Officers within hearing range gasped and dropped their cutlery to stare at Cadmos, amazed. “He looks exactly the same!” cried Ozric Orn Pallad before he sank to his knees, sobbing. Others knelt, kowtowed, or hid their eyes from their main character before awe blinded them.
“Your eyes will never discern higher realities, low brows. You'll find out soon enough if this spinoff isn't delayed. Which it will be! In the meantime I'll be on 'Team Grappling Is Fun But I'd Rather Not Ruin Christmas by Hanging Out with Santa in the Off-Season.'”
“That's also why I'm here, but we can't paint that on a banner,” Local Fisher said. “Team Takedown! I've decided, no complaints, shut up.”
Cadmos came over according to custom and congratulated Darlotte Glofal on her selection. “I'd also like to encourage you to trust Ostros. Without his advice and friendship, I never could have ascended to a state beyond the shoto.”
“Did that happen at all? Oh, I don't mean to doubt your word, Cadmos, but you are prone to delusions. Sometimes I almost suspect you believe we listen to your speeches!”
Cadmos put on his sunglasses. “What about now?”
“I suppose it would be rude not to listen a little . . .” Darlotte finally relented from her assault on Gradis P. Dorenz, which freed him to walk over and high-five Cloton Zvolo.
Over there, Kindo and Skaya struggled to explain that he was the normal one and Darlotte Glofal the surprise. “Her initial spotlight underperformed if you're looking at revenue year-by-year and adjusting for the overall growth of the game,” Skaya insisted. Kindo held the whiteboard while Skaya carried on the lecture, but the pair persuaded most onlookers of nothing but that some kind of teacher alt might be fun. Captain Hwanimesca at least seemed interested. She raised her hand.
“Sort of a side question, but what other officers would you say are more popular with players than people around here think they are? I know that's vague, but just as a general indication.”
“Thinking off the top of my head, the general opinion seems to be that Kint N. Bredle was popular back when because of Medic scarcity, but he's still getting fanart and decent poll results. Then there's Havamal. He was overshadowed by Quircy Rau and Zimley Boe, sure, but their debut spotlights did especially well. That doesn't mean his flopped. It was a big success.”
“Not to interrupt, but I'm interrupting. Sorry, sister, but I can't be dissuaded. Who's out there walking around, not knowing Havamal has the public eye on him?” Surfs Nesetta looked left and saw some morons, right and some dummies, but nowhere did she find anyone oblivious enough to doubt Havamal's popularity.
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“I'm a trifle surprised at Skaya's assertion,” Formal Figro attested.
“He has five actives!”
“The relevance of that is?”
A hubbub came from every Reaper in the hall at once. Some tried to explain Havamal's greatness, whereas others demanded Figro's justification for pretending to be the dumbest officer alive with that last question. Was it part of his plot to take away the accolade of “#1 Dumbest” they had conferred on Burmin Trivvis? Too bad, because that was specifically the “#1 Dumbest Reaper” award. Champions could make their own version.
“Master Eten, can you make them shut up?”
“Hm. Hey! Skaya's about to talk about Havamal some more!”
In response to Eten's pronouncement, the Reapers all halted mid-sentence, mid-gesture, and mid-air in the case of Ulrik, who had just attempted to dropkick Formal Figro but was unable to penetrate the defenses of his impeccable hat.
“Thanks, Master Eten! So Havamal is faring well with the public, and so are you, Miss Nesetta. At the time we all thought that record-breaking spotlight owed its success to summer in general and Minsie of the Waves in particular, but when we get around to examining repeat spotlights where Surfs Nesetta is paired with various URs, we see better performance than we were expecting from the URs alone.”
“That's our girl!” Nonneros and Beans Istemus both ruffled the hair of Surfs Nesetta, who was holding her hat over her cheeks to hide the blushing.
“It looks like Kullervo carried over at least some of his fanbase from Holy Legend Army, though who knows if they'll be playing after a year. Luerre Voine outperformed Leslie Harthorpe at first going by the stats of officers used in AI arena, but that data's always confounded in ten different directions. She was low in fanart too, but she's receiving a bunch now, all as her bridal alt.” Luerre Voine adjusted his collar and winked at everyone. Skaya continued during that time-intensive process. “Those are the main ones I can come up with just like that. The big questions are about the more recent additions. Sure, you can look at week one fanart and mentions, but a lot of that will be people jumping on anything that might be a bandwagon.”
“What you're saying is that Cloton Zvolo is the hero of the underrated and that we have to rally behind him. I know you didn't actually say that, but I can't hear myself praised without taking action. Who's with me?” Several followed Luerre Voine into the new Team Underground: Havamal, Kint N. Bredle, and Surfs Nesetta.
“You don't have to wait for Skaya to butter you up to party with us,” Cloton Zvolo assured the crowd, looking right at Serdon Miloz, who avoided the attack by striking up a conversation with Tinni Ilx about how lackluster the latest batch of Ersatz Strugglers had turned out to be. “You don't have to declare any allegiance, either. We're not about tribes, barriers, or keeping people apart. We're about changing your perception.”
“Aren't all the entrants about that except the Beruvos because they're popular already oh I'd better raise my hand!” North Pole Azinsia raised her hand.
“You'll have both those hands up once we get going! Let's go find a clubhouse!” Cloton Zvolo led the way out.