In the front room, her two younger brothers and two other sisters had on something from a streaming service. She was getting suspicious looks in her direction, but no one seemed to have figured out what she and mom were at odds about. Nadia quickly climbed up the stairs before her mother said anything else.
In her bedroom, she changed out of her grimy clothes and searched around for something comfortable. She settled on a white sport shirt with striped red sleeves. A pair of gray polyester pants with bands of red white and black along the sides also sufficed.
Looking in the mirror, she marveled at how normal her reflection felt. How the shape of her breasts in the top didn’t feel unnatural or alien anymore. And the way that the pants traced the sloping curves of her hips and thighs. Then, especially the flatness as she squeezed her legs together and crossed them, left on top of the right. Her legs nervously trembled despite the fact she felt warm enough in these clothes and her room.
Nadia did her best to arrange herself comfortably on her bed. She could tap open her phone and look for messages from her friends, but she feared that her mother was about to show up, see it, and take away that delicate connection she had to the others. The computer was over there to the left, but she felt too antsy to sit in the chair.
Why was she being punished? Didn’t parents in the 2020s not jump to crazy conclusions just because their kids are into weird jewelry? In this case, the assumption was right on the money but much more complicated than she could ever explain. Should she run away? Could she? She hadn’t tried the windows, but she would’ve assumed that they would be locked for safety reasons.
This wasn’t her family. It was just one she was thrown into by forces she didn’t understand. Maybe that Beyond woman was responsible for it. In that case, they were clearly trying to isolate her. She folded her arms and felt herself coming to the strengthening conclusion that she didn’t belong here anyway, and she had to get out. Her father seemed very nice and loving, but her mother was far too protective. She tolerated all sorts of stuff as Paul from a pretty crazy family and then an even more difficult extended family.
Running away from home. It showed up in movies and TV shows and always seemed to resolve itself happily by the end, as only things in fiction could. She had no illusions that she would be able to come back from this. This was saying goodbye to the Baris family. She would miss Luna, especially for the hopeful sign that she was some sort of unknown variable.
Before she could go beyond the ruminating phase for this plan, she had to check if it was at all viable. The windows behind her bed did open but were far too small. She could just barely fit her head through them. And the big window to her left only opened part of the way with enough space to get one arm through. What clearly had to be one of her sisters’ rooms had two large windows, but they also only opened up slightly onto the fake mini patio that decorated the front. Each and every room she tried had the same limitation until the massive master bedroom and the window behind the couch.
It was higher up but also opened all the way to easily permit her entire body to slide through in a quick test. She had to squish down her boobs to get through comfortably, but it was just enough space. With that resolved, Nadia quietly returned to her room and waffled between whether she would do it or whether she would wait. If she waited, then she could have a solid foundation and certainty about what her mother demanded of her. If it was unreasonable, then she would leave.
But this was how it always went, ambition and hope dangled out before Paul so many times. He stood on the ledge of a true choice so many times, and he retreated. No, no matter what was her mother’s reasoning, she had no right to take something from her that a friend gave as a gift. No matter the content of that gift, it was hers. Feeling the rush of this emotion, she dashed over to her room and composed a note explaining what she was doing.
She vigorously emphasized respect for her personal property. She denounced her mother’s assumptions about her character. And she made sure to say that she loved them, and she was sorry that she had to do this, but she had her own life. Nadia left no hints as to where she was going but wrote that they could leave text messages on her phone, and she would receive them. She promised her parents she would be safe. Writing the note felt like a huge step but, after all she had been through as an adult with so many years of experience and failure, being shoved into the treatment of a little kid was not something she could tolerate. Serious things were happening, the entire world could be at stake, and the fact that her mother was getting mad at her over a dumb necklace just lit a fire in her soul.
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Folding the note and placing it in an obvious spot in the room, Nadia packed her sports bag with some of her clothes, her purse, and whatever snacks she could find around the room that didn’t look inedible. Since she left her shoes at the front door, she dug around for a pair in the closet that looked durable enough to crawl across the roof. All that settled, she turned and looked towards the master bedroom.
Luna stood in the doorway with her hands folded in front of her. She hadn’t even heard her. Like a little ninja. Nadia jerked back and secured her bag while taking a deep breath.
“Hey, sis. I’m sorry. I gotta go. Mom went too far. She’s not actually my mom anyway. And you’re not actually my little sister. It’s one big… It’s complicated. I wish you were my sister. You’re the best kind of little sister anyone could ever ask for. I want you to know that this is not because of you. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is all on me. Okay?“
Luna stood there, staring up at her sister. Her features were inscrutable and her expression blank. For several long moments, she feared that Luna might turn her in and ruin this whole plan. Part of her wanted to get caught. She could only imagine that running away would be a pain in the ass. She had to crawl across the roof and then hope that she could get over the fence without being seen and then have to walk and walk and walk with no idea where the bus stops were on this side of town or if the bus even ran at this hour.
“…Okay. I love you. Be safe.” Luna rushed over and wrapped her arms around her big sister. Instantly, Nadia felt queasy in her stomach about even saying to Luna that she wasn’t her sister. But she didn’t know what to say now to make it better, so she just hugged the kid tightly, kissed her on the top of the head, and promised her she would be safe while saying that she loved her too.
To buy her some time, she asked if Luna could keep mom downstairs and distracted. Her sister slowly nodded. No more time to question and doubt.
Even when she was out the window with her bag secured, Nadia still reminded herself that she could back out. It took pressing the window shut behind her. But even then she could tumble into the backyard and come up with some confabulation about why and how she got into the backyard without anyone noticing.
The roof was not comfortable to sit on and quite unsteady underfoot. Evening was starting to spread on all sides, darkly filling the holes in the cloud cover that had emerged with the light of the sun. It wasn’t yet dark enough that she needed a flashlight, although she did wonder if she should’ve brought one for later in her journey. The phone light would have to suffice.
As far as getting down from the roof, there was a slight projection on the side which didn’t face the neighbor's windows but allowed her to carefully stretch a foot down towards the tall fence. The side gate was locked and latched, but she was able to maneuver herself while holding onto the painfully rough stucco of the house. Climbing over the last obstacle was an easy task for her springy and flexible body.
She was out. She could still go back though. It wouldn’t be easy. But she could place everything that was upset back where it had been. Maybe her mother had a very good reason for everything, which she just needed to hear out. Nadia took a deep breath and walked along the fence and to the sidewalk and then she just kept walking. No going back.
It was scary to take this step. This was what girls like Erin did when faced with family uncertainty. This is what Leslie had done when faced with a flood of thoughts that dragged her under.
Paul, and likely Nadia as well, didn’t do this kind of thing. He obeyed, he remained quiet, and did what was asked of him. It was kind of thrilling to just be off on her own, even though it was how things had been for quite a while. She was breaking rules, she was flying in the face of what people told her to do.
God, she felt like such a goody two shoes. For other teenagers, boys and girls, sneaking out like this was probably low on the totem pole of rebellion, but it still felt like a giant step into the unknown. Her parents would still take her back, but she was totally going to be punished. They weren’t her parents though, but it still felt like they were.
She walked in whatever direction felt right and took her away from her house. Unfortunately, it was a housing tract and that meant a labyrinthine maze of cul-de-sacs and short streets. It was practically as frustrating as trying to navigate the pocket space at the abandoned Sears. Her mind did her the additional disservice of envisioning dark monsters that lived in this kind of area, just waiting to ensnare her like trap door spiders.
Oh, yeah? Well, she would use her massive powers of making other people’s powers stronger and being able to speak every human language to bend those giant residential spiders to her will. She was in the middle of this thought when she heard a strangely familiar voice call out to her from the street.
“Nadi?…”
Stopped in the middle of the road was a beat-up, blue truck and leaning his head out of the driver’s side window was her father. So much for running away. She couldn’t even do that right. Got lost in the same housing area and the man who is supposed to be her father caught her.
Nadia considered just making a break for it, but she was already starting to feel brutally tired from everything. Not sure what else to do, she just broke down crying on the sidewalk, tears streaming down her face like she was trying to challenge Leslie for anguish.
Swiftly, barely putting his truck in park, Mr. Baris leaped from his vehicle and was at her side in a heartbeat.
“My princess. My dear, sweet daughter. What is wrong? What happened? What is going on? Please tell me.”
On some level, Nadia suspected that her father was placed here by forces she scarcely understood. She vividly imagined that as soon as she unraveled her story for her father, then he would be just as upset as her mother. Maybe, for the consideration of her tears, he would stuff all the anger deep inside and go with the same parental lines of how they would talk about it as a family or talk about it later. Just give me a minute and so forth and push her aside.
But at least she had this quiet moment of a father holding his daughter, without judgment or anger, and just wanting to make everything better… Even though she knew that he couldn’t.