A Brand New Goth Girl
[12]
Hopefully, that might help. My parents weren’t particularly touchy-feely, and it sounded like Derrick’s family might be the same way. Not that I expected that hugs and closeness would just heal everything. But I had seen so much care happening in the cafeteria between those girls who had the experience of years assisting those with the experience of just hours.
I had to be cognizant though that it might actually be detrimental and stressful to crowd close and push social interaction on her. I couldn’t tell if she was just demurely tolerating me. She went here and isolated herself in a jacket. She blotted out the world while waiting for some answer to what she was supposed to do with her life now.
To keep my mind off that, I spread out the game and we read through all the instructions. She focused on it more than I was expecting. I soon found myself daunted by all the rules involving bird habitats, synergistic effects, and how to count points with eggs and tokens. However, Rosa was soon explaining parts of the game to me so that I understood. The gameplay was rather light, without any competitive crossover. I had to wonder if her football frame of reference meant that this style of game was boring by comparison, but she got really active in placing and playing her birds.
What I didn’t realize as we got started was this was not a short game. Thankfully, it was just the two of us, otherwise, the playtime would’ve spiraled into epic length, especially with the myriad of themed pieces. We both enjoyed the little dice birdhouse and Rosa especially looked forward to opportunities to re-roll.
At some point, our little game was gently interrupted by a couple of assistants. Each of them nervously apologized and only offered vague resolutions about when the meeting was going to happen and what they had to share. The main one who showed up and kept returning had streaked darker blonde hair than Rosa that fell across her head in a surreal look. It vaguely reminded me of a wig even though it was clearly her own hair. The cut of it, dangling above her shoulders in practically a straight line seemed somewhere between eminently fashionable and vaguely robotic. Like she stepped out of a 1990s sci-fi series on syndicated television.
Her snug, white long-sleeved turtleneck, and spandex blend reddish-brown pants especially reinforced this perception. Furthermore, while her bust didn’t quite best Keith’s, she was definitely pushing the threshold as far as I dared modify my form. She stumbled when shifting around the billiards table.
Scrutinizing her face, I could see some traces of Colin, our senior residence hall assistant, especially around the eyes like with Marshall. Her eyes lingered on our game and she gave a faint smirk as she remarked, “That’s a game I absolutely would’ve picked if they gave us a budget for board games here at… not Carting…Mead. Gonna take some getting used to, but it had another name before I got here. Or it used to. Some real Mandela Effect stuff. Sorry.”
I had some sense of what Colin was getting at. Altered reality. My former roommates didn’t remember me but my new ones did. Although I found it incongruent that more people didn’t just recognize me as Beatrice around the dorm. Was it by virtue of being the first? How come no one else was edited quite the way I was? That should’ve been a question I left to my benefactor.
We chatted with Colin, who gave her current name as Carol, about the gameplay mechanics and questioned when this supposed meeting would take place. It sounded quite evident that the campus was a mess of uncertainty. The people in charge wanted to trip the alarms while the rest of the world remained bewildered about what was the problem with our panicking, private little Lutheran girls' school.
Naturally, Colin didn’t remember Taylor Lee but that didn’t signify much, considering I was never the sort to stand out. Furthermore, I barely avoided a blush when she admitted that her casual expectation was that I had always been a girl, from her perception of my overall demeanor, and that I was comforting one of the “afflicted residents”. Derrick Beck, on the other hand, Carol immediately recognized by name and athletic reputation. Rosa wilted slightly under Carol’s frown. She did her best to be cordial in this uncomfortable situation, but she clearly appeared disappointed.
My fellow bird collector stared blankly at the cormorants and vultures neatly set in front of her. She didn’t rage and flip the player board or the table. She clung to her tissues though and dabbed them gently against her face when Carol had to step out. I softly stroked Rosa’s head. She surely had tears left but not the energy to cry them. We continued to play into the next round.
The game was close and Rosa diligently kept a vivid awareness of the rules even though her heart didn’t seem to be in it. I didn’t specifically rush the game, but I did skip some rather obvious opportunities for scoring once a loosely composed crowd started ambling over. The girls gave us our space, even though we did gain an onlooker carefully observing our competition. She had dark brown hair that appeared as though it had just been ruffled by a violent wind or an unruly dryer.
Her black top displayed a thin curve of cleavage that she appeared simultaneously self-conscious about and mildly proud of. Stockings that rose out of sight beneath her white tartan skirt caught my interest even though I expected that Beatrice had something similar stashed away in her drawers. A threshold of chaos soon passed with the addition of several more girls. Despite having a smaller group than the cafeteria, the volume soon climbed to a similar level. Fortunately, we actually managed to complete the game aside from tabulating our scores.
As we double-checked how the instructions said we were supposed to add everything up, a pair of girls peeked into the room and their eyes widened and settled on me.
“Taylor?”
Quite a few blonde girls. This one loomed in the doorway with a truly stupendous curly sheet of hair unfurling all the way to her waist. A large black purse balanced on her hip as she smiled and wore a relatively loose-fitting blue hoodie. Her chest seemed on par with Carol’s. I appeared to buck the norm when it came to bra size. Rosa was in the same neighborhood as my first form though, at least as far as I could tell with her dress.
The girl beside the blond immediately earned my sympathy. Despite a bright red jacket doing its best to downplay, she easily had the most striking shape of anyone I’d encountered on campus. A major challenge to Keith. She had lovely, long brown hair and striking green eyes. It was those eyes that particularly earned my curiosity. I knew them from somewhere.
It didn’t take long before I had my answer. The duo was Zach and Connor. I relayed that my name was now Beatrice and they relayed theirs were Trisha and Riona respectively. The only one missing was Anthony. After that energetic reveal, it almost seemed like we’d exhausted all the things to say to one another in such a short span. Or perhaps there were too many things to say and not enough avenues to present them properly. I noticed that they often exchanged glances with one another, as though keeping a special secret. I wondered what it could be. I hoped it was a good one.
After an awkward spell of silence within the rumble of people starting to show up in the area, we all received quick and noisy text messages. Mercifully, the college had opted not to use the loudest screaming one for government alerts, but it was still enough to make Rosa jump.
The extent of the message was just relaying a reused recommendation from several years ago to shelter in place and await instructions with the addition of “Events this afternoon have raised questions and fears. The administration is wholly dedicated to answering all questions and assuaging all fears. Your residence hall staff will update you soon on all urgent matters. Have a blessed day.“ The delivery time was wildly inconsistent, but soon everyone was on the same page.
We started carefully packing all the pieces to the game back in the slots and plastic baggies with Zach and Connor commenting and lamenting they missed out. I promised them we would eventually finish a game that wasn’t interrupted by unexplainable events. For all I’d witnessed with the earlier chaos in the immediate aftermath stretching from this location to the rest of campus, seeing my recent roommates transformed hadn’t really hit me. Even the stuff with Brian happening live wasn’t the craziest thing. But something about my interactions with Zach and Connor smacked me like the hardest version of Coca-Cola.
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Perhaps it was also a cumulative effect, compounded by seeing the altered fate of our star quarterback. Rosalie squeezed my hand as tightly as she probably used to squeeze footballs. At least we didn’t need to wait much longer before the event convened.
A small group of girls with their residence hall assistant badges stood apart from everyone else with some papers in their arms and Carol at the center. A cluster of original girls remained off to the side as though they were expectant parents encouraging their kids to perform well on the stage.
There were some awkward quiet moments when the meeting proper started along with some delays to make sure everyone was settled and present. During one of my prior efforts to stir the currents of my creativity into something active, I estimated how many people could fit in each residence hall. The first-year quartet over on the cafeteria side of campus had about ten suites each. The set including the newly rechristened Sampson Hall was closer to seventeen on average. And then there were scattered old and new stuff which broke the formula with two-person suites, individual apartments, and even some six-person mega areas. At least Carting/Mead kept it simple the last time I checked with thirty regular suites and a threshold of 120. It definitely appeared like we’d packed in roughly all fifty-ish original boy residents. My former roommates eventually showed up.
Carol’s serious tone lightly contrasted with her absurd, sci-fi pants. She began with a quick invocation to prayer leaving some ambiguity for alternative worship. If nothing else, it seemed to steady her resolve as she relayed the situation we all knew quite well. At some time in the afternoon, boys started turning into girls. Hearing it said aloud, bluntly and unmistakably, just magnified the surreal sense of the setting. While she invited everyone present to offer up any urgent, concerning questions and dilemmas, they were to wait till the end of the presentation. I contemplated bringing up the fact that I appeared to be the very first person transformed, something that Zack and Connor likely also realized. We kept quiet though.
The most important point was that class tomorrow would be suspended. No matter the situation, that earned a ripple of relief and some light cheers. Professors and other staff would have office hours during what had been class time to discuss curriculum and classroom order going forward after all the departments evaluated such things. I casually wondered what my main art teacher looked like now. He’d already threaded flowers in his long hair. I couldn’t imagine what more might’ve been done to him. A general murmur probably posited similar questions.
The staff relayed that they would be coming around to each suite to discuss urgent and private matters and also keep up with the existing rules and code of conduct. They stressed that, despite the changes, that didn’t change the fact that no opposite-sex residents or guests could stay in the dorms late, which I always found to be a silly rule but those were private college things. That meant no boys staying over after active hours. That whammy lingered with the group.
Assurances were made that products, education, and counseling would be available for everyone in this uncertain time along with free long-distance, out-of-state, and international calls in the residence hall office. A bunch of other matters drifted in the general vicinity over my head and seemed to do the same for others as a dull roar became white noise. The RAs endeavored to bring order back but their efforts were stymied when a golden shimmer drifted through the center of the room. At the center of that illumination, a golden parchment unfurled and dropped to the ground like an awkward paper plane.
I felt a presence despite the overall chaos of so many people crunched into one place. It was like what I felt in serenity in Sampson and especially during the moment I first became Beatrice. My benefactor.
No one approached the document at first, perhaps hoping that if they ignored it long enough then it might reverse its trajectory and disappear back into the ether. Connor, who had a straight path right to it, went ahead and approached the mysterious document. He always did seem rather bold like that. Zach appeared as though her roommate had just decided to step out onto a windy ledge leading straight into the Grand Canyon.
“I am the one who changed you and I am watching all the time. My embrace of your spirit is permanent. You shall all be girls for the rest of your lives. But do not stress and fear. This is a precious gift. Your spirits have been awakened in ways you have only begun to imagine. And the world will slowly adapt to the sweet melodies of your new lives, as shall you all. I am not a god or goddess. I have only found a gift to share with all around me. And I have further found and am still seeking kindred to help others in their journey. They will guide you through the peaks and valleys and physical and emotional challenges that lie ahead for all of you. There is no turning back. Join your sisters in your future.” Connor read that aloud with a surprisingly reserved but clear speaking tone as everyone silently listened.
Connor peered at the margins of the document, turned it around a few times, and filtered the overhead lights through it before finally concluding, “That’s all that’s written.”
Naturally, chaos absolutely exploded throughout the room. No amount of pleading or commands from the RAs really restored order. I checked in on poor Rosa next to me. Her head had dipped forward so much that it practically seemed bowed. No tears. She appeared beyond tears, practically a spectral being doomed to wander, flitting in and out of visible reality. I wanted to stroke her hair again or give her the biggest hug possible, but I doubted that anything I did would’ve gotten through to her at this moment. So, I just held her warmly and securely as she wobbled on the cushion.
Tears and fury broke out not only amongst the gathered former boys but amidst the entourage of legacy girls. Pissed-off sentiments about lost boyfriends, tormented siblings, and altered minds. If they had torches, they would’ve thrown them. I felt sorry for my benefactor even while I understood the anger and bristled about some of the things said in the document.
Some of it was jealousy, with the allusion to others she selected for gifts like mine. More of it was the tone of this proclamation. Despite denouncing the label of divinity, the whole thing felt structured and ordained with spiritual subtext. And I further felt mildly disappointed that she wasn’t a goddess. So much uncertainty around such a commanding missive.
It took quite a bit of effort, but Carol soon brought everyone back in order. She gave no certainties about what this mysterious appearance represented, stressing that we were all to head back to our rooms for early quiet hours as soon as the meeting adjourned. Papers were passed out but most were crumpled up and stuffed away. The group expressed more interest in confirming the text of the golden message than anything from the administration.
I couldn’t do much more for the overall group than I could blow the ocean in the direction I wanted. Rosalie helped with putting away the board game even though she did it as though drifting aimlessly across the room. When she returned, I asked her if she wanted to head back to her dorm or spend some time in mine. She seemed puzzled for a second, about to invoke the mention of coed fraternizing, before she slowly nodded. Zack and Connor brought me into the most adventurous and unexpected hugs I ever experienced. Thank goodness I didn’t model myself in that direction. I wondered if I might be able to use the light to scale things down. Neither of them seemed terribly uncomfortable though, at least not to the same level as poor Rosalie.
She clung to my side as we crept through the masses of girls and back to the dorm.