The background changed from depicting pleasing hills and stately windmills to stakes set in the ground, volleys of arrows in flight, and charges of massed men. The Kamdlians pressed the Tasgans back everywhere Cadmos was not. His tiny force cut through the Kamdl Soldiers and resisted their swords and bowguns, which made the Tasgans look even worse than they already did. Kamdlian Stormness might have discouraged some, but Local Fisher's rarity and shameless summer confidence overpowered any discontent.

“Take that!” Vinnette adopted a fierce expression when she bonked Kamdlians with her caduceus, but her genuine smile kept breaking through.

“I already know the reason for this war. Count Poitnem and Hilliarde Feablas argued over which had more ruffles. The results are as you see. Those nobles, I tell you. What does the story make it out to be? As a cover, I mean.”

“You know, they didn't really go into that with me, Ulrik. The princes wanted me to help them, so I did. That's all I know.”

“Weeeeeelllllll, you know how the Tasgan Federation abuts the Yoerbla Desert?” Seeing a couple blank stares, Sindze elaborated. “It does. You can look at the map for yourself the next time we go back. The main thing that differentiates this continent from the other one is that while Perandra Imperia slowly fell apart into smaller kingdoms over the centuries, the ancient civilization here just went and disappeared or something and left a desert behind.

“Barbed Arrow! Right, so the center of civilization vanished and left all these gross Crabs and junk, which I'm sure disturbed everyone, because I'm still disturbed, and they weren't even hard for us to kill. A bunch of the locals banded together to fight off those threats and all the bandits and warlords that always spring up in times of chaos, or that's how I see it, being from Brenlond and all which is just the same way. They probably formed some sort of Tasgan League first as a loose defensive arrangement, but over time the influential princes started lording it over the rest with demands about road maintenance, standardized drills, tariff normalization, all kinds of really intrusive stuff.

“Well, you can just bet that all seems fine when your rules are the ones being imposed, but when they aren't? Even when you're the strongest country with the biggest army AND navy? The Tasgan Federation was formed, the Archduchy of Kamdl split off and took any sympathizers or countries they persuaded on the battlefield into its fold, and they've been feuding ever since, or at least that's what I imagine based on how RPGs and stuff typically go.”

“Yes,” Vinnette Melban pronounced, lending Sindze U. Radalo's summary the imprimatur of an authority both native and high-ranking.

Debate the justifications of the Kamdlians and Tasgans all day, but which side coolness favored lay beyond dispute. Kamdlian straight swords, too plain to adorn a carpet for a standard household Rare closet, frustrated efforts at ingenuity and having a blast.

“All right, I can get up to five, but here's the problem. Five people would watch it. At most! The people want more flair in their juggled objects.”

“I didn't know you were so talented, Ulrik.”

“The battlefield forces us to learn skills we hoped we would never need. But! Listen well, Cadmos. They can break the ice at parties.”

“Pumpkin parties?”

“Pyramid parties only.”

Local Fisher finished tying swords to her net to create a sword net and commented as she cast it. “You have friends everywhere, don't you, Cadmos? Even among the, uh, rarity challenged. Um. What is it you prefer to be called?”

“Super Commons.”

“Ew, Ulrik, someone might believe you if you say that, and then call you that, and don't try to claim you won't be mad.”

“That was my goal from the beginning!”

“We say Rares . . .”

“Sometimes we say Flames of Dovesk! Flames of Dovesk!”

“Let me be clear that the rest of us have never said that. Have we, Vinvin?”

“Not that I recall . . .”

“You actually can't say the name of another officer's Nova. It's coded in.”

“I'm just overjoyed we can all talk like this, all different rarities, exchanging banter, making up wild stories. It's really refreshing!”

“Try it. Say mine.”

“Dominion Imminent. Wait. Dominion Immaterial. You're kidding.” Sindze loosed an arrow as if to release her frustration but actually to kill an enemy. “Dominion Improbable! Argh!”

“Rumor has it that if you can manage to say a different Nova, you'll swap yours for that one. It's a great rumor, because nobody will ever be able to disprove it. Hey, we made it to the boss.”

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Barding gleaming brighter than that of the Ultra Rarest of centaurs! A helmet with twin silver horns! Meticulously scrubbed teeth! Kamdl War Dragon roared and lurched to the offensive.

“The coolness gap has closed! Where do I sign up for the Kamdl army? Ow! Princess Melban. Please.”

“Yeah, this might be the only Suppression boss more impressive than the character it replaces. You don't have to tell General Wakve I said that, but he'd probably agree if you did.”

“I don't know. I imagine some people would say the political drama and the clash of strong personalities like General Wakve and Hilliarde Feablas are faaaaaaaar more interesting than some dragon with a Viking helmet.”

“Those people are wrong. Dragons are cool.”

“I'm afraid Ulrik is right, Sindze.”

“Oh come on. Vinvin, Local Fisher, you see what I'm saying, don't you? I'm not speaking for myself, mind you, but you know, we have seen dragons in the game before. This is nothing new.”

“They weren't armored, though.” Cadmos smacked the War Dragon's barding for emphasis. “I can agree there was one standout thing about the Story version. Hilliarde was there as a guest officer, and that's why all the players knew they should try to get him.”

“Overpowered characters are pretty cool, but wouldn't it be better if we had this fight on the beach? A naval invasion,” Local Fisher said.

“Look at these footprints. Sand won't support this titan.” Ulrik stuck a sword straight down inside a depression left by the Kamdl War Dragon's mighty claws and pointed at how little of it showed above the earth.

“That's all right. We can leave out the dragon.”

The factions were thus established, though Vinnette Melban refused to commit to one side or another, Regening both equally and running around to avoid being stepped on. The Dragon stayed neutral as well. It tried to step on all the officers without distinction. Its lightning breath also lacked discrimination. Ulrik and Cadmos drew back, watched its erratic electrical attack, looked at its metallic armor, and pondered.

“Now, how do we get it to electrocute itself?” Cadmos asked.

Ulrik popped the pommel off a Kamdlian sword and started working the hilt down toward the bottom of the blade for removal. “We need more swords. More Soldiers. Like those.”

Kamdl Soldiers ran in to support their War Dragon as part of the new doctrine established by General Wakve in place of the old one which demanded Soldiers be supported by the War Dragon. Cadmos and Ulrik confiscated their weapons and shoved them aside, seeing which Local Fisher started snagging swords and jerking them out of stunned Kamdlian hands. Flying arrows went straight for necks until the other officers glared at Sindze U. Radalo, who shrugged and started shooting limbs and fingers instead.

“Just to be clear, any good archer can do this sort of thing, but after dinner gets away because you were having your fun you realize that maybe you should just hurry up and kill your quarry.”

“We don't get hungry, and we were made for having fun,” Cadmos reminded her.

“Yeah, but is it fun for the players if we aren't taking it seriously? This isn't some joke game like Lunacy Bike. It's a fantasy epic like Lament Epoch.”

“A little too much like Lament Epoch according to a lot of the ratings. Caught another one!” Local Fisher whipped her rod back and flung her catch of sharp steel at the Dragon's flank, planting it to add a segment to the string of swords starting to stretch from armor to deadly maw under Ulrik's careful direction.

“The best case scenario is that we see this thing's skeleton. Just a couple more.” Another Kamdlian cohort offered its arms up to the great project. “Done!” Ulrik leapt down from the War Dragon.

The officers all moved toward the boss's rear to ensure it turned its head right when the time came. When it did, blue tendrils of fantasy electricity reached for metal and found it, slithering along from sword to sword and sizzling dragon flesh as they went till they exploded onto open fields of barding where they could run and jump and play, as lightning tendrils often do. The phenomenon failed to offer the spectacle of a visible dragon skeleton, but by way of apology it gave the officers' noses a nice whiff of barbecue followed by the oppressive smells of burnt metal and scorched rubber.

“That Dragon isn't a Kamdlian in a suit, is it? That would be just too much,” Sindze said, sniffing and wrinkling her nose.

“I think that's from padding beneath the barding,” Cadmos speculated.

They had leisure to discuss the possibilities. Lightning continued arcing up and down the path of swords and all around the armor, and lifebars continued falling down and down. Even worse for the boss, its own small chance of inflicting Stun, multiplied by that many applications, became as close to a sure thing as recruiting Bel Felicitous Fasde instead of Night Shift Lynissia. The Kamdl War Dragon could do nothing but stand immobile, perhaps vibrating a bit as its own lightning stunlocked it to death.

“Well, one thing I can say is that Dennet never would have allowed that to happen. It didn't even show off its Nova or anything.”

“Better for us, isn't it? Huh, a Tasgan Spear dropped. Isn't this set for tanks?” Local Fisher examined the weapon and tried a few casts with it. “Bonuses when you get hit. Tank stuff for sure.” She tossed it up and let it fall to the ground.

“Specifically, Nova gain on hit. Nonneros wears this, but he's the only Reaper tank so far.”

“Nobody wants it. That's established. Give it to me for disposal.”

“Did you hear 'Nova gain' and stop listening? Oh, sorry. That shouldn't have been a question.”

“Feeling a little vicious? I never would have thought it of you, but I'm just a little Harasser who doesn't get out much.”

“That wasn't vicious at all, Sindze. Take a look for yourself.” Cadmos pointed at Ulrik, who was turning the spear over in his hands and muttering to himself. “He didn't pay attention to a word I said. That's how Reaper ears work.”

“Gosh, you're right. Hey Ulrik! Dragons are lame! Spaceships are way cooler! Yeah, no reaction.”

“I know you're having fun, but please don't say things you don't mean.”

“Mmmmmmmm.”

“What's everybody talking about?” Local Fisher returned from bounding around and checking all the drops. “More importantly, the sixth chapter is next, right? Away we go!”

“What, really? Right away? Just like that?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Um . . .”

“Is there a problem, Sindze?”

Ulrik recovered from his Nova mania in time to rescue his fellow Rare from the concerned looks of her gold and rainbow comrades. “Calm yourselves. The explanation is simple. Sindze has noodle arms, making it impossible for her to kill fast enough to clear two chapters in a day. Her mind can't accept it! Drag her there if you have to. Ah. As proof, this arrow that penetrated my leg seconds ago barely hurts at all.”

Local Fisher laughed. “Then away we go! Again! The next country awaits. What is the next country?”

“The Tasgan Federation.”

“The Tasgan Federation awaits! Hold on, what?”