Dennet slid past the doorway into the Rare closet, popped up, and gushed. “What a movie! I mean, it was bad, but it had a budget for once, and they used it. Four stars overall, two if you care about plot and characters. Anyone else see Harassers Dynamite!!: The Motion Picture yet?”

Burmin Trivvis looked up from the scale model of a Splendida city block he was building, complete with construction sites and fire decals. “I can't say that I have, but a lot of people seem excited. I know one family was planning to go see it as soon as we saved their house.”

“You can talk to NPCs in Public Service?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Huh. How about you, Leaznalo?”

“I have not yet seen it, nor will I until it comes to Freegate. Preferably to this room. Which showing did you attend?”

“Oh, I went to the new Armory.” Dennet jerked his thumb over his shoulder, though whether in the correct direction, no one knew. “They projected it onto the side of a storehouse; it was great. The big shed shook a couple times during the movie, but we decided to ignore it.”

“A sound decision,” Leaznalo said.

The member states that made up the Federation sprawled across far too great an expanse for a single chapter to cover. Withdrawing from the Kamdl border in the northwest, the officers traveled through northern Tasgan, over rivers subjugated by masterful stone bridges and under a cloudless sky.

“Melban is that way.” Vinnette Melban pointed off to the right. “Enk is up ahead. Arvenne is on the south coast.”

“Where are we now?”

“The writers haven't decided yet.”

“Typical.” Sindze shrugged and Vinnette giggled.

“Wherever we are, these guys are looking for trouble. Fishing Spot! Lazy Lure!” Local Fisher's line went into action against the Illegal Researchers, who were Tasgan Soldiers with little Flood icons for variety and white cloaks suggestive of mad science. Their triple crossbows hinted at the same thing, but Tasgans considered those to be essential tools for everyday living.

“They were looking for Alben's secret base so they could ransack it before I got there,” Cadmos said. “The princes used to steer clear of it, but after the Kamdlian battle, they decided I was stronger than Alben. Hilliarde Feablas persuaded the council to grant me exclusive permission to enter, but Luerre Voine tried to sneak in ahead of me. These are his men.”

“Despicable. I intend to punish them with bolts from a two-dozenbow.”

“You can't! It's too powerful! Challenge Blade! What good is it to defeat Luerre Voine if you become worse than him?”

“Did you think we could go on this journey and change the world without changing ourselves? You're too naive! Nothing will change without power. The power of the two-dozenbow and the quadruple sword.”

When Ulrik succeeded in constructing a two-dozen bow, the result was twenty-four bolts flying wide of any conceivable target. Sindze U. Radalo rolled her eyes, shoved him aside while snatching the contraption, knelt, and hit eight Illegal Researchers at once before tossing the weapon away. “It works, we're all impressed and everything, hurray, you're the greatest inventor of all time, now will you get on with it?”

“I appoint you Archer General of the East and leave the bow stuff to you. Inferno Strike!”

“Oh, right, I forgot, you basically do nothing against Floods at this point. Sorry!”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“I revoke your appointment. Princess Melban! You are the new Archer General of the East.”

“Yay!” Vinnette picked up the two-dozenbow and shot, hitting one enemy.

Cadmos and Local Fisher closed off all avenues of research not sanctioned by the ruling body of the Tasgan Federation, and the Rares were there too. The Illegal Researchers soon gave way to an impossible foe far stronger than any Tasgan flunky, no matter the number of blades or crossbows. Huge and hairy, the Ralarum-Addled Bear appeared.

“I can't believe it! Count Luerre Voine, is that you? I just love your county! We should talk more some time, say, at one of your exclusive parties?”

“That's a bear, Sindze.”

“Nice to see you again, Count Voine.” Vinnette Melban curtsied.

“Vinnette, that continues to be a bear.”

“It's none of our business who the Tasgans let rule them,” Local Fisher said. “If somebody traipsed into Lithness and hassled us for being ruled by a centaur, I'd give him one of these! Prize Catch!”

“That's very broad-minded of you, but you did just land him like a fish. That seems like poor diplomacy.”

“Always start out with an extreme position so you have room to compromise. That's the basic of basics when it comes to negotiations.”

“Can we get Luerre Voine as an officer? I like his intensity. Intimidating Strike! No Flinch at all. Masterful.”

“We might, actually, because he didn't die in the story. I do have to emphasize Luerre is a man and not a bear, though.”

“Do you?”

“I guess I don't. Oh, my Destiny Resurrection is finally useful. Eclipse Fortification after ninety seconds isn't the most widely applicable passive. But Luerre Voine was an Eclipse and so is this bear! Dominion Imperia!”

“My condolences. I gain Attack and Defense when there are no other Doveskans in the group. I hope that cheers you up.”

“Ulrik, honey, darling? Tell him about the Flinch Immunity if you reaaaaaalllllly want to cheer him up. I can't help but laugh every time I think about it, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.”

“Right, right, from back when the developers thought Flinch would be important. That takes me way back. Hey, remember when the Practice Ring was only open on weekends?”

“Oh, that's true, because Monster Elimination was a different element every weekday and closed on the weekends, and players got their calculators out to see how long it would take to raise our levels and skills, and they were so unhappy at the numbers that came out that you just had to feel for them, you know?”

“No kidding. 'Why should we recruit if we can't do anything with our new units anyway?' That kind of complaint spread all over the place. There was still a lot of recruiting though. Everybody wanted Kint for their Medic and Rylweadh as DPS. 'Your account's worthless without Kint and Ryl!' Nobody knew how demanding the content would be, so they worried about getting stuck without the latest hyped officer.”

“When it comes to overhyped officers, I don't think anything can ever come close to when Eclipses other than you started coming out. A bunch of players had seriously thought you would be the only one ever.”

“And even then, they wondered if I would be the only Eclipse Champion. 'Each class gets one, that's the rule.' Now we have four Medics.”

“Storm only has two or so after two whole years and counting! But I guess that makes since, since there were none at launch, and I think the developers didn't want every element to have everything, but they've pretty much given up on that, haven't they?”

Local Fisher and Vinnette Melban squirmed and fidgeted during that old-timer conversation, which required some dexterity given they were fighting a bear with silver fur that glowed faintly and claws that caused explosions when they made contact with their foes. Ulrik sliced and slashed as usual, but during some cheeky spins he had occasion to view the discomfiture of his current allies.

“This will all be forgotten when the new element is introduced,” he declared. Sindze and Cadmos took up the proposition, and Local Fisher participated as well. Vinnette said little but relaxed at least, which required some fortitude given she was fighting a bear that shot beams from its eyes which inflicted the Nova Growth-inhibiting Obscured Sun effect.

A devastating condition for teams that depended on frequent Novas, but less impactful for those that placed their confidence in being overequipped and overraritied for the content. Cadmos and Local Fisher did not need Novas to have a good time, and consequently the Ralarum-Addled Bear's HP experienced a bad time and all its consequences till it could experience nothing more.

“Farewell, bear.” Ulrik saluted. “Gladiator Bear was better.”

“It might be the same bear,” Cadmos said as he sheathed his sword. “After losing in the Enzet Games, it wandered the countryside looking for stronger opponents as training for next year. It stumbled on Alben's secret facility and its senses were disordered by all the Ralarum inside. How's that for a backstory?”

“Simple. Jejune. It gets us a bear officer. I approve. Write in to the company. Pretend to be a Saudi prince.”

“But the Story boss might actually become an officer. Didn't you say you didn't kill him?”

“How dare you.”

“I did, Local. He was spirited out of the battle by his chief librarian, Leslie Harthorpe.”

Sindze tossed her blonde archer hair. “She sounds more likely to go into the gacha than he does. A stuman, right? Going by the name? But anyway, a secret facility sounds far too intriguing for us to stand around talking about bears.”