Improved teamwork carried them through those waves and away from the coast. Rolling hills crowned by picturesque villas and orchards graced the background, not to mention windmills, their blades slowly turning. “A rich-looking country,” Ulrik noted.
“Yes!” Vinnette Melban looked away from whacking a Space Pirate's noggin to elaborate. “It's peaceful too, except for Kamdl sometimes, and the mutants.”
“Of course. The mutants. Those?” Ulrik grabbed a cannon and aimed it toward an Invasive Crab that led the next wave, firing it after Vinnette nodded.
“They get pretty far in sometimes before we fight them back,” she explained. “There are other kinds too. Things get weird near the desert. Did you go there? Cadmos?”
“Sure did. As a matter of fact, the entire seventh chapter takes place there. The eighth is just over the border in Lithness. And that's it for the story so far.”
“Well, if we ever need a tour guide for Lithness, I hope you'll let us call on you, seeing as you're the king's daughter and all, Princess Local Fisher. For now though, let's discuss what's going on here, like did Morado Ven make an alliance with the mutant crabs, something about plundering the coast all around this sea from Kamdl to Archens, or even to Ittora?”
“Uh, yes, Sindze, that's exactly what happened.”
“Great! That was just a guess, but that proves we've learned some things about how the world works on this journey, right guys? The battles are getting a little tough for us though. Will we be all right here?”
“Let me think. Ulrik, your Attack is around what, twenty thousand?”
“20,913. Cadmos, have you been spying on me?”
Cadmos held his hands up. “It's my experience talking! Just experience. And Local Fisher's must be, uh, well . . . different. And mine. Yeah, we should be fine for anything up to the Guardian.”
Sindze hopped and clapped. “What a relief! Now we don't have to be anxious while we fight. I'm going to shoot the pith helmet right off that Crab! Final Arrow!”
“She did it!” Vinnette applauded when she saw the helmet pop off a dying Invasive Crab's head. Its fellows shook their spears angrily and marched to take the offensive, terrifying in their man-like size to people who have never played or heard of video games and disappointing in their Quakeness to Sindze U. Radalo, whose Attack had been slighted enough already.
“Man this for me while I Nova some Quakes.” Ulrik handed possession of a cute mini-cannon over to Sindze, who got a few shots off before it disappeared.
The Crabs refused to allow such adorable artillery to disrupt their formations, a conviction both courageous and mechanically beneficial. “They have pretty extreme Defense Up when near other Invasive Crabs. None of us have any kind of displacement, but we can aim to isolate them.” Cadmos acted on his own recommendation by Challenge Blading one and dragging it out of formation for an easier kill. The officers concentrated on Crabs that would leave gaps in the ranks by their absence and also stole their pith helmets.
“I successfully implemented visible equipment on an officer model. Have I achieved the impossible?”
“You have. How did you fit your hair in there? Cadmos can't do it.” Local Fisher tried to screw a helmet on the hero's head, but his explosive hair resisted the procedure. Ulrik walked over, shaped the red hair into a cone, and bent it over and downward.
“Try it now.” Local Fisher smashed the pith helmet down. It tilted a bit when Ulrik let go, but stayed more or less in standard headwear position. “Keep your head still from now on. Never talk either. The vibrations might loosen it.”
“I think I might have to talk, Ulrik.”
“Nobody else does.”
“I need to use Domination Blade though.”
“Does that sound like an attack a hero would use? A respectable main character? No. That's the attack of a villain, and we don't want our main guy to fall into darkness. Stand there and let us carry the burden of violence.”
“I appreciate that. Domination Blade!” His pith helmet tumbled off as Ulrik had warned, but the Invasive Crab on the other end lost both its headwear and its life. “But I'll sacrifice everything for my friends, my comrades! Something like that, right?” Cadmos turned and grinned over his shoulder.
This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it
Sindze sidled over to Ulrik while they fought and whispered, “Look, don't get the wrong idea, but is Cadmos maybe growing on anyone? Just a little bit, I mean, like maybe you wouldn't invite him to a party, but you wouldn't dump the punch on him either.”
“I would tell him to leave and dump the punch on someone whose hair needs to be redder. That's the limit of my consideration.”
“So he is growing on you. I knew it!” Sindze raised her voice. “Hey everybody! Ulrik is Cadmos's biggest fan outside of Gaelvry!”
“That's great,” Vinnette congratulated him.
“Two fans now? Really reeling them in now, aren't you? Just shows how important taking a vacation from time to time can be.”
“Glad to hear it, but what's this about Gaelvry?”
“Nothing you need to worry about, I'm sure. The important thing is that we're all friends here, and that means we can fight even harder. Right?”
“Right!” Cadmos worked his way through Invasive and interfering Crabs to mutter to Ulrik, “Why didn't you object? You don't have to answer.”
“I never thought I did. Intimidating Strike!” Ulrik grabbed his victim's spear and tried to trip up another Crab before coming to understand the agility and stability of crab locomotion. “Finishing Strike! My plan was to break a claw off one of these and use it to steal Sindze's nose. I practiced. You may have seen it.”
“I did see it, yes.”
“But! She's lost enough. We used to hope our best Storm Harasser was available for idle mode. Now we hope an SR shows up. We found the genii without her and even had nice words said about us. A few. She can keep her nose.”
Cadmos chopped a Crab in twain. “I didn't think of it that way. I guess I still have a lot to learn when it comes to people's feelings.”
“This is why nobody likes you! One reason out of many. You came with us just so Local Fisher would have a full group in no position to make fun of her. Now you're talking like you just learned a moral at the end of an episode that you never needed to learn in the first place. Also there's no moral and no episode.”
“Is that what it sounded like?” Cadmos laughed. “And it's not as if I didn't want to get out and fight, too. I've barely been used since last Halloween. Not to mention these Crabs are a lot friendlier than the discussions going on in Freegate right about now. That's your fault, you know.”
“Princess Melban. Cadmos blames us for everything.”
“Oh no . . .”
“Come on, don't put it that way. I was just talking about how the genius party planning is causing some controversy.”
“Didn't they have that already? I assumed I wasn't invited. Distracting Arrow! We don't hear much about these things after we retire to our separate lounge, you see, so we're in the dark as to what possibly could be the problem. Vinvin and the others found the last genii ages ago, didn't they?”
“Yesterday, yes. And we were going to have a party today. You all would have been invited, of course.”
“Of course! Ever since Anstralia mentioned in her interview that she followed that weird track you made, your part has gotten some notoriety. I'm surprised Lasva didn't interview any of you.”
“She was dispatched this morning.”
“Ah. And when she gets back she'll have to ask Merilia exactly what a 'pyramid party' is supposed to be. I don't have a clue myself!” A Crab tried to snag Local Fisher's line and died for its temerity. “Is that the boss? Hey! Boss! Over here!” She waved and pranced to catch the Space Pirate Captain's attention. “Oh, he's not an Inferno. That's a shame. Oh well. If my bonuses were going to expire, they would have by now, right? Permanent buffs! Lazy Lure!”
“Is Merilia from Archens?”
“Why, whatever would make you say so, my little Doveskan? You don't suspect a pyramid party is some sort of excuse for Archens officers to call attention to themselves as candidates to be a mummy or an ancient sorcerer or something, do you? Your cynicism is unbecoming! Final Arrow!”
“I had a thought like that, but I no longer believe in thinking. What did Quircy Rau suggest?”
Cadmos picked up a pith helmet before it disappeared and slung it, but it only bounced off the midboss. “I'm starting to wonder if you know more about this than I do. She said we should have a pumpkin contest.”
“Uh huh.”
“That was before the pyramid party but after the bubbling cauldron pot luck that Azinsia said would be nice and seasonal. The whole thing started when Count Poitnem suggested we throw an outdoor barbecue at the new storage site. At first I was surprised anyone objected, but the specifics of the new ideas made it all pretty clear.” He shrugged.
“Any more? Rares can only know Ultra Rares by their fruits,” Ulrik prompted.
“Gaelvry said we should do some kind of Old West thing. She seemed hazy on the details. Nobody pressed her on it because we all knew she was just trying to support Georgia.”
“Though a spooky cowboy alt would be a waste on her.” Local Fisher snorted. “Might as well make a Summer Azinsia. In my opinion, Santa Anne Cooper is the way to go. Have her ride a reindeer. We know they can produce that kind of model.” She slapped her own flank to call attention to an example.
“We could have all of them . . .”
“That does seem like the natural conclusion, doesn't it?” Cadmos drove his knee into the midboss's stomach, picked up the beam cutlass the foe dropped, and explored the possibilities of dual-wielding. “They'd argue if anyone proposed that now, though. We'll give it a day or two for their hopes to die down. I'm not sure, but Quircy might honestly believe no one understands why she wants to have a grand pumpkin showing. That she can get away with it.”
“She might be better at getting away with things than you think. Oof! Sindze. If that knee thing impressed you, test it on the Pirate. He has more HP than I do and you have elemental advantage.”
“Oh, how silly of me. Won't you forgive me, Ulrik? Sometimes I get carried away and do, or say, out loud, in public, things I really ought to keep to myself, but I can't be the only one who does that, can I, Ulrik?”
If they seemed not to take the boss seriously, it was because URs and post-launch SRs took seriously Trials, PvP, certain special fights in events, and nothing else. Cadmos had fifty levels on Ulrik and Sindze, better stats at each level, and purpler gear despite his best equipment having been transferred to True Beryllia long ago.