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SFC 40. The Sick Old Man of Gacha

SFC 40. The Sick Old Man of Gacha

“These three again. Disappointing.” Mentor Tendradius Pux considered turning away in disgust, but Knight Mori had engaged him. Losing to a girl wearing something that could pass as a D***** Q**** Halloween costume, complete with all that remained of a sword after corporate lawyers confiscated its sharpness, might damage his image more than defeating so unimpressive an opponent. He resolved the situation by punting her toward Listeria Adan, whose elismith reputation depended on the effectiveness of her forge's products rather than any prowess in the melee. She bonked Knight Mori on the head, thereby causing little stars to appear and swirl around as as a testament to the effectiveness of her arms.

The fairytale castle must have been heartless, for it did not to weep to see its champions defeated on the green fields studded by flowers below. Princess Azusa charged a herd of queens and duchesses that trampled her dreams, her tiara, and her kingdom under delicate feet. Morgana gave Witch Hino a lesson in Holy Legend Army magic while Hemt demonstrated Christmas magic, though the true magic happened when he refrained from saying anything about it being better to give than receive. Even one-sided fights deserved better than that.

Alchemist Yururu transmuted all her hitpoints into zero hitpoints, a poor exchange. Thief Noriko stole defeat from under victory's pillow. It went on like that. Nowhere did the natives push back the invaders, force them to stop, or even slow their torrent, not even so much as a lazy beaver who throws a few sticks into the stream and calls it a day.

“That's that. Hey, you! Main character! I forgot your name, but that doesn't mean I don't respect you.” Quircy Rau navigated the battlefield toward Princess Azusa. “You said these are your strongest alts, according to my notes.”

“Ye . . . yes . . .” The trounced foe sniffed and rubbed her dirty nose.

“That settles it as far as I'm concerned.” Quircy hauled over the biggest bowling trophy Everyday Pin offered, about 0.8 Cadmoses in height. It made tracks in the fertile fantasy soil as she dragged it next to Princess Azusa, and when she righted it, all could see it boasted a customized plaque which read, “The #1 Most Cutest Little Go-Getter Game There Is.”

“It's an honor for me to be able to present you this award. I bought it for that other Styleful Happy!! game, but now I'm glad a space torpedo hit me, because it would have been embarrassing to revoke it from that Azusa after I met this one. We have to be honest, though. The price is high sometimes, but necessary.”

The victors applauded, or in some cases cheered when an officer or crusader hauled up one of the fallen girls and prodded her toward the award ceremony. None of them could think of a game that deserved more praise than Styleful Happy!! The Battle, which had offered a fight and then lost, the two noble actions the invaders wanted from a victim. More than that, the haunted castle populated by skeletons that fell into bone piles when defeated and mummies with loose strips that attackers could grab and use to spin the wrappings off, revealing a little kitten or puppy inside, converted everyone who entered into a fan.

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

Princess Azusa accepted the trophy through some mixture of gulps, hiccups, and tears, which prompted Quircy to ask if anyone had a handkerchief. Anyone at all. Aaaaaanybody out there. A slayer tromped over and offered his, though some criticized the way he looked to the side, his features grim, while he held it out. “Is that how a gentleman behaves?” Darlotte Glofal chided.

“Show me how you do it then,” Alvin said, which satisfied the conditions for the second award ceremony of the outing. Luerre Voine lugged over a stuffed brown bear that demanded the labor of both of his arms. The tag attached to it read, “To my new pal! I can BEARLY stand Duchess Enk either!”

The invaders and defenders alike celebrated Alvin's achievement, Darlotte Glofal included. She never read the tag. She just liked the bear. Everyone did. When Princess Azusa gave back the hanky and asked if she could hold the bear for a bit, no hesitation delayed Alvin's chivalry that time, and he did not shudder to watch her bury her wet face in the thing. Or when she rubbed it in there real good, or when the other girls ran up and followed her example.

“Goodness, what a rapid improvement in gentlemanly manners. I must praise you, Alvin Renzis, and so I will. Oh dear, how do I praise someone without seeming forward? This is a ghastly situation.” Darlotte Glofal's hands fluttered, her feet pranced, and her blushing face amused Luerre Voine.

“I was shortsighted. I ought to have prepared another prize for flustering Duchess Enk.”

“That would have been nice. I, uh, don't think this bear's coming with me.” Alvin Renzis scratched the back of his neck as he watched the locals cling to his trophy.

“Let's set that up in our base once they're done with it. And once we have a base. Is the base done yet, Construction? Not yet? Good. Make sure you include a bear-washing station. You already did? Great!” Quircy Rau loosed Plundering on Styleful Happy!! The Battle, which found a trove of glowsticks and punch bowls over in Musical Kingdom Rhythmonia, enough to meet current requirements. Another war won, another game secured, and another treasury looted.

The host, forgetting its anger and sadness concerning its defeat by Furious Galaxy because of those successes, and also because of all the concussions the spaceships had inflicted, demanded more activity. Warriors joined hands to put up a base that matched the surrounding aesthetic with elements such as a drawbridge over a little moat, colorful pennons, and a giant inflatable dragon wrapped around the main keep that breathed fake fire made from coiled Christmas lights. After plugging the lights in and waiting for a couple cycles, the horde hooted, waved goodbye, and dashed inside to sit on a fountain.